Marine Park Ji-hoon.
Marine Park Ji-hoon.
Park Ji-hoon had been sound asleep and only started cracking his eyes open bit by bit once we were almost at his place.
"Hwaaaahk!"
"Dumbass."
The moment Park Ji-hoon realized he was headed to his own place, he started thrashing around.
"Ughhh, I don't wanna go home. Pull over."
"Ah, you crazy bastard, just sit still."
"Every single day's too precious. I can't just go home and crash like this."
Thanks to Park Ji-hoon throwing a full-on fit, we wound up parked at the convenience store in front of his building.
Park Ji-hoon came out loaded down with food. Six bottles of nothing but booze in the bag.
"Go return that. Before you seriously get your ass beat."
"....."
Park Ji-hoon ignored the order to return them. Instead, he started ripping open the pack of cigarettes he'd just bought with his teeth.
"You planning to smoke?"
"....."
"Isn't it a waste of twenty years of holding out? Don't be a dumbass, hand 'em over."
Park Ji-hoon stared at my palm for a moment, then placed the cigarettes in my hand.
We'd both been hardcore smokers, so we were constantly fighting off the urge to smoke.
Kim Tae-oh seemed to have caved in the end, though...
I snatched the lighter from Park Ji-hoon's hand and set the cigarette he was holding on fire.
Park Ji-hoon watched the burning cigarette in silence.
"Haaah... Should I start seeing women...?"
I had to wonder what kind of bullshit he was spouting in front of me, but Park Ji-hoon was already dead drunk.
He was probably just spouting meaningless crap he didn't even care about because he couldn't stop thinking about going to the military.
"It's not a bad way to forget your situation. Just don't go around with someone on your arm since it looks bad, and stick to one-night stands."
"But I'm bald as hell...?"
"Ahah, you chrome-dome shit."
"Haaah... Why am I the only one who has to go to the military..."
Park Ji-hoon cracked open a bottle and started chugging straight from it.
He really could drink like a fucking champ, though...
Watching him eat a single honey-butter chip as his drinking snack looked so damn pitiful. Really... impressive.
"Why am I the only one who has to go to the militaryyy..."
"You want me to go instead?"
"Female soldiers are insane. You'd probably be popular as hell."
"Popular my ass. I'm already drowning in it, and besides, I don't have the slightest inclination, yeah?"
Park Ji-hoon looked at me and muttered.
"Wish I'd reincarnated as a good-looking motherfucker too, fucking hell..."
"The hell's he saying. A quarter of this is my blood."
"Don't bullshit me. I didn't even know what Amy Allen looked like, and now I get why you were so fucking obsessed, goddamn."
"Huh? Excuse me, I don't go for faces, okay?"
"I figured it out when I saw Amy Allen's portrait. You fucking con artist... you goddamn bastard... If she looked like that, I can see why you were willing to die for her."
"Still your sister-in-law, though. Watch your mouth, you fuckin..."
"....."
I looked at the deflated Park Ji-hoon, smirked, and grabbed a snack from in front of me.
Park Ji-hoon started chugging from the bottle again and began swaying more and more.
"Ah jeez... you little shit... come on!"
I hoisted the drunk Park Ji-hoon onto my back and pressed the doorbell at Ji-hoon's place.
After a short wait, Park Ji-hoon's parents came out.
"Good heavens... Si-yoon, I'm so sorry about this."
"It's fine. Looks like Ji-hoon drank a lot because he's enlisting..."
"Did Ji-hoon call you?"
"No, Ji-hoon's friend contacted me."
"Anyway, thank you. It's late—want to stay over?"
"Dad's waiting for me, so haha."
"Alright, get home safe~"
"Yep, good night~"
After dropping Park Ji-hoon off at home, I headed straight back to my place.
Da-yeon and I dressed up nicely and started driving, following Park Ji-hoon's parents' car.
"Ah, I wish my car would get here sooner."
"Si-yoon keeps saying she wants to drive it, so now I'm curious too."
"From what I've heard, it feels like you're flying."
"... If you just slapped wings on it... it really would fly, honestly...?"
Park Ji-hoon's parents, driving a supercar, seemed worried about whether I was keeping up okay.
Since we were already on the highway, I switched into the fast lane and showed them what an electric car can do.
The artificial sound generated by the car began to shriek sharply when I floored the accelerator.
KYAAAAAANG!!!
The fact that you can tune the sound is absolutely killer.
Only then did Park Ji-hoon's mother speed up to catch up.
I decided to show off the power of my latest-model Tasla just a little more.
"Da-yeon, hold on tight."
"Huh!? You're going faster?!"
"Let's go!!!"
"Don't!!! It's dangerous!!!"
I didn't lift my foot off the accelerator, and Da-yeon, startled by the faster-than-usual speed, clutched the grab handle tight.
Even on an F1 track I never floored it at this speed.
Still, the moment I heard the alert about a speed camera ahead, I took my foot right off the accelerator.
If I screw around and rack up points, Dad'll confiscate the car.
Cars that naturally got out of the way as my car and Ji-hoon's family car passed.
Before we knew it, we'd arrived in front of the training center.
Ji-hoon's mother was on the verge of tears.
"Ji-hoon... be careful, okay..."
Ji-hoon gave his mother a brief hug, then smirked.
"Crying? You're crying!? Kyahah!"
If I'd been next to him I would've smacked the back of his head myself, but Park Jeong-ho did it naturally.
Smack!
"Ack!!!"
After that brief incident, we sat down at a barbecue place nearby, talking and eating.
"Whoa, that buzz cut is freaking insane."
Park Ji-hoon was forcing wrinkles into his forehead.
"Wow... you look seriously stupid. Do the 'nyah-nyah' thing, go on, nyah-nyah."
"...?"
As I was messing with Park Ji-hoon, his mother smiled awkwardly and asked.
"How's the food?"
"It's good."
"You've all become adults already, huh~"
"Right~ We're adults now too."
It felt strange that Park Ji-hoon was enlisting.
Honestly, with no one to mess with for the next eighteen months, I figured I'd actually get bored...
After we finished eating, Park Ji-hoon was really about to enlist.
Park Ji-hoon muttered just loud enough for me to hear.
"I seriously don't wanna go..."
This bastard had been crying his eyes out to me while drinking not that long ago, and I'd been wondering why he looked so composed today—turns out it was because his parents were around.
Apparently, he'd been whining to Jong-hyeon too.
I'd heard Jong-hyeon had served in UDT.
"Whoa~ look at all the baldies... Just like youuu."
"... Don't push it."
"Wow... Still, I hear the pay's gone up these days, and they give leave pretty often too."
"... That's not even one-tenth of what I get from you, you know?"
"Sweet as hell, then."
"... Seriously, why are you so goddamn irritating today... you."
Once we'd eaten most of the meal, Da-yeon gave Park Ji-hoon a watch as a present.
"They said you'll need this."
"Ah, thanks~"
"Stay safe!"
"Got it~ Thanks a lot, seriously."
I pulled a paper bag out of the trunk.
Inside the bag, I'd packed a full load: a week's worth of lotion (all-in-one), foam cleanser, shampoo, body wash, a shower towel, a shower ball, laundry soap, pain relief patches, knee pads, Vaseline, bandages, blister prevention bandages, registered-mail stamps, and more.
"Don't they give you that stuff in the military?"
"You think they do?"
"Ohoho, you're packing stuff for me now? After roasting the hell out of me every time I called?"
"You said you're going recon, so have fun suffering. Your big sis is gonna take the new Illytion out and floor it when it drops."
"Hey! That's the one you showed me, right?"
"Yeah."
"Can you do me a favor?"
"What."
"Let me drive it just once."
I looked at the desperate-looking Park Ji-hoon and let out a chuckle.
"You know soldiers can't drive, right?"
"..... After I get discharged."
"I'll just give it to you."
"...What?"
"I said I'll give it to you, you bastard~ Get going."
"For real? Seriously!?"
"If my car's still in one piece by then, I'll hand you the keys as is. So hurry up and go."
"You mean it!? You're really giving it to me!?"
Park Ji-hoon was born with a solid silver spoon in his mouth.
He was a bona fide silver spoon who'd just gotten his license and was already getting a sports car as his first car.
But I was a super diamond spoon.
Honestly, giving Park Ji-hoon—who'd been through thick and thin with me in the past—a car was nothing.
"Yeah, two years from now I'll be in a brand-new car anyway~"
I said it to mess with him, but even so, he seemed happy about it.
"You mean it!!? Whoa... Dad! The car Si-yoon's giving me costs 3.8 billion won."
""What?!""
"Of course, you're footing the taxes, right?"
"That much is obvious."
At the moment, Park Ji-hoon thought taxes were no big deal...
They say electric cars genuinely have lower maintenance costs than current internal combustion vehicles.
Even so, the car I was giving him this time was a hypercar.
Not that a hypercar built for hard driving would work that way. But if a battery pack goes, you're easily out 20 to 30 million won.
You have to replace the tires every two to three years, which runs about 45 million won, and if you swap the wheels at the recommended 10,000 km mark, that's 60 million won simply gone.
There were only two places in Korea that could even repair it, and even with parts repairs, you'd keep hemorrhaging tens of millions of won.
And on top of that, taxes...
Park Ji-hoon's annual salary for two years could get blown in a single year.
Of course, once he was discharged I could maybe double his pay, but even then, he'd still have nothing left over.
Park Ji-hoon hugged each of his parents tight, then disappeared into the distance, all excited.
"Haaah... Re-enlisting... seriously fucking... not the move... Should I just bolt...?"
Still, for all her faults, Kim Si-yoon's got loyalty, and if she's just gonna hand over a hypercar she bought, then I gotta do it...
Eighteen months for 3.8 billion? That's a goddamn bargain.
For that much, I'd even go back to those shitty old days.
Yeah, is the military these days even really the military? Hell, one more tour, whatever.
I saw my mom crying in the distance and bowed, following the drill instructor's orders.
Fuck... It's really hitting me that I'm in the military.
Following the instructor's guidance, we entered the training hall, and sure enough, the bastards immediately started laying down discipline the moment parents were out of sight.
For about three hours, they had us doing nothing but standing up and sitting down over and over, putting us in that PTSD-triggering kneeling-sit position, and we listened to their lectures.
I got assigned the number 1st Training Company, 2nd Platoon, 4th Squad, Number 5, and moved along with the red-cap.
Being surrounded by nothing but bald-headed shits, a feeling of regret I'd never had in my life was seriously creeping up on me, but what can you do...
Fuck...
We set down the items we'd brought at the gym, and the platoons started heading to the warehouse one by one, beginning with 1st Platoon.
The rest of us sat at desks to fill out the documents they were handing out for identity verification.
When it was our turn, we went inside the warehouse, and there were red-caps handing out supplies.
It gave me chills.
Right there on the spot, they told us to strip and change into the issued clothes, underwear included. A bit much, sure, but what're you gonna do—when they say strip, you strip.
The stares converged on me the moment I took my clothes off.
I realized it was because I'd been jealous as hell of Kim Si-yoon's tiger tattoo back then, so this time I'd gotten the tiger tattoo she'd drawn for me extending all the way down over my chest.
Both arms were already blacked out, and now I'd added the chest on top of that, so... they were staring like crazy...
Just then, from a distance, even the red-cap flinched a little... Got a slight feeling I'm fucked.
Just a hunch, but... they were definitely gonna use me as an example and run me into the ground.
No matter how much the military's changed, it's still the military, isn't it.
After changing into all the new clothes, I packed the electronics and clothes I'd originally brought into a box.
The red-caps checking our brought items...
Still, looking in the mirror in uniform, at least the fit's decent, which is something.
We headed to dinner, and I could feel it—these motherfuckers were determined to crush our spirits from the start.
"Trainees!!!! Are the lowest!!!! Form of existence within a military base!!!!"
The crazy bastard's shouting with veins bulging in his neck.
I'm not deaf, you shitstain.
You bastard, if you'd met my Boss back in the day, your throat would've been cut on the spot, you piece of shit.
They said we were going to eat dinner, but fuck that. For three hours, we got nothing but drill practice. Not that there's any way I'd be bad at it.
It's been at least thirty years, but... it's fucking creepy how naturally the stances etched into my soul come out.
Once a Marine, always a Marine, I guess...
I used to be Marine Class 166, and now I was a boot in Class 1606.
Time really is something else...
Even so, I was starving, and the dinner was definitely insane.
I guess it's obvious compared to the old days, but at this level, it's delicious as hell.
I was reminiscing about the past while piling it high and wolfing it down, when suddenly the red-cap flipped out.
"Who told you to eat that muchhhh!!!!"
Oh for fuck's sake...
"I'm sorryyyy!!!"
'It's still the first day, you son of a bitch, get a damn clue, you fucker. If I quit and report you, you'll be in deep shit...'
Still, if I quit and stormed out on day one, it'd be obvious I'd become a laughingstock for Team 7.
Even if it's shitty, what can you do—it's the military...
"Trainee."
"Yes! Trainee! Park! Ji! Hooooon!!!"
I snapped to attention at a sharp angle, and he finally seemed satisfied, but then suddenly he started ordering me to sit down and stand up.
I seriously almost threw a punch right then.
Looking at the state of those upper traps, if I had, this soft-ass dude would've died.
People around me were snickering, and the bastards who laughed immediately got ordered to drop and do push-ups.
Thinking back, this was the guy who'd been staring hard at my tattoo.
Still, maybe thanks to my unusual stamina...
While the little runts were dropping dead, I was just annoyed—it wasn't hard.
When it was time to shower, people kept about two meters of distance around me.
Well... my body's got not just tattoos, but more stitch scars than you'd think.
The next day...
The siren jolted me awake on instinct. I folded the blanket and mattress pad and moved faster than anyone—and that red-cap bastard from yesterday seemed to like me more and more.
After breakfast, the red-cap used my footlocker as the example while verbally reaming out the other guys.
The red-cap was going off about how everyone needed to be like Trainee 2405.
In the hours between breakfast and lunch, we did nothing but drill practice over and over.
Suddenly, an announcement came over the central entrance for everyone who'd applied for the reconnaissance branch to report.
Since I'd applied for recon, I went to the entrance. About twenty people were there.
They also told anyone from the other general branches who was physically strong or good at swimming and wanted to try out for recon to come forward.
The recon branch ate separately and moved separately, and that shitty red-cap bastard tagged along.
They had us swim, so I casually grabbed the top grade.
The next day, I did 122 push-ups in two minutes, 149 sit-ups in two minutes, and then clocked a 3 km run in 9 minutes 7 seconds. People lost their words.
Feel it in your bones what overwhelming physicality looks like.
And the day after that, midway through doing 42 pull-ups.
The thought 'Why am I going this hard?' hit me, and I had a brief moment of post-nut clarity. I dropped down, and the area around me went quiet.
Maybe I should at least pretend to struggle...
That night, I stood fire watch, fell asleep at 2 a.m., and the next day got a physical exam.
Wearing nothing but a short-sleeve PT uniform, my tattoos were starkly exposed, so everyone kept avoiding my eyes.
I'm not that kind of person, though...
No... wait, am I?
I had a brief moment of identity confusion, but there was nothing I could do about it.
I was just getting adjusted to things, and goddamn it, they made us do another 3 km run.
Still, I figured there was no downside, so I ran like hell.
Anyway, even at max speed, 3 km isn't exactly hard.
What blew my mind was that an ambulance was following behind us.
Are there people who... drop dead while running?
In the Marines?
Wear the uniform, do drill, eat again, do drill, eat, pick up a rifle, do drill, eat.
And every so often, they'd pick a fight with some pointless remarks, then make us bust out push-ups like crazy.
But weirdly, it wasn't hard at all.
Though there were plenty of little runts dying beside me.
When I went to do push-ups alone, a recon buddy I'd gotten friendly with held my feet for me, so I started doing sit-ups.
"Whoa... Ji-hoon, you're insane..."
"Yeah?"
"But seriously... I feel like I've seen you somewhere a lot? You're not... Park Jeong-ho's athlete son, are you?"
"I am, actually?"
"For real?!"
"Why?"
"By any chance, Kim Si-yoon..."
"...?"
I rummaged through my footlocker and handed over one of the photos Kim Si-yoon had given me.
"Her?"
"Whoa!!! Whoa!!! Holy shit!!!!"
"What's with him."
"Boss... just give me an order. I'll do anything. In exchange... just one autograph..."
"...?"
I recalled what Kim Si-yoon had said.
'If you take a photo of us together with you, you'll probably get treated like royalty. Throw in Da-yeon too.'
That day, at twenty years old, I gained a same-age little brother.
The weekend came, it was time for religious activities, and I went to the Christian service.
Not that I believe in any religion—I went because they said they give out a lot of good stuff to eat.
Honestly, I ate a strawberry Munchshell and it was fucking delicious.
So good I wondered if it'd always tasted this incredible.
Thinking about how that little shit Kim Si-yoon was probably lounging around slicing into a steak right now made me feel seriously wronged, but what can you do...
It's better than losing my balls, and when Kim Tae-oh goes to the military, I'll just stand next to the Boss and roast the hell out of him together.
The little runts seemed to be getting all worked up over the hymns—looked like some kind of cult gathering.
Crazy bastards... with that kind of fervor, they could chew up medieval Crusaders.
The first week ended. Once the discharged personnel and returnees were gone, that red-cap piece of shit opened his mouth.
The training center has this weird-ass system called demerit points and merit points, and he started explaining it.
I got a haircut, sent my hair home, and kicked off another shitty day.
Received firearms, practiced the enlistment ceremony, drilled... drilled... and drilled...
And then in the evening, the platoon leader came in and called my name.
"Trainee Park Ji-hoon."
"Trainee! Park! Ji! Hoon!"
"Four letters came for you."
""Whaaa!!""
"Quiet."
"Yoo Mi-seon, girlfriend?"
"That's my mother!!!"
"My apologies..."
"Then is Kang Jong-hyeon your father?"
"He's the team leader I worked with!"
"What kind of work?"
"Security!!"
The red-cap nodded for a moment, then read the next letter.
"Lee Da-yeon, girlfriend?"
"Close female friend!"
"I see..."
And then, at the last one, the instructor flinched.
"Si... Si-yoon...?"
The instructor handed me the letter without a word.
- Please take good care of my boyfriend~ - Love, Si-yoon☆. (Photo taken together with Park Ji-hoon)
"That's not true!!!"
"Drop and give me push-ups."
"It's really not true!!"
"Daring to deceive your platoon leader..."
"That's not true!!!"