The Only Solution is Realm Ascension
“The first perfect scorer in the Magic Cooking License Exam.”
Ten examiners had gathered in the grading room, scrutinizing the test papers. There were no irregularities whatsoever, and every stroke of handwriting was identical.
“Hmm… any possibility of cheating?”
“None.” A female examiner brushed her hair back and declared firmly. “Every examiner here possesses appraisal skills capable of detecting even S-rank skills. It’s impossible to deceive them. This is pure skill.”
A female examiner in the corner tilted her head, then raised her hand. “Excuse meee. But Yoo Ji-tae? Isn’t this the chaebol son-in-law from last timeee?”
“No. The resident registration number ends in 8, remember? It’s a woman. Besides, I saw her myself. Same name, but definitely female.”
“Euuuh? But Yoo Ji-tae-nim is from the Femi District, right? Don’t they just stamp everyone with female numbers over there?”
“……Well. Unless the responsible official was extraordinarily negligent, they would have corrected that at the time of rescue. I believe the name was Yoo Hyun-ah.”
“Ah. That person is quite famous.”
“Why would a chaebol son-in-law even bother taking this exam in the first place? He should be busy preparing for his honeymoon with his wife right now.”
Everyone nodded in agreement at those words.
“Then—”
“Right?”
“This kid is—”
Once they all nodded, one of the examiners sent a text message to someone. Five minutes later, the sky outside the window flashed, and thunder boomed loudly. All the examiners dropped to their knees in the grading room, staring at the window.
From the radiant sky, a woman in splendid attire descended slowly. Black and purple silk robes interwoven, ornate hair ornaments. An appearance that swallowed even that splendor whole, and limbs with perfect proportions. She was the very definition of a nation-toppling beauty.
She stepped onto the windowsill.
“So.”
In that instant, every examiner slammed their foreheads to the floor in unison.
“Magic Cooking Examiner Heo Eun-ah! We greet Taeheo Seongun-nim!”
“Magic Cooking Examiner Lee Min-ji! We greet Taeheo Seongun-nim!”
“Magic Cooking Examiner Yoo Byeol! We greet Taeheo Seongun-nim!”
“Magic Cooking Examiner Kim Byeol! We greet Taeheo Seongun-nim!”
“Magic Cooking Examiner Ha Eun-yu! We greet Taeheo Seongun-nim!”
“Magic Cooking Examiner Lee Mi-do! We greet Taeheo Seongun-nim!”
“Magic Cooking Examiner Han Min-seo! We greet Taeheo Seongun-nim!”
“Magic Cooking Examiner Han Jo-yi! We greet Taeheo Seongun-nim!”
“Magic Cooking Examiner Lee Mi-ran! We greet Taeheo Seongun-nim!”
Ten examiners shouted their introductions with full force.
“Enough.”
Seemingly accustomed to the sight, she waved her hand dismissively, frowning. Then she touched Yoo Ji-tae’s test paper on the table and her eyes widened.
“A perfect score. And the solutions are flawless.”
Taeheo Seongun, Heo Shin-ah of the Sacred Lotus Realm, examined the answers with satisfaction. Not only were they accurate, but some answers contained depths of insight even she had never considered.
Magic cooking could be considered an advanced version of alchemy and pill refinement. The results born from vast knowledge were treasures on an entirely different level from things like the Great Return Pill or Plum Blossom Pill.
‘Even if they were worthless wretches, a perfect scorer’s cooking would have tremendous effects.’
‘It might even open the path to my final realm ascension, which has been blocked for so long.’
Reaching the Deity Realm changed one’s social standing entirely. While the Condensing Realm merely granted civil service exam bonuses or corporate placements, the Deity Realm not only eliminated prison sentences for crimes but also granted priority matching with unmarried men under national protection.
“I shall oversee today’s practical examination myself.”
A perfect scorer with no precedent. If that child’s magic cooking could not raise her realm, it would at least provide a spark of enlightenment.
“I look forward to it.”
Heo Shin-ah smiled brightly.
The practical Magic Cooking License exam could be described as a comprehensive test of both power and technique. Ingredient preparation was a prime example. The ingredients used in magic cooking were the meat of monsters called demonic beasts.
What about the Red Sword Crab? It weighed over 200 kilograms, and its shell was as hard as steel. To cook it raw for freshness, one could die from the crimson sword-shaped claws. What about the Infinite Regeneration Deer? One had to skin and butcher hide and flesh that wouldn’t even get scratched by pistol bullets, all while worrying the deer might revive at any moment and gore the cook to death.
The Venomous Great White Snake represented the extreme of this field. One had to prepare a twenty-meter monster brimming with venom, and failure to finish processing the ingredients within an hour could result in the entire body melting away.
Thus, magic cooking required both the knowledge to accurately dismantle demonic beasts and the strength to put that knowledge into action. Of course, today’s exam did not require cooking live specimens. However, even slicing ingredients demanded the force of a hydraulic press, so strength remained essential.
For example—
“Uuuuugh.”
Like carrying a sack of Radiant Heavenly Rice weighing over 800 kilograms. Even lifting it from the shelf where the ingredients were stored proved impossible, and after several failed attempts, I fell backward. Holding my hat down with one hand so it wouldn’t come off, I saw Lee Se-rin sneering at me from the side.
This was her third ingredient transport. Her face was flushed, sweat pouring down her entire body. Having removed her sweater, her black sports bra was soaked through with sweat, revealing well-defined abs. In that state, she grinned brightly.
“…What the hell! Haaah! Struggling with ingredient transport? Haaah! At this rate you’ll never be a devoted wife. If you’d pulled this crap at Busan Hyun-go where I went, you’d have gotten slapped right away, you know? Haaah!”
Similar words flew from behind as well.
“Huuu! Collapsing from something like this. Huuu! At Bucheon Hyun-go, you’d have been expelled with a broken jaw before even eating breakfast! Huuu! With that kind of muscle, how do you expect to catch a husband? Huuu! Pathetic. Huuu!”
Even while panting like they were on the verge of death, they never stopped belittling the weak. My mind went blank, and I simply lay there. Meanwhile, the other examinees, dripping sweat, began transporting and dismantling ingredients.
The practical exam hall was enormous—roughly the size of two soccer fields combined. Transporting ingredients meant carrying them at least several hundred meters. I couldn’t even move the rice.
The theme of the practical was “A Clean and Simple Meal.” Without even being able to cook rice, I was going to fail at this rate. Several examinees had already begun cooking. Flames nearly seven meters tall shot upward, with black and white lights circulating in the air, forming rings that pierced into the meat.
‘…This isn’t ordinary cooking.’
‘…Come to think of it, there aren’t any normal restaurants, are there?’
It was because I had been freeloading. Most examinees probably couldn’t even pass the written exam. On a whim, I searched on my phone and found that a regular cooking license also existed.
“…What the hell.”
Honestly, I had mostly slacked off on the investigation and left the actual handling to Secretary Yoo Hyun-ah. She had added that a Magic Cooking License was mandatory, which was why I was here. But apparently a regular cooking license existed too. Secretary Yoo Hyun-ah had insisted I obtain the Magic Cooking License personally.
I shook my phone, intending to make a call, but the examiners paid no attention. That probably meant it was allowed. When I called, the line connected in three seconds.
“Secretary Yoo Hyun-ah?”
-“Ah. Yoo Ji-tae-ssi. What’s the matter?”
“Yesterday, when I mentioned opening a restaurant, you said I needed a Magic Cooking License, right?”
-“Ah. Yes, yes. That’s right.”
“But there’s also a regular cooking license.”
-“Yes.”
No. “Yes” wasn’t the answer here…
“Wouldn’t the Magic Cooking License be quite difficult?”
-“Hmm. Did someone say that?”
“……Yes?”
-“Really? How disappointing.”
“Yes?”
-“Then shall I introduce you to a woman who’s good at cooking? There are quite a few women who want to meet you, Yoo Ji-tae-ssi.”
“Yes???”
-“I had high expectations since you crafted the Alkahest, but to think you’d be disappointed by something as trivial as this exam… This is my oversight.”
“Yes?????”
Feeling that the conversation wasn’t connecting, I closed my mouth for a moment.
-“Yoo Ji-tae-ssi? Was there anything else?”
I felt like I was facing an enormous wall.
“…It’s nothing. I’ll hang up.”
-“Yes. Contact me again if you need help.”
I ended the call and kept thinking, but in the end, I couldn’t understand a single word Yoo Hyun-ah had said.
*****
Male Management Department office. Secretary Yoo Hyun-ah scrolled through a webzine.
[Nobel Pension Prize Winner Hermes! Crafts the Alkahest!]
[Llywelyn’s Death Sentence! Hermes! Don’t You Dare!]
Hermes. A genius woman who, despite being a high school graduate with only basic qualifications, had manufactured the Alkahest. The ally who had used Lee Ah-rang to stop Lee Ji-eun from behind when she tried to force a marriage with Yoo Ji-tae. When she announced she was opening a restaurant yesterday, Yoo Hyun-ah had thought of her as an excellent candidate for primary wife who would support Yoo Ji-tae’s dreams. She had genuinely acknowledged her, even harboring a hint of respect and jealousy somewhere in her heart.
‘…But to think she’d struggle so much with the Magic Cooking License.’
Yoo Hyun-ah clenched her fist. Yes. If it was a lack of ability, then it couldn’t be helped. Human civilization itself had been created by men, and women were fundamentally beings who merely utilized that civilization on top of it. If one recognized their shortcomings and reflected on them, that could even be considered feminine. But not being ashamed of those shortcomings was a sin.
“Not only is she whining, she’s even causing Yoo Ji-tae-ssi worry!? And she still wants to stay by his side with that kind of attitude?!”
Yoo Hyun-ah crumpled the paper in her hand.
“How disappointing, Hermes.”
Thud. She threw the crumpled paper into the trash can.
“You’re disqualified as a wife.”
Yoo Hyun-ah pulled up a list of women who would suit Yoo Ji-tae.
“Yoo Ji-tae-ssi deserves a more beautiful, stronger, and wiser wife.”
Scratch. She scrolled down the list.
*****
“What do I do now, really.”
Now I was the only one left. Everyone else was fully immersed in cooking. I glanced at Lee Se-rin and saw her wearing an apron, casting magic on the stove. When the magic activated, everything within a twenty-meter radius burst into flames, and the meat began twisting in apparent agony, screaming.
“Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieek!!! I want to liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!!!”
Suddenly, a voice rang out from the speakers in the practical exam hall.
-“Lee Se-rin. You’ve burned away the demonic beast’s soul remaining in the meat using flame-attribute magic. If you had cooked it as is, the beast’s spirit would have possessed the taster’s body. Five bonus points.”
“Thank you!”
My mouth fell open naturally. She was this skilled, yet she still hadn’t passed? I looked at the remaining exam time.
[64 : 04]
The practical exam, originally two hours long, now had about one hour remaining. What should I do? The theme was a single meal. That meant rice and side dishes and all that. But I couldn’t even move the rice. …No. Even if I could move it, there was no time left to cook. Only one hour. There was only one dish I could possibly make.
“It’s over.”
If I failed like this, I would have wasted both money and effort. Then what about living expenses? Would I have to sell the commercial building? “Should I just run away?” Buy a quiet mansion in the countryside with the four billion won from selling it and hide there. Live alone, eat, and die—
-The grace period is three years.
“Ah. Right.”
Yoo Hyun-ah had said she would come for me in three years. No matter what, the waiting period was only three years. After three years, I would have to live as Yoo Hyun-ah had said. Two blind dates a day, mandatory marriage twice a year… and mixing bodies with people I didn’t even know… and donating sperm too.
‘…If it’s only three years anyway, should I just give up now and live as I’m told?’
‘Since I’ll have to live while donating sperm later anyway.’
Bang! The meat Lee Se-rin had been burning exploded, scattering chunks of flesh everywhere. A piece that fell beside me had its fascia split open and began muttering.
“I… I want to live… I’m going to live… I don’t want to die….”
Saying that, it began crawling like a worm.
“Since I was born… I want to live as I please… As long as I’m alive… I want to live….”
A cleaner in full-body protective gear entered the exam hall, stomped the scattered chunks of meat to death with their feet, and put them in a trash bag.
“I’m going to live… I’m going to live… I’m going to live….”
Feeling somehow pitiful, I picked up the piece of meat and hid it in my embrace. By the time the cleaner finished cleaning and left, the meat in my arms was already dead.
“…….”
‘Of course. That’s how it would be.’
‘Since I was born, I’d want to live happily. It’s only natural to want to live as I please.’
“And I’m still alive.”
And in my hand was an SS-rank skill. Three years was quite a long time.
“I see.”
Only then did I truly understand why I disliked Yoo Hyun-ah’s proposal. It wasn’t simply because I was afraid of women. Of course, that was part of it, but it wasn’t the only reason.
I was afraid of the situation where I would hurt others and get hurt in return. As a child, I was never allowed anything except what my mother commanded. So when I was punished, I had no choice but to accept it silently. When my mother pressed a hot iron to my thigh, I forced myself to smile. I was terrified of getting scolded even more. To me back then, humans were leather dolls filled with malice. So I did my best not to provoke them unnecessarily, living each day as if walking through a minefield, holding my breath.
For twenty years like that, I believed I could never be loved by anyone. But that wasn’t true. Several people appeared who genuinely worried about me. Even they all said the same thing. But even when I saw such people, my body wouldn’t obey me properly, so I worried I might treat them coldly without meaning to, and forced myself to smile. I didn’t want to treat people who showed me goodwill poorly. That was what my mother had done to me.
To someone like me, Yoo Hyun-ah’s proposal was utterly terrifying. If I met countless women, some would like me and some would hate me. I might accidentally misjudge someone who liked me and hurt them. I might tell someone who loved me that I didn’t like them and hurt them. I might misunderstand someone who liked me as trying to kill me, yell at them, corner them, and end up making them sad. I absolutely didn’t want to do that. I didn’t want to live every day worrying about such things. If I lived that way, someday I might become someone who rejected and hurt people who showed me goodwill without a second thought. I didn’t want to become someone like my mother. If possible, I wanted to live alone. I was sick of both hurting others and getting hurt.
“…Let’s try a little harder.”
I looked at the piece of meat in my hand. This could also be considered a type of ingredient.
“Come to think of it, pasta could count as a single meal too.”
As soon as I said that, my Hephaestus immediately recommended a suitable recipe.
[Craftable]
Hephaestus’s Pasta (S)
Incidentally, here one had to make the noodles from scratch, and the flour was a special variety called Celestial White Wheat, imbued with magical power. Each sack weighed 500 kilograms.
“…Let’s give it a try.”
A good method had come to mind. A method I hadn’t thought of because my attention had been stolen by the other examinees’ performances.
*****
When Yoo Ji-tae began moving, Lee Se-rin gave him a surprised look.
“He’s finally moving. But it’s too la—huh?”
Lee Se-rin’s pupils trembled as she watched Yoo Ji-tae’s actions. The other examinees also had their attention stolen for a moment.
“…That disgusting woman!”
He was scooping flour into a bowl and moving it little by little. In that case, the weight of the flour in the bowl was about twenty kilograms.
“…Disgusting bitch…!”
“Aren’t you ashamed?!”
“Are you going to act all coy like that in front of your husband later too?!”
Yoo Ji-tae, who had been sweating profusely, hunched his shoulders at the sudden barrage of insults, then took a deep breath. After muttering to himself several times, he barely managed to raise his head and shout.
“Fuck off!”
Right after saying that, he immediately lowered his head again under the flood of stares.