Recon Battalion.
Recon Battalion.
Hell Week training ended and I got my permanent unit assignment.
Day one, the unit members were already messing with me.
"Hello?"
"Pil-seung!"
"Whoa~ listen to the military bearing on this one! Hey!!! Sang-yeop! We got a sharp one here!"
That much was just standard military stuff, the kind of thing you expect...
But once the recruit training period was over, they started baring their teeth for real.
They said all the hazing and abuse was gone.
Bullshit. From cleaning the latrines to doing the dishes, I got hit with every kind of abuse there was, everywhere the officers couldn't see.
They'd try to talk me into it with that "Would you rather do dishes as a sergeant?" crap—not really persuasion, more like a con.
Fine. I could understand the dishes. But then they pulled something anyone could see was straight-up abuse: they force-fed me.
Force-feeding is what they call making you eat food against your will, and honestly, for me that was a total jackpot.
I devoured all kinds of frozen food like it was the most delicious thing ever, and the seniors who'd been looking forward to it just shook their heads.
"Ji-hoon!"
"Private. Park Ji-hoon!"
"That latrine over there's plugged up."
Usually, two new guys transferred in together to share the bottom rung, but I'd followed just my platoon leader and arrived alone, so I ended up the one and only precious little rookie.
And more than anything, that one Sergeant Han—I couldn't fucking stand that bastard.
He acted like he was Mr. Popular, poking his nose in everywhere, sidling up to people acting all friendly, and loved putting people down.
In contrast, my two direct seniors were absolute angels.
They said that once their seniority built up, they were going to wipe out all the abuse for real...
They'd take me aside and vent about things.
They said they were glad I was smart.
If I'd been a total deadweight, they didn't want to have to chew me out, but then the backlash from above would land all the cursing on them, or something like that.
I finished the day's duties and lay down to rest, and my direct senior, Private First Class Kim Sang-yeop, came over.
"Good work today~"
"Thank you, sir."
"What'd you do on the outside?"
"I trained, sir!"
"Isn't that true of pretty much everyone here?"
"I was prepping for combat sports for a while, sir."
"Oh? You serious?"
"Yes, sir."
Private First Class Kim Sang-yeop suddenly started feeling up my body and then nodded.
"Whoa... I knew you could run, but you're solid as a rock. You not gonna shower? Let's go shower together~"
"Yes, sir!"
I took off my clothes to get into the shower room, and Private First Class Kim Sang-yeop went quiet.
He flinched when he saw the tattoos.
"What the hell...? Whoa... you little shit... what's with the surgical scars...?"
"I played rough when I was young and got hurt, sir."
"... I'm curious how playing rough leads to that, but I won't ask."
"Yessir."
Then Private First Class Kim Sang-yeop started looking me over.
"You natural?"
"Yes, sir."
"Whoa... no way, you're telling me you've got a body like this just eating chow-hall slop...? Even after quitting the gym for over four months? You're seriously insane. You want to hit the gym together starting tomorrow?"
"Understood, sir!"
When I got inside the shower room, my other direct senior, Private First Class Park, locked his eyes on my body.
The next day.
I was working out in the gym when Sergeant Han walked in.
"Excuse me."
"Excuse me? Why's a private lying around in here...? Hey! Who brought this guy in!?"
"Sir! Private First Class Kim Sang-yeop, sir!"
"...? Is that right? PFC... you serious? You seriously brought him? Unbelievable, you dipshit..."
"I'm sorry, sir!"
In the icy atmosphere, I paused my bench press and racked the bar.
It already pissed me off that even privates first class had to wear long sleeves to work out. Apparently there was some unwritten rule that privates weren't allowed in the gym at all.
Thanks to Private First Class Kim Sang-yeop snapping to attention, I naturally came to attention and sat up too.
Since forever, the standard rule was that when a corporal made a scene, a sergeant either stopped it or just watched, but I couldn't stand that Sergeant Han bastard right to the end.
Just then, Corporal Ji Sang-hoon came over and explained the situation.
"Ah, Sang-yeop got permission from our enlistment group. They told us the new kid was incredible at working out, so we brought him along."
"Oh yeah?"
Sergeant Han clapped Private First Class Kim Sang-yeop on the shoulder as he nodded.
"You should've said so earlier. Made things awkward for nothing~"
What a dipshit. If they'd told him in advance, I could see it plain as day—he'd be running his mouth behind their backs asking why they were even bringing it up now.
"I'm sorry, sir!"
Private First Class Kim Sang-yeop really knew how to do military life right.
Whether it was inborn or thanks to military hazing conditioning, I couldn't say...
"Nah, nothing to be sorry about~"
Nobody actually liked that prick of a sergeant; everyone around him was just pretending to like him.
The downside of a special forces unit was...
Their pride in their own fitness and training was on a whole different level compared to other units...
The sergeant started working out, and maybe he wanted to establish dominance over me, because he went at it full blast from the start.
That night, Private First Class Kim Sang-yeop came up to me.
"Watch out for Sergeant Han. Word is he was prepping for the UFU pro mixed martial arts circuit on the outside."
"Is that so, sir?"
"You're twenty—did you get into college before you came?"
"Yes, sir. I enlisted right after I got in and took a leave of absence."
"Where'd you get in?"
"Goguryeo University, sir."
""Seriously!?""
My direct seniors, who'd been lying on their bunks listening, all turned and stared at me.
"You little shit, I knew you were fucking smart."
How many times in my life had I ever heard someone call me smart...
Back when I was Jae-hyeong, I'd never once in my life been called smart.
In my Ji-hoon life I'd heard it somewhat often.
It's just... Kim Si-yoon... Kang Han-seong...
It was just that this twisted, fucked-up connection went wrong.
When I was under Kang Han-seong, I got called a blockhead bastard countless times.
And this life, Kim Si-yoon... fuck...
Goguryeo University...
It was one of Korea's three top universities, along with Hanguk University and Osae University.
Honestly, it was exactly what you'd call a fucking elite school.
In short, I... was a smart bastard.
I was accomplished in both the literary and martial arts...
While I was busy being smug by myself, the seniors wrapped up their conversation and lay down to sleep.
Come to think of it, now that I was at my permanent unit I could eat my fill, but protein was still really lacking.
I went over to Private First Class Park, who was on the phone with his girlfriend.
"Marine Park Dong-cheol, sir, may I make one phone call?"
"Huh? Yeah? Hang on."
Private First Class Park said his goodbyes for a moment and then handed me his phone.
"Thank you, sir."
"Use it, and just leave it by your bunk when you're done."
"Understood, sir."
I was about to text my mom, but I sent a message to Kim Si-yoon instead.
- This is my unit. Please contact me.
- Go fuck yourself.
That fucking bitch was doing this one hundred percent on purpose.
- This is my unit. Please contact me.
- Yeah, buzz off, baldy~
I'd felt this way ever since the past life, honestly. I wanted to kill her in the most extreme way.
I really should've... done her in back then when she was in the hospital.
- It's your son. Please call me.
- Ack, can this bastard not use his phone in his unit? Dumbass, marine! Special forces! You talked all that crap and the welfare's garbage.
- Phone calls are permitted after 1800 hours.
- Yeah~ fuck off~ tomorrow I'm hitting the club with Da-yeon and shaking my ass like crazy~
"This. Fucking bitch..."
In the chilled silence of the room, I realized that none of the seniors around me were actually asleep.
"I'm sorry, sirs."
"Ah... no, it's fine."
Just then, a call came in from Kim Si-yoon.
-"What, well, why'd you call?"
"You enjoying fucking with a soldier? You piece of shit?"
-"Hang up?"
"Sorry..."
-"What is it, then."
"Buy me some protein."
-"Fuck off, am I your wallet?"
"Buy me some."
-"Yeah, fuck off~"
"Come on, just buy me some!"
-"Give me the address."
"You're gonna buy it for me anyway and you're playing this hard to get. Cute."
-"...?"
"Sorry."
I could feel Kim Si-yoon's deep, simmering rage through the receiver, so I led with an apology.
-"You managing army life okay?"
"The seniors are all fucking kind, sir."
-"They next to you?"
"Nope, they're not asleep yet."
-"Put 'em on."
"...You serious?"
-"Gotta boost the morale of the subordinates~"
"Oooh~"
I looked at Private First Class Kim Sang-yeop and spoke.
"She's asking to speak with you, sir."
"Me?"
"Up to Marine Park Dong-cheol, sir—all of you."
""Who is it?""
"It's Kim Si-yoon."
""...... What!?""
I switched to speakerphone, and Kim Si-yoon's voice rang out.
-"Hey, how old are you guys?"
""Holy shit...""
"I already put it on speaker."
-"Oh yeah? Hello? I'm Ji-hoon's secret girlfriend, Kim Si-yoon. He doesn't like it if people find out, so please keep it a secret!"
"Don't say crazy shit... I warned you."
-"Oh my?"
"Oh my, my ass..."
We always talked to each other like that naturally, but Kim Si-yoon really was famous.
The seniors didn't know what to do with themselves.
"Is that... really Kim Si-yoon?"
-"Is there a fake one too?"
Sometimes when Kim Si-yoon talked all feminine, it made my skin crawl like I had thorns pricking me all over.
If people knew her real self, you'd have a hard time finding anyone who wasn't the craziest bastard on earth willing to go near Kim Si-yoon.
Kim Si-yoon chatted away laughing, said she was coming to visit the following week, and asked what I wanted to eat.
Time passed, and the package Kim Si-yoon sent arrived, except this crazy bitch didn't know the meaning of moderation and sent a hundred and twenty tubs of protein powder alone.
And on every single tub, there was a photo stuck to it...
A message saying "Please take good care of our Ji-hoon" and a photo of her taken wearing my military uniform.
No, I mean... fuck... the fact that the bastard who knows her own public profile better than anyone pulled this shit...
It was clearly intended to knock me down a peg.
Still, thanks to that, I could now use the gym without having to walk on eggshells.
Except for the fact that this Sergeant Han bastard started being a nuisance...
"Smashing back today?"
"Yes, sir."
"So, is the rumor true?"
"Which rumor are you referring to, sir?"
"That you're Kim Si-yoon's boyfriend."
"No, sir. We're just friends."
"Yeah, I mean, with a face as ugly as yours, it makes no sense for you to be Kim Si-yoon's boyfriend, right?"
"...Yes, sir."
"Ack, I'm joking. But seriously, if you're not her boyfriend, is it okay if I tap that?"
Sergeant Han. This guy... instead of making me angry, he was just kind of bewildering.
"I'm kidding~ Look at the kid getting all flustered~ Tonight's side dish is Kim Si-yoon. Everybody stay out of the latrine~"
Sergeant Han pulled out the photo from his pocket—the one where he'd cut away my picture so only Kim Si-yoon's face was left.
When I stared at him, Sergeant Han's expression instantly went stony.
"What are you looking at?"
"I'm sorry, sir."
"Right. Can you make a call today?"
"They said no calls, sir."
"Bullshit, nice try~ I'll just do it myself~ Sang-yeop, bring me the phone from your quarters."
Just then, Corporal Ji came over, smiling.
"Hey, I don't think that's right."
Sergeant Han gave a greasy grin and looked at Corporal Ji.
"You little shit, what's not right~ you're trying to make me out to be some creep? I'm just saying hi~ But if I rub one out while listening to her voice, is that sexual harassment?"
He was spewing this filthy shit as if he thought he was being funny.
Well, if the other guy crosses the line, I might as well cross it right back...
Before I even came to the army, I'd already decided that if I saw that kind of crap, I was just going to let loose.
"Hey now, Sergeant Han, sir, aren't you a bit out of her league? You'd be better matched stepping outside and finding a whore who spreads her legs for you~ ahaha"
""......""
In the frozen silence, I kept smiling as I spoke.
"I mean really, meeting a woman who spreads her legs for just anyone would be a 'perfect' match for someone of Sergeant Han's caliber. Hahaha!"
Sergeant Han slowly turned his head toward me.
"What... did you say?"
"Huh? You hard of hearing too? Ahack. Stop strutting around like you own the place and go wedge yourself in a corner... you tiny-dicked runt."
I shrugged and said it to him loud and clear.
Sergeant Han moved to hit me, and the others scrambled to hold him back.
Their reaction speeds were worthy of a special forces unit.
"This little runt of a bastard, have you lost your mind."
Sergeant Han abruptly started peeling off his tank top.
On his forearm was a little tattoo of a cat.
"What's with the cat? Kyahahahack! I take back what I just said. A passing stray cat might fall for you... kchh."
Just then, Private First Class Kim Sang-yeop shouted at me.
"Hey! Have you lost your mind?"
I shrugged and kept going.
"You gotta do shit that earns respect to get respect. You got nothing, but you lean on your rank and strut around like you're hot shit. Dumbass."
"You fucking bastard!"
Sergeant Han.
Still, his strength must've been legit, because he shook off the other seniors and threw a feather-light punch at my face, so I let it land.
Smack!
As expected... Kim Si-yoon's light, playful hits with that taser-gun bullshit with her left hand stung way worse.
She acts like it doesn't hurt when she gets hit, but she's got solid bones and it seriously fucking hurts.
Sergeant Han's punch was so light it had me thinking stuff like that, so I let out a scoff.
"Tit for tat. Still, since you're a senior, how about I use an open hand?"
I opened my right hand, and lightly pushed aside the guys rushing over to stop me, dodging them.
Then I flicked my hand to take all the force I could out of the palm, and slapped Sergeant Han up across the cheek.
Smack!
Sergeant Han floated in the air for about 1.2 seconds.
Then he slowly lay down on the floor just like that.
"".....""
"Pro my ass, you dipshit. If I'd hit for real you'd be dead... glad I pulled it~ Felt fucking refreshing, kyahaha."
I never really liked thinking things through and then acting.
Someone else always cleaned up the aftermath anyway.
But insubordination was a pretty serious matter in the military, and I got hit with a severe disciplinary action.
It nearly went as far as a demotion and criminal charges, but one phone call from Jong-hyeon settled it with just disciplinary training and a pay cut.
-"Ahack, you dumbass, I knew you'd pull something like this, you little shit, fuck."
"Shut up. Isn't this because of you? Why the fuck did you have to go sticking pictures on everything."
-"Don't make excuses. You know you could've just made a phone call and been done with it, but you went for it because you figured that bastard would keep being a nuisance later."
"Oh... busted."
-"Anyway, I'm coming to see you tomorrow~ with four cuties, myself included~"
"Four? You don't have any friends. And why are you including yourself in that?"
-"Yeah, fuck off~ that's what you can think~"