It Was a Perfect Plan... Until the President Turned Out to Be a Deranged Monster Fucker
The world is full of abnormal sexual fetishes. But that doesn't mean they're always accepted. Let's take a look at a globally popular franchise about pocket monsters. That series features countless humanoid and beast-type creatures. Occasionally, there are people who lust after those monsters, but even among those perverts, there are different categories. Let's take a simple example. "I cum inside Gardevoir" versus "I cum inside Garchomp." Don't you feel the difference right from the start? The former might still be debatable. After all, Gardevoir can't be helped. But the latter? Most people would consider that guy completely insane.
And the Academy President? 'There wasn't a single humanoid one. It was all beast-type monsters.' He falls squarely into the latter category.
In the secret space the President had created, he was forcing the monsters into bondage and restraint play. For the first time, I found myself missing the Monster Rights Organization.
[I still can't believe there wasn't a single humanoid one.]
How are you going to handle this?
"For now, I can't do anything."
I had asked the Lizard Beastman to secretly install high-performance cameras. I wanted to go myself, but seeing the desperate looks in those monsters' eyes, I knew my feet wouldn't move.
Destroying the Academy. Securing evidence against the President. This would be the beginning of that grand plan.
Right now, I don't have nearly enough power. To fill that gap, what does a protagonist need? That's right. A finishing move.
It's only natural for protagonists to have one or two ultimate techniques. Energy Wave, Moon Fang Heaven-Piercer, Gear 4, and so on.
[Hey! How dare you try to freeload off those masterpieces!]
"Hey, riding the bus is a skill too, you know."
And right now. Standing in front of me is Professor Marina.
"So, Student Shinwoo, you're telling me you called me here to help you create a powerful technique?"
"Yes. Please help me make a finishing move."
"....Ha....."
The moment class ended, I had sensed something ominous and blocked Professor Marina's escape route as she tried to flee. Before she could even ask what I wanted, I begged for help learning a new skill. I'd already told the cafeteria I'd be taking a day off, citing that I'd become too mentally exhausted over the weekend.
But... those moans of "Nngh~ Ahhh!" keep echoing in my head.
[Shut up. You're making me remember it too.]
Still, I didn't just shove the request down Professor Marina's throat. What era is this? The era where brute-forcing things gets you immediately condemned. So of course I presented her with options.
"What kind of choices are 'Yes' and 'I understand' supposed to be?!"
"Should I have made it a multiple-choice with three options? Including 'Sounds good'?"
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!!"
[Don't exams usually have five choices? You should have added 'Of course' and 'Absolutely' as well.]
Ah, my thinking was too shallow.
Apparently moved by my perfect selection of choices, Professor Marina let out a cheer and swung her whip wildly in every direction to express her joy. As expected, I have a good eye for people. Once her excitement died down, Professor Marina looked at me with tired eyes.
"So, do you have any technique in mind?"
"I'm trying to make use of what I learned from the Heavenly Demon last time, but it's pretty tough."
"You mean gathering mana in your hands?"
"Yes. I want to use a Death Beam too."
"......For now, it seems coming to me was the right choice."
Professor Marina rolled up her whip and fastened it to her waist, then raised just her right index finger. Before long, a blue haze began to shimmer at her fingertip.
"We usually call this mana condensation."
"You mean focusing it in one spot?"
"Yes. Think of it as circulating the mana that flows through your body as fluid, then condensing it at your extremities into a solid form. That makes it a bit easier to understand."
Then, suddenly, Professor Marina pointed her index finger at me.
"Yah!"
"Mommy, fuck."
Having sensed something was off from the very beginning, I'd already dodged to the side. A thin blue line shot out from the blue haze blooming at Professor Marina's fingertip. It pierced exactly where I had been standing just moments ago.
"What a shame."
"You crazy bitch."
Professor Marina casually spat out words of regret as if it were nothing.
"Anyway, this is how you use it."
"......That's not the important part. I almost just died, you fucking lizard-brain."
Professor Marina blew on her index finger like it was a gun barrel. Only then did she finally activate the dueling arena's safety system.
That Yankee bitch dares to try to kill an Asian? What a racist piece of shit.
[Show her the power of the Yellow Monkey!]
No, you fucking idiot, you can't say that either.
Hatred makes for excellent motivation. And sure enough, just from that resentment alone, a translucent haze was already rising from my fingertips. From all ten of them, in fact.
Professor Marina, seeing the mana condensed at the tip of each finger, let out a gasp of admiration.
"That's exactly it!"
"Really?"
When praised, one must return the favor. I immediately pointed my fingertips at Professor Marina.
"Die!!! You old spinster!!!"
"That's forbidden!!! You son of a bitch!!!"
The translucent beams shooting from my fingertips began to fill the dueling arena.
I boldly fired off the translucent beams from my fingertips. Each one carried tremendous power, literally pulverizing every corner of the dueling arena. Up to this point, things were going well.
But then.
"Hey, Student Shinwoo! Are you a fucking idiot? I'm right in front of you, so why can't you hit me?!"
"This aim is broken!"
That's right. As I've said several times before. My aim is absolute dogshit. Thanks to that, most of the beams that left my fingertips bent at angles far beyond ninety degrees. Even though Professor Marina was standing right in front of me. One of them did head toward her, but it was so slow she could have dodged it standing still. Some of the released beams even flew backward and struck my own body. My physique was completely unsuited for long-range attacks.
[As expected, you really are a top laner. You don't use long-range attacks at all.]
This is bullshit. Still, I refuse to acknowledge Top Bane as a top laner.
[What are you talking about? There's Top Lucian, Top Qiyana, and Top Akshan too.]
No way!!!!!!!! Those don't count as top laners at all!!!!!!!
After several attempts with no sign of improvement, Professor Marina made a different suggestion.
"Student Shinwoo. Since you can't hit anything anyway, just use it in close range."
"You mean condense mana into my fist and use the Heavenly Demon Punch?"
Professor Marina's expression stiffened slightly. As if to say, stop talking nonsense.
"......When using the extremities of the body, what method do you think would maximize the surface area of contact with the opponent?"
"If I knew that, I wouldn't have started this chapter."
"Aaaaaaaaaaagh!! Fuck, seriously!!!!"
Once again overwhelmed with excitement, Professor Marina flailed around, unable to contain her joy. It wasn't exactly the behavior of a proper teacher, but I let it slide.
"Among the hands, the one with the largest surface area is the palm!!! It's the palm!!!"
"Oh, is that so?"
"It's not 'Oh, is that so?' — it's 'Condense the mana in your palm and explode it!!!'"
"You make it sound so simple."
"Fuuuuuuck! You braindead bastard!!!"
Professor Marina was so overjoyed that she lost her mind and started tearing at her hair. That was my chance. I quickly dashed toward Professor Marina. As I ran, I circulated mana through my right arm and condensed it across my entire palm. Only then did Professor Marina notice my approach and begin to panic severely.
"Student Shinwoo! Wait just a moment!"
"Take this! Rasengan!"
[My dear! That technique already has copyright protection!]
That was close.
[...Didn't I already tell you that?]
To avoid getting reported, I quickly revised the technique name. Right. Since I learned it from the Heavenly Demon, his name should be in it. Here it comes.
Cheonma Repulsor
I stepped forward with my left foot. From that stance, I put strength into my waist and thrust my right hand forward. The moment my outstretched right palm made contact with Professor Marina's stomach, I released all the condensed mana in my palm.
"Kyaaaaaaaaaah!"
The translucent haze rising from my palm exploded with a bang, sending Professor Marina flying into the distance. A high-pitched scream completely unfitting for her age. Using that as background music, Professor Marina flew through the air for quite a while before tumbling disgracefully across the ground.
My finishing move is already complete!
[My dear? Where did your arm go?]
Huh?...?
Apparently I had messed up the mana control. Below my right shoulder, there was only a hideous tear where my arm had been ripped off. And in exchange, my right arm had become irregularly sized chunks of flesh scattered around Professor Marina.
Fuck, it's a one-time use.
[Since you've already lost your right arm, why not try becoming an alchemist who surpasses the Elric brothers?]
Fortunately, when I deactivated the dueling arena system, my arm returned to normal. At the same time, all of Professor Marina's injuries were fully healed. The moment all her wounds recovered, Professor Marina came sprinting toward me like a madwoman.
"You son of a bitch!!!! Who the hell fires a technique point-blank like that?!"
"Still, Professor! Thanks to you, I made one finishing move!"
"Ha......Anyway, what are your impressions?"
"You might want to lose some belly fat."
Apparently deciding further conversation was pointless, Professor Marina began swinging her whip at me. While dodging the snake-like lashes, a brilliant idea suddenly occurred to me. What if I channeled mana into the weapon I was holding? Wouldn't that create an aura?
Aura. What a beautiful ring that word has. It's a technique that any web novel protagonist should know by default. Dodging the fiercely incoming whip, I grabbed an iron sword from the weapon storage box beside me. The moment I suddenly picked up a weapon, Professor Marina began to grow wary.
"You're not seriously going to fight me, are you?"
There was no need to answer. I could just show her the results. I immediately began pouring mana into the iron sword in my hand. Finally realizing what I was doing, Professor Marina shouted desperately.
"Student Shinwoo!! Please stop that right now!! 5252."
She's jealous of my growth? The more someone tries to stop you, the more you want to do it. Naturally, seeing Professor Marina desperately trying to stop me only fueled my fighting spirit. The mana circulating through me increased in proportion. Soon, the iron sword began to emit a bright light from within. I raised the glowing sword high.
"Behold this light! Gondor calls for aid!"
"Stop!"
The light pouring from the iron sword grew even brighter.
- BOOM!!!!!!!!
"...Huh?"
- Squelch.
Along with a massive flash, the iron sword exploded. In return, a shard of the blade lodged itself in my eye. I stared blankly at the sword that now consisted of nothing but a hilt, using my remaining right eye.
"What went wrong? It was a perfect plan..."
When I turned my head toward Professor Marina, she too wore a completely drained expression. Then she flopped down right where she stood.
Sniff, Professor. So you were worried about me after all.
[So there are still some proper professors left in the Academy.]
"It's not even been a year... and I have to write another report?"
Professor Marina left not even a speck of room for any感动.
I should have known better than to expect anything, fuck.
[Sorry. There was never any such thing as a proper professor to begin with.]