Kiss on First Sight
“You said I lack sexual appeal, and now you're gonna fill that gap for me?”
You've gotta build that charm yourself.
“Then it's me putting in the effort to get laid, not you helping me out.”
I'll create the perfect environment for you to grow it in. You think you can turn 27 years of nothing around just by trying now?
I was getting schooled by a voice with no body.
“You didn't come here just to piss me off, did you?”
It's a fact, though.
If it had a form, I'd have crushed it right there.
From now on, I'm changing the common sense in this house. To make it advantageous for you to have sex, Ji-hoon.
“Common sense?”
Just try it yourself. That's the quickest way.
The moment Yemina-i finished speaking, text appeared in the previously empty status window.
Perform the altered common sense below and claim your prize money!
To raise awareness, tutorial quests come with a penalty fine for failure.
📍 Altered Common Sense: Kissing on first meeting is just common sense.
⚠ Caution: Do not touch any part of the woman's body except her lips. Tonguing is allowed.
💰 Prize: 1,000,000 won
💸 Penalty: 500,000 won
“What the hell is this?”
It was a quest straight out of a game I'd seen a million times. But a Common Sense Quest? I was about to ask Yemina-i what it meant when a voice came from the entrance.
“Um, excuse me.”
“Yes?”
A pretty woman stood there, dressed casually with a backpack slung over one shoulder.
“This is the guest house, right?”
“Guest house?”
“Yeah. It says 'Guest House' outside.”
“No, that's...”
I hadn't seen any sign like that when I came in. What the fuck was going on?
The woman stared at me silently. Her cheeks were a little flushed, and the vibe felt kinda off.
“I don't know how you found out about this place, but I just got here myself after a long time away... Uh, where'd you see the sign?”
I threw out a question to buy time, but her response caught me off guard.
“Why aren't you kissing me?”
“Huh?”
I froze solid. What the hell was this girl saying to a total stranger?
“We're meeting for the first time—why aren't you kissing me?”
She strode right up to me. Seeing her face aimed at mine, it looked like she was gonna kiss me first.
Sure enough, she rose on her tiptoes right in front of me and wrapped her arms around my neck.
“Whoa, hold on a sec—!!”
Instinct kicked in before her lips could touch mine, and I shoved her back.
No Confucian dragon roaring inside me or anything, but what the fuck was this? The quest window from earlier flashed in my mind, but the water was already spilled.
The woman scowled, pissed off now that the kiss had failed.
“What the hell? Are you ignoring me?”
“No, no! I was just startled. I'm not ignoring you.”
Her reaction made my voice rise without thinking.
“Exactly! Why get startled over a kiss? How pathetic do you think I am that you'd make me unable to even kiss you? This pisses me off so much!”
She slammed the front door on her way out.
What the actual fuck?
Common Sense Quest (Tutorial) FAILED.
Couldn't even do something this easy? Time to pay the fine.
500,000 won (Withdrawn)
“Arrrgh—!!”
It was real. 500,000 won gone just like that. No withdrawal from me, but my balance dropped like I'd been phished. This month was already tight!
I screamed at the empty air with everything I had.
“Hey!! You there? Answer me right fucking now!”
It said penalties for failure right in the message.
“I never said I'd do it. So give me back my 500,000 won right now!”
Are you planning to reject Grandfather's dying wish? The program started the moment he made his wish. Normally you'd have to see it through, but since you're so dead set against it, I'll give you a chance. Do you refuse?
“......”
The AI suddenly got serious, and it shut me up. I'd been raging over losing real cash, but bringing up Grandfather's wish killed my anger dead.
If I said no here, it'd be betraying the old man's heart, who wished this for me.
“No, that's not... I'm not saying no forever, it's just this month is tight and suddenly 500,000 won vanishes and...”
Didn't think about the 1 million won you'd get for success, huh.
Oh.
This is the minimum payout. Prizes get bigger with every successful quest.
“For real?”
Sex plus money? No clue how high it'd go, but what guy turns down pussy and cash? Not this one.
“Alright, I can make it up on the next quest, right?”
Of course. Regular quests just end on failure, but the tutorial gives more chances. Gotta see what success looks like anyway.
“You should've said that earlier!”
I thought it'd be gone forever.
You didn't give me a chance to.
She wouldn't yield an inch. Looked human as hell, but she insisted on being AI.
No real loss, so no more reason to rage. Figuring out what the fuck was happening in this house came first.
“What was that girl? How'd she even know about this place?”
Put a random passerby under hypnosis for the tutorial. She thinks this is a guest house.
Yemina-i had hypnotized her. The quest message popped into my head the moment I heard it.
Altered Common Sense: Kissing on first meeting is just common sense.
Ah.
“That girl's common sense got altered. She thought kissing on first sight was normal.”
Quick on the uptake. She felt humiliated when you rejected it.
Greetings changed to kisses, and I rejected it. From her view, a stranger dissed her, so of course she'd rage.
Rejecting altered common sense amplifies the sense of loss due to hypnosis side effects.
“If I'd known ahead, I'd have been ready. Made her mad for nothing.”
Didn't expect you'd reject a girl offering a kiss on first meet. Your defenses are tighter than I thought.
“This job makes you like that inevitably.”
You can't accidentally touch celebs at broadcasts or events. Sparks misunderstandings, and one photo turns you into tabloid bait.
Body reacts on autopilot to incoming lips after years of that life.
“Got the gist, so hit me with the quest again.”
I clenched my fist for that 1 million won prize.
Before restarting the tutorial, a few precautions. Your status window opens after tutorial—check there anytime, so just listen now.
She laid out some quest tips.
First: Women entering this house have their common sense always altered to match.
Saw that already. Change to kiss greetings, and rejecting makes me the asshole.
Second: Women entering think any interior changes are normal.
“What? Why would the interior change?”
Yeomra's consideration to create spots women want for sex with you. Girls have fantasies about fuck spots.
I knew that. Some want comfy beds, others cramped cars despite the hassle. Parks, beaches outdoors, offices, convenience store stockrooms—women's tastes vary wildly.
Providing that? What the hell was brewing in this house?
Don't try to understand. I said I'd make a great sex environment. You just focus on fucking. I'll handle the rest.
Fair point. How do you wrap your head around altered common sense? The house jumped out of my reality the second Grandfather wished.
Continuing. Third: Women won't reject you acting per altered common sense.
“No matter what I do?”
Yes. As long as it fits the altered common sense.
This was the key. Alter their common sense, and any woman entering is fair game.
The perfect sex environment Yemina-i mentioned? A mansion ruled by altered common sense where I call the shots.
Common Sense Alteration House, indeed.
So clear quests hard to alter common sense. Pleasure, money, dream girls—all incoming. This is Grandfather's wish for his grandson.
Thought it was just sex, but Gramps's scale was huge.
A guy's every fantasy in one spot.
“One question.”
Go ahead.
“I get money, women, pleasure—but what about them? Just fuck me and done?”
As if. They get merits too. I'll explain in actual quests—varies by woman.
“For the women, anyone entering has altered common sense? No matter who?”
Nope. Only women you'd like.
“Women I'd like?”
Yeah. Pretty faces, killer bodies, high libidos, great at sucking, tight squeezers—you like that, right?
“Y-yeah.”
She called it vulgar earlier, but damn, she went straight for it.
They'll come running, so don't worry. Or summon who you want.
No idea what came after tutorial, but I'd heard enough worth hearing. Status window details after tutorial, she said.
*****
“Hypnotize another passerby?”
Could, but summon someone you want for tutorial. Gotta be a girl you've wanted to kiss, right?
A girl I wanna kiss...
Some clients came to mind, but couldn't call them down cold. No excuse, and the bereavement leave guy calling out of nowhere? Suspicious as hell.
Agency's out.
Then one face popped up. My childhood friend who'd followed me to the memorial park to comfort me.
Hoping she hadn't gone back to Seoul yet, I pulled out my phone.
