Chapter 25
Chapter 25
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 25
Chapter Title: Permission to Hug (2)
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◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ Hello, this is Park Dahye.
You've come again!
I was waiting for you.
I need to go to sleep soon, but it's nice to have even this leftover time together.
I'll give you the best seat, so hurry and sit down.
I have so much I want to say today.
My legs are shaking, and my body feels like it's being sucked into the bed from exhaustion.
Still, it was such an incredibly fun day.
I went on a date with Seonghyeon!
"Let's go on a date."
My heart started pounding from the morning with Seonghyeon's sudden suggestion.
I haven't really hung out with friends much.
In Billion Saga, I've been on thousands of adventures, but in reality, I've always been in front of the computer.
What do people even do on dates?
I pictured fancy restaurants or amusement parks from dramas I watched as a kid, but I quickly realized something.
Dates are fun even if you're just walking together.
Even lying in bed now, staring at the pitch-black ceiling, today's events play back like a movie.
So today, instead of just talking to myself, it's a picture diary.
I pick and choose the sparkling scenes from the day that come to mind when I close my eyes.
Then I draw underlines beneath them and add footnotes.
That's what I want to share with all of you.
Where should I start?
Right, it has to be that moment.
When I changed into new clothes and was waiting for Seonghyeon at the door!
Seonghyeon showed up wearing a light purple, cute long-sleeved T-shirt.
With his short bangs swept up, his pretty forehead was on display.
So handsome.
Seonghyeon is always neat, but today his groomed eyebrows made him look especially striking.
And then he looks at me and says this.
"You're insanely pretty."
Ugh!
It felt like a fist slammed right into my solar plexus.
He's never once called me pretty before.
The first time, and it's "insanely pretty"?
Seonghyeon always exceeds my expectations in weird ways, but this time it was too much.
We were supposed to go on a date,
but I wanted to flop onto the sofa right then and writhe around, replaying those words.
That's how good it felt.
But I know that wasn't Seonghyeon's real feelings.
I figured out why he said it.
The moment we arrived in the bustling downtown area full of people, I froze solid.
I'd felt a bit uneasy even at the café. Why was that?
Just meeting people's eyes made my head spin and my breath catch in my throat.
It felt like everyone was staring at me, yelling at me—I wanted to crawl into a hole.
I wasn't like this at the orphanage. Maybe it's because I've been cooped up in that tiny goshiwon for so long.
I never realized people could be this scary until today.
But Seonghyeon didn't even give me time to tremble in anxiety.
He grabbed my hand and started taking photos.
Then he lands a second punch mercilessly right in my solar plexus.
"You're the prettiest person on this street today. I guarantee it, one hundred percent."
Impressive, right?
I didn't even know I'd be shaking like this.
Seonghyeon must have noticed this situation way before I did—long, long before.
That's why he called me pretty.
So I could stand tall among the crowd.
How can he be so kind?
So those "pretty" words probably weren't sincere.
But why do I keep thinking about that consideration dressed up as "pretty"?
Even more than the cherry blossom-filled park or the burger with juices dripping everywhere— that one line at the door pops up more often.
I wish I really was insanely pretty.
That one phrase flows through my day like a good-luck charm clutched tight in my pocket.
The park was full of blooming cherry blossoms.
There was a cherry tree at the orphanage too, but I'd never thought it was pretty.
But today, it was so beautiful.
The pink petals, the couples holding hands beneath them—they were all so lovely, I wanted to join in.
But with so many people around, even Seonghyeon's charm lost its effect.
The moment I started minding the crowd, the world turned pitch black.
I stood there alone in that darkness, suffocating.
I squeezed my eyes shut, barely holding onto my sanity.
That's when Seonghyeon lent his strength once more.
He wrapped me up tight in a hat and sunglasses, gripping both my hands firmly.
Wait. Wasn't skinship forbidden?
But he says it without a care.
"Alright, let's go, Pokttal."
I know the no-skinship rule he mentioned was real.
Knowing that made me a little sad for a moment.
Seonghyeon always pours all his attention into me.
The moment he spotted me anxious, he threw out the no-skinship decree in an instant and came rushing to save me.
My misfortune reached Seonghyeon again.
That's why I'm sad.
But thanks to him, the pitch-black world started coming into focus.
Seonghyeon calls this place a dungeon, but not to my eyes.
This is the park with the world's most beautiful cherry blossoms.
We walk through it, hands clasped tight.
What was I so afraid of?
No matter how anxious I get, no matter what happens, Seonghyeon will tank it for me.
We're an old party that's been together for eight years.
I'd forgotten that.
With Seonghyeon by my side, it feels like the world flows just the way I want.
His kind words and actions are the result of so much effort, yet I forget that and just lean on him.
I'm having so much fun right now, but...
I don't want to live as someone who only receives help from Seonghyeon.
Back home, I learned to cook from Seonghyeon.
I chopped the radish, carrots, and onions, and he turned them into delicious braised short ribs.
All you have to do is chop, he said. So it's my dish, apparently.
I don't know if it's true, but hearing him say it's delicious made my eyes well up a bit.
Yeah.
Now I get it for sure.
I don't want to be someone who receives help from Seonghyeon—I want to be the one giving it.
Like when we first met in Billion Saga.
I want to be the one holding Seonghyeon's hand, guiding the way.
In reality, he's a fine adult and I'm just a pathetic kid,
but if only it were reversed, like in Billion Saga—me the ranker, him the noob.
Impossible, right?
But maybe...
It might be possible.
Maybe there's something I can do to help Seonghyeon?
I'm too young and have no social experience, so I wouldn't know,
but perhaps Seonghyeon isn't as strong as I think.
Today at the salon, I heard something from his sister.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ While Seonghyeon was away, Seongah unnie cut my hair.
She's super lively when he's around,
but right now she's calm.
Just her smile and gestures put me at ease...
She's just like Seonghyeon!
Family indeed.
Then, midway through the haircut, she asked me this.
"Can I ask what your relationship with Seonghyeon is?"
"Sure! We're gaming buddies!"
"Really? Not like, getting married or something? Weird... That guy brings a girl home out of nowhere. Never thought I'd see the day."
"Uh... I heard he had a girlfriend until recently..."
"He had a girlfriend? News to me. He never tells me anything about himself."
"Why not? You're family..."
"Not all families are close, you know. Some just make your chest tighten thinking about them. Ours is... pretty awful, actually."
"I had no idea."
"Are you close with Seonghyeon? How often do you see him in a week?"
"Uh... We just met two days ago... But now we live together, so every day."
"You live together!?"
"Uh... Yeah... Is that bad?"
"No, not my place to meddle... Wow, you're really something, miss. Doesn't he act uncomfortable? He can't even sleep if there's someone else in the house."
"He sleeps fine..."
"How'd you trick him into it? What'd you say to make him agree to live together?"
"Uh... Nothing. He suggested it first."
"He did!? Wow... What the heck... For real."
"What's so weird about that?"
"Me and Seonghyeon both have some trauma. His is worse than mine. He says his heart races just from footsteps outside the door. That's why he tried living at our place but ended up moving out. For him to live with someone, you must be really perceptive."
What?
The Seonghyeon I know isn't like that.
"He's not... Seonghyeon is super mature. He always takes care of me. He worries about me instead. He's the finest adult I know."
When I said that, unnie looked me up and down, then nodded like she finally got it.
What does that mean?
"Hmm... I see. What about him seems mature to you, Dahye?"
"He knows when I'm struggling without me saying anything... Comforts me first... And helps right away when I'm anxious..."
"Ah... So to you, that looks mature."
"Isn't it?"
"It's not maturity. He's just been beaten down so much. He knows pain himself, so when he sees it in others, he gets scared ahead of time."
I'd never thought of it that way.
Because he knows pain so well?
Thinking about it, maybe.
Someone truly great and strong wouldn't understand others' pain.
How could they notice emotions they've never felt?
Maybe... Seonghyeon is even more sensitive than I realize.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ After the haircut and learning how to do makeup, she gave me a ton of cosmetics.
And Seongah unnie handed me an envelope of cash.
"What's this?"
"It's not my money—it's what Seonghyeon paid today. Hold onto it for him, Dahye."
"Me? Why..."
"He won't even let me buy him a meal, so bugging him feels awkward. Better if the person right next to him takes care of it. Use it to feed him something tasty."
She calls it a bad family, but how can such a good family exist?
I'm jealous.
Unnie's last words were this.
"Dahye, one shameless request. Stick by Seonghyeon's side as much as you can. He's fated to die alone after living that way forever, but having someone there puts him at ease. Thanks."
Strange, right?
From what unnie says, it sounds like I'm the one helping Seonghyeon.
I'm just living with him.
The day I first met Seonghyeon.
I remember him crying in front of me.
Crying and wailing like a ten-year-old throwing a tantrum.
Maybe... Beneath his mature facade, there's another side I don't know about.
If so, maybe there's something I can do.
Right now, even.
Seonghyeon's lying in the next room.
Is he asleep?
What if he can't sleep? She said his insomnia is bad.
Let's send a signal.
No special ulterior motive or anything.
For real.
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