Point of No Return
The infirmary carried a faint, sharp tang of alcohol. That was where Hye-ji and I opened our eyes almost at the same time. Still half-asleep, neither of us had any idea what was going on. We just stared blankly into space.
Judging by how my body felt, I’d apparently passed out face-down on the bed. No wonder my back hurt like a fucking bitch. I let go of the hand I’d been holding with Hye-ji’s, pushed my stiff body upright, and stretched.
Hye-ji, whose mind still hadn’t caught up, was staring endlessly at her left hand. Then life slowly returned to her eyes and she started freaking out like a cat that had been dunked in water.
“Huh? Huh? Ah! Ah!”
“Sleep well, Hye-ji?”
But Hye-ji didn’t have time to answer me. She pointed straight at me and stammered, “Y-you! Why were you holding my hand?!”
“You’re the one who asked me to hold it yesterday! Please don’t report me! I didn’t do anything!”
“Eh?… Oh… Oh, right. Yeah. That’s right.”
That was close. The protagonist getting hit with a MeToo on chapter thirteen? Turning a comedy novel into “But I really didn’t do it”? No. Absolutely not.
Once Hye-ji had come to her senses, we tidied up the bed together. Since no one else was around, we simply left the infirmary and headed back to the dorms. Hye-ji’s movements looked strangely stiff, but I ignored it. She did say she was still growing, after all.
The moment I got back to the dorm and stepped out of the shower, I noticed the books I’d borrowed ages ago. That instantly reminded me of the librarian who’d nagged me about the return deadline. And then the realization hit.
Ah. They’re overdue. Fuck.
I went to the library, paid the overdue fines down to the last penny, and came back intending to take a nice nap. But as if stomping on my hopes, a call came in from an unknown number.
“Who is this?”
“This is Professor Miran.”
“What do you want?”
“Kim Shinu. You remember making discriminatory remarks about occupations during yesterday’s duel, right?”
I searched my memory. If it was about occupational discrimination, it had to be the part where I called supporters tools.
“Didn’t we agree to let it slide?”
“Student Kim Shinu. You’re going to have to do some volunteer work around the academy today because of that.”
“Wait, isn’t this a bit much for a student who just came back from an intense fight?”
“Come out right now. Keep arguing and I’ll make things even worse for you.”
Her voice was dripping with personal resentment. Just to be sure, I decided to voice my suspicion.
“Be honest. This is because I’m dating Jeong, isn’t it?”
“Get out here.”
Yup. It’s that bitch.
In the end, I spent the entire Saturday—the day I was supposed to be resting—doing volunteer work all over the academy. Landscaping flower beds. Cleaning bathrooms. Helping in the cafeteria. Scrubbing the dorm hallways and stairs. Walking the dog.
You might think the last one sounds weird. But what could I do? The dog the cafeteria raised apparently outranked me in academy seniority, so they told me to treat it like royalty. The only problem was that when I first saw it, I didn’t even realize it was a dog.
“A pig?”
The dog was so fat it was genuinely hard to tell apart from an actual pig. At least the way it barked made it seem like it might actually be a dog.
While dragging the dog along, I started having pointless thoughts.
In the military they say military dogs outrank soldiers. Do I have to salute every time I see one?
That thought lasted only a moment. The dog took a few steps and immediately collapsed from exhaustion. Then it gave me the most pitiful look, begging to be carried. Yeah, no chance in hell, you little shit.
When I started dragging the unwilling dog by force, it suddenly got up and started walking again. Once we finished the walk and reached the cafeteria, the dog instantly perked up and bolted inside. It immediately shoved its head into the food waste bin.
So that’s what they mean by dog-pig?
Anyway, the volunteer work was finally over. I stopped by the convenience store and bought a lunch box and cup ramen to handle my meal. While paying, I noticed contact lenses for sale behind the cashier.
Ah. Jackpot.
The second I thought I should use them tomorrow, I impulsively bought one pair.
Jung Ayeon. You’re dead.
[Green miniskirt maid outfit. White stockings.]
[Sunday morning, 10:30 AM. In front of the cafeteria. Answer with “Hait!” Speak formally.]
On Friday I had sent Jung Ayeon a simple message with those instructions. And then the day of the decisive battle arrived.
Around 10:30 on Sunday morning, Jung Ayeon showed up in front of the cafeteria dressed exactly as I’d ordered. A short green maid dress with white frills on the sleeves and hem, paired with matching white stockings. She hadn’t missed a single detail.
Hye-ji and I looked at her and smiled more wickedly than we ever had before as we walked into the cafeteria. We took seats right in the center where everyone could see us clearly. Then we watched Jung Ayeon enter, clutching the hem of her skirt with both hands and looking extremely awkward.
“Ugh! You perverted demon!”
“Don’t worry. This is just the beginning.”
“Yeah. Like Shinu said, the real fun starts now.”
Jung Ayeon pointed at Hye-ji with one hand while still gripping her skirt with the other.
“Have you also fallen for Young Master Shinu? Did you seduce another man before me?!”
“I’m a girl too, you fucking idiot!”
“Shouldn’t you start by speaking formally first?”
“…Yes, Master. Please give your order.”
After a short breath, I shouted at the top of my lungs.
“Hey! Waitress! One carbonara over here!”
“……What?”
Jung Ayeon looked like she’d heard something she couldn’t possibly have heard and asked again.
“Did you not hear me, waitress? I’ll say it once more. Please make one carbonara for us!”
“Young Master Shinu, is that all? Hey waitress! One rosé pasta and a steak, medium rare!”
“Stop it! A waitress works at an inn! And besides, a waitress wouldn’t wear something like this!”
“Tsk tsk. When you receive an order you’re supposed to answer with ‘Hait!’ Isn’t it almost time for your internal energy cultivation brunch?”
“…Hait, fuck.”
Jung Ayeon ground her teeth audibly and went to take our order. But a short while later she returned with an even more dead-eyed expression than before.
“…It’s still before lunch hours, so you have to order through the device over there.”
“Oh no! It’s internal energy brunch time and yet our luck is so poor. Lady Hye-ji, I shall return shortly.”
“Young Master Shinu. You should make the waitress do it. This kind of experience is what evolves a waitress into a full waitress.”
“Shut up!!!!! That word doesn’t exist anywhere in this world!!!”
“Now now! A waitress cannot evolve like that. Hurry and place the order through the kiosk.”
This time Jung Ayeon bit her lip hard as she operated the kiosk. With bloodshot eyes and actual blood dripping from her bitten lip, she slammed her finger against the screen repeatedly. Eventually a professor who had sneaked into the student cafeteria to eat got angry at her for breaking the machine. Of course, the professor who got caught was dragged away before he could even finish his meal.
Why the hell is a professor eating in the student cafeteria? Have you no shame?
We started eating the food Jung Ayeon brought back. Naturally, there was no portion for Jung Ayeon herself. A waitress has to work, after all.
She bowed her head earlier. She didn’t spit in it, did she?
For some reason I felt uneasy. At the same time, the despicable thought that the waitress might have tampered with the food crossed my mind. While eating, I looked at Jung Ayeon and said,
“Waitress. Do you happen to know anything about martial arts novels?”
“Please speak.”
“The ‘Hwa’ in Hwasan Sect is actually the character for fire (火).”
Jung Ayeon ground her teeth again.
“I think you are mistaken. The ‘Hwa’ in Hwasan Sect is not that character—”
“That’s why the signature sword technique of the Plum Blossom Sword Saint is ‘Fire Arrow.’”
“Stop!!!!!!!!!”
Jung Ayeon clutched her head and screamed. Hye-ji, who had been eating with her head down, clicked her tongue at me.
“Young Master Shinu. You still cannot keep up with the meta? Why are you so obsessed with old sword techniques?”
“Lady Hye-ji. Would you care to explain?”
“After the emergency patch, ‘Fire Arrow’ was nerfed, so they say people now use ‘Fake Plum Blossom, Fake Plum Blossom.’”
“As expected of the spirit of Undine, the fire elemental of the volcano. It doesn’t even flinch at nerfs.”
“Stop insulting martial arts novels!!!!!!!!”
Jung Ayeon glared at us like she wanted to kill us. From the table beside us came the sound of someone muttering. It was Jung Ayeon’s older sister. She was tearing at her hair with bloodshot eyes, muttering exactly like her sister.
“Undine is the water elemental, you fucking idiots. Hwasan uses the ‘Hwa’ that means splendid (華).”
Nope. Not today. Today it’s the wind elemental Salamander and the water elemental Gnome. Keep it up and I’ll show you the Hwasan Sect’s ultimate realm, Plum Family True Fire.
I patted the shoulder of Jung Ayeon, who still hadn’t recovered from the shock, and made her look at me. Then I handed her the contact lenses I’d bought yesterday. The lenses were red.
“This should be enough. You worked hard. This is a gift for all your suffering.”
“Hoo… Since you call it a gift, I shall gratefully accept it. But there is only one?”
“Ah, you only need to wear one. Put it in your left eye.”
“Understood.”
Jung Ayeon inserted the lens I gave her into her left eye. Now her right eye was its original green while her left eye was red. At the same time, she was currently wearing a green outfit. Preparations were perfect.
“What is the meaning of this?”
“It’s merely preparation to receive a certain teaching.”
“A teaching?”
Jung Ayeon showed interest at the word “teaching.” I spoke calmly so as not to ruin the moment.
“It is a gesture of respect toward a warrior who once fought with green in his right eye and fire and blood in his left.”
“Oh! There was such a warrior?”
“He actually became even more famous in modern times. Almost no one doesn’t know him.”
“This lady’s learning is still insufficient. To not even know something like this.”
I grabbed the shoulder of a slightly depressed-looking Jung Ayeon and said,
“It’s fine. I only learned about it recently myself.”
“Thank you for comforting me.”
“Besides, what’s more important is that the martial arts and sword techniques he left behind still remain.”
“What are they?”
At those words Jung Ayeon’s eyes sparkled as she clung to me. I gently created some distance while telling her to calm down.
“They’re called the Chamber Fist Technique and the Chamber Sword Technique.”
“They sound like they carry profound meaning.”
“Exactly. That’s why when you use this martial art, you have to use a different shout.”
“How should it be done?”
Don’t laugh. Do not laugh. Using superhuman patience, I controlled my facial muscles and calmly spoke.
“It means repeating ninety-two movements ninety-two times, so it’s called ‘Goo-ee-goo-ee.’”
“Understood. Goo-ee-goo-ee!”
Jung Ayeon suddenly struck a martial arts pose and shouted the chant.
“Well done. However, you need to shout it with more force. Especially the ‘Goo’ part.”
“Understood. I will keep it in mind.”
Jung Ayeon gave me a fist salute with a serious expression. I avoided her gaze and continued.
“The Chamber Sword Technique is a relatively newer martial art compared to the Chamber Fist Technique.”
“Is it a derivative?”
“Yes. It originated from a person named Kim Kat.”
“He seems to have a Korean surname even though he is a foreigner?”
Jung Ayeon expressed doubt to me.
“He said it was because his roots are Korean.”
“I see. Then where is that person now?”
“He naturalized in Korea and now goes by the name ‘Kim Geun-tae.’”
“I thought the lineage of martial arts had been cut off in Korea, but it seems it is experiencing a revival.”
Jung Ayeon nodded as if impressed, then soon put on a determined expression.
“I shall head straight to the training ground and begin practice. Thank you for bestowing such valuable teaching upon me.”
“We did fight, but since it’s all over now, we should let go of our grudges.”
“Thank you. It seems I was narrow-minded in my thinking. I was truly wrong.”
“It’s good that it ended well. Anyway, keep working hard.”
I gave Jung Ayeon a kind smile and held out my hand. She didn’t refuse and shook it. Then suddenly she seemed to remember something and asked me a question.
“Ah, would you not tell me the name of this warrior?”
“He is someone who became famous worldwide relatively recently.” I avoided the earnest gaze of Jung Ayeon who was staring at me. If I looked at her now I was definitely going to burst out laughing.
“That’s why we called him Champion.”
“I see.”
With my eyes closed, I recited softly.
“However, claiming he had no right to stand above others, he removed the ‘ON’ and became Champi.”
“What a humble mindset. This lady still has a long way to go.”
“So we call him Champi…”
“Champi… It has a nice ring to it.”
Jung Ayeon repeated the name several times. Before leaving the cafeteria she turned back to me.
“Thank you, Young Master Shinu. Thanks to you, I have gained enlightenment.”
“Yeah. Let’s meet again when you’ve become stronger.”
“Understood. This lady shall walk the path of Champi with utmost diligence.”
“You worked hard today. Take care.”
The moment Jung Ayeon completely left, a message popped up on my messenger.
Before I knew it, Hye-ji had come over to my side. Seeing how her cheeks were still lifted to the sky, it seemed like her running away had been the correct choice. Otherwise we would’ve been caught already.
“Shinu, how long do you think that’ll last?”
“At least a week? She seems even more thick-headed than me.”
“When she finds out the truth she’s really going to come kill you.”
“It’s fine. If it comes to that you can just fight her again and it’ll be okay.”
Hye-ji immediately gave me a death glare with narrowed eyes.
“I’m the support and the tool, so it’s right that I say ‘do it for me.’”
“…Isn’t there a problem the moment the supporter herself says that?”
“Ah, fuck.”
After that there weren’t any particular plans. Since I didn’t have any books anyway, I decided to go to the dueling arena with Hye-ji and test out her equipment. After submitting the application and getting approval, while activating the dueling arena system, one question occurred to me.
“Hye-ji, weren’t you only able to manifest weapons and armor before?”
“Huh? Yeah, that’s right?”
“Then how did you make that lump of metal last time we fought? That couldn’t be considered a weapon.”
“That was just… I thought about doing it so I did……huh?”
Only then did Hye-ji notice the sense of incongruity. Suddenly she started pulling out every single firearm available in the dueling arena to test things. When she manifested a single rifle, the plastic parts that used to be there were all replaced with metal. When she touched a real gun and checked every corner before manifesting her ability, the result was slightly different. Even the non-metal parts of the gun were fully manifested.
This time Hye-ji held the gun upside down with the butt facing forward and began manifesting her ability. A small lump of steel appeared at the end of the buttstock.
“What the? What is this? What? Wait, this actually works?”
“Hey, what the hell. This is way different from the ability you told me about last time.”
“Wait! Wait a second! This ability changed!”
“Fuck. Why am I the only useless one!”
“From today onward, call me Hye-ji-Mark 2.”
Compared to the ability she used before, there were quite a lot of changes. After running several experiments, I organized the updated ability.
Although the duration remained the same, that didn’t even matter. Hye-ji was so excited she was literally jumping in place to express her joy.
“Oh my god, fuck! Now I can use a flamethrower perfectly!”
“Give me a flamethrower too. I’m gonna be a fire mage.”
“You’d suit being an arch-mage more.”
“…For some reason that name sounds like I’d get arrested.”
Hye-ji stretched her hand toward the sky with an ecstatic expression. It looked exactly like the Joker from that movie.
“Anyway, thanks. Why did my ability suddenly evolve? I didn’t even think about it.”
“You crazy bitch, stop doing that victory pose.”
After discussing it with Hye-ji for a while, we reached a conclusion. It was probably because she had manifested her ability in an extreme situation, causing it to grow. There’s probably a psychological element from having poured out her true feelings as well.
Excited by this, Hye-ji frantically touched weapons and manifested them over and over. Naturally, she ended up using her ability far more times than the number written on the application form. In the end, we amicably submitted an explanatory statement together.
“…I was just watching, though?”
“Just write it anyway.”
Fuck. In the end we submitted the statement. In the reason section I wrote “I’m sorry for being useless” and handed it in. Hye-ji, who was grinning from ear to ear, even bought me dinner, and I added two more menu items without complaint.
After parting ways with Hye-ji, I returned to the dorm.
There’s definitely some special way to use this number, but…
Knowing about regression and actually regressing are two completely different things. In that sense, a number that only goes up is at best a half-assed ability. You could roughly guess what the other person had done. But since you couldn’t always guess correctly, it was an extreme game of reading the room. Of course, even if you knew they had regressed, whether you could respond appropriately was a separate issue.
Fuck, I’m so jealous of Hye-ji. No, I am happy. I am happy. I buried my face in the pillow and fell asleep just like that. The wet spot at the edge was probably drool, not tears. Probably.
***
Monday morning, I entered the classroom right on time for class. But the moment I stuck my head in, a sudden lion’s roar greeted me.
“You fucking bastard!!! You tricked this lady!!! Champi? Champi? You fucking bastard!!!”
Ah, right. I got caught.