Delivery and Packages Are Welcome Anywhere. A Head-On Assault Is Insanity.
Delivery and packages are welcome anywhere. A head-on assault is pure insanity. We had no idea how many people were inside the mansion. Rushing in blind like that would only end in disaster. Sure, we had the all-purpose cheat key Hye-ji with us, but using her recklessly wasn't exactly easy. Unauthorized use of abilities was the kind of thing that could get you hauled off by the state. Korea truly was a spicy country for real hunters.
So.
"Who goes there!"
"Halt!"
We chose a different approach. What weakens a person's vigilance the most? Delivery. What a beautiful word. No matter how vicious or ruthless someone might be, they simply can't resist a delivery. We decided to slip through that very gap in their awareness.
Using Caersi's card, Jeong Bia bought four helmets, four baggy outfits, and one massive bag that could easily hold two people with room to spare. The plan was to stuff one person inside the bag and march straight into the mansion.
Rock-paper-scissors decided that Elsia would be the one going into the bag. Right now, we were stacking a towering pile of food on top of her as she lay inside it.
"Do we really need to pack all this food?"
"If we want to avoid suspicion, we have to go all out."
I casually swatted away Elsia's hand as it naturally reached out from within the pile.
"Don't you dare eat the delivery. I'll kill you."
"Tch. What a waste."
[You damn food thief bastard!]
'Death penalty. Straight up death penalty.'
Just to be safe, we waited until noon the next day. Showing up in the middle of the night would have been suspicious as hell. The guards had just changed shifts, so we figured it was the perfect timing. We all pulled on our helmets and approached the guards. The bag was huge, so one person held each corner as we carefully carried it forward.
Something seemed to be making noise inside, but with the guards glaring at us, we didn't have time to worry about it. I spoke to the wary succubus guards as naturally as possible.
"Delivery."
"I see. Come right in."
In an instant, the succubus guards' vigilance melted away. The moment one of them moved to open the door, another guard suddenly frowned and voiced his doubt.
"Wait a second! What the hell kind of delivery needs a bag that big?!"
It was a very fundamental question. I answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"It's all food?"
"What kind of pig bastard eats that much?!"
"Hey, hold on. That actually checks out."
The guard who had been about to open the door stopped the growling one and spoke.
"Remember that guest who came this time? Nakadashi or whatever."
"Ah... that fucking pig? Isn't his name Kadashi?"
"Apparently his mother's surname comes first, so we're supposed to call him that now."
"Oh. The name itself is actually pretty succubus-like?"
'The name Jeong Ayeon sounds like a damn fairy, though.'
The two guards nodded with understanding expressions.
"Just leave it there. We'll pass it along."
"They said they'd pay on site?"
At my words, the two succubus guards exchanged silent glances, clearly wondering what to do. I drove the final nail in.
"Or were you planning to pay for it yourselves?"
"Please, come right in!"
"It's at the far right end of the first floor!"
Without the slightest hesitation, they quickly opened the door, and we walked in naturally. Still, they were somewhat competent. The very guard who had suspected us earlier called out just as we got close to the mansion.
"Wait just a moment! Could you show us the contents?"
But we'd prepared for this. The food was piled sky-high. There was nothing to worry about.
Then came Piece's sharp observation flying at me out of nowhere.
'......Ah, fuck.'
A new worry suddenly appeared. I cautiously opened the bag just a crack, and sure enough, there was Elsia chewing away.
"You crazy bitch, why the hell are you eating that?!"
"I'm starving! I feel like I'm actually going to die!"
"What if we get caught?!"
The rest of the group started shooting me worried looks. Right on cue, the succubus guard approached us. Before I could stop her—
"I'll open it."
"Just a second!"
The succubus guard flung the delivery bag wide open. And what she saw was...
"No problem here."
"......Huh?"
A mountain of food piled like a landslide. Not a single strand of Elsia's hair was visible. While I stood there stunned, the succubus guard let out a small sigh.
"Please finish your delivery quickly and leave."
"Ah... Yes. Understood."
She even kindly closed the delivery bag for us before returning to her post. A moment later, the succubus guards suddenly sprinted inside the mansion as if they'd been called. After confirming no one was watching, I quietly cracked the bag open again.
"Husband! We meet again!"
"Whew."
Elsia's beaming smile greeted me. A sigh of relief escaped me without thinking. I opened my mouth toward her again.
"Weren't you eating everything in there?"
"As if!"
Elsia puffed out her cheeks cutely.
"Did you really think I'd be that thoughtless?"
"Yeah."
"That's so mean!"
Anyway, it was a pretty shocking situation. I lightly bonked her on the head, partly to vent my frustration.
"Ow!"
"You scared the shit out of me, damn it."
"Ah, but wait a second!"
Suddenly Elsia held up something with her index finger. It was a wallet of a design I'd never seen before.
"What the...?"
"I swiped it when the succubus opened the bag earlier!"
"Nice work."
With that, I closed the delivery bag again and we entered the mansion properly.
The moment we stepped inside, a truly miserable sight greeted us. The place was a mess of broken furniture everywhere, proving that intruders really had gone wild. Since no one was watching, we followed Jeong Bia's lead and moved forward.
"......You fucking bastard, what are you doing?"
"Just grabbing a few things to take with us."
"You crazy bastard! Don't steal our house decorations!"
"I'm not stealing. I'm just picking up things that fell."
Of course, anything that looked valuable went neatly into the delivery bag along the way. Elsia didn't need to be told—she was devouring food every time an item came in, making space. Our coordination in this area was flawless.
Hye-ji and Caersi watched me and started scolding.
"Shinwoo, that's so petty."
"Exactly, nya. Getting worked up over such small things is just pathetic, nya."
"You heard them? Stop acting like a damn dog!"
'Fuck.'
Jeong Bia seemed empowered by their combined attack and joined in insulting me. Then Hye-ji and Caersi continued.
"If you're going to take stuff, don't grab the broken ones. Take the new ones."
"Take that one, nya! That's pretty expensive, nya!"
They gave the best possible advice. Jeong Bia looked betrayed, especially by Caersi, and cried out in injustice.
"Wait! Fuck, why is even the Saintess doing this?!"
"Purging a den of demons is the duty of a saintess, nya."
"As expected of our Caersi. You finally betrayed me today, huh?"
Once the delivery bag had gotten reasonably heavy, we arrived at Jeong Ayeon's room on the third floor, guided by Jeong Bia. The moment we flung the door open, the scene inside came into view.
A very modest and tidy space that contrasted sharply with the luxurious mansion. In the center stood Jeong Ayeon in a wedding dress, her back to us with her hands clasped behind her. Since no one else seemed to be around, she had probably cleared the room to stop intruders.
Right then, sensing our presence, Jeong Ayeon turned around and spoke.
"Who are you? There is still time before the wedding."
"Delivery."
The moment Jeong Ayeon looked puzzled—
"......Delivery?"
- Click.
I slapped handcuffs on Jeong Ayeon's hands behind her back. The cuffs were, of course, the ones Elsia always carried. Feeling the sudden restraint, Jeong Ayeon immediately panicked.
"W-who are you?!"
"We received a delivery request."
Jeong Ayeon struggled and looked at us, but we were all wearing helmets. She couldn't identify us. Seeing the bewilderment and fear on her face, I spoke in the most sleazy voice I could manage.
"They said the money doesn't matter, just bring the body."
".......You fucking disgusting Prince Shinwoo! Where is my money?!"
"Shit. How the hell did you know?"
"The way you spoke suddenly pissed me off. It could only be you, Prince."
Jeong Ayeon instantly saw through my identity. She looked around, recognized the others too, and let out a deep sigh.
"Prince, Lady Hyeji, Lady Caersi, and... even my sister... What exactly have you all come here to do?"
"What else? We're here to take you."
"......"
When I grabbed Jeong Ayeon and started pulling her, she spoke with a resigned, tormented expression.
"Let me go. There is nowhere left for this lady to go. It is over."
"This is Yogiyo Express. We have to hurry."
"Stop! Have you thought about the consequences?!"
"Consequences?"
At Jeong Ayeon's words, we paused and exchanged glances. We didn't say anything, but the meaning got through. Everyone nodded.
"I'll take care of that in the next next episode!"
"Wow, fuck. What a reliable sight!"
Even Brother Ian Perkus sometimes borrowed power from future Ian. I believe in you, future me!
We began shoving the struggling Jeong Ayeon into the delivery bag.
"This lady will get in by herself! So stop pushing!"
"Get in already. We're short on time."
"Understood."
Jeong Ayeon's face was extremely dark with worry about what was to come. But at the same time, fragments of other emotions showed on her face too. The guilt of having worried us. The感动 of us actually coming. A small hope that things might actually be okay. And gratitude for us risking danger to save her.
As Jeong Ayeon was being put into the delivery bag, she suddenly looked at the contents and tilted her head.
"Don't these things inside look very familiar?"
"Kids! Jeong Ayeon says she can't fit! Stuff her in faster!"
"No! Wait! Let me talk—"
Excluding Jeong Bia, Hye-ji, Caersi, and I were stepping on Jeong Ayeon and cramming her into the bag. Meanwhile, Elsia inside quickly covered Jeong Ayeon's mouth. After briefly breaking free from Elsia's hand, Jeong Ayeon quickly asked me.
"Aren't these this lady's house decorations?"
The moment she finished speaking, Elsia's hand covered her mouth again. I zipped up the delivery bag and quietly muttered.
"Not anymore."
Anyway, we'd secured a decent amount of compensation and our target Jeong Ayeon. Now it was time to escape.