Fuck Around and Find Out
The world was full of all sorts of humans being born and dying. Earth, the cradle of countless Homo sapiens living out their individual lives. Even now, after gates had ripped open at the end of an era when humanity thought they were the only intelligent beings in the universe.
"Damn it, you guys again? You're all so petty... Not that I missed you or anything. Joat."
There was one unchanging truth everyone could wholeheartedly agree on.
"Ah, it's cold--!!"
As some wise old manga sage once said, the "20% Asshole Rule." When a bunch of people gather, there's bound to be at least one total scumbag you wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. This ironclad law applied across all eras.
If the odds of running into them were low, maybe it'd be fine. But in a country where life was densely packed in the capital, every time you stepped out, you'd trip over another lunatic. Case in point: some guy in pristine white clothes out for a pleasant outing gets his outfit naturally dyed brown.
"...Hold up, you spill iced coffee all over me and just walk away without a single apology?!"
"Hey, you think I wanted to do this? You never make mistakes? Quit your damn whining!"
The kind of selfish prick who causes trouble without a shred of guilt—just knows he's an asshole.
"Can't you see the line? Why the hell are you--"
"What, you got no parents?! You gonna embarrass me in front of all these people?!"
Even in Joseon times, they didn't give honorary titles to anyone under 80, but here's this conscienceless geezer demanding respect before he's earned it.
"Do you know who I am?! You think a nobody like you can touch me?!"
The class system died before the country even got remodeled, yet here comes some prehistoric fossil thawed from the Arctic.
People with zero social awareness, those who couldn't care less about following rules... All the morons who got roasted online were still out there causing havoc in real life. That was modern society.
Or more precisely, "that was modern society until recently."
"...Huh?"
Those days when victims backed off from pointless fights, scared of their lives going south? Yeah, fond memories.
Zzzzzt...!!
If you still thought that way, you'd need to make some tougher choices soon.
His body erupted in heat that defied belief for mere survival against the sudden caffeine shower.
"Since you so kindly showered me with ice-cold coffee, don't I deserve a REWARD?"
It was now an era where human steam engines— mind-readers—wrapped in flames and caffeine fumes actually existed.
The troublemakers nearby were paying their dues in full, too.
Thwack! Pow!
"Ugh, ack...!! I'm sorry! So sorry, sir...!! Please stop...!!"
"You know why my clothes are red?! 'Cause of blood from assholes like you! Stand up straight—this is Jutterji International--!!"
A neural ability user was revolutionizing the face of a shameless line-cutter preaching class theory, dodging guards and slamming fists home.
"If! You! Can't! Control! Your! Intake! With! Age! Then! Shut! Your! Trap! And! Stay! Put!"
Pow...!! Pow...!!
A super-strength youth massaged the old man's guts with his feet, declaring, "'Respect your elders' is bullshit—respect my legacy."
"Aigoo, you're killing me--!!"
If you'd stuck around to watch the honorary title faker meet his end—whether from bliss or actual death—you'd have seen it all live.
"...Ha, haha... H-hey, kid? What the hell is that hand? You can't seriously mean to bring it to me, right...?"
No matter how thick-skulled and humility-proof someone was, when their life was on the line, they'd fake it.
Beneath his naturally bowed waist and head from the shifting situation, he hid his scowl as best he could. The entitled prick, not truly sorry but planning a few fake bows before bolting—right in his face.
"You know what? My nickname's 'Brand Maker.' But it's not what you think it means."
"...What? What the--"
"Short for 'Octopus Human Maker,' you fucking bastard! Go find yourself a wig to wear from now on!"
Szzzzzt...!!
Soon, smoke from sizzling white-and-black protein rose from his scalp.
The era where you could be rude without fear of a cracked skull—and thus hassle others freely—was over.
They were just specimens of the strong-prey-on-weak dynamic, enabled by a safe world.
"How can you just sizzle someone's head like that! You're a public figure, you know better...!"
"Ah! Just sign up as a mandatory gate warden for weekend duty! God, you're so damn chatty!"
In this slightly more barbaric age favoring savagery over civility—mutual head-smashing confirmation era—fat chance.
"Aigoo, come right on in! We'll assign you to a gate near home!"
After a thorough beating, they'd just become fodder for judicial plea deals replacing red license plates.
Sure, during service, gate monster byproducts got sold as national assets, with a cut supposedly funding the idiots' treatment who started shit...
"What can I do, my ability's just too strong? The core resource accidentally went up in flames!"
"...Why do things only burn on weekends during service, and get neatly contained on weekdays...? Never mind."
Would there really be no one salty enough to deny even that pittance and pull a "petty stan" stunt?
Surprisingly, footing the bill for self-treatment after waiting was the "mild" version of grudge-holding.
When personal beefs arose between individuals, they'd at least hash it out legally somehow.
BOOM--!!
But a lunatic with eyes rolled back, ignoring their own losses to wipe out your entire species? A maniac fueled solely by revenge, belly full and rich in spirit, jumping for joy?
History books from neighboring dust bowls were full of it: fishbone metal thorns, live metal guzheng tosses, hammer throws—you name it.
Wheeeeeen.....
"Finally found you. Hey, big ears. You know why I'm here?"
"Y-you psycho! Touch that and you won't leave here in one piece either...!!"
In a high-rise building amid the silent forest of skyscrapers, devoid of any human presence.
Even collapsed with wounds all over, the top brass flailed his one working arm desperately, crawling toward him—as if to end his suffering.
"Aw, why worry about me now? Worry about yourself."
Crunch!
A young man gave that noble finger—which issued all the orders—the treatment it deserved.
If you couldn't bear a crown's weight, at least handle a commoner's boot to qualify as a leader, right?
"Gaaahhh...!! Aaaagh! You damn bastard..."
They say the scariest person in the world is one with nothing to lose.
"Wasn't you who gave the order, but... whatever. Screw up with one subordinate, the boss takes the heat."
--Next life, make damn sure to order a confirmation kill, got it?
Crunch!
Not long after Earth's harsh environment birthed a premium lone wolf to exact his revenge.
Flash--!!
In the silent void of space, without even a sound.
A star flared, completing its final act as it exhausted its lifespan.
For the price of pissing off just one lunatic, it was too grand a suffering.
"...Captain William. What the hell am I looking at right now?"
"...Oh, God damn it."
One gate on Earth had completely shut down.
A miracle wrought by a single human equipped with the mindset to endure personal inconvenience, life's pains, and rewards not matching effort.
One who found satisfaction in making others' lives just a bit more miserable.
The first such incident since gates opened five years and one month ago.