VS Namgung Hyung and the Huashan Sect Bro (1)
I closed the distance on Namgung Hyung while hurling a dagger, immediately followed by a spear. At the same time, I activated the magic tattoos on my left and right hands at the nine o'clock and one o'clock positions, manifesting a shield and a longsword. But the number floating above Namgung Hyung's head had already gone up by one.
"How cute!"
"Shut the hell up!"
Namgung Hyung calmly drew his bow. In an instant, he fired two arrows at the dagger and spear I'd thrown.
"Take this! The Namgung Clan's secret technique, the Emperor's Bow Art!!!"
The two lightning-charged arrows knocked my weapons aside and came flying straight at me. I raised the shield in my left hand to block them, but—
-ZZZZZT!
"Ow, that stings!"
The electricity carried by the arrows traveled up my left arm and shocked my entire body for a moment. It seemed like an ability that let him electrify whatever he was holding. Still, it wasn't that severe. Looked like he hadn't renewed his high-voltage/special high-voltage electrical safety training or his electrician certification. But it was more than enough to freeze me in place for a second.
That opening was all he needed. A barrage of lightning-charged arrows came flying at me nonstop. With my feet rooted to the spot, I could only focus on blocking them.
While defending, I shouted at him.
"Dude, what the fuck! If you're from the Namgung clan you should be using a sword! Why the hell are you shooting a bow like some lunatic?!"
"Does my cute little junior not know the meaning of the Namgung name?"
Namgung Hyung kept firing arrows while running his mouth.
"The character 'gung (弓)' literally means bow! What's wrong with using one?!"
"Fuck. This guy is for real."
Meanwhile, the Huashan Sect bro had his hand outstretched toward Jung Ayeon. He locked onto the approaching girl and shouted.
"Flower, arise! Orb!"
A sphere made of plum blossoms shot toward Jung Ayeon at high speed. The number above her head had already gone up, but she seemed to have predicted it—she'd already sent an eagle diving in. The eagle collided with the blossom orb and exploded, canceling out the attack.
At the same time, Jung Ayeon summoned several creatures behind the Huashan Sect bro. A snake with its mouth wide open aiming for his ankle. A wild boar charging fiercely. A hawk diving from the sky with talons extended. There were so many summons that it looked like she'd overdone it.
But the number above the Huashan Sect bro's head had already increased by one. He smirked slightly and casually planted both hands on the ground.
"Flame, arise! Wall!"
Thick pillars of fire erupted around him, instantly incinerating every last summon.
The two of them had fallen into a sort of stalemate, trading one attack and one defense each. Watching them, I called out.
"Fucking hell. You guys call yourselves martial artists but you're out here using sorcery."
"Nonsense! This is not sorcery!!"
"Can you not see the profound principles of martial arts contained within?!"
They both vehemently denied my words with absolute conviction. The Huashan Sect bro even stopped fighting for a second just to turn and argue with me.
"The electricity of the Namgung clan is sharper than anything else!"
"The flames and blossoms of Huashan are more beautiful than anything else!"
"Will you two idiots shut the fuck up already."
Then they reset their stances and resumed their assault.
"Electricity is swift!"
"Blossom and flame are heavy!"
I used the moment they were answering to quickly close in on Namgung Hyung. But the lightning arrows kept coming, constantly stopping me in my tracks. Still, after getting shocked so many times, I'd built up a bit of resistance. I advanced step by step, slowly narrowing the distance.
The moment I was almost within reach, the number above Namgung Hyung's head went up again. Instead of firing single shots like before, he suddenly nocked multiple arrows at once, preparing to loose them at me.
[My dear, that doesn't feel good at all!]
'Blocking it head-on seems like a bad idea.'
Before the arrows could fly, I quickly slammed the shield from my left hand into the ground and took a big step back with my left foot. Using that foot as a pivot, I spun my body outward in a wide arc. At the same time, I circulated my magic power to strengthen my right leg and added rotational force. Finally, I kicked the shield with my right foot using every ounce of strength I had.
-BOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!
A deafening crash like two cars colliding rang out as the shield shot toward Namgung Hyung like a bullet. Startled, he fired the multiple arrows he'd nocked.
"Azure Sky Boundless Bow Art!!!"
Several lightning-charged arrows slammed into the massive shield flying at him. But no matter how hard they'd been shot, they failed to slow the shield even a little. The incoming shield had become a weapon in its own right and crashed straight into him.
"Ugh!"
The red number above his head went up as Namgung Hyung was knocked flying by the sudden mass attack, letting out a groan.
Meanwhile, I'd started sprinting the moment I kicked the shield away. I closed in on Namgung Hyung as he lay sprawled on the ground, struggling to get up, and swung my longsword down from above.
CLANG!
Even while falling, Namgung Hyung managed to block my longsword with the bow he'd refused to let go of. The bow itself must have been pretty high quality—despite me swinging with serious force, there wasn't a single scratch on it.
"Die, you son of a bitch."
"Don't make me laugh!"
Namgung Hyung tried to channel electricity through the bow to shock me, but I grit my teeth and pushed harder. Thanks to my effort, my sword was slowly inching closer to him.
That was when a strange smell came from Namgung Hyung. It was slightly scorched, mixed with the scent of plum blossoms. For a second I was confused, but then a wave of extreme unease hit me. My instincts were screaming that knowing any more would deal massive mental damage.
Ignore it. Finish him. Don't listen. Don't even think about it. Knowing is death.
Trusting my instincts, I quickly tried to end it. I gripped the longsword with my left hand and manifested a dagger in my right.
But then—
"Flame, arise! Arrow!"
The Huashan Sect bro, who had been facing Jung Ayeon, suddenly turned and fired a flaming arrow at me. I dispelled the dagger in my right hand, summoned a shield instead, and blocked the fire arrow.
In that opening, Namgung Hyung kicked me in the stomach and created some distance. Of course, the Huashan Sect bro had to pay the price for ignoring Jung Ayeon to attack me.
"Do not ignore this lady."
"Aaaaaagh!!"
A white wolf summoned by Jung Ayeon had sunk its teeth into the Huashan Sect bro's left arm after he'd left himself wide open. He screamed in rage and burned the wolf away with flames from his right hand. But his left arm was already gone from the shoulder down, and blood was gushing from the stump.
Watching that, I dispelled my shield and muttered.
"Why the hell does that guy smell like burnt stuff and flowers?"
"Heh heh! Want to know?"
Namgung Hyung must have heard me. Even though he was at a disadvantage and grimacing, he suddenly smiled. That smile looked so ominous that I desperately begged him.
"No, fuck, don't say it. Please don't say anything."
"I liked you from the moment I first saw you, so I'll tell you as a special favor!"
"I said don't tell me, you bastard!!"
But my desperate plea was ignored by Namgung Hyung, who simply gave a refreshing smile. With gentle eyes, he proudly declared.
"The semen of a Huashan expert carries both the scent of fire and plum blossoms!!"
"You motherfucker!!! I told you not to say it!!!!"
"Namgung Hyung!"
Even with one arm torn off and blood pouring everywhere, the Huashan Sect bro glared fiercely at Namgung Hyung.
"Are you actually crazy? Do you really want to see me lose my mind?"
"...Sorry."
Namgung Hyung lowered his head like he felt ashamed. Then the Huashan Sect bro suddenly blushed and spoke shyly.
"That was... supposed to be our secret..."
"But I wanted to brag about it to everyone."
"Namgung Hyung, really..."
"YOU FUCKING BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!"
'Erase my memory! Please just delete a few paragraphs from my brain!'
I screamed at the unbearable sight. Jung Ayeon looked at me with pitying eyes and said,
"This lady told you, did she not? It is called 'bonding'..."
"Who the fuck would think of that as some kind of train play!!!"
Meanwhile, Namgung Hyung and the Huashan Sect bro were staring at each other with deep, wordless gazes. Then the Huashan Sect bro suddenly turned his head away, looking sulky. Namgung Hyung chuckled softly, walked behind him, and wrapped him in a tight hug.
Gasps of "Oh my!" came from all over the spectator seats.
"Hmph, my little bro is upset!"
"Baby, what do I have to do to make it up to you?"
The Huashan Sect bro looked at Namgung Hyung with hesitant eyes and said in a coquettish voice,
"If Namgung Hyung gives me a kiss, I'll think abou—"
"PLEASE JUST DIE!!!! YOU GAY BASTARDS!!!!!!!!"
My patience had reached its limit. I couldn't let my eyes, my ears, or this novel be defiled any further. I charged toward the gay bastards while hurling the longsword in my right hand and roared.
"Don't show off your fucking bromance here, you sons of bitches!!!"
[You must kill them all!!!!!]
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