Chapter 49
Chapter 49
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 49
Chapter Title: 48. Rock Smash
-----------------------------------------------------------------
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ Welcome, traveler!
This is a safe place, so sit by the campfire and rest easy!
Hehe, come on in!
I'm so excited today that even the voice in my head feels louder.
So please turn down the volume in your own heads a bit.
Wow.
The noisiest day in the world already feels like yesterday.
After wandering the World Tree Labyrinth all day with my animal friends, I'm finally back at the shelter, catching my breath.
Right now, I'm hugging Seonghyeon and reminiscing about yesterday.
I thought the guild get-together would be a bit more grown-up,
but the guildmates I was expecting didn't show, and instead, monkey, chicken, and dinosaur friends appeared outside the door.
The awkwardness didn't last long at all.
Before I knew it, I was swept up in the vibe watching Seonghyeon and Mabaji noona bicker.
And you know what?
It was Seonghyeon's idea, but the sous-vide machine is seriously amazing!
My pink steak, cooked by my own hands, was devoured deliciously by the animal friends.
Seonghyeon's house is definitely real life.
But yesterday's memories don't feel real at all.
We all eagerly shared stories from Billion Saga, naturally reminiscing about eight years of memories.
Without even turning on the computers or typing in chat.
It felt like the fake world I used to live in had become reality.
I, who clung to Billion Saga, felt like I was living in the real world, and I ended up crying without realizing it.
It's all because of Seonghyeon.
Ever since I started wishing to become someone worthy of him, so many things have changed.
The love Seonghyeon gave me has spread to others on its own.
To Manager Kwak, Manager Park, the cosplay team, and even the guild unnies and oppas.
Before, no matter how many people were around, I wasn't interested.
Now, when people make me laugh, I want to make them laugh too, and when they share their stories, I want to share mine.
I'm so proud!
Today's me feels just a tiny bit more grown-up than yesterday.
Even though at the end... I ended up crying because I didn't want this moment to end.
But I tried hard...
I hope you all can praise me and say I did well.
After screaming and chatting with my kind animal friends, now I'm lying in bed, enjoying the quiet.
I haven't stepped a foot outside the house, yet it feels like I've returned from a long, distant journey.
Seonghyeon is in my arms right now, eyes closed, perfectly still.
His breathing is so quiet, but he's still awake.
It's been over ten minutes already,
that's weird.
"Seonghyeon. Not sleeping?"
"Can't sleep."
"Whoa... Guess I'm not sleepy anymore... What do we do...?"
"It's not that. Just... I've got a lot on my mind."
"What're you thinking about?"
"Secret."
Even though I'm hugging him this tightly, he can't sleep.
It's a bit shocking.
Normally, he'd fall asleep in two minutes leaning on my back, or less than one if I hold him.
How serious must his thoughts be to last ten minutes?
I grab Seonghyeon's face to read his mind.
His eyes are warmly gentle as always, and his lips curve in a smile.
But that's strange.
Seonghyeon is clearly smiling, yet watching him makes me sadder and sadder.
"Dahye, how was the get-together? Tell me about it."
Hiding my unease, I share my feelings with Seonghyeon.
Of course, it was really fun.
Meeting great people, adventuring together, sharing delicious food, planning the next one.
It was joyful.
I didn't tell Seonghyeon this, but the best moment is right now.
Holding the happy memories from the adventure in my heart, knowing there's a home to return to.
And someone to share the stories with—that's the greatest happiness.
At the orphanage or the goshiwon, I'd grin to myself and scribble in my picture diary for fun things.
But I haven't written in my diary for two weeks already.
Because Seonghyeon is here.
There's someone who laughs when I tell my stories, so I don't need a diary anymore.
Now I get it.
The reason the unfamiliar get-together and cosplay were fun is because I have a home to come back to.
Whether happy or sad, knowing someone will comfort me when I get home makes my heart feel secure.
But not for Seonghyeon, it seems.
Today's Seonghyeon was a splendid adult.
Sometimes he'd cleverly banter as the MC to liven things up,
other times he'd prepare snacks like a mom when everyone was hungry,
listen to worries like a counselor,
all while checking on my mood and worrying about me—a truly great adult.
He's someone who lives so capably on his own without worries,
so what could be troubling him that he can't sleep even after staying up all night?
Why does his face look sad?
I recall what Guild Master oppa said at dawn.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ "Just watching Dahye makes me think—you're just like Seonghyeon was as a kid, aren't you?"
"Me like Seonghyeon? In what way?"
"Just... the way you talk, so innocent and pure, it feels like a puppy."
"Seonghyeon is always like that though?"
Mabaji noona recoiled and said,
"Eww, hilarious. These days, you're lucky if he even responds. You think he cares about people? You're just special, Dahye, so you wouldn't know."
"Is that so... But he was different as a kid?"
"Yeah, I remember too. When I first joined the guild, he was all 'noona, noona,' so cute... Even though we were the same age. Come to think of it... when did he turn into such a cold guy?"
"He changed bit by bit over the eight years."
To me, Seonghyeon has always been the same.
But others can't feel that overflowing affection from him anymore.
Why is that?
Only Guild Master knows Seonghyeon from back then.
Not even Seongah unni.
If I miss this chance, I'll never hear this story.
Let's ask!
"Guild Master, do you know why Seonghyeon changed?"
Guild Master replied,
"Not everyone becomes friends just because you smile and split ways nicely. He's been used, stabbed in the back, and gradually changed. Hmm... not changed, but grown? Maybe he's just trying to act like an adult in his own way."
If that's really it...
It's the complete opposite of me.
I was so closed off, unable to love anyone, but now I'm reaching out to people.
Seonghyeon, overflowing with love, seems to be pushing people away as time goes on.
I thought adults could do anything.
That they always knew the right answers.
When I said that, Mabaji noona replied,
"What's so special about being an adult? My inner self is still a kid like in high school, but with responsibilities piling up and no room to whine, I just handle things, and suddenly I'm treated like an adult. Probably the same even at fifty."
Come to think of it...
I'm an adult too, but not much different from when I was a kid.
Reflecting on unni and oppa's words, a thought suddenly hits me.
Maybe... the reason Seonghyeon is sad right now...
Is because of me?
I feel at ease because he feels like home, but it's not really my house.
Seonghyeon has no peace of mind taking care of me,
and maybe I'm forcing an adult mask on him and making him perform.
I recall the day I first saw Seonghyeon, his face tear-streaked and tantruming.
Like Mabaji unni said, maybe there's a kid inside Seonghyeon's heart too.
If so... I want to do it too.
Become the big sister to ten-year-old Seonghyeon and say, "Don't worry about a thing with me here—just sleep!"
Comfort him like that.
Then maybe Seonghyeon will see me as home and fall into a deep sleep.
I don't mind if Seonghyeon isn't an adult.
No, I wish he'd become a kid and lean on me fully.
"Seonghyeon."
"Yeah?"
"Can you trust me and do exactly as I say, just once?"
"Why so scary all of a sudden."
"I'll take responsibility and put you to sleep. Can't you trust me just once?"
"What are you, a sleeping pill... I'll fall asleep eventually. Don't feel responsible."
"No way. This is party play."
I don't know what Seonghyeon is thinking, but at least when we're lying in bed together, I want him free of all worries.
Leave the worries and troubles outside that door.
I want him to focus only on me, like nothing else exists.
I try to undo Seonghyeon's pajamas, but he flails.
"Hey, what are you doing!"
"Shh! I'm giving orders in bed. Stay still!"
I've done this enough times to know.
Leaning on the back or just hugging isn't as reassuring as skin-to-skin warmth.
I take off my pajamas and slip into his.
That stimulating heat, that sensation, spreads through my whole body—impossible not to sleep.
Seonghyeon can't resist either.
Once he feels this, embarrassment, worries, sadness—all fly away, leaving just me and Seonghyeon in the world.
I unwrap the arms around my back, clinging desperately like falling off a cliff.
We hold each other.
I pat Seonghyeon's silent back.
"It's okay, Seonghyeon."
I hope Seonghyeon realizes.
That in this room, there's only him and me.
Who’s the adult and who’s the kid doesn’t matter.
What matters is that Seonghyeon is my home, and I can be his.
"It's okay. Everything will be okay."
Seonghyeon now clings to me like a baby, desperately.
His hot breath touches my skin.
The breaths grow deeper, slower.
Feeling that warmth, I let go too.
"Seonghyeon."
"Yeah...?"
"Just calling your name."
Today, hanging out with unni and oppa made me feel like I'd grown up.
I can talk to people well now, make friends.
I felt closer to Seonghyeon, and it was nice.
Maybe it's just my illusion.
"Seonghyeon... asleep?"
"No..."
My path to becoming a social adult might be completely different from getting closer to Seonghyeon.
Maybe the pathetic gamer Dahye Park is better at saving the desperately pretending adult Seonghyeon than the great socialite Dahye Park.
So isn't this fine as is?
"Seonghyeon."
"Yeah."
There are heroes who save the world with just a rock, no fancy sword or armor.
It's okay not to be cool.
So...
Right now, I want to focus only on me and Seonghyeon's hearts.
"I love you."
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇