But If It's a Dangerous Day, Can't We Just Do It From Behind?
Trilling— The sticky alarm blared in my ears, and I swatted blindly at my bedside. My hand swept under the pillow until it bumped into something hard, and with great effort, I finally silenced the third alarm. My eyelids felt like lead. Part of me wanted to just close my eyes again and drift off, but if I lazed around any longer, I'd really be in trouble.
I brushed back the hair tickling my eyebrows and slowly dragged myself out of bed. Sure, every morning's a battle, but today was Tuesday. For lovely pretty college girl Song Yuwon—who had Mondays off as a free period—the week kicked off on Tuesday. Maybe because I got that extra day of rest compared to everyone else, the Monday blues—or Tuesday blues, really—hit me even harder.
With half-lidded eyes, I shuffled to the fridge and grabbed a cold can of soda. Pssht—the crisp fizz and tangy liquid stung my tongue as it went down. The rough bite of carbonation down my throat shoved out the lingering sweet drowsiness from my body. After that, I started getting ready for school, stumbling through the motions.
I showered in hot water, then stepped out naked to dry my hair. Sitting at the vanity, I applied a light layer of basic makeup before heading to the closet to pick my outfit. With the thick winter clothes out of the way, the closet felt a bit roomier, and I reached for my usual safe bet—a shirt and pants—but paused mid-motion.
"Should I try that on?"
My gaze landed on the white knit short-sleeve tee and low-rise crop jeans hanging there—the exact combo Song Yunseo had recommended. Just then, the newscaster Euna's voice from the video I'd left playing in the shower echoed in my mind: It's going to get pretty warm starting today. It tugged at my hesitant hand.
Yeah, I can't wear shirts forever.
I slipped into the outfit and stood before the mirror, and regret started creeping in. It was a short-sleeve tee, sure, but the knit fabric was thick enough that my bra silhouette didn't show through. That part I liked. When clothes get thinner in warmer weather, underwear lines are the biggest worry, after all.
But…
"Why does this feel so short?"
The crop length made it unavoidably short. And the snug fit clung to my body, unlike my usual shirts, outlining the full curve of my breasts. Not to mention the low-rise jeans—the waistband barely grazed above my hips. Naturally, the woman in the mirror flaunted a taut, flawless white lower belly beneath those curved breasts.
"Was it this short?"
Did I mess up the laundry? I tugged at the hem, but my navel stubbornly refused to hide. I swear, in the changing room… it looked fine in front of Song Yunseo…
The thought of stepping outside like this made my resolve waver. Should I change? Time was tight, though. The knit was so form-fitting that yanking it off would mess up my carefully styled hair. Fixing that and swapping outfits would take too long—about as long as that one alarm I'd snoozed past!
"Ah, whatever!"
Yeah, everyone dresses like this these days. And it didn't even look bad on me. With that thought, I shoved down the lingering resistance. I couldn't keep avoiding revealing clothes forever with a body like this.
Decision made—I ignored it. Overthinking would just make it worse. I forced myself to look away from the pale skin in the mirror, applied my lip color, and chanted a self-hypnosis mantra.
~ It'd been three whole years since I'd been lugging around these hefty lumps on my chest. I was used to checking if the toilet seat was down every time I went to the bathroom. (The first time, in a rush, I'd plopped down without looking and nearly fell in twice.) Sticking and removing pads from my panty liner was second nature now. (You have to think about your body's shape when you place it—slap it on carelessly, and blood leaks or it twists up.) Moving with those chest lumps in mind came naturally, without conscious thought. (Mess it up, and people think you're flirting on purpose—gotta be careful!)
Long story short: I'd adapted pretty well to life as a woman—Song Yujeong, aka. Song Yuwon.
And yet. To be brutally honest, I still found it easier dealing with guys than girls.
Take my interests, for starters. In group chats, stuff like Transit Love or Couple's Paradise got everyone hyped, but I was more drawn to watching the chicken joint fall apart after Heung left. I'd pick a dingy PC bang's worn leather chairs over the perfume-drenched luxury floor of a department store any day. My YouTube algorithm was packed with sports highlights, game updates, next season's anime previews.
Sure, lately cosmetics tutorials, seasonal lookbooks, and aesthetic vlogs had started popping up. But even factoring those in, it was a stretch to call it a typical college girl's feed.
Hell, I'd even abandoned my Insta for "social life" purposes.
Yeah. Even living as woman Song Yuwon—not man Song Yujeong. Even enjoying a woman's body and its pleasures to the fullest.
The OS still loaded inside me was closer to high school boy Song Yujeong, at least when it came to interests.
In this state, my circle was full of girls. Most people I chatted with on the go were women. Among them, the ones I could really open up to were the three waiting for me right now at the department entrance.
With guys, it was just light hellos. Hanjiu treated Song Yuwon the college girl as Song Yujeong, so he was a pass anyway.
High school girls had kept a dry distance from me back then, and now I was the one creating it. Couldn't be helped.
'Try not to get tangled up with guys if you can help it.'
That was Song Yunseo's parting advice last winter when I boarded the bus to Seoul for orientation.
'Even if you don't want that, with your looks, guys will come to you.'
Innocent freshman-mode Song Yujeong had thought it was overkill. Guys were easier to deal with than girls, so I'd planned to hang with a few who clicked. But after getting hit on by a classmate who hadn't exchanged a single word with me during orientation afterparty… I changed my mind.
Anyway, long story short again.
"H-hey… g-good morning! It's a b-bit hot today, huh?"
At the department entrance where I'd agreed to meet my friends. A tiny bit—no, a smidge—late, judging by the texts, and these friend-bitches who'd been hounding me like they wanted to devour me alive were just staring blankly.
Standing stock-still, staring at me. At my body. At my curved breasts over the white knit tee and my stark-white lower belly!
"Wh-what's with you all? Let's go in already, ugh, so hot!"
The vibe from the three was off—intense—so I tried tugging their arms, but they didn't budge. And with that as the signal…
"Wh-who are you? Where'd you ditch our Yuwon for this sleek big sis?"
"Song Yuwon, you bitch! Finally showing your true colors, huh? Dressing like a total slut to reel in the guys?"
"Whoa, what's with Yuwon today? Check out that fit! You should dress like this all the time."
The three who'd been rooted like statues suddenly shrieked and swarmed me from both sides, lunging in a frenzy. Drawing every eye around us.
I'm losing it, seriously.
Truth be told, the stares I'd gotten on the way here felt different from usual. They'd been refined enough to endure before, but today's were blatant, sticky, clinging to every curve. The weight of those obsessive gazes had already drained my HP near zero…
And now this? I couldn't take anymore.
"St-stop… pleaseee."
I pleaded with teary eyes, but…
"Why? You look hot!"
"Look at those savage tits! I should've noticed when you kept them all bundled up!"
"Seo Dayeon, shut it! Anyway, Song Yuwon—what's with the sudden glow-up? What wind blew in to make you dress like this?"
They weren't the type to back down easy. The wicked trio brushed off their friend's desperate plea with peals of laughter.
"Hey, girls. I'll run back quick and change. Being a little late once won't kill us."
Their stares were turning gooey too, so I started inching backward, but…
"Nuh-uh! Where you think you're going?"
Seo Dayeon had snuck behind me at some point, wrapping her arms around my waist and hugging tight from the back. And with that…
The other two, faces like lecherous beasts, closed in from the front.
"But seriously, insane. I knew Yuwon had big boobs, but this waist? How's this waist possible with these tits? No hip pads, right?"
The cute-faced one with wide eyes reaching to cop a feel—Yoon Chaewon.
"Right?! If you'd dressed like this sooner, it'd have been so much better! I was about to burst from frustration!"
I had no idea why her chest was bursting if I dressed how I wanted, but Lee Seoeun was clucking her tongue, eyes glued to my lower belly.
"Whoa, Song Yuwon's abs—no fat at all! So toned, crazy!"
And Seo Dayeon behind me, squeezing my non-existent belly fat while hugging like a vice.
Their relentless teasing made me feel like skipping lunch altogether. I barely blocked Seoeun's hand at my chest, but every squirm pressed me against the soft jiggle from behind, turning me into a kitten bitten on the neck—I couldn't escape Dayeon's hold.
"Pl-please… just one mercy."
"Yuwon-ah, I wanna, but how can I when you're like this?"
"Real talk, at that MT when we roomed together, I fell hard watching you take off your sweater!"
"Song Yuwon, you better thank god we're not lesbians! Or… with a body like yours, maybe we could be?"
I wanted to cry. How did I end up picking these idiots as friends?