Blackmail with Rice
Korea is a land where people can't scratch that itch unless everything happens fast—fast.
"You didn't hit the close button while waiting for the elevator?! No way in hell. Running over here?! Piss off, loser!!"
"Hey, you bastard!! I'll remember you—!!"
Even among friends, pranks like that weren't openly forgiven. It just meant a pretty high percentage of folks here couldn't stand wasting even pointless spare time.
Thanks to that national character—or maybe just dumb luck—they'd climbed countless kicked-away ladders, side effects and all, to leap into developed-nation status. In this era of massive tectonic shifts, they'd been the first to receive alien tech transfers too.
Can't choose your job? Then just smash the country that has jobs, right?
...And ever since ability users appeared, Korea had led even in the bad news too—serving as the test-bed for problems other countries were only now starting to face bit by bit.
With some lunatic now running wild across all of Seoul because of one law they'd passed, the National Assembly had no choice but to stay up all night watching. They couldn't risk getting flamed for "What if we fuck up and eat shit?"
And the ending? A perfect victory for that madman.
"What the hell is this, a national disgrace for the history books?! Explain yourselves now!!"
"You assholes from your party are the ones who made and passed that shitty law!!"
"But you had more yes votes, right? Ruling party minority politics? Not our problem."
As dawn broke, the Assembly was already a total shitshow, five minutes to total chaos.
'Fuck, if we don't dodge this right, we'll get hammered with it next time for sure...!!'
'If we can't pin this all on those bastards, forget holding the line—we're done for...'
Hundreds were tied up as POWs right in central Seoul, after all.
'So, what the hell does that crazy b—no, that guy even want?'
'If you don't come negotiate in person, he'll show something way bigger than this... ahem. Total shitstorm!'
Hotline phones screamed at aides: "That psycho might actually do it!" But the guy was open to talks—just not patient with time...!!
"Isn't this disaster because of those two's actions?!"
"We've said a million times it was solo rogue behavior! We're stripping their party affiliation...!!"
Fingers pointed everywhere at the party that was human-fail on accountability. At a time when they needed to sort fast-movers from dead weight quick, were they really fighting? For real?
Voters' hearts swelled with regret for electing these pricks—right then.
"...Then let's send those two to at least coordinate opinions... Just in case, should I go myself?"
"...Huh? Y-yeah, that'd be great?!"
In this cutthroat politics where rookies and sophomores couldn't even flash a card, only party heavyweights got speaking turns. Jeong Sumyeong—a young early-30s politician who'd openly opposed the "mandatory ability user conscription" extension bill—stepped up.
Precisely: "Drag doctors into bullshit, who's handling the fallout?"
For the party that birthed this disaster law, it minimized sacrificial lambs.
'Young, upright politician heads to negotiate with death-defying resolve!'
'He's so young anyway... won't shake our position. Next-next gen at best!'
The opposing party, who'd traded yes votes on that bill for favors elsewhere, scored a rising star. Perfect balance—enough to make even a certain king² who saw people as rice weevils shed tears of.
But 'Should I call my little bro? He was clearly trying to minimize casualties... knows me, won't kill his bro.'
His dongsaeng's unit linked to the monster-jumper—no real life worry. If a stranger, they'd have stonewalled to the end. None knew that backstory.
Well, "balance" basically meant "kill each other"—golden answer maybe.
"...What?"
"Heard anything? He'll release hostages for law nullification and amnesty."
The guy loved rice silos so much, negotiation breakdown cost got serious.
"Or should I stroll Incheon-Yeongdeungpo to Icheon, south along the coast rethinking?"
From the live feed of him fueling on plants, trouble brewed.
Kim Chomo asked the Assembly: "Is your rice safe?"
Kim Chomo's stunt rippled huge.
Discharged? Hell no to redraft—look at the scale he pulled.
"In national crisis, how far can one person compromise?" Judgment split absolute by viewer.
His cause: victim of state's violent one-sided policy. Warning to bystanders: could be you next—or not.
Worst, trick and catch him? Spawn Kim Chomo 2.0 or 3.0?
"Catching rogue ability users with ability users is issue enough. Who trusts government?"
Releasing was problem; catching impossible. Most users: ex-military, military family, gate-adjacent.
Unfair draft already? Early gate monster brawls? Love for nation? Hits rock bottom real-time.
Then extending active duty, hunting discharges—live reverse-torment watched by all.
No way they'd be state's dogs post-grave. Obvious!
Flipped Seoul, government, now two Assemblymen's terms. One guy's feats? Massive.
Negotiators steeled resolve.
'...This era's schemer aiming overwhelming ability user dominance...'
'Damn, why didn't we predict a psycho like this... Wanna turn back time...'
"H-hello? Bro²! Can you come out? Nah, just checking... 'Piss off'?"
Worst case, one salvageable.
Three with varied thoughts arrived at temp POW camp.
"...What the hell. Iron prison on bare ground...?"
First sight: crude iron jail sunk deep in earth. Strictly... 'processed ex-iron products' bent round.
"Never thought 5th Industrial'd revert to manual labor..."
"Quit whining, crank the heat! High-cal grub ordered—why's the firepower shit?"
'Ex-car body' now people-pipe in sinkhole scrapyard jail bars.
Jeong Il-hwan touched: iron went gooey. Today's perp Kim Chomo circled finger...
Shloooorp...!!
Like taffy machine extruding, he pushed molded rods aside.
"Uncles, quick—stake in your zones!"
Ironic: prisoners (soldiers) planted their cages!
"Ugh, hate it... But late chow? Worse..."
Chatting with pipe-planting GIs: discipline loose as fuck.
Not real jail—shoddy iron fence screamed easy breakout.
"Uncles, no pity parties in cam... Or yelling later?"
"Uh... What then? My body's squeezing through gaps?"
"C'mon, that's how ya get extra delivery, skip duty? Better than work?"
"""Waaaaaaah!!!"""
Already pissed at capture: forced return vs. good eats, camp play. Which idiot picks first? Latter, duh.
Combat sustain: brunch Chinese! Two dishes per four-man team!
Mountain limited delivery zone boosted local biz, POW morale. Kim Chomo—Hua Tuo reborn—superstar inevitable.
"Th-this costs a fortune—can't pay!"
High-ups footing bill: wallet-rape sad.
"Starve 'em? Tanks combat power. Traitor?! Hate it? Send field rations."
Perp with endless priors: brazen criminal.
Threat/extort? Haha, general kidnap/property damage heavier sentence anyway.
"Who said gunless can't catch? Sword-threat later. Bill unit."
Unit CO threatening budget? Promotion-block disaster—but whatever.
Who cares grunts in hated org?
Colonel/brigadier complex: "'Retire with two stars max'—shut wallet."
Miracle: wallet opened, limit infinite.
Actually, budget nuke beat alternative.
"Grub alone strains funds—'kill time' payouts too?!"
"Fine, WW1 camp style then..."
"Ok! Ok! Pay up! Spend it all, you damn shits!!"
"Arbeit macht frei" scenario? 100% his ass on hook.
Wallet hit over record? Better.
"Sweet. Hey, Jeong Il-hwan. Buy fun shit with this card."
"...I'm hostage... Really ok to move?"
"Right. Then only scrap for play? Colosseum³ maybe..."
"...Gah, no!! Deputy CO, kids—run!! Fast!!"
Bored? Toy store raid: board games, portables galore.
Distributed to chow-munching fence-folk inside.
Better than barracks—save outdoor. Jackpot!
"Eat! Drink! Play! Enjoy hostage vacay—melt service days!"
Local election? Post-win election law bust cash.
"Kim Chomo! Kim Chomo! Kim Chomo!!"
"He's god! Fisted brass for phones!"
"Pray talks drag!! Service this comfy?!!"
Enemy or not—to dragged youths, ultimate bro.
Center-dance rage-moves to tunes: holy af.
"...Gulp... How much is this...!!"
Supply sergeant: receipts + personal bleed. Neck-grab faint soon—but not Kim Chomo's problem.
"...Aigoo, who're you? Delegation finally. Sit! Cola?"
Kim Chomo—truck/car seat-chair throne—raised bottle to trio.
"...Pass. Troops first... Negotiate?"
Two trembled; one sat calm opposite. Proper authority sniffed—polite tone, no rude glare like flanks.
"Hello, Kim Chomo-ssi. I'm..."
But yield to drags? Hell no.
"Live on! Hello! Starting World's Best Hostage Swap Show!!!"
Basic negotiation: deny wants easy.
"Wh-what!!"
"Aaaaaah----!!"
Deflate first—unthinkable direction. Kim Chomo bellowed.
"----now!!"
Shredded seat-chair, car-hood pipe-table. But hundred-lives hostage drama? Epic negotiation table.
One prank/TV gag? Assembly eyes blanked.
"Why the stare? No time waste—name price."
"...Pardon?"
"Oh right. Punch first: 'How much budget?' Sorry."
Shopkeep vibe: market tactic.
Wham!!
"Guhk...!! Aaagh--!!"
Badge or not—gut-shot starter. Mad.
"Fuu, refreshing... Won't talk? I will. Note."
Gold badge floored, gut-clutch foam: Jeong Sumyeong +1 watched.
"Article one: No state forced/misuse of ability users ever."
"...If mega-gate disaster...?"
Big-wave opener; extreme example showed unrecovered brains.
Wham!!
"Aaagh!!"
"Volunteers: short contract, post-pay. Common sense?"
Second vic foamed; paid body-lesson?
"...Accepted."
Volunteers mobilizable in crisis: Jeong Sumyeong content.
'Novelty wore off. US users richening too.'
No defense duty clause? Draft ok-ish.
'Surprising. Thought abolish for self/future users.'
No service exemption? Not user-only. Just cut freeloader attitude like theirs.
"Two: Full amnesty. Wipe record to contract date, whatever I did."
"...Expected pre-arrival. Understood."
Amnesty must—his crimes to this win. Assembly prepped; quick grant.
Regular cops? Need ability police org. Cheaper amnesty + rehab.
Sorted: next wants?
Lifetime cash? Power? Ability platform monopoly?'
Uni-competitive: not dumb, era or not.
Betrayed expectation.
"...? Staring? Go get amnesty signed by voter-scapegoat decider and party bosses."
Back to slow-duo + half-corpse.
Hated army: CO villa "siege, rocks!" discharge success. Wants met, threats gone? Civilian mask on.
"Folks! See? My wants so humble!"
Viewers dumbfounded by generosity.
"But sweet terms need big penalty."
"...Penalty? What. Assembly attack now?"
Yeouido word-only visit: late caution funny.
Kim Chomo: no reason south again.
"Simple: No law repeal + full amnesty by... or late?"
--By 20:00 today, prez + party leaders' signatures waved before me?
"Next year, all public rice? Fivefold price."
No dirty hands—let voters' picks chop necks.
"...Wh-what?!"
Disaster imminent dawned; Jeong Sumyeong eyed desperate.
"Gates boom, food security/self-sufficiency—expanded farms, right?"
--Staple self-sufficiency must, like stocks?
"Y-yes?"
"Harvest those fields for my fuel now—fall rice price?"
Physical crop-ruiner unmoved.
Side self-sustain will shown? Army news prints intel.
"Lemme see, bipartisan yes-fest? Heavy subsidies."
Rice self-sufficiency: ~115% this year est.
Fall results: parties slice approval pie.
"Oops, 15% left? If I skip Jeju?"
Tax-pounded results flop? Both eat shit.
"So make me enemy forever, send army twice..."
--Pre-army, accept regime-flip mega-incident.
Staple self-suff only import-free brag.
'Fuck, liar image sticks—trouble!'
Rice-self-sabotage psycho threat: Jeong Sumyeong shuddered.
As said, smash fields? Supply not instant-nuke.
This harvest ruin? Nation's barracks core intact. Reserves/fundamentals solid.
No instant famine... but
'Markets front-run everything!'
Year's crop fucked known? Hoarding/panic-buy storm.
His dream: infinite buyers, few sellers. Game over.
"Prices soar? Screw? Drop rice! Import wild! Dilute!"
Farmers' hearts/votes tank bonus—but fire out.
"If cheapest import Japonica not other countries'..."
"...!!"
Fastest: US Calrose orig... but
"Gate winners I know: us... next door, Japan!"
--Head-bow 'Bro, rice pls...' humiliation diplo?
Walking Sibas sell steel not—'steel-rice standard' trade now.
Japan: domestic rice edge, diversify exports for farm votes?
Rice-dump rival-PM-killer prez⁴ misses chance? Nah.
Recent thaw? Still world-top matches: Korea-Japan soccer/baseball.
Post-2020 pandemic global dip.
Till aggro-magnet nation + psycho normalized it.
Inertia: upper right next after top assholes, left barely spared.
Rice import day: pol says 'Peninsula buys rice now—not like old days!' Wild claim.
Next: 'Humiliation diplo! Ok?!' headlines explode.
"Th-think farmers' blood tears?!"
First vic up: sympathy ploy dud to ag-savvy youth.
"Huh? Taxpayers eat it. No subsidies? Vote-suicide? Natural disaster?"
"...Vicious bastard..!!"
Overproduced rice tanking prices: free human-tractor saves fuel, flips soil.
Stockpile? Sell premium. Tears? No!
"What? Solve today or Incheon-Gyeonggi-Gwangju order. Talks over!"
Tatata!
Young, less dumb than duo.
'Live broadcast? Show hustle better!'
Jeong Sumyeong bolted no more waste.
Politician survival: perfect play.