Jeong Ayeon. How the Hell Is That a Person's Name?
The very back row of the classroom. The spot everyone assumes is reserved for delinquents or transfer students. In reality, it's the hard-earned reward that only the truly diligent can claim. Since there are no assigned seats, it's a pure meritocracy where the early bird gets the worm. And the definition of "early" is entirely relative. If you show up an hour before class only to find someone who arrived two hours earlier already sitting there? Tough luck. You swallow your tears and endure the lecture from whatever shitty seat is left.
Yeah. Good luck with that.
Of course, I'm about as far from diligent as you can get. Showing up half-assed early just lands you in some awkward middle seat anyway. So I figured I'd just show up right on time and snag a front-row spot instead.
I hurried up the stairs, turned toward the classroom, and immediately collided with someone. Before I could even get a good look at them, I blurted out an apology.
"Sorry about that. I wasn't watching where I was going."
"It is fine. In truth, this one was at fault. Pay it no mind."
...Haoche? What the hell kind of old-timer speech is that? Is this a professor?
The second the word "professor" crossed my mind, pure murderous intent surged through me. And honestly, it was completely justified. Because ever since the first day, I'd been getting absolutely tormented.
Professor Kang Pilyong had been showing up with new versions of his scanner every chance he got. The latest one was called "Ability Scanner_Final_Revised_Patch_Complete_Version_(3)." The result? Still, and obviously, Incompetent. Pilyong wasn't satisfied with that, so he ran even more tests and churned out another research paper. All while I got zero benefits from the whole ordeal.
Aaah... no reason to let him live, huh.
I quickly scanned the person I'd bumped into. Black martial arts uniform. Youthful appearance. And tall for a girl. The old-lady speech made me wonder if she was one of those body-swapped grannies, but the way she handled her phone suggested she probably wasn't.
"Glad you're okay. At least you didn't get hurt."
"There is no need for concern. This one is stronger than most."
The woman waved her hand dismissively to show she was fine.
"Right, got it. But if you feel any pain later, just let me know."
"Hmph. Rather, you should worry about your own body. Are you unharmed?"
"I'm perfectly fine. Enjoy the lecture."
"Understood."
With that, the woman in the martial arts uniform walked away. Wow, there are actually polite people here. On my twelfth day at the academy, I finally met a normal person. She was so courteous that I ended up speaking politely too.
I thought back on everyone I'd met at the academy so far. After thinking about it, not a single one had given a normal reaction.
A crazy bitch who'd smacked me in the head three times. A nurse who looked ready to plan my funeral. A professor who wanted to break all my limbs from the very first class. Tools.
For real, there isn't a single decent human being here.
At that exact moment, my conscience stabbed me right in the heart with a furious 'It's all your fault, you idiot!!' My conscience had been worn down to a blunt triangle by now, but that was its final, desperate strike using every last bit of sharpness it had left.
Heh heh heh. As if. Didn't hurt one bit. The only thing that can actually hurt me is the limited gacha ceiling, baby.
When I finally reached the classroom, it was already a complete disaster zone. Every student inside was clutching their ears and groaning in pain. Then one of them spotted me and muttered, "Kim Shinu..." The second those words left his mouth, every single person in the room turned their burning gazes on me.
"Kim Shinu you son of a bitch. Why the hell are you so late?"
"My ears hurt like shit. But damn, that girl earlier was hot, right?"
"I can't hear out of my left ear anymore... but yeah, she was pretty."
"For fuck's sake, why doesn't anyone have that bitch's contact info?"
"I can't even see straight anymore... anyway, it's all Kim Shinu's fault."
What the hell? Why are they blaming me for their temporary physical disabilities? You guys want permanent ones instead?
Right then, someone came staggering toward me from the back row. It was Hyeji. And of course, her expression was exactly the same as everyone else's. She had her bright red hair tied up in twin tails.
"Haah... Shinu, where the hell have you been?"
"I came straight from the dorm. I always show up at this time."
She's in so much pain her whole concept's falling apart.
"You fucking bitch, listen when people talk to you."
"What happened?"
"Right before you got here, some crazy bitch was screaming her head off."
"Crazy bitch?"
Hyeji kept rubbing her ears like they were still ringing. The second the word "girl" came up, the question that naturally slipped out of my mouth was the one any guy would ask.
"Was she hot?"
"I don't know, fuck. But her tits were huge."
Approved.
"But why are you asking me?"
"That crazy bitch was looking for you."
"Why????"
"How the hell should I know?"
"How the hell should I know, huh."
???? Why would she be looking for me? Was it that bitch who smacked me in the head before? Aah. The time of judgment has come.
Hyeji narrowed her eyes at my expression and asked, "You've got an idea who it is, don't you? Spill it."
"Was it a girl with glasses and braided black hair?"
"No? Why?"
"Just wondering..."
It wasn't the person I expected. But Hyeji kept pressing me, clearly wanting to know the reason.
"So why did you ask that?"
"You really don't know?"
Hyeji was starting to get angry, her voice rising.
"How the hell would I know?! We've only known each other for a few days!"
"Oh right, that did happen."
Hyeji's face slowly turned red with rage.
"What the hell did you ask that for?!"
"I'm not giving you the answer you want."
"You fucking idiot, Shinu, you piece of shit!!!"
"Now's not the time."
The second those words left my mouth, Hyeji immediately started choking me. The professor came in shortly after, so she let go pretty quick, but it took a bit longer for my breathing to return to normal. What kind of supporter has this much strength? Live up to your name, damn it. Of course, I barely managed to keep those thoughts from escaping my lips. My life is precious, after all.
After all the chaos, the first class finally ended. The moment the professor left, Hyeji came at me again. She already had her hands ready to choke me, clearly predicting what was coming. But before she could even open her mouth, the classroom door slammed open with a loud bang.
The person who stormed in was the female student I'd run into on the stairs that morning. The second she entered, she naturally let out a lion's roar.
"Kim Shinu you bastard!!! Get the hell out here right now!!!!"
This time the students had been expecting it. Every single one of them covered their ears. I, of course, hadn't been paying attention and took the full brunt of it.
Area-of-effect CC, you fucking bitch.
To cancel out the second cast, I quickly stepped forward.
"I'm Kim Shinu. So shut your mouth already."
"Oh? You're the one from this morning... Did you deliberately come late because you were afraid of this one?"
This old-timer bitch suddenly started mocking me. The hell?
"I always come at this time, you bitch."
"Whatever. This one came to challenge you to a duel."
"A duel out of nowhere on our first meeting? Is this a Yu-Gi-Oh world?"
"Do not misunderstand. This one has a clear reason for dueling you."
Using a duel to restrain someone makes sense in a card game, but it doesn't solve everything in real life. But what the hell is with this crazy bitch who doesn't fit the current era? Who is she, seriously?
"I'm a pacifist, so I don't really like fighting people."
"Do you remember what happened in the library last Monday?"
This old-timer bitch suddenly brought up the library incident. Yeah, I definitely got smacked around by a crazy bitch back then.
"I almost got my skull cracked open because of that bitch."
"Because of you, this one's older sister has been defiled."
"......Excuse me?"
I was clearly the one who got beaten, but suddenly I was the perpetrator. While I was caught off guard by this sudden #MeToo drift, the old-timer bitch in front of me continued speaking.
"Ever since that day, my older sister has lost her smile."
"Wait, hold on, you crazy bitch."
"Whenever she recalls that nightmare, her hands and feet tremble and she breaks out in cold sweat. She used to be so bright and cheerful."
The old-timer bitch spoke with a distant, sorrowful look in her eyes. Hyeji, who was watching from the side, looked like her soul was leaving her body in real time.
Hyeji, no. It's not what you think, damn it.
At the same time, I could hear people around me badmouthing me.
"Will you two shut the hell up!!! You fucking idiots!!!!"
My head was spinning. I poured out my grievances to the old-timer bitch in front of me.
"Your sister beat the crap out of me and I was unconscious for five whole days!"
"Even though my sister resisted, however weakly, a heart that has been defiled cannot be restored."
"No, you crazy bitch! I was the one who got my head cracked open, so why is your sister the one crying?!"
"That is why this one is challenging you to a duel, to restore my sister's honor."
This old-timer bitch wasn't even listening to me anymore.
"You're a regressor, aren't you? Be honest. You did the body-swap thing, didn't you?"
"Shut up, you fucking bastard!!!"
The female student reacted sensitively to the word "regressor." Even her concept slipped a little. She cleared her throat a few times before regaining her composure and spoke again.
"As one warrior, this one formally challenges you to a fair duel."
"Holy shit. We aren't getting anywhere."
Is she a wall? The only wall around here is Hyeji's chest. At that moment, I felt Hyeji's sharp gaze on me and subtly avoided it. The female student quickly spat out what she wanted to say, as if she was just going to say her piece and leave.
"Once all classes are over today, come to the dueling arena. This one shall restore my sister's broken purity."
"You dropped your concept when you got pissed earlier and when you came looking for me, didn't you?"
"......What are you talking about? This one has always spoken this way."
The female student suddenly averted her eyes from mine. You can't fool my eyes, you bitch.
"If you're gonna do a concept, commit to it all the way. You lose your concept the second you can't control your temper."
"...This is not a concept. It is the natural speech of a warrior."
"Commit to the concept until the end!!! Why is this half-assed bastard trying to stir shit from the start!!!"
"......Shut up. Please."
The woman's voice gradually grew quieter. At the same time, I caught a glimpse of Hyeji's eyes trembling. It's okay, Hyeji. You're already halfway done with your concept.
The old-timer bitch, having regained her senses, suddenly thrust an application form at me.
"Anyway, this one has already filled out the application for the dueling arena."
"I never said I'd do it!"
"Just fill in your information here and submit it."
At this point, there was no avoiding it. I had no choice but to accept reality.
"Haah... Fine. See you at the dueling arena later."
"If this one wins, you shall kneel before this one and my sister and apologize, saying 'I'm sorry for defiling her.'"
"......If I win, you'll do whatever I say, you crazy bitch."
The woman gave me a mocking laugh as if I was pathetic.
"Hmph. Now you wish to violate even this one's body?"
"You fucking dog! Stop saying shit that sounds like it came out of a doujin!"
"No problem. This one will not lose anyway."
And with that, the old-timer bitch turned around and left.
"In any case, submit it quickly and receive approval for the dueling arena."
"Just get the hell out already!"
Her chest is huge, but only dogshit comes out of her mouth. Is she a bag of hatred or something?
Right then, someone poked me.
"You piece of trash, explain what the hell that was. Now."
"...I'm seriously the victim here, damn it."
It was Hyeji. The look in her eyes as she stared at me was incredibly sharp and heartbreaking. In the end, I desperately explained the whole situation as quickly and concisely as possible. To anyone watching, it probably looked like a boyfriend desperately explaining to his girlfriend why he was seen with another woman.
Fuck. When you think about it, I'm the victim here.
After hearing the whole story, Hyeji spoke in an annoyed tone.
"Can't you just lose? It looks like a pain in the ass."
"Are you crazy? Absolutely not."
How dare she tell me to lose to the top? Just step over my corpse.
"Besides, if I kneel, everyone will think I really did something wrong."
"It is your fault though."
"......Shut up."
Hyeji's eyes narrowed.
"I can't lose, if only for the sake of my academy reputation."
"Your reputation is already in the gutter. There's nowhere left to fall."
"My coins somehow manage to go even lower than the bottom, fuck."
......
Hyeji's gaze seemed to say, How has this idiot not gone extinct yet? She poked the application form with her finger.
"So what are you going to do? Submit it right now?"
"That girl earlier probably wrote down what ability she'd use if she's a hunter, so let's look at that first."
"Ooh~. Your brain does work sometimes~."
"Stop trying to act cute now. It's too late."
".......Fuck."
The application form she'd left had everything except the parts I needed to fill out written in concise detail. The participant list also had brief information about the female student I'd met earlier.
She didn't write her three sizes. Not that Hyeji would need to anyway.
-Smack.
Hyeji suddenly threw a knife-hand strike at my throat.
"......Why?"
"It looked like you were thinking something dirty."
When I organized the information I'd looked at, I learned that the old-timer's name was Jeong Ayeon. Her rank was surprisingly Silver. I thought she'd be at best a Bronze. But her name is Jeong Ayeon? How the hell is that a person's name?
The "Weapons and Combat Tools" section was left completely blank. Finally, when I looked at her ability, it was more troublesome than I'd expected. It said Jeong Ayeon's ability was to create summons.
Making summons and having them fight for you just feels too much like sorcery. As a warrior, you should settle things with your fists. Regardless of my personal feelings, the ability itself was definitely tricky. She hadn't written down the number of entities, only the range.
She probably means she'll summon them instantly within a certain range.
While thinking of ways to counter it, I slowly started filling in the necessary information. Watching me write, Hyeji casually asked,
"Shinu. Aren't you going to write anything in the weapon section?"
"I'll think about it and write it on the way to submit it."
"Whatever, I get it. Tell me if you need anything."
"Really?"
You definitely said if I needed anything, I'd get it, right? Don't regret it later.
"Thanks in advance."
"Really? You can tell me later."
"Anyway, thanks."
Hyeji waved her hand like it was no big deal and left the classroom first. I went to the dueling arena management department and submitted the application. If it gets approved, just like when Hyeji and I got approved, a notification should come to the contact info I registered.
Unlike earlier, I filled out the "Weapons or Combat Tools" section right before submitting it.
Hyeji. Thank you.
The moment all classes ended, I grabbed Hyeji and talked to her.
"Hyeji, about that 'Weapons and Combat Tools' section from earlier, can you help me out?"
"Sure~. I'll help as much as you want~. Where is it~?"
"Just go to Arena 3."
"Got it~. I'll head there first~"
After Hyeji left, I stopped by somewhere else right before heading to the arena. I picked up one item I thought I'd need. Since I couldn't ask Hyeji for it, and it held great significance to me, I figured I should get it myself.
Preparations complete. Time to execute the old-timer.
When I arrived at the dueling arena, the old-timer Jeong Ayeon I'd seen earlier was already there. On the opposite side stood Hyeji and a strict-looking female professor who would be observing the duel. Her green hair was still tied up neatly, and she still wore glasses. However, instead of a suit, she was wearing a tracksuit. Her name was definitely Park Miran, and she didn't look particularly happy.
But why were there so many people? Did someone advertise this?
In truth, the details of my duel had already been spread through the school newspaper. I just didn't know about it yet, so I was only wondering why there were so many spectators.
Looking at all the student IDs, it looks like almost all the first-years, both the idiots and the tryhards, are here.
There were even second-years. The ones who looked like second-years were all wearing martial arts uniforms. I got the feeling. Those bastards are old-timers too.
After roughly scanning the crowd, I moved over to where Hyeji was. Noticing my presence, Hyeji waved at me. At the same time, the female professor let out a big sigh and asked me a question. Hyeji jumped into the conversation.
"You're Shinu, right? Did you fill this out correctly?"
"Did Shinu write something wrong~?"
"No, it says a student's name in the 'Weapons and Combat Tools' section?"
"Shinu's name~? Shinu, you have to write properly~. This isn't the first time, so why are you like this~."
Hyeji was still smiling as she scolded me.
"No. It says Kim Hyeji."
".......Hey, you fucking idiot Shinu, you piece of shit."
Hyeji's smile vanished. Her eyes had been full of murderous intent and poison for a while now. With the number above her head going up by one, Hyeji grabbed me by the collar.
"Wait. I can explain everything."
"Don't talk, you fucking bastard. I already know what you're going to say."
Hyeji had probably already figured out what I was going to say through regression, but I couldn't back down here. The protagonist's name is crying.
"No, just wait a second. I'm going to use all the countless weapons you make."
"Then shouldn't you write the weapons? Why is my name there?"
"There wasn't enough space to write the types of weapons, so I wrote your name instead."
Killing intent was starting to leak out from Hyeji's small frame, exceeding its limit.
"...And your true feelings?"
"I wrote it because supporters are tools."
Eventually, the killing intent exploded.
"You son of a bitch! I told you I'd kill you if you called me a tool again!!!"
"Uh, sorry. The approval already went through anyway, so please fight with me. As a tool."
"You fucking bastard!!!!!!"
Hyeji summoned a monkey wrench and started smashing my left arm with it. While Hyeji was beating me with repeated whack-whack sounds, Professor Park Miran spoke.
"Student Shinu, come see me after this is over. That was occupational discrimination."
"I understand, so please make her stop, Professor! Ow!!"
"Student Hyeji. Finish beating him after the duel is over. I'll join in then too."
"Yes, understood. Let's beat him together later, Professor."
And then Hyeji went right back to pounding on me.
"Let's stop hitting me out of conscience."
"You need to get hit more. Please just die."
Professor Park Miran squeezed her eyes shut and pressed a hand to her forehead.
"Why did it have to be me who gave final approval... ha."
"Try canceling it. We'll fall into the abyss together."
"......I'll personally crush Student Shinu later."
Hyeji stopped her merciless violence and spoke to Professor Park Miran.
"Since it's already been decided, let's proceed~. You can't help it from your position either, Professor~."
"Thank you so much, Student Hyeji. Want to grab coffee later and talk about your career path?"
"I have no intention of becoming a research student."
"...Sharp-eyed bitch."
This time, Professor Miran turned to Jeong Ayeon.
"Is this okay with you, Student Ayeon? You'll suddenly have to fight two-on-one."
"This one is fine. Adding one more insignificant bug makes no difference."
"Then we'll proceed."
Hyeji was already in a bad mood, and this bitch just had to say something like that. Doesn't she worry about her future at all? The number above Hyeji's head went up by one again.
"Worry about your own future, you fucking bitch!!!"
"It's already pitch black with no answers."
Hyeji let out a big sigh, rested the wrench on her shoulder, and glared at Jeong Ayeon.
"But what pisses me off more is that this bitch called both me and you insignificant bugs."
"You're mad because she put me on the same level as you? Hey! So you're a rank discriminator too!"
As expected, Hyeji, you really are a descendant of the KKK.
"Even if it's me, how dare she treat me like that? If I got a rank, Silver would be the bare minimum."
"Yes, the typical line you hear after the first-year placements are over~."
This time Hyeji hit me in the head with the wrench. With a loud clang!, the wrench bent.
"......Hey, why did it bend?"
"How should I know."
Hyeji looked fed up and tossed the now-useless wrench away. She dusted off her hands and spoke to me again.
"Anyway, we're definitely going to win against her."
"Yeah, I have no intention of losing either. Let's go, my tool!"
"I told you I'd kill you if you called me a tool again!!! You son of a bitch!!!"
This time she kicked me in the shin. That one actually hurt.
After finishing our preparations, Hyeji and I faced Jeong Ayeon. Right on cue, Professor Miran was activating the dueling arena system.
"Have you finished your childish little play?"
"It's not a play, you bitch. I'm getting beaten with a wrench and you call it a play?"
"To make this one waste so much time on two insignificant bugs, do you not think that is far too pathetic?"
She kept saying only what she wanted to say. At this point, I was past anger and starting to feel pity.
"You seem mentally ill. Want me to recommend a hospital? I've been there myself."
"Shut up!!!"
Not wanting to be lumped together with me, Jeong Ayeon actually responded to my words this time. Seeing that, Hyeji spoke with a pitying tone.
"She looks like she has no friends at all. Don't you think, Shinu?"
"I don't have any friends either."
"......Sorry."
It was the first time Hyeji had ever looked apologetic. Then Jeong Ayeon laughed mockingly and said to Hyeji,
"A man wearing a skirt. Don't you think that's pathetic?"
"Good. I'm going to kill her."
Thanks to Jeong Ayeon's cheap provocation, Hyeji's will was now overflowing. Just then, the dueling arena system setup and activation were completed.
Right before the fight, Hyeji and I looked at each other and spoke.
"Ready? Tool?"
"Of course. Idiot."
It was time for the idiot and the tool.