The Rat That Ate the World
People, sometimes, don't want to hear how extraordinary something is—they just want a simple number to explain it.
If The Little Prince existed in reality, he'd probably call it a withered heart.
"God damn it, everything's a total mess—how the hell are we supposed to evaluate anything?"
"At least it'd be better than becoming just another dried-up adult."
It had been about two years since ability users appeared, and yet the global state of ability research hadn't budged an inch.
"God damn it, I shot missiles into those dimension gates and they did nothing!"
"Didn't you know conventional weapons are the only things that work? God damn it, all electronics get jammed—"
The mighty United States, with its vast territory overrun by monsters, had regions its advanced weapons couldn't cover.
"God damn it, monsters are popping out and you're ignoring the assembly order?! Where the hell did everyone run off to?!"
"Our military's either dead or scattered, the locals' morale is already destroyed, and yet they're still—Ugh—!!"
China, too, had reached a point where the various nations it had so gleefully devoured were no longer willing to be swallowed.
While the world's number one and two powers endured a collective slump in parallel, the ones below them were suffering in an even larger slump.
"Aaaaagh...!! Russia's finally quiet—does this mean an alien invasion now...!!"
Well, they were suffering through an even bigger depression. The old proverb goes: when something bigger than you coughs, everyone below your weight class has to cough up blood. And today, it racked up another win.
"God damn it, America...!! Did you really betray us?! Why—!!"
"You insane bastards! Did you think I was born to counter Russia for you?! They're abandoning parts of the mainland!!"
Europe's powerhouses—Germany and France—had reversed the disarmament they'd spent years pulling off, vacuuming up military stockpiles in the blink of an eye.
"So... there's basically no ground forces? It's not like they existed and then disappeared?"
"No, there's simply none."
Britain was twisting its body in agony as it faced, for the first time in its history, a period where the army mattered more than the navy.
These three countries that had been doing well in Europe wouldn't be taken down by a crisis like this—but when whales thrash, the fish nearby mysteriously die. That's just how marine ecosystems work.
"I see you're enjoying the Eurozone, you bastards! Either protect us or give back our authority!"
"Greece, you damn bastards made us die because of this!!"
"W-we were trying our best..."
The nations near the Mediterranean, where a massive bomb had just gone off nearby, were in hell—protecting citizens from monsters on one hand, trying to salvage their recession-stricken economies on the other.
"Ability research funding?! Funding?! When the country's about to collapse, is research even important?!"
"B-but if this situation drags on, the research will definitely become necessary..."
"If we make it to next year and the economy achieves a soft landing, then maybe—but right now every penny has to be saved, don't you get it?!"
Thanks to the global economic contraction triggered by the gate crisis, any hope of recovery within ten years—even with a brief illness—had vanished.
"Deputy Minister... hmm, it won't be easy. We're in debt too..."
"I'm sorry, but defense spending comes first. Perhaps you could look into other opportunities."
When hope shrinks, the speed at which wallets open slows down automatically. Only a limited number of nations can afford to start researching abilities right now. Even if the rotten number one and two—America and China—could pour research funds into a bigger future while bleeding, smaller nations would need to bleed less to even be considered.
"Uuuuugh, come on come on come!! Who in this country is keeping rice prices stable?!"
"God damn it, is it you again? GOAT..."
"The Prime Minister is protecting this nation's rice prices! Do whatever you want!"
Well, aside from some northern territories, Japan had successfully kept prices stable across almost every administrative region—a world leader in goodwill.
---
"Alright, today we'll start by experimenting with what your ability can absorb, and how much of it."
And here, Jeong Ilhwan, delighted at the prospect of running experiments with other people's money.
"Fuck, am I not even human? What the hell is this, kerosene? Diesel? And this—what's this, coal tar?!"
Kim Chomok, who'd expected a buffet to be brought to him, returned home with nothing but fuel cans—gloomy as ever.
The Republic of Korea was about to take its first bold step forward with ability users and ability research.
---
Kim Chomok's ability, at its core, had an incredibly simple mechanism.
"Absorb the plants around you, then use that energy to strengthen your body."
A whole-body weapon until all absorbed energy is spent—simple and efficient...
"Uh... from the prerequisites to the usage method, everything's wrong, isn't it? Is that really how it works?"
"Hm."
To Kim Chomok, who'd believed he had an ability, the answer that came back was the cold criticism of his friend.
"Your actual target doesn't necessarily have to be 'plants,' you know."
If the only thing around when he used his ability happened to be plants, then sure, that was what got used first. But if other people had different targets in mind? That insane bastard—his fortune-telling chart had no climbing reference, and his brain had apparently cracked open.
Jeong Ilhwan, who'd started putting into practice what he'd thought of back then, was the one who'd figured it out.
"What? But you're saying this all of a sudden..."
From Kim Chomok's perspective, the sudden fuel exchange might make his jaw drop—but the world's always stood on a golden tower of sacrifice, with lab rats and hamsters.
"No, they're cute, so it's fine. This is about on par with a black laboratory rat."
"What the hell?! This bastard?!"
Besides the fact that touching him made the surroundings suffer, the man was effectively a human plague to his own friend.
"Shut up and just try absorbing this first."
SMACK!
"...Hnnnggghh...?"
You don't hit people in the face in a lab, so Jeong Ilhwan smacked him with a long rope-like thing. That slippery texture, the unmistakable ocean smell, the black-and-blue coloring—
"...Is this seaweed?"
Not dried, not processed—alive, ripped from the sea and thrown at his face. This damn friend of his.
"Right, it does 'photosynthesis' too, doesn't it? There's gotta be energy in it, so it's not losing if you absorb it."
"Hnngh... just make it work, okay..."
With nothing but the resolve to punch him in the face, Kim Chomok focused, and his hand took on a dark, ashy color.
SHLURP—!!
The seaweed stem, which changed color in an instant, began to wither and curl inward.
"So... what does this prove? You just absorbed one seaweed from the ocean. That's it."
Of course, Kim Chomok's eyes, staring at Jeong Ilhwan as if to say "what's the big deal," didn't change.
"Augh, it's so frustrating...! First of all, seaweed isn't a plant—it's closer to an 'animal.' The premise changed."
"...What?!"
For someone who'd consistently thought A+B=C, the information that "you can substitute D for A" was invaluable.
"Now we can hypothesize that your ability works on 'organic material that lives based on chlorophyll'—"
Whether it was a primitive organism, just a plant, or even a snail with a green mustache—
If the wavelength matches, you can absolutely suck it up. The ultimate human leech!
"And the organic material that feeds on that chlorophyll—what happens when it's subjected to pressure and heat?"
"Kerogen—formed under anaerobic conditions... Ah, so that's why you brought oil deposits."
Once the thought's dam breaks and proper thinking gets on the rails, there's no need to persuade anymore.
Besides, Kim Chomok had one thing nagging at him internally ever since that day he'd eaten a mountain.
"When I punctured the helicopter's fuel tank, I felt energy filling up inside me..."
He'd thought his first large-scale absorption had scrambled his senses—but it turned out the fuel had actually been his fuel all along?
"Next time, don't threaten me with rice—I'm making every gas station my target."
"Don't you dare...!! You crazy bastard, what the hell does fuel have to do with the monster-era?!"
Jeong Ilhwan, uneasy about his friend's prediction of an even bigger disaster, was frantically waving his hands.
"Fine. Let's see how much we can do."
Kim Chomok, accustomed to salad by now, started cramming oil into himself and grinned.
"Heh heh. If absorption efficiency is even half, the country has no business messing with me anymore. I am the oil!"
"If you just suggest turning me into a living power generator after I've already destroyed the second and third 'rice' of industry, don't you think they'd support you with personnel?"
He felt good about his rising position—after rice, now the third pillar of industry—but—
[Huh? What the hell? Where's the normal food I usually eat going, and why are you stuffing this crap in?! Are you crazy?!]
"You've been too full of yourself. How dare you whine about food while living inside my body? You ungrateful bastard!"
There was one creature that had stamped its hoof on his three-year-old self. The black horse.
[Ugh, the energy output is second only to that, and this shit is genuinely toxic! Why are you eating it—!!]
Even without being a Marine, filling up on Marine spirit was truly delightful, so Kim Chomok whistled a tune.
---
"[Cough, cough...!! Someone call an epidemic doctor for these damned kids...]"
"Hmm, the parasite inside is about half-cooked by now. Should we stop since the capacity's full?"
"Whoa, the whole can fits in."
While the tragic victim of petroleum-eating parasites wailed in agony inside Kim Chomok, the results of his attempts to absorb various materials were surprising.
"The lower the impurities, the sweeter the product, the lighter the oil—the better it absorbs."
The helicopter running on high-octane aviation fuel filled up on energy for a reason.
"...It feels like I'm eating energy jelly and spiking my blood sugar, which is weird."
"Oh! That's a great analogy. I get it now!"
Conversely, the sulfur-heavy sour stuff and medium-weight oils—no matter how much he absorbed, the energy gain was negligible and the thing inside him was disgusted, glowing with irritation.
"Endurance time is shorter than usual too. The quality difference is definitely huge."
The rebound was longer and more painful than the amount he'd absorbed—looking at it like a person, the latter was like eating a constipating unprocessed oat bran.
"God damn it, Korean refinery technology... I love you!!"
He wouldn't get fat or unhealthy from the oil, and there was never a reason to tune his ability in the first place.
"Hmm. Want to try eating these next? ...Don't look at me like that—just try it once."
Jeong Ilhwan, who'd been recording the differences on paper, started stacking other items in front of Kim Chomok.
"The coal tar that solidified from being left alone during the experiment didn't absorb at all."
"Hmm. Same with coal... It seems like things 'below a certain moisture level' can't be absorbed."
Purified rice with 15% moisture and flour with about 14% moisture—once in his hand, energy flowed right in.
"The rough cutoff is... about 10%? That's enough. Most things have at least that much moisture."
Once you sort what can and can't be eaten—
[......]
Now the thing inside him was so exhausted it couldn't even mutter a protest, lying collapsed in his interior. Energy was overflowing in his body, yet the silence was suspicious—but right now, what mattered to him wasn't the horse.
"Alright, great job. Experiment's over for today!"
Clocked in at nine, home by five, legally skipping regular classes—that perfect schedule.
"Heh, 'knife exit'—I've got time to hit the bed and flex my hours."
The lab rat that shamelessly prioritized work-life balance ahead of all trends started eagerly waiting for the next experiment.
"Finally, this time has come, you conscienceless son of a—!"
WAAAAAAAH—!!
Of course, he was immediately knocked out cold the moment he entered the internal realm, pummeled like a dog by the internal enemy—but what could he do? This time, the one who threw the first punch was the body's owner, Kim Chomok, so he had to take it. If you throw the first punch and don't knock them out, that's an intelligence problem for a human who got complacent.
"Aaaagh, my mistake! My mistake! Don't bend my right arm at the same angle anymore...!!"
After taking a massive hit to the gut, unable to breathe and thoroughly winded, he collapsed face-first into the mud.
"The humiliation of forcing this body to eat what it told you not to—I have NOT forgotten!!"
"Aagh... then come out and scold me, don't ambush me! You spineless bastard—AAAAAGH—!!! Tap! I said tap!!"
The poor young man, who could do nothing but keep tapping, rolled on the ground in agony for several minutes.
"...But then again, who the hell is this woman?!"
Besides suddenly having a pitch-black horse living inside his body, Kim Chomok—who could now say things like "my friend has a friend living inside him"—stared at a woman in a black dress with black hair, whose arrival he couldn't even guess.
"Some called me Eboni, and some simply called me Black Horse."
Whether she'd named herself or someone else had—asking would be rude, but he had some idea. Both words were connected to the color black.
"...Black lacquer tree, and the Chinese character for 'black horse'..."
To see that the mascot parasite living in his body as a black horse had not one but two fitting names—she was clearly something ancient, a creature that had lived far, far longer than him.
"Now then, reserve knight candidate. Your warhorse has arrived here."
---
"Dare I ask—how do you intend to name me, and how do you intend to call me?"
Standing tall with her back straight, looking down at him with an arrogant expression, was the black horse.
Kim Chomok, tugging his lip sideways, pulled out his first words in a daze.
"Kkamdoo..."
WAAAAAAAH—!!
It vanished into his mouth before it could ever become a proper word.