Don't Worry. This Novel Is All-Ages
Countless merciless hooks hammered into my mind without any cooldown whatsoever. Yet I still couldn't understand the current situation at all.
Husband? Husband? Husband?
We had clearly met for the first time today. So why was she suddenly calling me husband?
Why? Who is she? Why? Who is she? Why? Who is she?
[...It seems we have already gone as far as one can go.]
At that moment, mirror fragments from Elsia appeared in my vision. It looked like she had regressed after witnessing a specific future.
When she returned from the future, was I her boyfriend or her husband?
[This body thinks the same, one declares. Otherwise such words could never have emerged.]
The choice was set in stone. I focused on the mirror fragments and began watching the regression Elsia had experienced. Whether I liked it or not. To learn the reason.
Just like before, light leaked from the mirror, then faded, and my vision slowly returned. The moment it did, I immediately selected fast-forward.
There's a time limit, so I'll just hit the highlights and get it over with.
[This body also finds watching the full match exhausting, one declares.]
The footage before me suddenly vanished. In its place, a scene from a specific point in time began to rise. As soon as the video started playing, the first thing I saw was "me" and Elsia inside a dark room.
"I" looked slightly more mature than I did now, while Elsia looked the same except for hair that was far longer than her current style. There, "I" was pinned beneath her, and Elsia was straddling me, our bodies overlapping.
I unconsciously let out a cheer. If they were lovers, what else would it be? Intense, passionate baby-making piston action was the absolute standard.
In the future, I had become an alpha male who ended up with an elf.
Oh right. Fuck. This novel is supposed to be all-ages.
[Since when did you start caring about that? More importantly, skip ahead a little. It is hard to see, is it not?]
Elsia was on top of "me," diligently rolling her hips. The classic cowgirl position. I studied her as she moved.
The first thing that stood out was the expression on Elsia's face while she rode "me." She wore an ecstatic, almost embarrassed look, both hands pressed to her cheeks. She appeared incredibly happy.
Her enormous chest followed the laws of inertia, bouncing faithfully in time with every movement of her waist. Far from slowing down, her hips only accelerated.
Right then, red warning lights began flashing all around as if the time limit had already expired.
Hey! Fuck! It's still the opening scene!!!!!
[It is so!! This cannot be interrupted midway, one declares!!!]
Even if it wrecks all my stamina, I'm watching this to the end!!
[A splendid idea! Our hearts have connected for the first time!!]
From what I could see, the two lovers appeared to be engaged in sincere baby-making pistoning. Elsia expressed with her entire body just how blissful the moment was. Her lewd moans grew louder and louder. Between them, her voice kept saying "I love you." Even while panting, her intense eyes showed an iron will that refused to let go.
If one overlooked two very minor details, it was identical to a typical adult video. The first detail was that "my" limbs were tied to the bed. The second was that both "my" eyes and mouth were completely blocked.
[Dear? When this body looked through Hitomi, you did not seem to possess such tastes?]
Please say "through my eyes (Hitomi)." The phrasing sounds weird. Anyway, it must be Elsia's preference.
[That must be the case. Well, it is not an incomprehensible taste, one declares.]
If they're lovers or married, something like that is perfectly possible with mutual consent.
That much was acceptable. At least it wasn't something dangerous like passing-out play.
[Indeed. Seeing that, one understands why that elf calls you husband.]
For now, since it's hot as hell, let's finish watching and think later. Wow, those breasts are actually insane.
[Hye-ji would have every right to hate this. Let us watch more and think. This body finds it interesting as well, one declares.]
The two had already reached climax. The "me" underneath and Elsia on top were both shuddering violently. After the brief afterglow that followed their peak, Elsia steadied herself and reached out to remove "my" blindfold and gag while still connected on top.
So I really do end up dating an elf.
[This body finds it fascinating too. Even if mixed-blood, she is still a high elf. Congratulations in advance, one declares.]
I watched the scene with a warm, satisfied smile. At the same time, a small bud of expectation bloomed in one corner of my heart. I wondered what it would feel like when my consciousness returned to the present.
Then I suddenly looked around. Unlike the heated scene, the room itself looked utterly desolate. The walls were bare. The only furniture was a bed and a desk. It looked even worse than a dorm room.
[There is nothing inside the room.]
I'm living a bleak life both now and in the future.
The moment I sank into that thought...
...Huh? Wait a second.
[What is it?]
This is insane.
The faint sense of unease I had felt at the beginning suddenly snowballed. The enormous discomfort transformed into a warning that swept through my entire body. Just then, the voice in my head seemed to reach the same conclusion.
There are... no windows?
[...There is nothing that can tell the time.]
No wonder I couldn't tell exactly when this was...
The surroundings were already flashing bright red like crazy, as if the time limit had expired long ago. To me, those crimson flashes felt like warnings directed at my arousal-heightened mood.
Dangerous.
At that moment, Elsia's voice began to flow out.
"It's all husband's fault. You seduced me with that lewd body yet ignored me every single time."
"Mmph!!!"
"You kept refusing to look at me, so I had no choice but to resort to these violent methods."
Right then, Elsia finished removing both the blindfold and gag. She smiled brightly at "me," whose limbs were still bound.
"I finally get to see my husband's face."
"Huk... huk..."
"Does husband think this is rape right now?"
The bound "me," still breathing raggedly, began to ponder. After a moment of thought, an answer slipped from "my" lips.
"No, this is love-rape."
Hmm, as expected of "me." Speaking the truth.
[Dear? Have you lost your mind?]
Elsia clapped her hands and smiled radiantly. The smile, however, looked distinctly ominous.
"That's wonderful! Then since it's mutual consent, now we'll—"
At that instant the entire space turned blood-red, and my consciousness began to sink.
Back in the original timeline.
As the colorless world slowly regained its hues one by one, the voice inside my head spoke up.
[Dear? What was that nonsense earlier? Were you not being raped?]
Think about it. Suddenly "I" was tied up in an unknown place and getting milked, right?
[...It did not appear that your will was involved at all.]
Of course it was possible my will wasn't involved. But this still wasn't rape.
But when the blindfold came off, what I saw was an incredibly beautiful elf.
[...And?]
The voice in my head still didn't understand and remained full of questions. I answered confidently to clear them up.
From that moment on, it became rape-to-pure-love. It's love-rape.
[Silence!!! Do not insult pure love!!!!!!!!!!!]
Ack!!!! My head hurts!!!!
The moment the deafening roar echoed inside my skull, every color in the world finally returned. As the world slowly began to move again, I tried to open my mouth. If only the crushing wave of fatigue hadn't hit me first.
It must have been the price for watching the future for so long. On top of that, unlike before, my head started spinning as if I were suffering severe anemia. But the worst of all was my left eye, which felt like it was about to explode from the pain.
[Dear? Are you all right? Your condition looks quite serious, one declares.]
Fuck, why does this hurt so much? Even a loan shark would be gentler than this.
[So are you regretting it?]
I don't have a single regret in my entire life!
I had zero regrets. My body, however, was completely wrecked. I couldn't even lift my head, let alone an arm, beneath the crushing fatigue.
But to Elsia, who was still holding my hand, it seemed to be interpreted differently. She suddenly blushed as if embarrassed, then released my hand and pressed it to her own face, speaking in ecstasy.
"You must have been too shy. Don't worry, husband. I'll take good care of you."
The classroom immediately erupted. At the same time, countless burdensome stares stabbed toward me.
Voices steeped in jealousy and rage. In the middle of the chaos, someone made a sharp observation.
"Hey, wait. So that bastard tore up the opposing candidates just to get his wife elected?"
"Isn't that a violation of election law!!"
The classroom was turning into a real-time pandemonium. Elsia said nothing and simply raised her hand. Only then did the uproar slowly subside.
Once the classroom had fallen completely silent, Elsia finally spoke.
"You must be surprised, but the truth is we met each other for the first time today."
"Then why did you call him husband!"
Someone from the back asked in an extremely aggrieved voice. It seemed he had been harboring feelings for Elsia.
"That is simply..."
Elsia paused and tried to meet my eyes. I struggled to lift my head. After gazing into my eyes for a moment, she turned back to the entire classroom.
"The moment I saw him at first glance, I was convinced he was my husband."
With those words, Elsia clasped my hand again with both of hers and pulled it toward her voluptuous momma dispenser. It felt like the force of universal gravitation itself. Before I could even think, my hand was naturally drawn toward that massive symbol of motherhood.
Of course, the attempt...
- SLAP!!!
Ended in failure, thanks to a certain someone.
"Don't snipe with a higher bid!!!! You fucking breast monster!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hye-ji, who had been frozen until now, screamed at the top of her lungs and swatted Elsia's hand away. A single black number now floated above her head.