Audition.
Audition.
I stayed in the art room until school let out so I could work on the coloring skills I still lacked.
Right after Korean, the next class was my homeroom teacher's math class. Once the teacher heard what was going on, they came to pick me up.
"Si-yoon, time to go."
"Okay."
I'd been about to leave anyway since the painting was almost finished, but Go Min-su, the art teacher, was silently staring at the picture I'd painted.
Teacher Go Min-su had assumed I was a once-in-a-generation talent, then realized that wasn't the case.
The moment I got to my feet, Teacher Go Min-su snapped out of it and pulled out a fresh box of watercolor pencils.
"This is a present~"
"Oh! Thank you~"
"It belongs to the school anyway, so don't mention it. And if you ever have more questions, come by on a day without classes, just like today."
Teacher Go Min-su gave me a copy of their schedule.
"Thank you."
"And come back when you use up those colored pencils~ I'll give you more, got it? You definitely have to come back~"
"Yep."
I was struggling to hold the huge case, so my homeroom teacher carried it for me.
"Si-yoon, your father's waiting."
"He is?"
With my homeroom teacher guiding me, I headed to the office.
In one corner of the office, Dad was waiting and signing autographs for another teacher.
The instant he spotted me, he waved and broke into a radiant smile.
A little later, I was sitting among actors I hadn't seen in ages.
Kang Hui-seon kept handing me cola and popcorn.
"Is it good?"
"Yeah."
"Wow... Si-yoon gets prettier by the day."
"You're pretty too."
"Really!?"
"It's a lie, but I'll say it anyway."
"......"
At that, Actor Kim Ha-neul and Actor Song Il-seong laughed.
The director delivered thanks to each and every producer, then wrapped up by thanking us.
Director Yoo Dae-yeon wasn't thanking us for winning an award, but for seeing a single project through to the end together.
"Our editors will have to suffer just a little longer! Everyone, thank you so, so much for all your hard work!"
The applause marked the end of the speeches, and the movie began.
I hadn't realized it during the monitoring sessions, but on the screen, it looked spectacular.
The film opened with an oppressive atmosphere.
Actors fleeing from zombies, a breathless chase scene unfolded.
The hunted and the hunters looked like they were teetering on a knife's edge.
To film that scene, countless zombie extras had been run into the ground.
As if to vindicate every ounce of that human sacrifice, the director let the footage speak for itself.
Before I knew it, my first scene was up, and Dad swallowed hard.
In front of the panting extras, I crept slowly out of the darkness, cautious as a frightened child.
My face, radiating an innocence that knew nothing of the world, and the moment I drove a knife into someone's skull were shrouded by the moonlit shadows.
Probably thinking I was coming off as a complete villain, Dad made no effort to hide his dismay.
I watched his reaction while shoving popcorn into my mouth, and Min-ji smiled the second she saw my puffed-up cheeks.
Shots of the same scene captured from multiple angles appeared on screen.
Almost like a signal that there were still undecided parts and sections that needed reworking.
Whenever a gruesome scene came on, Dad, who was right next to me, frantically covered my eyes with his hand.
"Move it."
"No! It's way too violent."
"It's less violent than Alien. I've seen all six of them, and I know everything there is to know."
"......"
Dad's hand dropped away, as if on reflex.
The cut shown for overall monitoring purposes was deeply satisfying.
The moment the screening ended, a storm of applause erupted.
The director asked for our opinions.
It was more of a formality anyway, and while everyone else was nodding and saying how much fun it was and how excited they were, I chimed in about several specific scenes.
Especially the parts that felt pointless. The swimming scene, in particular, came off as all style and zero substance.
It was a flashy, spectacular scene that showcased me, but it was awkward and disjointed from the context.
As I engaged the director in this back-and-forth, everyone started chiming in with more opinions one by one, and a heated debate took off.
Judging by the smile on the director's face while he answered, he seemed deeply satisfied with how things were going.
In the end, the director took note of the opinions that aligned with his own thoughts, jotting them down as he gave his replies.
"Truly... thank you all so much for helping out right to the very end!"
With a final round of applause, we all headed out for the wrap party.
Maybe my dad was more of a social butterfly than I thought: he politely declined the alcohol, but he kept the conversation flowing naturally.
Then again, the man managed to become friends with Lee Jin-seok, who knows nothing but fishing and finance, so Dad is clearly a born social butterfly.
In the middle of all this, as if it were second nature now, Dad was slicing up meat for me without even looking. Director Yoo Dae-yeon, who'd had a lot to drink, came over and once again said to him,
"I am absolutely buying tonight."
"Ahaha. In that case, we'll eat our fill and then some!"
"That's the answer I wanted! Everyone, eat until you burst! Si-yoon, you eat plenty too~"
I gazed at Yoo Dae-yeon, whose face had flushed red from the alcohol and who was soaking up the moment.
This was the movie he'd made purely because he wanted to make it—agonizing, hoping, throwing himself into it body and soul.
Now that the finish line was in sight, Yoo Dae-yeon's expression looked utterly blissful.
It brought back the image of Dad's face the first time he played the piano right in front of me, a long time ago.
Something you did purely because you loved it.
Something you did purely because you wanted it.
An expression of pure enjoyment.
The faces of people staring their own dreams in the eye had all seemed, for the most part, truly happy.
I thought back on my own life—a nuisance to everyone around me, a life that had been about as valuable as a single cigarette.
'Was I ever that happy...?'
The next morning, Beta licked my face.
"......"
The weather outside right now was the kind of weather anyone would call "nice weather."
The light streaming in between the curtains—if only it hadn't been stabbing me right in the eyes, it would've been perfect...
I wanted to close the curtains, but because my arms were short, I just burrowed deeper into Dad's arms instead.
Beta, though, seemed unwilling to allow that and wedged herself in between Dad and me.
Dad started to stir, and thanks to that movement, the hot sunlight lanced through the curtain gap and stabbed right into my eyelids.
"Ugh..."
I tried to pick Beta up and plop her on my head.
Lying down and trying to lift six kilograms of Beta was so strenuous it knocked every last trace of sleep right out of me.
Someone once said that instead of waking up by drinking coffee, you can wake yourself up even better by spilling that coffee while trying to make it...
Therefore, if I can't sleep any longer, I wake up Dad, who's sleeping soundly.
This is my childish interpretation—and my privilege.
"Dad."
"...Mmn."
"I'm hungry."
To be honest, I wasn't hungry. But the moment I say I am, Dad's body reacts like a conditioned reflex and pulls itself upright.
His face might look gentle and harmless, but that ripped, chiseled body of his was reminiscent of Park Gi's physique in the past.
Well, compared to Park Gi's, it's more like impractical, decorative muscle.
"Beta kept waking me up..."
"Hmm? Why would she do thaaaat... ah..."
Dad was about to fall back asleep, but then he must have remembered that I said I was hungry, because he forced himself up.
I stared at Beta and Alpha, then realized it had been more than two weeks since I'd bathed them.
"Come here."
Alpha and Beta came over as if they understood me.
"Wanna get washed?"
Alpha bolted at top speed. Beta, for whatever happy reason, burrowed right into my arms begging to be petted.
Beta's height when lying down was almost the same as mine.
At this point, we're definitely dealing with a lion, not a cat.
The instant I stepped into the living room, Alpha followed right on my heels.
"Dad."
Wearing an apron, Dad turned around at my call.
"Yeah?"
"You know we're watching the movie today, right?"
"Ah!!! That's today!"
Dad had asked CEO Jang Seong-man to arrange it, so we were going to watch the movie I'm in together with Da-yeon, Lee Jin-seok, and my other acquaintances.
Kim Seon-hwa stayed home to look after Jeong-yeon and Ga-yeon.
Dad's cooking skills were better than most of the people you see on Neotube.
As if he were a chef himself.
"Si-yoon."
"Hm?"
"Film me a bit."
Because of me, Dad had stopped holding most of his late-night concerts, and his fans had been hounding Jang Seong-man about it.
So Jang Seong-man had pleaded with Dad to at least film a vlog if he wasn't going to perform.
And that's how Dad started vlogging.
I turned on the vlog using Dad's phone.
"Hello."
Only my sleepy voice came through, and on screen, all you could see was Beta sitting on the dining table.
- Si-yoon!!!
- Healing my soul with Si-yoon's morning voice...
When I stroked Beta with my hand, my hand looked so small that you could truly grasp just how big she was.
- Show us your dad!
When I lifted the phone and aimed it at Dad while he was cooking, the chat window went wild.
- Aaaaaah!!
- omgggg... Ji-ho... haaah
- Healing to start the morning.
- He's married now but... look at how much better his body got... wow... those back muscles are seriously gorgeous...
Dad glanced at the phone filming him, gave a quick greeting, and then zeroed back in on the cooking.
"No... you said you were the camera crew."
"Sorry..."
"If you were gonna do this, I would've just done the stream myself."
- She's always welcome.
- Uncle too...
- Si-yoon's movie is out today!
I read the comments and spoke.
"I'm eight, so I can't watch it... feels a little unfair."
- Si-yoon, do you play Maple Leaf Game by any chance?
Just then, a sudden question popped in, and to make sure no one found out I was Yuja, I answered fast.
"What's that?"
Just as I was fending off people growing suspicious because of my voice,
Dad asked me for the phone, maybe because he had a moment to spare.
On my way over, my reflection caught in the mirror-finish refrigerator.
- Whoa... what was that just now?
- Seriously, way too pretty...
- Honestly, Kim Ji-ho's visuals are insane too, but next to his daughter he's a total squid...
I was wearing yellow chick pajamas, and because they were oversized, they fluttered around me as I walked.
I handed the phone to Dad, and while I was away getting Alpha and Beta's treats, Dad pointed the camera at me on the stream.
I covered my face with my hands and said,
"Why don't you film your own face?"
"I have to capture how pretty my daughter is~"
"Hmph... The movie already captured plenty."
When I lowered my arms without a fuss, Dad gave an awkward laugh.
Alpha and Beta were staring fixedly at nothing but my hand holding the treats, so I crouched down.
"Beta, you woke me up today, so you wait."
Even when I set the treats on the floor, Beta stayed perfectly still.
"Myaang..."
I fed the treats in my hand to Alpha first, and then gave them to Beta.