Reunion and Disaster Differ by One Vowel
Cheonma ignored the perfectly functional door right next to him and instead smashed straight through the wall to make his entrance. Spotting us, he put on a deliberately surprised expression, as if he hadn't expected to run into us here. "It's been a while, Cheonma-nim."
Instead of returning my greeting, Cheonma raised his right index finger and began condensing mana. A Death Beam from Cheonma was about to launch. 'Seriously, do these guys always greet people with Death Beams instead of words?'
[My dear! You must dodge!]
But when I saw the beam's projected path, I felt a chill run down my spine. The Death Beam wasn't aimed at me. It was heading straight for Hye-ji. 'Why the hell is he shooting at Hye-ji of all people?!'
[My dear! If Hye-ji gets hit, it will be an absolute catastrophe!]
The other martial artists had already scattered and hidden themselves in various corners. Even the receptionist was casually ducking under the front desk with practiced ease. Her movements were so natural it was like breathing. The rest of my group, however, hadn't noticed yet. I dashed forward and stepped into the beam's path, shielding Hye-ji who was still standing calmly in place.
"Don't touch Hye-ji!"
I quickly circulated my mana and condensed it into my right palm. A hazy aura rose from my hand. I thrust my arm straight out.
- BOOOOOOM!!!
The mana I'd gathered in my palm collided with the Death Beam and exploded. The resulting shockwave turned the inside of the guild into a disaster zone. Papers and random junk flew everywhere as I glared at Cheonma and shouted.
"You crazy bastard!!! That was dangerous!!!"
Cheonma looked equally shocked, his face blank as he slowly lowered his hand. He'd clearly missed his target. Before he could respond, Hye-ji turned to me.
"Shinu-ya! Were you worried about me? Thanks!"
"You don't look hurt. That's a relief."
"I'm fine! Getting hit by something like that once or twice won't kill me!"
Hye-ji looked at me with slightly teary eyes, clearly moved. I grabbed her shoulders and let out a sigh of relief.
"If you'd gotten hit, Cheonma-nim would've been in serious danger."
[That was close.]
'The entire guild would've been wiped out.'
Touching an irregular existence in a neutral state? If that led to death, we usually called it natural causes. Just then, someone suddenly grabbed both of my hands tightly. It was Cheonma.
"Shinu! Thank you so much! That was nearly a disaster!"
"Be more careful next time. I just saved your life today, you know?"
"Thank you! Truly, thank you! I won't forget this debt."
Cheonma kept bowing his head to me, repeating his thanks. At least things hadn't escalated into war or Cheonma's "natural death." But right in the middle of our friendly atmosphere, a murderous aura began creeping in. Cheonma and I turned toward the source to find Hye-ji staring at us, fully armed. The moved expression from earlier was gone, replaced by a chilling smile.
"......You two done talking?"
"Hye-ji! I'm truly sorry! I swear this won't happen again!"
"Hye-ji-ya. Cheonma-nim is apologizing like this, so just forgive him this once."
"That's enough for your last words."
Countless gatling guns Hye-ji had manifested were now aimed at us. She pointed a single machine gun in our direction. The mechanical clicks sounded especially ominous today.
"You'll be having dinner in hell."
At her signal, brilliant flames erupted from every barrel. The resulting shockwave was a typhoon compared to the earlier gust.
Fortunately, there were no deaths or injuries from Hye-ji's attack. Everyone else had already fled, and Jung Ayeon had quietly stayed behind Hye-ji without causing trouble. As for me, I minimized the damage thanks to the Cheonma Shield.
"You!!! Using Cheonma as a shield! Have you lost your mind!!"
"As long as neither of you died, it's fine."
"I nearly died!!"
[My dear, what were you planning to do if he actually died?]
'It's a comedy genre. Major characters don't die from stuff like this.'
Right now, the others were repairing the guild interior. There were no casualties, but the property damage was severe. Bullets that had ricocheted off the Cheonma Shield had left marks everywhere. The guild's martial artists began repairing the place with practiced efficiency, as if they'd done this many times before. Apparently, every time Cheonma entered the guild, he broke through the wall, so knowing how to fix walls was a basic requirement for joining.
Cheonma and I, however, were excluded from the repair work. Because—
"Hands down, you bastards."
"Sorry."
"My apologies..."
We were kneeling obediently in the corner with our hands raised. Hye-ji stood in front of us, eyes wide, keeping watch. Our punishment was for damaging guild property.
'...Technically, Hye-ji was the one who damaged the property.'
[If you're confident, say that out loud. You'll become Kim / Shin / Woo.]
"Hye-ji-ya."
"Speak."
"Even so, you're the one who damaged the property. Isn't it weird that I'm getting punished?"
"Done talking?"
Hye-ji pointed the gun at me.
"—is what Cheonma-nim said, right?"
"No! I never—"
- Tatatatang!!!!!!
Then she swung the gun toward Cheonma. Before he could protest, she pulled the trigger, pressing the rifle against his left thigh. Cheonma groaned and shot me a resentful glare.
"You son of a bitch!"
"Ah-ah! Hands up!"
Cheonma quickly raised his hands back toward the ceiling, worried they might drop. A small change appeared in his eyes—resentment turning to hatred. A number floated above Cheonma's head. He then put on a serious expression and turned to Hye-ji.
"Hye-ji. Last time, Shinu said even the Breast Enlargement Pill wouldn't work on your chest."
"You bastard! I never said that!"
"Shinu-ya, tell me. Do you think the Breast Enlargement Pill would work?"
Hye-ji's dead eyes bore into me. One wrong word here and I'd die. I had to choose my words carefully if I wanted to survive.
"Hye-ji-ya, the Breast Enlargement Pill just adds water to your current chest, right?"
"Go on."
"You're good at math. What's zero times two?"
"Zero."
"......Sorry."
- Bang! Bang!
Hye-ji calmly shot one bullet into each of my right and left thighs. Blood streamed down as I collapsed, unable to maintain my posture.
[My dear, are you alright?]
'At least I don't have to stand for punishment anymore. Huge win.'
The receptionist suddenly approached and poured potion over my wounds. The bullet holes quickly filled with flesh, leaving only faint scars.
"...What the hell."
"Your punishment isn't over yet~."
Seeing that I'd fully recovered, she smiled brightly and returned to the front desk. Just as I was about to glare at her resentfully, Hye-ji tapped the floor with her rifle.
"Hurry up and get back in position."
"Yes, ma'am."
While Hye-ji's attention was elsewhere, Jung Ayeon carefully approached me, carrying something in a black plastic bag. It looked like she'd brought snacks.
"Shinu Gongja. Are you alright?"
"It's a bit tough, but I can manage."
"Is that so? Then close your eyes and wait a moment."
'She's the only one who takes care of me.'
[You've gained one point toward making Jung Ayeon your main wife.]
With high expectations, I closed my eyes. I heard rustling as Jung Ayeon reached into the bag. Then I felt something heavy on my thigh. Curious about what snack she'd given me, I opened my eyes.
"Ahem... There we go."
".......What is this."
"The guest over there sent it."
It was a piece of rebar that had been cut off. Jung Ayeon pointed toward the center of the guild while chewing on something with obvious enjoyment. There stood a skinny old man in a training uniform. His uniform looked higher quality than the others, and people passing by bowed to him.
"The Guild Master told me to place this on your knee."
"Why listen to someone whose life is about to end?"
"I'm already struggling to look good, and now you've brought two human disasters here! Of course I'm nervous!!!!!!"
Jung Ayeon slammed the rebar on my thigh with both hands to emphasize her anger. It hurt, obviously.
"Damn it, that hurts, stop it."
[Pain is youth.]
'Pain means you're a patient, you bastard.'
I gestured at the bag with my chin.
"What's in the bag then! Isn't it snacks?"
"It is. But these are for me to eat."
"What about mine?"
"Why would I feed snacks to someone as unappealing as you!!!"
[......This is supposed to be a heroine?]
'Main wife, my ass. I'd rather lock her in a hospital room, you bastard.'
Jung Ayeon turned her back and walked away—after slamming the rebar down a few more times, of course. Cheonma, who'd been watching, snickered loudly. The laughter was too loud, drawing Hye-ji's aggro again. He took a three-round burst to the thigh before finally falling silent. Our punishment continued until the guild's interior repairs were complete.