College Student.
College Student.
Aunt Yua brought Tae-oh in from outside and started drinking.
The two of them were chatting.
Maybe it was because of Kim Tae-oh, or maybe the cocktails she was trying for the first time were that good. Da-yeon drank quite a bit and then started drinking without holding back at all.
Aunt Yua watched Da-yeon.
"Wow... you're drinking a ton, huh?"
"...Huh?"
Da-yeon, her pupils slightly unfocused, smiled, reeking of sweet alcohol, then spread her arms, came over to me, and wrapped me in a hug.
"Si-yooon~"
Yep, Da-yeon's definitely all grown up now.
"Our little Si-yoon's gotten so big, hasn't she? Heheheh..."
I'm not sure who's saying that about who.
Da-yeon tried to bite my shoulder, so I dodged lightly.
"Like a little rice cake~ so white! Chomp"
After spending a while inside the pool area dodging Da-yeon's mouth, I eventually surrendered my left arm to her.
Da-yeon, who'd been clinging to me for quite a while, seemed to get tired. She left a kiss mark on my left arm and then, without a word, went into the bedroom to sleep.
Kim Tae-oh must have been more drunk than I'd thought; he slapped his own cheeks a couple of times, washed his face at the sink, and then went outside.
Aunt Yua, having confirmed that everyone except me had cleared out, flopped down onto the bed.
"Ahh~ I've never even applied for an S-class seat because they're such a waste, but this is why people go on about S-class, S-class~"
Aunt Yua got up from the bed, then, stumbling, probably dead drunk, flung the window wide open.
Aunt Yua swaying to the beat of the EDM...
She barely made it back to the bed, flopped down again, and called for me.
Thanks to the swimsuit, her chest had been fixed in a pretty shape. Gravity had loosened it slightly, and that defenseless sight was the highlight.
'Whoa.'
"Si-yoon."
"Yeah?"
"Wanna have a little chat with your aunt?"
I hadn't touched a drop of alcohol and was planning to go for a swim, but at her words, I plopped myself down on the bed.
"Tae-oh's pretty interested in women, isn't he?"
"I know."
"And he's not impotent either, is he?"
"I know that too."
"What about Da-yeon?"
"She's got a rock-solid professional ethic."
"Ah..."
Even though she was dead drunk, Aunt Yua was surprisingly coherent.
Suddenly, she yanked at my swimsuit like she was about to rip it off, so I quickly lay back.
"...? Are you insane?"
"Our baby~~"
Aunt Yua suddenly hugged me.
"How are you this sharp!?"
Her body was hot and she reeked strongly of alcohol; she'd definitely had a lot to drink.
"Our Si-yoon doesn't seem interested in guys, huh?"
"Me? I guess so?"
"Could it be... you don't like women, do you?"
Ha... like women, she says...
How would a guy with no dick feel sexual desire for a woman?
Honestly, I did think about it once.
Very briefly.
Of course, I'm ruling out sex with men; that's the shittiest of all shitty ideas.
Sex with a woman, well, I don't have the equipment, so I'm not even sure how that would work.
But for me to get aroused looking at a female body, my own body is too much of a fantasy.
Fantasy wasn't some distant thing.
If I look in the bathroom mirror, that's my fantasy...
So, does that mean I don't feel anything?
That's not it either. If anything, I feel things way too intensely, seriously... it was so intense I even looked it up, but let's leave it at that.
The conclusion is, I can say it's neither.
Honestly, if I perceived women as sexual objects, I wouldn't have even tried to touch Da-yeon's chest.
"Hmm... I'm not interested in either, but if I'm pursuing beauty, I suppose I prefer the female form...?"
"...? What are you talking about? Do you like women, or do you like men?"
When I smoothly dodged the question, Aunt Yua smirked slyly and then pinched the most sensitive part of my chest.
In an instant, a goosebump-inducing sensation zinged through my shoulders and lower back, so I smacked Aunt Yua's arm. 'Whap!'
"God, no. Are you insane!?"
"Oh~ our Si-yoon... that's the first time Auntie's seen that expression~"
Aunt Yua grinned slyly and lunged at me.
I'm genuinely sorry to Aunt Yua, who's a bit bigger than me, but I put her to sleep for a moment.
Flump.
I pulled the covers over Aunt Yua, who was snoring away, and ordered striploin jjajang ramyeon over the walkie-talkie.
Then I called Kim Tae-oh in from outside, and we ate together.
"Tae-oh."
When I called him, Kim Tae-oh stopped eating and looked at me.
"How many centimeters is your dick?"
"Pffft!"
"Ah, shit. Gross."
"Are you insane...?"
In that moment, my eyes landed on the ring on Kim Tae-oh's left ring finger.
I knew this bastard didn't turn women away, but I guess he started dating someone the moment he got into university.
"... You got a girlfriend?"
"....."
"Whoa! Whoa! You son of a bitch, isn't that a crime!?"
"I'm an adult now too!"
"No wonder I haven't seen you around lately, you dick. What are you gonna do about Da-yeon?"
"....."
"She'll think you're seeing someone else because she's not attractive."
"....."
"Hmm... Break up with her."
"Fine."
"If you're that hungry for a woman, go have a one-night stand in secret or something. You're making it obvious, you little shit."
"....."
Telling someone to break up with a person they're happily seeing makes me sound like garbage, but.
We've never been sincere when we deal with the opposite sex.
Kim Tae-oh probably just said yes because the other person confessed to him.
Kim Tae-oh's love life...
The painfully predictable situation unfolded in my head.
Obviously, the woman dating Kim Tae-oh is going through absolute hell.
Because by twenty-first-century standards, Kim Tae-oh isn't a real man; he's the scummiest of scum.
Better to be ugly like Park Ji-hoon.
Kim Tae-oh's got a face that looks totally innocent and sharp as a tack.
Since this was also a scouting trip, after I'd filled my stomach with jjajang ramyeon, I gave Aunt Yua a piggyback ride into the room where Da-yeon was.
The next day, Aunt Yua showered with us and silently watched Da-yeon and me, naked.
""....?""
"You don't know that removing body hair is mandatory if you're going to wear a swimsuit?"
"...?"
"Babies, shall we go get your hair removed with Auntie?"
After that day, Da-yeon and I started ignoring Aunt Yua.
Luckily, our parents didn't catch us.
It helped that Jong-hyeon and Kim Tae-oh kept their mouths firmly shut.
And since Da-yeon and I often went out together, Dad and Lee Jin-seok didn't pester us about exactly where we'd been.
The next day.
Since I had classes starting in the afternoon, I ate breakfast and enjoyed Debtor's Forest with Da-yeon.
"Ta-da! I caught a blowfish~"
"Hehe..."
I pulled out an oarfish and showed Da-yeon.
Da-yeon's eyes sparkled when she saw the massive oarfish.
"Whoa..."
"This is 9,000 Bells. Crazy, right?"
"Really?"
The fish we were each holding already dwarfed the size of the characters we controlled.
Holding our Nanten blades, each cradling Alpha and Beta in our arms, as we leaned against each other and enjoyed Debtor's Forest, Dad approached from a distance.
"It's about time to get ready."
"I'm all ready."
"Da-yeon, shall we go have lunch with me?"
"Now...? Ah... yes."
Da-yeon's expression said she wanted to play more, but that was never going to work on Dad.
We put the cats down and followed Dad to the car.
"Is there anything you want to eat?"
"Mm... sushi?"
When Da-yeon and I, both focused on our game, answered Dad half-heartedly, he put on a sulky face. Once I saw that expression, I turned off my Nanten.
Da-yeon doesn't really like raw fish, but she ate a bit of sushi; she liked tuna and salmon way more than I'd expected.
"I kind of want tonkatsu, actually?"
"Oh? Me too, I wanna have tonkatsu instead of sushi."
Dad guided Da-yeon to our regular spot.
It's a place where the tonkatsu is pretty damn expensive, but it's tasty enough to be worth the money you pay.
Both Dad and I have the habit of weighing monetary value drilled deep into our bones.
So any place we frequent absolutely has to be a good restaurant.
As long as it's delicious, we'll become regulars no matter how pricey it is.
The clean interior caught Da-yeon's eye, and the smell raised our expectations.
"Is this your first time here?"
"Yeah!"
"This place is seriously good."
Once we settled into a corner table, a staff member handed us menus.
"Aren't you and Si-yoon going to look?"
"We always order the curry and the rosu katsu."
"Oh... then I'll have the same."
The tonkatsu, a cutlet only slightly bigger than Dad's palm, costs well over 30,000 won, but once you taste it, you'll nod your head without thinking.
When we ordered, they brought us a wooden mortar and pestle filled with sesame seeds, plus a salad on the side.
Da-yeon, who seemed to find it fun, gripped the pestle and ground the sesame.
Five kinds of salt were arranged on a black plate: lemon salt, truffle salt, herb salt, rock salt, and sea salt.
When the white, thick tonkatsu came out and I added lemon salt to my first bite, Da-yeon followed suit exactly.
"Mm!"
Da-yeon's palate is quite refined, and she prefers the natural flavor of the food itself.
Even though it was rosu katsu, the taste didn't feel greasy at all.
No need for the cola sitting beside it.
"Next, olive oil and wasabi~"
Dad put olive oil and wasabi on top of Da-yeon's tonkatsu, and Da-yeon popped it into her mouth.
"Amazing, right? Delicious, isn't it?"
"Wow... seriously delicious. I didn't know tonkatsu could be this good."
"Honestly, if you're paying 30,000 won and it doesn't taste like this, you'd never come back."
Dad smiled and watched us eat.
"The fried shrimp here is also crazy good, you know?"
Dad placed an extra order for the ebi katsu, a mix of shrimp and batter.
The outside looks a bit like a croquette, and just like Dad said, it's tasty.
I was dipping my tonkatsu into the thick curry and eating when my eyes met Dad's.
Both Dad's and my mouths were covered in fried crumbs.
Seeing that, Da-yeon broke into a smile.
When I got to school, the place was packed with people loitering around, trying to see me.
The Hanguk University students, having seen me for a few days now, were mostly holding back... but you could say the campus was full of people who weren't even Hanguk University students...?
Half the people I could see weren't enrolled at Hanguk University.
Still, now that I'm an adult, the number of people who just march straight up and confess to me has dropped enormously.
By ordinary people's common sense, seeing a celebrity means asking for an autograph, not their phone number.
Usually, I'd park brazenly outside, but it looks like I'll have to use the underground parking for a while.
While I was in my major class, the minute hand on the clock signaled the end of the lecture.
The moment the professor walked out, the business administration class representative, a guy named Jeong I-su, walked in.
"Business admin majors, please stay for a moment!"
Jeong I-su swept his eyes over those of us who remained, then opened his mouth.
"We need to elect a class representative for our section. Is there anyone who'd like to do it?"
When no one raised a hand, the class rep, who looked like a gigolo, smiled, then glanced at me for a split second, so briefly no one would notice.
"If there isn't anyone, then a majority vote would be best, right?"
Ah~ I see what he's angling for.
If we held an anonymous vote, whose name would come up the most? That's as obvious as watching a fire.
Not that I have princess syndrome, but there probably aren't many people in this class who even know each other's names.
But even if I raised my hand and demanded a veto, if the conversation turned to "So you want to stand out when no one else wants to do it?" it'd just get annoying.
But if I got elected and then said I wouldn't do it, that'd be even more annoying, so I raised my hand.
"Excuse me~"
"Yes?"
"A majority vote's fine, but we exclude people who seriously don't want to do it, right?"
"Of course, that's also fine, but since there isn't a single person who wants to..."
I cut the class rep off.
"I'll pay this semester's tuition for whoever takes the class rep position."
In that case, throwing money at it is the answer.
At my scholarship declaration, a bunch of people raised their hands saying they wanted to do it. We picked one of them.
The class rep was smiling outwardly, but his expression was subtly crumpled.
I looked at him and smiled, mouthing the words.
'Plenty... of people now, aren't there?'
I asked the woman who became the class president for her account number and transferred 2.5 million won to her on the spot.
Then, on my way out, I locked eyes with the class rep.
"Well then, good luck with your work~"
If Park Ji-hoon had been next to me, he might've run his mouth about how a leopard can't change its spots.
I like turning people inside out to see what they're hiding.
In short, if someone who reeks of fishiness approaches me, you could say I first turn them into an enemy to see what their real intentions are.
The assignments that had only been given out in one or two classes starting from week two were now, by week three, being assigned in almost every subject.
I'd thought about going on a weekend outing with Da-yeon, but as expected, Da-yeon had started diligently clearing, one by one, the assignments that were due all the way through week eight.
'She said she'd slack off...'
I rested my head on Beta, who was lying limp and drained of energy, and turned on my Nanten to enjoy Debtor's Forest.
Beta was licking my hair.
"Si-yoon, aren't you doing your assignments?"
"Only Da-yeon's in a rush. I've got tons of time."
"Really?"
Even after I said that, Dad kept giving me looks that said, 'Are you really not doing them?', so I ended up turning off Debtor's Forest, sitting in front of the computer, and thinking.
If these were group assignments, I'd have just grabbed some older sucker and made them do it, so it was a bit of a shame.
'Not a sucker, of course. 'Cause a cosmic superstar would be in their group. Obviously.'
Except for Professor Ahn Jun-tae's class and a few elective courses, most assignments required writing reports averaging 40,000 characters.
Before writing my reports, I started looking up news articles for research.
Search, scroll with the mouse wheel, skim read. Repeat.
After finishing my preliminary research, I flexed my fingers and opened the word processor.
Fingers that were born in twenty-first-century South Korea, encountered the new culture of gaming, and had been ceaselessly trained to protect my son-in-law and daughter.
Adding overwhelming memory and thinking speed to that, I started hammering the keyboard at an average of 1,600 keystrokes, a speed beyond human limits.
Click-click-click-click-click-clack!
Maybe because it's a clicky keyboard, the sound is freakishly loud, but I finished my assignments swiftly.
Clack-clack-click-clack-clack-clack-clickity-clack-clack-click!!!
Just as I was clearing—in about 45 minutes on average—assignments meant to be done slowly over six weeks, Dad walked in holding a nicely peeled pear.
"Si-yoon~ want some fruit while you...?"
Click-click-click-click-click-clack!!!
A noise like the cry of a cicada came from my keyboard, as if the keyboard itself was screaming for mercy.
Seeing me like that, Dad slowly opened his mouth.
"Whoa..."
Watching lines being added at an average pace of one every 2 to 2.5 seconds, Dad was utterly speechless.
"Just leave it over there."
I'd only ever typed fast when I was cussing out someone who was talking shit about my parents, but this is the first time I've seriously hammered the keys at full speed like this.
Honestly, there's a slight sense of pleasure that comes through when I press the keys, I guess you could say?
As I typed at a slightly slower pace while talking to Dad, he looked at me with a strange, unreadable gaze.
Click-click-click-click-clack.
"Why... do you suck at games then?"
"Who're you making fun of?"