Chaos
Chaos
In the dense darkness, I stood frozen in a daze. Countless thoughts flooded my mind.
‘What the hell am I supposed to…’
The sun had set, and I would soon transform into a demon.
Countless eyes would witness my transformation.
I would not be able to leave a single one of them alive. For the sake of my survival, I’d have to kill the innocent.
A wave of nausea surged up.
I wasn’t sure I could bring myself to stain my hands with their blood.
Though I’d already experienced both direct and indirect killings since my possession, this time, I just couldn’t steel myself.
These people were innocent. Oppressed. And they had even shown me kindness.
If I slaughtered them, my humanity would be gone for good.
I would live the rest of my life as nothing more than a cruel demon.
I clutched my head in both hands.
“…Fuck.”
If I wanted to cling to being human, I had to leave the witnesses alive.
And the price for that… would surely be my life someday.
Could I handle it? Honestly, I wasn’t confident. I couldn’t bring myself to massacre these slash-and-burn villagers, but neither could I bear to leave witnesses behind and just walk away.
Floundering in a hideous dilemma, I couldn’t make a decision.
My brain felt like it might explode.
Just as I sat there, paralyzed between options, someone cautiously approached me.
“A-Are you alright, sir…?”
It was the old man who had taken care of me.
I whipped my head around to him with a face full of fear.
The fact that I might have to kill him made my entire body tremble.
“If this lowly one has somehow offended…”
Though the old man looked puzzled by my reaction, he bowed his head.
It was a gesture born of experience—one used when dealing with nobles.
Rather than digging for answers and risking offense, it was safer to simply lower your head, just like this.
His response left me flustered.
There was no fear or dread in his eyes.
Even when I looked around, it was the same.
The gazes fixed on me carried only wariness and confusion—there was no fear or hatred toward a demon.
It was strange.
The sun had set, so I should’ve transformed. For them, this should’ve been an abrupt encounter with a demon.
At the very least, there should have been screams.
And yet, not even the slightest uproar.
‘What the…’
I immediately checked the palms of my hands.
They weren’t black. All I saw were pale skin and small fingers.
When I touched my face, I only felt soft skin.
No hard exoskeleton like armor.
It wasn’t a demon’s body.
A shock, like being struck with a hammer, spread through my entire body.
I stood there, dazed, for a long moment.
***
As soon as I came to my senses, I returned to the hut.
‘…I didn’t transform into a demon.’
The sun had set, and yet, I was still human.
Not once since possession had this ever happened.
What was the reason? Only one theory came to mind.
‘Did the demon’s body die?’
I must have died when Espada, the holy spear, pierced me.
It was entirely possible.
Espada inflicted eternal wounds on demons, its concentrated holy power burning away the body unceasingly.
That vicious sacred relic had remained embedded in my body until the end.
Even the sturdiest demon wouldn’t have been able to escape a fatal injury. It wouldn’t be surprising if I had died.
Once that thought surfaced, a sliver of hope and a flicker of worry crossed my mind.
‘Could I really live on as a human now?’
There was a sense of relief that I might no longer need to keep up the pretense of being a villain—and, at the same time, anxiety about what would happen next.
Not having to pretend to be a demon anymore was certainly satisfying.
But the question was what came after.
With survival itself uncertain, could I truly prepare for the apocalypse to come, all while trapped in the body of a human child?
I wasn’t so sure. It wasn’t impossible, of course—but the tower I’d built so far would definitely collapse.
I’d have to start planning everything from scratch.
And the trouble didn’t stop there.
My relationship with Illea had also grown unstable.
The witch was surely drawn to the fact that I was a demon. Now that that part of me was gone, I couldn’t rule out the possibility that her previously favorable attitude would change drastically.
In the worst-case scenario, I might even have to face her hostility.
That would be… a massive burden.
And then there was our contract.
According to it, Illea was bound to protect me.
But the subject she made the contract with was the demon version of me. If that version had died, she might now be suffering the consequences of breaking the pact.
In other words, Illea might already be dead.
Of course, that theory only held water if ‘human’ Johan and ‘demon’ Johan were considered separate entities.
If the two were considered one and the same, then Illea wouldn’t be dead—since the ‘human’ Johan was still alive.
I swallowed a breath.
Nothing was certain.
I didn’t even know for sure whether the demon me was actually dead.
‘I need to find Illea.’
And if she was dead…
The moment that thought took hold, my expression twisted.
A strange sense of frustration crept in. Just imagining Illea’s death left me feeling uneasy.
Was it regret that I couldn’t use her powers anymore? Or had I grown attached to her, even just a little? I couldn’t say for sure.
I let out a long sigh.
‘For now, I need to move.’
Sitting here worrying all day wouldn’t give me any answers.
To resolve any of the problems in front of me, I needed more information—more proof.
I called out to the old man.
“Could I speak with your grandson?”
“Of course, sir, but… may I ask why?”
“He saved me. I’d like to reward him. And I have a few things I’d like to ask.”
“In that case, I’ll bring him at once. But… My grandson is still very young and uneducated, so he may offend you. I ask your generous forgiveness, my lord.”
The old man bowed his head as he spoke. Even if it was etiquette for nobles, it still felt excessive.
Now that I thought about it, he had been like this from the very beginning.
His eyes were full of kindness toward me, despite us being strangers.
It didn’t take much thinking to figure out the reason.
‘The Eyes of the Great Saint.’
Thanks to the implanted relic, anyone who made eye contact with me was filled with goodwill.
It was an extremely useful power.
The goodwill of others could sometimes be as valuable as gold—and I could use that advantage without even trying.
Of course, it would earn hatred from demons, but considering the benefits, the penalty was manageable.
I said, keeping my satisfaction hidden,
“Please don’t worry. I’m not someone who clings to formalities.”
The old man responded with a hearty smile.
“Then please wait just a moment. I’ll bring him right away.”
***
Shortly after the old man left, a small, grubby boy approached the hut.
Even though it was his own home, he couldn’t bring himself to enter easily.
He fidgeted outside, glancing at me nervously.
I spoke to him.
“This is your house. Why are you just standing there? Come in.”
Only then did the boy slowly approach.
“E-Excuse me.”
As soon as he stepped inside, he knelt and lowered his head. He didn’t even meet my eyes.
It was like he was deliberately avoiding looking at me.
I found his behavior strange, but I didn’t press for an explanation.
“First, let me thank you. You took care of me. If not for you, I might’ve been killed by beasts or bandits. I’ll repay you handsomely.”
The boy said nothing, simply bowing deeper. His body trembled intermittently.
I said,
“You seem uncomfortable. Then let’s get to the point. I have a few questions.”
“I-I’ll answer honestly.”
“What’s your name?”
“I’m Raon.”
“Alright, Raon. Was there anything unusual about the riverbank where you found me?”
“Unusual…?”
“Like the corpse of a strange creature, a giant spear, a person-sized mirror—anything out of the ordinary you may have seen?”
He was referring, in order, to the demon Johan’s body, the holy spear Espada, and the original of the Cursed Scripture, Chapter 13.
“I’m sorry, but I didn’t see anything like that. The only belongings with you were in that bag over there.”
He pointed to one corner of the room.
My backpack sat there.
“I-I didn’t open it.”
“Not much inside, but you did well. You’re a well-mannered kid.”
“No… I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more help.”
I shook my head.
“What you’ve done is more than enough. Just one last question. Can you read a map?”
“My uncle’s a hunter, so I learned a bit.”
“Perfect.”
I pulled a large map out of the bag.
“Can you point to where you found me?”
The boy studied the map closely.
After a moment, he pointed with his index finger.
“It was near here.”
I clicked my tongue.
‘Still inside the sacred barrier.’
After falling into the river from Gawain’s attack, I must’ve stopped not long after reaching the bank.
Which meant this place was still within the Church’s search perimeter.
The Church could show up here at any time.
I asked,
“Then where is this village?”
The boy dragged his finger and pointed to another spot.
“Here.”
I furrowed my brow.
“You’re sure?”
“Yes.”
The village was at least fifteen kilometers from the riverbank where I’d collapsed.
“You carried me all that way?”
The boy was small and frail—looked to be around my age but with a much smaller frame.
There was no way this boy could’ve carried me fifteen kilometers. Not in just a few hours.
“Answer me. You really moved me yourself?”
“Y-Yes.”
He bowed his head low, voice trembling.
“Alone?”
“Well…”
I stared at him silently before speaking again.
“Raise your head.”
The boy sat up straight, but still avoided my gaze.
“Look at me.”
He couldn’t bring himself to meet my eyes. He looked around nervously, then dropped his gaze again.
I found it strange—and so, I grabbed his chin and gently tilted it upward.
Only then did our eyes meet.
I asked,
“Did you really carry me all that way by yourself?”
The moment the question ended, the boy’s expression twisted violently.
A strange voice escaped his lips.
“Ah, ah! I don’t want to see your eyes. It makes me want to tear them out!”
The voice wasn’t the boy’s. It had become a hideously unpleasant screech.
Startled, I let go of his chin.
At the same time, the boy’s eyes lost their color. Blackness, like spilled ink, spread over the whites of his eyes.
“O Great End…! Let me gouge out this cursed one’s eyes for you!”
The boy’s hand slowly reached toward me.
He was aiming for the Eyes of the Great Saint.