I've Had Enough
I was exhausted.
My expectations had been scraping rock bottom from the very start, and yet somehow this still managed to leave me wondering whether it was even possible to be more disappointed.
And as if to mock that very thought, the women were putting on quite the spectacle.
"Ugh! Why do you keep standing right there?! Move over already!"
"Kyaaaah! Cecilia, are you insane?! Leave the monsters alone—why the hell are you firing Magic Missiles at me?!"
"Ugh, I'm sorry. It's just not working for me today...."
The two swordsmen holding the front line, Illinet and Judy, kept tangling up in each other's feet until their entire formation collapsed. That single misstep was all it took for the ranks to fall apart completely, and from there the party put on a masterclass in disastrous teamwork.
Chloe the archer was friendly-firing her own allies, while Cecilia the mage mangled her healing incantations and dealt damage instead. A true rabble of a party. There wasn't a single place to rest your eyes in the whole chaotic mess.
Fuck. Never thought I'd live to miss those bastards.
I sank into useless rumination, consoling myself with the thought.
"Evan!"
Judy called out to me as I stood there in silence.
"Why do you just keep zoning out?! If you don't focus, the rest of us end up like this too!"
"...Haah."
"Help us already!"
The atmosphere was so dire that someone was genuinely about to drop, so I moved—reluctantly.
A proper adventuring party coordinated its breathing and wiped out monsters as a unit. This one, though, was a party of "comrades" in name only. There was none of that here. So I decided to stick to solo play, no briefing required.
Whoosh! Slash!
This changed body still wasn't fully familiar. An indescribable sense of disconnect made me fumble a few times. But as the minutes passed, it gradually improved.
Strength's a little lacking. If I mess up, I could drop the sword.
This frail flesh was almost embarrassing to compare to what I'd had before—but even this body had its uses. Roughly a dozen Giant Hogs were well within easy reach. Of course, most of that came down to the insight I'd already earned: the swordsmanship drilled into me as Maier, plus that distinctive combat sense. Those were my greatest weapons now.
Every time I swung the blade, I poured focus into all five senses, forcing them to sync with this body. Thanks to that, full adaptation didn't take long. After about ten minutes, I could swing the sword without any real discomfort.
—Squeeeeal!
—Kyaaaak!
Fountains of blood painted the arc of every cut. The monsters' death cries rang out in chorus, and I rode those screams, pressing the slaughter onward.
In the middle of the massacre, one Giant Hog charged straight at me. I'd been watching for it and slipped aside lightly. The same couldn't be said for Chloe, who was standing behind me.
"Guh—!"
A heavy thud, then a groan. She couldn't even dodge one of those? I gave her a sidelong glance and went right back to hunting.
"Evan! Have you lost your mind?!"
Judy's sharp, ringing voice shattered my concentration. I turned to look at her and found a face full of irritation.
"What kind of person dodges that?! Chloe got hurt because of you!"
"I-I'm fine, Judy...."
"And you've been breaking formation this whole time! You're supposed to mark the monsters up front!"
"...Me?"
"Yes! You!"
Judy had a point, in her own way. The original Evan would have stayed put out of concern for Chloe behind him. Chloe had known that, which was why she'd just stood there blankly.
What was that saying again? When kindness goes on long enough, people start treating it like a right.
All the free handouts the old Evan had doled out like a sucker had brought things to this state. The biggest share of blame for this party becoming a disaster belonged to him. Be honest—if Evan just handled everything while everyone else sat still, how was the party ever supposed to improve? Ugh. I was the one suffering for the karma he'd piled up.
"Evan. I'm really fine...."
Chloe looked up at me with a bitter expression. The rest of the party watched her with pity. I felt not a shred of sympathy. If anything, she just looked pathetic.
"Tsk. Move a little. Don't just stand there."
"H-Huh?"
"Hey! Evan!"
Judy barked from beside me, hands planted firmly on her hips, glaring as if I were the one in the wrong.
"Why are you talking to her like that? Chloe's already upset enough!"
"I-It's fine, Judy. It's not Evan's fault."
"Still, that was way too harsh! Even if you can't apologize, you could at least say something comforting!"
So that was it? Shut up and empathize on command?
These people called themselves adventurers.
I let out a long sigh and went back to the hunt. Voices called after me from behind. I ignored them. Not worth listening to anyway.
"What's with him lately? It's not like he's some teenager going through puberty."
Judy, the woman with short hair the color of crimson flame, spat the words out irritably. Evan's sudden change did not sit well with her at all.
"I know, right? I've been feeling it for about a week now—he's just not like he used to be."
Cecilia, the blonde mage, chimed in agreement. Normally he would have apologized first and treated Chloe's wounds. No—he never would have let Chloe get hurt in the first place. That was the kind of man Evan was: the sort who protected his comrades even if it meant getting hurt himself.
"So it wasn't just me? The first day I thought maybe I was imagining it, but he keeps getting colder."
"Mm. His behavior, his voice—everything's turned so cold. What on earth could have happened to him in a single week?"
Illinet nodded along in agreement, her lustrous white hair swaying with each motion of her head.
"He's been skipping training lately, too. So lazy—it's not like him at all."
Evan had always been the last to sleep and the first to rise. The calluses on his hands were proof of that diligence. But at some point, no one had seen him training anymore. Illinet, who used to spar with him every day, felt the absence especially keenly.
Could a person really change this much? Evan had transformed overnight.
"...."
Chloe watched Evan's retreating back with a faintly disappointed gaze. She didn't resent him. But the hurt was something she couldn't help.
Evan....
It wasn't that she had failed to dodge. She simply hadn't dodged. Why? Because she had been certain—just like always—that Evan would protect her this time too. The greater the trust she had placed in him, the greater the disappointment that came with it.
Judy looked at Chloe with worried eyes, then let out a heavy sigh.
"Haa. Is he upset with us about something? What could possibly make him act like this?"
They didn't know what had triggered the change. Or rather—deep down, they all had a pretty good idea.
"It's that, right? He's upset with us over... that...."
"Ahem. He may have actually figured it out."
"Even if Evan knows, nothing changes. I'm sorry, but we have our own circumstances."
"...You're right."
Following Evan was not an option. That choice had nothing to do with how sorry they felt.
The four women finished their little conspiracy. Before long, Evan signaled that the hunt was over and they headed back. Once they returned to the inn, the party settled into their ordinary routine—except for one thing that was no longer ordinary: Evan's attitude.
"It's chicken stew!"
Cecilia approached Evan as he spooned stew at the table. A spoon was already clutched in her hand. Evan's brow furrowed at the sight.
"Evan, Evan! Where's my plate? I want to eat too!"
"Huh? Why are you asking me? If you're thinking of freeloading, dream on."
"W-What? B-But you know how much I love chicken stew...."
"Then cook some yourself. I barely have enough for me, so get lost. Shoo, shoo."
"...Ah. But I can't cook...."
Cecilia stared blankly back and forth between Evan's face and the stew. Even if he'd only had a single bean, the old Evan would have shared it. She found herself missing that gentleness.
"Evan, my bowstring snapped. Could you fix it for me again?"
"Am I an archer? Fix it yourself."
"Huh? How am I supposed to fix this? You always did it for me."
"I don't know, I don't know. Ask someone else."
"E-Evan?"
He walked off without so much as a glance. In the end, Chloe had no choice but to rely on her own hands. She repaired the bow with the technique she'd picked up watching over his shoulder—but of course.
Twang!
The string snapped free almost immediately. Chloe bit her lip as she stared at the ruined bow.
"Evan, there you are. Would you mind handling the butchering for me? I've always had a weak stomach for that sort of thing."
"Butchering? Sorry, but I hate that too."
"Hm? What is that supposed to mean all of a sudden?"
"It means I'm not doing it. I can't stand getting beast blood on my hands either. And why are you dumping your own job on me? Anyway, no."
"W-Wait just a moment! Then what am I supposed to do with—!"
Illinet was no different. Evan's uncharacteristic attitude felt unbearably strange to her.
"...Ugh."
She forced her hands back into motion and resumed the dismantling. When beast blood splattered across her face, Illinet dropped the knife. And so Illinet went without lunch.
Three days passed after that.
The party members would have preferred to make peace with Evan if they could—but the relationship only spiraled toward rock bottom.
"This is too much. Seriously too much...."
"I think so too. We've made our mistakes, sure, but even accounting for that, this is over the line."
"Hmph. I agree."
The main topic of conversation was Evan's change—and without exception, none of them welcomed it. Judy, his childhood friend, was on the verge of exploding.
"Argh, seriously! How hard is it to tie someone's bootlaces for them?!"
Judy, his childhood friend of fifteen years. She had always known exactly how to handle Evan. He had an easy-to-read personality to begin with, and a foundation built over fifteen years was nothing to take lightly. But that was all in the past tense now.
"What should we do.... Should we apologize to him?"
"What? Apologize for what? It's not like we committed some huge crime."
"Mm-hm. We're the ones suffering under Evan's tantrums. He should be the one feeling sorry toward us."
Judy shook her head at Illinet's words. A strange certainty had settled in her chest—the certainty that Evan's heart had already left them.
"If he were sorry, he would have started treating us better ages ago. Evan's sulking isn't anything new. Either way, I'm done putting up with it."
There was no more guilt left. The only feeling remaining was indignation. Then Judy hit upon a brilliant idea.
"It's because we've been spoiling him. We've been walking on eggshells, so he looks down on us and ignores us."
"...There's probably some truth to that."
"Don't you all think so too? If we'd gotten angry even once, he never would have gone this far."
"A fair point."
"Judy's right. That does make sense."
With the others agreeing, Judy took it one step further and offered a proposal.
"We need to show him. That we won't just sit still either."
"What do you mean? Are you saying we confront Evan?"
"Something like that. Right now he's treating us like leftovers. We've got every right to be angry."
She raised her index finger as she continued.
"So we throw a tantrum of our own. For example—Evan, because of you, we're leaving this party."
"Whaaat?"
"Think about it. If we say we're quitting the party, what's Evan going to do? He'll obviously try to stop us. That's how we force him to drop the attitude."
"...Mmm."
"Hmm...."
For a while, only thoughtful murmurs filled the air. Then Chloe broke the silence.
"I'm in. I'm tired of coddling Evan."
Perhaps Chloe's resolute voice gave them strength. Cecilia and Illinet nodded as well, as if they had made up their minds.