EP 2: The High School Graduate Myth
EP 2 The High School Graduate Myth
I woke up early, downed a low-grade elixir (D), and left the house. The meeting was set for 8 p.m., but there was always the risk the request would be canceled if I showed up late. Besides, I had nothing else to do, so I decided to head out early. A quick search showed a direct bus to Samjin Hotel. While I stood waiting at the stop, I heard chattering and high-pitched laughter.
Turning my head, I spotted three girls in uniforms from a nearby girls' high school. One was short with dyed blonde hair, another was tall with a short haircut that screamed "athlete," and the last was an ordinary build with long black hair, looking like a living doll. Lately, every woman I ran into seemed unusually pretty. …Not that it made them any less terrifying.
I averted my gaze and lowered my head.
“Oh. Short hair. Are you a feminist? Okay. You're dead.”
“...N-no. I'm just a guy!”
Maybe it was the tone that sounded like she was about to hit me. Instinctively, I waved my hands and backed away. The moment I did, the hostility vanished. All three suddenly dropped into deep bows and shouted at the top of their lungs.
“We're sorry! I'm Lee Ye-sol, a third-year at Daejeon Virtuous Wife High School, nineteen years old! I beg for your forgiveness, sir!”
“I'm Lee Seo-ah, third-year at the same school, nineteen years old! I dare to behold your noble countenance!”
“I'm Yoo Jin-hee, third-year at the same school, nineteen years old! I dare to behold your noble countenance!”
What the hell was this?
“No, no. I'm really fine.”
When I waved them off, they finally stood up, brushing dust from their knees. Come to think of it, Daejeon Virtuous Wife High School… I remembered what Secretary Yoo Hyun-ah had mentioned. It was some national institution that trained and supplied “virtuous wives.” I’d just nodded along when I first heard about it, but I hadn’t expected this level of intensity.
The long-haired girl pulled out her gym clothes, spread them over the bus-stop bench, and tugged on my arm.
“Please sit here. Your legs must be tired. I’ll massage them for you.”
“Lee Seo-ah. You’re always one step ahead of us.”
“As expected of Lee Seo-ah. Your thinking is on a completely different level. Truly worthy of a national 1,300th-ranked Virtuous Wife examinee.”
Before I knew it, I was sitting down with them massaging my shoulders and arms from both sides. Their legs crossed over mine, gripping my calves from left and right. I missed my chance to refuse. While I was still stammering, the girl called Lee Seo-ah smiled sweetly and offered an electrolyte drink.
“Are you thirsty? Here’s a drink. May I feed it to you?”
This couldn’t go on. I was different from the old me. I’d decided to change. But the moment I tried to say something harsh, yesterday’s scene flashed through my mind—the way people had flooded the comments the second I called someone vicious. If these girls in front of me reacted the same way… honestly, I didn’t think I could win. The pressure from their hands on my arms and legs told me these girls were strong.
…Maybe it was better to just say I wasn’t attractive.
I cleared my throat.
“I, uh… my family situation wasn’t great growing up. I never really got proper love. Because of that, I’ve barely talked to women. So hanging around someone like me wouldn’t be fun at all. You’d just end up disappointed.”
I forced a smile as I spoke. For a moment, silence fell.
“Excuse me, what’s your name?”
“Yoo Ji-tae.”
The girl in front of me dropped to her knees and clasped her hands together, eyes sparkling as she looked up at me.
“Ji-tae oppa, please marry me.”
“W-wait a second—”
“I’ll make you happy no matter what.”
I tried to resist, but their strength was overwhelming. Before I knew it, the three giggling high-school girls were dragging me away. After about two hundred meters, their homeroom teacher—who had been drinking at a nearby restaurant—spotted us and finally pulled me free. I still couldn’t forget the dying scream of “I’m his wife!” as she was dragged away by the ear.
Anyway, I somehow made it back home. What the hell just happened? I didn’t understand any of it. I collapsed in the entryway.
“...I’m going crazy.”
EP 2 The High School Graduate Myth
At this rate, I wouldn’t even make it to Samjin Hotel. I’d probably get dragged off somewhere and become a father without realizing it. I never expected traffic to be this bad just moving around. Walking to Samjin Hotel was dangerous. Public transport was dangerous. A taxi? Even more dangerous. Even if I got inside the hotel, it would obviously be full of women. …What should I do?
No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t find an answer.
“...Should I ask?”
When in doubt, borrow the power of collective intelligence. I opened the casual chat board.
- She proposes.
- She assaults him.
- A bad man like that needs to be taken home ㅇㅇ
- That kind of thing rarely happens, right? Usually they have escorts.
- A wild male <<< is a unicorn
Amid the almost sexually harassing comments, my eyes stopped on one line.
“...Escorts?”
Now that I thought about it, there had been something similar in the documents Yoo Hyun-ah gave me. Something about the government assigning escorts to men. “...I see.” I had refused that.
Even people who seemed normal yesterday were openly saying crazy things now.
“Then what do I do?”
I posted again.
- Probably a married woman. That’s what it would be like in that case.
- Married woman.
- If she already has a master, that’s usually how it goes? Though it’s rare.
“What the hell is ‘master’ supposed to mean…?”
Right. Maybe I should just take a taxi. No. I’d probably get kidnapped and end up like one of those old movies where the killer says, “Oppa, you don’t mind if I like you, right? You can like me too,” and drags me off to be assaulted over and over.
Conclusion: I can’t do this alone.
From there, I selected a new, correct problem. Change the premise. The reason I couldn’t find an answer was because I was asking the wrong question. You can’t get the right answer from the wrong question.
Problem: How do I solve something I can’t solve by myself?
The answer came immediately.
[Han Ye-jin. I have a personal favor to ask. Do you have time right now?]
Solution: Borrow someone else’s hands.
Even if it was the woman who had smashed my door a few days ago, she was the only person I could ask for help right now.
*****
In a rather bleak room, a woman sat muttering to herself over and over.
“Ah. I want to have sexual contact with Ji-tae oppa. I want to cook for Ji-tae oppa. I want to bathe with Ji-tae oppa. I want to watch a movie with Ji-tae oppa. I want to contribute to the birth rate with Ji-tae oppa….”
Yoo Ji-tae. The man she had personally rescued. She knew where he lived and his location, but she was holding herself back because she thought he would hate it if she visited. Of course, she was reaching her limit.
‘Once you’ve laid eyes on a man like that, how are you supposed to hold back?’
‘What should I do? Should I go over pretending to bring side dishes? Or just say I’m visiting?’
‘Should I just ask if he needs anything first?’
There were so many things she wanted to do for the man she liked, but she had no idea how to even start.
‘The civil servant probably already met him. He must have picked plenty of Virtuous Wife candidates too. Why did I take a leave of absence from university? If I hadn’t, I might have been able to go on a blind date with Ji-tae-ssi.’
“A high school graduate… can’t go on blind dates…”
In this society that competed on being a Virtuous Wife, only a tiny fraction of women ever got paired with a man. And among them, only the very top could become the official wife.
Han Ye-jin curled up, sniffling.
Ding.
Her hands moved at lightning speed.
[Han Ye-jin. I have a personal favor to ask. Do you have time right now?]
Han Ye-jin’s lips curled upward. Just as she was about to reply, an unpleasant thought crossed her mind. She remembered a scene from an NTR story she’d seen recently, where the girlfriend was sent on an errand to the convenience store.
[Are there other women there?]
Of course that wouldn’t be the case, but if she handed over the item while other women were watching and then trudged back alone, her mind wouldn’t survive it.
[I’m not interested in other women at all.]
Han Ye-jin’s pupils trembled.
“...Does he like me?”
*****
Han Ye-jin arrived in less than ten minutes, panting heavily.
“I’m here! Did you wait long?!”
Seeing her again, she looked different from what I remembered. In my memory she had been a sturdy, capable woman, but in reality she was about my size. Her eyes were large, her hair had a soft wave to it—she gave off the feeling of a fluffy puppy.
…Interesting. Then again, watching her smash the door with her bare hands, maybe size didn’t matter after all.
After I explained the situation and asked her to escort me to the hotel, Han Ye-jin readily agreed.
“Actually, I’m a mage. Peak Refined Realm.”
“...Refined Realm?”
She then explained the ranks of mages. There were five realms: Refined Realm, Condensing Realm, Sacred Lotus Realm, Deity Realm, and Heaven and Earth Realm. As the realm increased, so did combat ability, legal immunity, social authority, tax payments, marriage success rate, and lifespan. Reaching Heaven and Earth Realm apparently meant living life on easy mode. University entrance exam students were all Refined Realm. Superpowers and martial arts had corresponding separate ranks.
Hmm. So I was also Refined Realm. …But even at the same realm, I couldn’t pull off the feat of breaking chains with my bare hands like her. The “peak of Refined Realm” she mentioned probably meant she had reached the growth limit within that realm.
“Don’t worry! I’ll deal with anyone who tries to talk to Ji-tae oppa. Even at Virtuous Wife High School’s combat classes, I always came in first. Whether it’s magical beasts or humans, I’ll turn them all into bloody pulp!”
She swung her fists around as she said it, and it didn’t sound like a joke at all. I had no desire to witness a massacre in the middle of the city. Sensing my reluctance, Han Ye-jin crossed her arms and thought for a moment before speaking.
“Hmm. Then what do you think about a disguise?”
“A disguise?”
“Yes. Even just wearing a hat should be enough that most people won’t notice.”
I rummaged through my room and found an old wide-brimmed hat. When I put it on, Han Ye-jin nodded approvingly.
“Perfect! You look like an ordinary antisocial woman!”
Talking with Han Ye-jin, I felt my energy draining. Worrying about formalities and such suddenly seemed stupid.
“...I guess so.”
I didn’t know whether I should like it or hate it.
“Let’s go.”
*****
The top-floor VIP room of Samjin Hotel. CEO Lee Ji-eun and numerous exclusive maids were seated. Samjin Group was a chaebol with a market cap of 800 trillion won, headed by Han Sang-jin. Of course, like most modern male chaebol heads, his success was thanks to his wives. His growth story was surprisingly ordinary—his wives had simply united various businesses around a single husband and created a massive group that sucked up money from across the country. Still, 800 trillion was practically the world. And the world, when it grew old, tended to split apart.
Once Han Sang-jin’s face began to turn yellowish, Samjin’s world started showing signs of decline and rotting from within. Eventually, his three wives decided to divide the empire into three parts. The first wife took electronics and chemicals. The second took finance. The third took hotels and department stores. With each wife managing her own sector, Samjin seemed to regain vitality and operate properly.
Then one day, the third wife, who managed the department store group, said to her two high-school-aged daughters:
“Do you want the management rights to my department store group? Very well. I’ll give them to the daughter who gets married and has a child first.”
Thus began a fierce competition between the two sisters—
“I’m pregnant.”
—and it ended with that single line. The eldest daughter, Lee Ji-an, had gotten pregnant through a shotgun marriage with her childhood friend. Thus was born the high-school girl CEO. Naturally, the second daughter, Lee Ji-eun, protested.
“Unni! Are you out of your mind?! We’re still students!”
“...Did you think you were dealing with a saint?”
“Mother! This isn’t right!”
“I’ll still love my foolish daughter.”
“Father!”
“The outcome was decided long ago. Your sister’s victory.”
Well, it was just a protest. In the end, Lee Ji-eun had been completely defeated. Utterly crushed. But an opportunity came. Fifteen years later, Lee Ji-an suddenly went missing during a business trip. Her only daughter also contracted an incurable disease at the same time. Lee Ji-eun did not miss that chance.
Five years had passed since then. Five years was quite a long time—long enough for Lee Ji-eun, the second daughter of a chaebol wife, to firmly establish herself as CEO of the hotel and department store group. Long enough for the grandmother’s hopes for her granddaughter to be crushed. Of course, to avoid suspicion while stripping her orphaned niece of everything, she had to at least pretend to treat the girl. That was exactly why she had commissioned the creation of Alkahest.
Alkahest was an elixir mentioned in the research of alchemists from hundreds of years ago—the only medicine said to have cured that disease. Of course, the authenticity of those records couldn’t be verified, and the recipe had been lost. But that didn’t matter. After all, it was a niece she hadn’t been able to kill. Lee Ji-eun had positioned herself as the de facto successor within the department store group, and that perception was already shared among the internal staff.
“It’s ten minutes before the appointment and he’s not here? How rude.”
So she could get away with such bossy remarks. The maids attending her…
“As expected, you can’t expect that kind of diligence from a mere high school graduate who arrives an hour early.”
“If that high school grad shows up, I’ll personally drown him on behalf of the CEO!”
“High school graduates are all the same! They’d definitely rush to prepare their husband’s breakfast ten minutes late!”
—had reached the point of nonstop defending her. Well, it was really just an excuse to belittle Lee Ji-an, the former high-school girl CEO.
Soon, a maid dressed as a secretary approached CEO Lee Ji-eun after receiving a call.
“He’s arrived. He’s on his way up now.”
Lee Ji-eun twisted her lips into a smile and crossed her legs.
“Alright. Who wants to do it?”
At those words, the room vibrated. She was practically a gang boss.
“I’ll do it.”
The 190cm-tall combat maid with a B-rank Hunter license, Han Do-yeon, raised her hand.
“Good. You do it. I’ll add a bonus depending on how it goes.”
Footsteps echoed from the hallway beyond the door. Han Do-yeon strode forward and, the moment the door opened, threw a punch straight ahead.
BANG!!!
The overwhelming wind pressure knocked the hat off the person in front.
“......Huh.”
Han Ye-jin caught Yoo Ji-tae as he stumbled backward in surprise, while she warily eyed the combat maid. His hair fell messily, partially covering his vision.
“Uh… uh… uh…”
Yoo Ji-tae, who had only come to the hotel in response to the request, felt a sudden fear of death and trembled. The combat maid Han Do-yeon immediately dropped to her knees and performed a full prostration in apology.
“I’m sorry! I’m Han Do-yeon, 22-year-old combat maid at Samjin Hotel! I swung my fist at you, sir, and I will apologize right now! I’ll accept any punishment! Please forgive me!”
The other maids followed without hesitation, kneeling and bowing respectfully.
“I’m Kim Han-byeol, 24-year-old maid at Samjin Hotel! I greet you, sir!”
“I’m Han Yoo-seong, 28-year-old head maid at Samjin Hotel! I greet you, sir!”
“I’m Kim Seol-ah, 19-year-old maid at Samjin Hotel! I greet you, sir!”
“I’m Yoo Jin-sol, 21-year-old maid at Samjin Hotel! I greet you, sir!”
…
Once the sudden round of greetings ended, Yoo Ji-tae fidgeted with his fingers before offering a small, awkward smile.
“Yes. Hello. My name is Yoo Ji-tae….”
The twenty-eight maids in the VIP suite became aware of their own womanhood for the first time in their lives. Only Lee Ji-eun, still seated in her chair, remained unable to escape her confusion.
‘Why is there a man here?’
“Ah. I’m sorry. Today we were supposed to interview a beginner high-school-graduate woman. I must have gotten confused.”
Yoo Ji-tae replied matter-of-factly.
“Ah. That’s correct.”
“Excuse me?”
“That’s me. I’m the one who received the request today. I came to craft the Alkahest.”
A brief silence.
“Ah. I see. Welcome!”
Hearing that, Lee Ji-eun belatedly smiled and welcomed Yoo Ji-tae.
‘Anyway, there’s no way he’ll succeed. I can just tell him to rest and go home.’
Men were precious. If word got out that a precious man was staying here, it would be good publicity. And on top of that…
‘I’m still at the age where I can get married, after all.’
Lee Ji-eun smiled with dark intentions as she took Yoo Ji-tae’s hand and led him to the sofa.