Chapter 52
Chapter 52
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 52
Chapter Title: Shoulder Tackle (2)
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Seeing Suyeon's furious face stirs up a whirlwind of thoughts.
Was she always this emotionally expressive?
No matter how much I joked around or carefully picked out gifts she'd like and brought them to her,
she'd always stayed stone-faced. And now, she's finally showing some emotion.
It's a shame that the emotion she's showing after so long is anger and irritation, but...
These feelings have already left my hands, so I decided not to worry about it.
"Seonghyeon. Who's that woman? I think I saw her once in front of the house last time..."
"Don't worry about it, Dahye. Let's go inside."
I tried to ignore her and head into the apartment,
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ but of course, it wasn't going to end that easily.
Suyeon grabbed my sleeve from behind.
Now her face was a mix of anger, irritation, and hurt.
"Talk to me first. You can't just break up over a few texts! I can't accept that!"
"Doesn't matter if you can't accept it. It's over anyway, so just think of me as an asshole."
"Hey, Kwon Seonghyeon!"
My heart twisted painfully.
I hadn't felt this way in a while.
Was being around Suyeon always this uncomfortable? Or was I annoyed because Dahye was hearing her yelling?
Dahye stood there frozen, looking unsure what to do.
She didn't deserve to be treated like this. I felt insanely sorry.
"Dahye, go inside first. I'll talk to her for a bit and come up."
"Okay... sure."
Dahye disappeared behind the elevator doors.
My heart was still uneasy, but now that Dahye was gone, I figured I could handle whatever she threw at me.
Dahye had become my home for me. I couldn't let something like this bother her.
At the very least, in our home, I wanted Dahye to live carefree and smiling, without any fears of who might show up at the door.
So, whether I got cursed out or had to curse back—this ridiculous drama ends here.
"Cheon Suyeon, if you have something to say, spit it out quick."
"You're just gonna leave me standing here? Let's at least go to a café."
"Say it here."
"Please... Seonghyeon... I'm your girlfriend. And we're not done yet!"
There it was again.
[I'm your girlfriend.]
[You're my boyfriend.]
It was Suyeon's go-to line.
Whenever I disappointed her or did something she didn't like, out it came as her evidence.
The reason our relationship was unhappy? Me, apparently.
Proof that I was trash.
I felt like throwing up.
"Fine, let's go. Whatever you have to say, wrap it up in ten minutes."
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ In front of Suyeon and me sat espresso cups.
I couldn't stand the stuff, but it was the cheapest thing on the menu, so that's what I ordered.
Not like I planned to drink it anyway.
Suyeon scoffed at the sight, glared at me, and said,
"I won't even ask about that woman."
"Doesn't matter. Just say what you came to say."
"What's your problem? Yeah, I complained a bit because things were tough these past few months. But... isn't breaking up like this a bit much?"
"Is what you want some proper procedure? Should I say it again? Let's break up?"
"Seonghyeon... that's not what I mean. Why are you like this... I'm really struggling here..."
I knew.
I knew she was struggling without her having to say it.
Whenever I didn't message first, or didn't listen to her complaints well enough, or even during our dates—
no, maybe in every moment we spent together.
She was struggling because of me.
Struggling. Upset. Exhausted.
Every second we spent together was filled with words like that, so now I wondered why she was doing this.
Suyeon had such a tough time dating me—why was she wasting time holding onto me now?
"Suyeon, let me ask just one thing. Why are you doing this? What do you hope to get out of talking more?"
"Seonghyeon... how can you change so much in just a few months... This isn't you."
"I haven't changed. You don't like me anymore, and I'm tired. That's it."
"I... why wouldn't I like you... That's not it, Seonghyeon."
"I thought so too. That's why I tried even harder. But it wasn't true."
"What wasn't... Don't just assume things..."
"This isn't you. You're my boyfriend. You can't do that."
"What are you talking about all of a sudden?"
"It's your favorite line. The one you always throw at me. I'm always saying the wrong things, you're always frustrated you can't fix me—what part of me do you even like?"
"Hey, Kwon Seonghyeon!"
"Don't kid yourself. You don't like me. You're just trying to force me into the boyfriend you want. Stop wasting time and find someone who fits your standards."
That was all I had to say.
No matter what, Suyeon wouldn't accept it.
Because everything I said was beyond her common sense.
If I stayed here any longer, she'd pick apart every point, explain why I was wrong, and back it up with reasons to correct me.
Then I'd shut up like trash again and try harder to be a better boyfriend.
For how long?
Until I realized I'd never meet her standards.
Until I realized that the more I tried, the more insignificant I became.
I'd realized it. She hadn't.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ Two months ago,
February 2nd. Her birthday.
I'd booked a hotel, prepared wine and flowers.
The gift was a watch she'd been eyeing online.
Things had been awkward lately, but busy working adults couldn't help it.
I firmly believed a good night together would fix everything, so I prepared for the day I'd meet Suyeon.
[Sorry, gotta pull an all-nighter at work, can't meet tonight. Feel so bad about it?]
All of it vanished with one belated phone call.
I hurriedly canceled the reservation, trimmed the ends of the bouquet, and stuck them in a vase.
Work was work—no helping it.
[Happy birthday. Sorry I couldn't say it in person.]
I sent it with emojis and cute pics to dress it up.
No reply.
But it was her birthday, so I didn't want to dwell on my disappointment.
I headed straight to the office.
Normally, I'd game alone in my room, but...
Spending her birthday on a hobby she hated felt wrong, so I figured I'd just work.
On that late arrival,
I spotted Suyeon at a café near the office.
Sitting across from some guy, chatting.
Her being there wasn't special.
The office was close, after all.
I just stared blankly at her.
I didn't think she was cheating or lying to me.
If so, she wouldn't do it right by my office like an idiot.
Probably a meeting or break with a coworker—that made sense.
But even thinking that, I couldn't tear my eyes away.
Her hips wiggling on the chair.
Her hands waving in the air as she reacted.
Her hand covering her mouth as she giggled.
What I saw was her smile.
A smile I could never draw out.
Early in our relationship, Suyeon used to make that face around me.
But now my texts were her work notepad, calls lasted under a minute, dates were once a week if lucky—that smile had become foreign.
Seeing it, I realized.
We ended long ago.
It wasn't a lack of effort on my part. I was the problem.
A smile she could give so easily to some nobody—I'd never see it.
To Suyeon,
I'd become more worthless than a stranger.
I prepared to break up.
Because slowly drifting apart hurt too much.
Because every moment reminded me how inadequate I was.
Because neither she nor I could be happy together.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ "Kwon Seonghyeon! I'm not done talking!"
"Don't ever do this again. I'm leaving."
"It's that woman, isn't it!? Disgusting, acting all lovesick with some kid! She's a gaming buddy, right? How long are you gonna live like a pathetic loser!?"
Now that we're strangers, her true colors show.
I knew she was stubborn, but... I didn't realize she'd go this far when we were dating.
I'd felt a twinge of guilt, but hearing that sealed it.
I could never be happy with Suyeon.
Same for her.
"Mention her one more time, and I'll slap you. Don't come find me again."
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ I'm exhausted.
I couldn't shut her down, couldn't make her see my side.
I just notified her it was over.
But those ten minutes felt like three hours—my whole body drained.
Coming home, Dahye was waiting at the door.
Fidgeting with her mouth and fingers.
I'd come back all puffed up from yelling, and there she was with that pitiful look.
"Seonghyeon... you're back?"
"Yeah. Why are you just standing there."
"I was... worried something happened. Did the talk go okay?"
"Yeah."
"Good... Wanna get some ice cream?"
Dahye didn't ask anything more, just smiled at me.
Even now, looking into her eyes, I hear her say she loves me.
Those words were sincere, yet Dahye never asked who Suyeon was.
A woman showing up at our door in the middle of the night—anyone would be curious.
I knew why Dahye didn't ask.
It was written all over her face.
Worry for me outweighed jealousy or curiosity.
How could someone be like that? But... I was so grateful.
My commute home today had been the happiest in the world because of Dahye.
Until reality shoulder-tackled me at the end...
So my stomach was churning now...
But in front of Dahye, I wanted to be happy.
As much as I wanted her to be happy in our home, I wanted to be happy too.
"Dahye."
"Yeah!"
"Hug me."
"Kyaa!"
Dahye let out a weird squeak and jumped into my arms.
I cupped her chin and looked at her face—she wore the happiest smile in the world.
How could her expressions change so fast?
Was it because she loved me? Or was it my love for her leaking out, making her smile like that?
And what expression was I making as I looked at Dahye?
"Dahye. What do you think my face looks like right now?"
"Hm... dumb? Or no—happy?"
"That's good enough."
Suyeon's final expression from moments ago flashed in my mind.
A look that choked the air out of me just seeing it. Accusation and resentment.
I had no clue what she was thinking when she pushed me away or clung to me.
If it's love, shouldn't it be this simple?
Just wanting each other to be happy.
I couldn't understand relationships where you say you love each other but hurt, torment, and strangle one another...
Not at 29.
"Dahye, that woman earlier? My ex."
"Oh... kinda figured. What'd she say? Wanna get back together?"
"Who cares. If she shows up when I'm not here, smash her with a brick."
"Whoa! You'd go to jail! You serious?"
"Crazy. It's a joke."
"I know, dummy. Hehe."
Seeing Dahye's silly smile settled my churning stomach.
Suyeon's last look was kinda scary...
But with her pride wrecked, she probably wouldn't show up again.
That's what I thought, so I never expected it.
No—even if I hadn't, I couldn't have imagined it.
Not too far in the future,
I'd end up at the police station for real.