The Sanctuary
The voice that had been only slightly wary moments before now dripped with open hostility. I circulated mana through my entire body in an instant, bracing myself to handle whatever came next. The sharp clip-clop of hooves echoed rhythmically through the building. We stood back-to-back, eyes sweeping every direction while we pushed our bodies to peak tension.
How long we stayed like that, I couldn’t say. Then a single massive silhouette stepped out of the darkness. But the moment I saw what it was, all thoughts of charging forward vanished. I could only stare, dumbfounded.
The creature approaching us reacted the same way. Its hostility melted away, replaced by a baffled expression as it stared straight at me.
「......You are!」
"Huh...?"
It was a horse. Pure white coat, silver mane, and a long horn rising proudly from its forehead. At the same time, it was the very culprit that had pinned me in the academy newspaper at the start of the semester as the God of Virgins. A unicorn.
"Elsia, you fucking bitch."
"You damn yard-using whore!! Why the hell did you give coordinates in yards?!"
"Lady Elsia? Have you lost your mind?"
"Humans really are primitive. To think they still refuse to use such a superior system of measurement."
"......I should have said something...... I’m sorry."
「Everyone, please follow me.」
It was a disaster anyone could have seen coming the moment Elsia provided the coordinates. The academy gate ran on the metric system, but Elsia stubbornly clung to the elves’ traditional yard-pound system. While Elsia herself stood there without a shred of shame, the escort elf alone fidgeted miserably and apologized on her behalf.
As the escort elf bowed in apology, I glanced toward Elsia.
"......I really don’t want to go, but I’ll try to arrive as late as possible."
Elsia was muttering to herself with a regretful face. When I asked what was wrong—
"Elsia? You okay?"
"......I’m fine!"
She wiped the expression away in an instant and answered brightly. Seeing her act as if nothing had happened, I decided not to press the issue.
Meanwhile, thanks to the coordinate error, the place we had arrived at was none other than the unicorns’ sanctuary.
Just like last time when the elves gave the coordinates in yards, the unicorns never made it to the academy.
Thinking about it again actually hurts.
And right now, we were following the unicorn we had just encountered as it guided us deeper inside.
"Shinu, you don’t seem all that surprised."
"Everyone in the comments for the previous chapter called it."
"There is no such thing as the metric system here! You’re truly not angry? As expected, everyone clearly loves the yard-pound system!"
"I’m so dumbfounded that anger won’t even come out."
"Please stop talking bullshit."
「Please come this way.」
Fortunately there were no non-virgins among us, so the unicorn remained calm and simply led the way without causing a scene.
In the middle of it all, Piece spoke to me.
Didn’t the unicorns’ dialogue used to avoid square brackets?
The square brackets have already been claimed by Lady Piece, so I had to give them different ones.
Ah...
After following the unicorn through various passages, a single enormous door appeared before us. The unicorn standing in front of it made its horn shine, then inserted it into what looked like a keyhole. Once the horn slid all the way in, the massive door opened silently to both sides without so much as a creak.
Hye-ji narrowed her eyes at the sight and asked the unicorn.
"Oh, what’s the principle behind that?"
「O virgin one, this door can only be opened by activating the non-virgin slayer.」
"......Haha... I see."
The unicorn answered Hye-ji calmly. Of course, the look on Hye-ji’s face after hearing that answer was anything but pleased.
Once the door stood fully open, we stepped inside following the unicorn’s guidance. Countless unicorns filled the interior, and far in the distance stood a De-yunicorn far larger than the rest.
The moment the De-yunicorn saw me, tears streamed from its eyes as it rushed toward us.
「Oooooh!!!! My King!」
"Ah, fuck."
Suddenly all those shitty memories came flooding back. But as they say, one piece of shit is always followed by another. At the De-yunicorn’s words, every unicorn’s gaze locked onto me.
「The King has returned!」
「My King! Please save us!」
「Merely a king? He is a god!」
「The God of Virginity!」
Most of my companions seemed to be warmly welcomed by the unicorns. Hye-ji, Jung Ayeon, and the escort elf in particular. The unicorns, however, all looked at Elsia with the same slightly wary gaze.
Finding it strange, I was about to ask her about it when Elsia beat me to the punch.
"Husband! Please don’t misunderstand! I am a virgin!"
"...Then why are they all looking at you like that?"
「Hmph! Insignificant creature! To dare deceive the King with your silver tongue!」
One unicorn snorted violently, breathing hard. Then another unicorn approached me and spoke.
「My King, that elf is indeed a virgin. However—」
"However?"
「While better than a non-virgin, she has undergone dark evolution from virginity into a spinst—」
The unicorn never finished its sentence. Elsia had appeared beside me in a flash and snapped its neck. The unicorn didn’t die, but it foamed at the mouth instantly and fainted without making a sound.
"Oh my! I only meant to whisper, but it seems he suddenly felt sleepy!"
"......Elsia, didn’t you definitely tell me you were eighty-nine?"
One unicorn stared at Elsia with an expression of pure disbelief.
「Eighty-nine? That crazy bitch has no conscience whatsoever! No matter how generously you count, it’s at least three dig—」
"Shut up."
Elsia muttered quietly as she drove a deep knee strike into the head of the unicorn that had just been speaking. This one, too, couldn’t overcome the sudden drowsiness from Elsia’s clean hit and fell into a deep sleep.
Soon Elsia turned to me with a bright smile, tilting her head at a bizarre angle.
"Husband, how old did you say I am?"
"......Eighty-nine."
"Then how old will I turn next year?"
"Ninety."
Instead of acknowledging the correct answer, Elsia simply tilted her head even further. Her mouth opened once more.
"Last chance. How old will I be next year?"
"......Eighty-nine?"
"Correct!"
Several unicorns grew visibly furious at Elsia’s answer, snorting and stamping. Yet numbers began floating above their heads one by one, and they slowly lowered their gazes with gloomy expressions. They had probably been executed by Elsia in the pre-regression future.
It’s censorship on par with China.
That spinster bitch really has zero conscience.
At that exact moment, Elsia appeared right in front of me. Her fist curved like a striking snake and drove a perfect body blow into my side before I could react. They say a surprise attack is the most effective strike. It worked when I did it, and it worked just as well when I received it.
"......That one actually hurt quite a lot."
"My hand moved on pure instinct before I could think!"
"Even I thought Shinu did something wrong."
"This lady agrees."
The heroines’ intuition was improving by the day.
While I caught my breath, the De-yunicorn—who had briefly stepped away—returned with other unicorns carrying a massive chair. It had handles on both sides and a large horn on the back that radiated presence. The same pure white as the horn itself. Despite bearing no patterns, it gave off a subtle, elegant antique charm. It was a throne.
◈ Crafted from the gathered horns of countless unicorns
◈ Induces extreme post-nut clarity and zen-like enlightenment
◈ Unqualified sitters will experience discomfort
At that moment the De-yunicorn looked at me and spoke.
「My King, please be seated.」
"What is this thing?"
「It is the ‘Throne of Virginity’ we created by gathering our horns for the King.」
According to the De-yunicorn, anyone lacking the proper qualifications would suffer various discomforts when sitting on a throne made from unicorn horns. After hearing that, Hye-ji and Jung Ayeon sat down first. They stayed seated only briefly before standing again with subtly awkward expressions.
"How was it?"
"Nothing’s technically wrong, but it feels vaguely uncomfortable."
"This lady felt much the same."
"Husband! I want to try sitting too!"
The moment Elsia reached out to sit on the throne, that section suddenly discolored to a faint yellow. It might have been subtle at a glance, but against the throne’s pure white surface everyone noticed immediately.
The De-yunicorn gasped in awe at the sight.
「Discoloration! That can only be caused by an ‘Ancient Spinster,’ the primordial—」
"Oh my! The finish looks wrong! Let me help fix it!"
「No!!!!!」
Elsia cut the De-yunicorn off mid-sentence, summoned her butterflies, and began grinding the discolored section like a blender. The De-yunicorn screamed and tried to stop her, but the surrounding unicorns desperately held it back.
「Stop!!! Do you know how long we labored to create that perfect symmetry!!!」
「Lord De-yunicorn, you must endure! The representative sent to meet the World Tree this time is genuinely insane!!」
「The Throne of Virginity can be remade! But life cannot!」
Thanks to Elsia’s emergency measures, the once perfectly symmetrical Throne of Virginity was left with one side ground down so severely it became grotesquely asymmetrical.
Looking even more depressed than before, the De-yunicorn spoke to me again.
「My King, please be seated.」
"Got it."
Under the watchful eyes of every unicorn, I slowly lowered myself onto the Throne of Virginity. The instant I sat fully, a gentle silver radiance began spreading from the throne. All the unicorns burst into unified cheers at the sight.
On the other hand, the moment I sat down every ounce of strength left my body. A wave of emptiness washed over me, and I fell into deep philosophical contemplation about the self. It was the side effect of sitting on the Throne of Virginity. Yes. It was sage time.