3rd Grade.
3rd Grade.
The buildup was over.
Yesterday, I'd deliberately left Dad's wallet in the car before coming upstairs.
Dad was right outside my door, so I cranked a song loud to cover the sound of crying and started blowing up balloons as fast as I could.
Because today was Dad's birthday.
To sell the act that I was sulking, I'd purged every single Dad song from my playlist.
Inflating balloons by mouth was hell, but my lungs were sturdier than the average person's, so this much was doable.
I felt like I'd never properly celebrated Dad's birthday before, so I'd planned this whole thing on a grand scale, but it was way tougher than I expected.
I was pumping up letter-shaped balloons that matched Dad's initials with an inflator while blowing up other balloons with my mouth at the same time. Felt like respiratory failure was imminent, but I didn't have much time.
All I'd done so far today was wish him a happy birthday in the morning and make seaweed soup...
Dad had no clue what I was planning...
If I dragged this out too long, Dad—who was probably crying in Mom's room—looked like he'd sink into a full-on depression.
"Ugh... so fucking hard..."
Panting, I hung something like a banner across the room and put up every drawing I'd ever done of Dad.
And the gift, after a whole lot of deliberation: matching couple bracelets with mine and Dad's initials.
They're absurdly expensive—the kind you can't just go find.
I arranged candles in a heart shape on the floor, finished decorating with roses, then cracked the door open to check the living room. Dad wasn't there.
"Dad!"
The house was quiet, so I went upstairs, but he wasn't there either.
Sensing the gravity of the situation, I called Dad while tearing through every corner of the house. Then I heard a phone ringing. I followed the sound, and it was just Dad's phone, ringing in his room.
"Screwed."
I called everyone I could think of in case Dad was with one of them, but they all said they didn't know.
I called Lee Jin-seok right away.
"Is Dad there?!"
-"No? What's going on?"
"I can't find Dad... Do you know Deputy Director Kim Dong-hoon's number? I want to know if Dad left the apartment building..."
-"I'll call him. Hang on a moment."
"Okay!"
He said Dad never left the apartment building.
Had I gone too far—gotten so into my act that I'd set this whole disaster in motion...?
I went outside and checked which floor the elevator was stopped on.
There was a party at the pool on the 40th floor; the elevator was sitting there.
I rushed over and frantically searched the area, but Dad was nowhere. I let out a sigh, thinking I'd ruined everything, and headed back up. The elevator doors opened.
"...Si-yoon? What's up?"
Dad was standing there, both hands full of grocery bags stuffed with all my favorite foods.
"....."
"...Si-yoon?"
"...Do you have any idea how long I looked for you?"
"...I messed up again, didn't I... I'm sorry..."
"Haa... No, it's fine. Come in."
Dad walked slowly into the apartment, glancing at me for my reaction.
Still... it's his birthday. I should smile.
I cracked a grin, turned around, and tugged on his sleeve.
"...Huh?"
I gave him a kiss on the cheek, then grabbed his arm and pulled him into my room.
Thankfully, the candles were still burning.
"Happy birthday."
"Si-yoon..."
Something surged up inside him, and his eyes instantly reddened.
"Seriously... I got this ready so fast... and then you disappeared."
"Haha... sorry..."
"Is that funny?!"
"No!"
I pointed a finger at the drawings around the room.
"That's the earliest image I remember of you."
The young dad I'd seen from inside the incubator had worn a sad expression.
"And when you kept flipping me over—you kept telling me to flip over, and I thought I was gonna die from exhaustion."
I pointed at another drawing as I talked.
"And the first time I called you 'Dad.'"
The look on Dad's face was full of hope, his smile saying he could forget the whole world when he looked at me.
There was Dad, smiling like that—no other emotion but happiness to be seen.
Inside all those many drawings still lined up were the countless expressions of Dad as seen through my eyes.
The look he had when I first touched the piano at kindergarten...
The look on his face the first time he showed me Mom's picture...
After I beat up Ji-hoon and got chewed out by Dad for the first time ever.
The face he made, crying while watching me munch on snacks lying in my room.
The furious smile he wore when he caught me dropping 600,000 won on Maple Leaf Game.
I'd drawn every image of Dad that remains crystal-clear in my memory.
Dad sniffled and started crying, then wiped his eyes and looked at each drawing one by one.
And the last one.
'749'—done specially in oil paints.
-Dad's expression right now.
It was a painting of my room, and Dad crying like a child in the middle of it.
And right then, Dad—exactly as I'd drawn him... was crying in that exact same way.
I handed him the cake.
A cake printed with a photo of me and Dad together.
"Dad, you cry way too much..."
"Hahaha... sorry..."
"This is your gift."
He set the cake down for a moment, and I clasped the bracelet around his wrist.
Then I showed him my own wrist, wearing the matching bracelet.
"Ta-da—couple bracelets."
Dad kept crying, tears dripping down for the longest time. He touched my bracelet, then pulled me into a tight hug.
I said words I'd never once uttered to anyone in my life as Kang Han-seong—the kind of words so cheesy they make your skin crawl.
"I love you..."
"Yeah... I love you more..."
After we'd re-confirmed the father-daughter bond, Dad and I snapped a photo.
He took the ingredients he'd bought and started cooking with eyes still swollen.
I'd meant to clear up my room in the meantime, but Dad kept insisting we clean it together, so I just sat at the table and waited for him.
"Wow... Si-yoon, so what you said earlier was a lie?"
"What part?"
"About being disappointed in me earlier."
"That was for real, though."
"Ah...? Sorry..."
"Ahaha, it's only about ten percent genuine. I'm not disappointed. Everybody sees money differently."
"So should I not buy that sports car?"
"I do kinda want to ride in one."
"Then let's get one later, when Si-yoon's older~"
Dad's car had always stirred up controversy.
He'd been driving the exact same car for almost seventeen years. People always had something to say—why so frugal, or was it some kind of image thing.
You'd wonder who else earns ungodly money like Dad and drives the same car for seventeen years, right? But.
That car is the one Mom gifted to him.
So... everyone who runs their mouth about it is basically pulling a "Talulla" on themselves.
Which means if a supercar ever does get bought, there's a high probability it'll eventually become my car.
Dad would just keep repairing and tuning that old car of his and keep driving it forever.
Dad finished cooking, brought the candles over from my room, and set them on the table, still lit.
He turned off the apartment lights. The table suddenly had real atmosphere, and Dad brought out some wine.
"You know I can't drink, right?"
"Don't worry~ it's non-alcoholic. The kind your mom used to drink with you."
Hearing that Mom—who had about the same alcohol tolerance as me—used to drink it was more reassuring than anything else in the world.
I sliced into my steak and enjoyed the mood with Dad. He kept staring intently at the bracelet I'd put on him.
Once he figured out what brand it was, he flinched and spoke to me.
"...How did you get this?"
"Talked to Da-yeon's mom and reserved it a year ago."
"Wow..."
"I can't wear this to school, you know. Also, build me a jewelry cabinet on the second floor."
"Can't you just use your mom's...? There's still some empty space in it..."
"Mom's stuff is way too flashy."
"Well, yeah... your mom hated that cabinet too..."
After we'd finished eating, Dad went in to clean my room.
And he took another long look at my drawings.
"I'd love to turn these into a book or art collection... I'll have to ask."
Dad spotted me washing the dishes, carefully set the drawing down, and rushed over at top speed.
"Dad'll do that!"
"No, I'll do it. Go show Mom the drawings."
"...Okay."
I powered through the dishes fast, then went to tidy my room, but it was already completely clean.
I went upstairs to the second floor and, sure enough: Dad, who'd pretended to be totally fine in front of me, had been crying again. Looked like he was only now starting to put things in order.
I quietly closed the door and headed back down.
After Dad's birthday party, the days passed, one after another—uniform, ordinary, straightforward—and before I knew it, I was just five days away from winter break at age fifteen.
My height seemed to have hit a wall; I was growing very, very slowly from 160 cm.
Da-yeon was 8 cm taller than me.
Tae-oh—maybe he was a late bloomer—had only just now started shooting up fast.
As for Park Ji-hoon... well, he'd been eating like a savage for years, so he'd grown steadily and now towered over me by 25 cm.
And right now, I was living through a scenario that reminded me way too much of elementary school.
Ahead of me, the entire student body sat in the auditorium. I walked slowly up to the stage.
Cheers erupted all around. The new first-years who'd just come in were already clapping, totally mesmerized by my appearance.
"Did I say I was running for president?"
"".....""
"Hey, you runts cheering at the front—pipe down when I'm talking, and I warned you not to vote for me."
I tucked my hair—which had grown clear down to my waist—behind my ear and kept going.
"Haa... Do not vote for me. I didn't even apply, but three hundred people put my name down. Are you kidding me? The entire school isn't even a thousand students. I'm not your buddy, so don't vote for me."
I stepped down from the stage and ran straight at Park Ji-hoon, who was smirking at the front, and kicked him.
Then I plopped down next to his sprawled-out body like it was the most natural thing in the world.
"".....""
Voting was done by phone, with results shown live on the huge screen.
'This isn't Produce 101, what the hell...'
There were seven candidates, but... maintaining a crushing lead: first place.
Yeah... haa... that's me.
'If it was gonna be like this, did I even need to stand on that stage explaining myself?'
Total student body: 940. So why the hell did 750 votes go to me...
The previous president, standing at the front looking flustered, called my name.
I sighed and slowly walked back up to the stage.
I could see the crowd packing the auditorium getting ready to burst into cheers, but I had zero intention of playing along.
"I don't know what you all want from me... but don't regret voting for me."
And just like that, middle school was turning into an exact repeat of elementary school.
"Si-yoon?"
"Huh?"
"President... uh... congratulations?"
"Haa... thanks."
Dad and I were on Ulleungdo with Da-yeon's family to ring in the new year.
"Why Ulleungdo, of all places...?" Don't ask me. I came with the mindset of just eating some spicy squid sashimi myself...
Lee Jin-seok watched the sunrise and wrapped his arms around Kim Seon-hwa. Dad wrapped his arms around me.
After enjoying the sunrise for a brief moment, we settled in and started in on the sashimi.
Kim Seon-hwa, Ga-yeon, and Da-yeon didn't seem too keen on raw fish.
So only four of us—Jeong-yeon included—were eating the sashimi.
Looking at the flower-spotted shrimp on the table... man, I had no idea why it cost that much, but it was sweet, all right.
Glancing next to us, where someone was eating those expensive shrimp deep-fried, I felt a pang of regret; it seemed like they had no idea what a real shrimp was supposed to taste like.
Then again, I can't taste alcohol either... so, whatever.
Thinking about it, maybe going your whole life never tasting something you don't know about is better than knowing the taste of something you love but physically can't have.
When I become an adult, I'd love it if my tolerance could stretch to at least one can of beer—no more, no less. But...
Mom once tried to eat beer with a spoon and passed out... so the odds aren't good.
Getting reincarnated again might be faster.