A Father's Silent Birthday Visit
Jungwoo stepped out of the house alone.
First, he posted a notice in front of the restaurant saying it would be closed for one more day, then left carrying the cake he had made himself.
The place where his wife rested was about thirty minutes away.
Not far at all.
Since Seia was surely waiting at home, he hailed a taxi right away.
Every year he felt the same thing: whenever he asked the driver to take him to the columbarium, the drivers' eyes would always change.
Used to it by now, Jungwoo climbed into the taxi and fixed his gaze out the window.
It was a road he'd seen many times, yet each time it stirred different emotions in him.
It was truly strange.
When he was with Seia, no matter where he looked, everything seemed beautiful without a single empty corner. But when he looked out alone like this, he felt a strange hollowness.
And that feeling grew little by little as time passed.
In the past, he had thought of this emptiness as longing, or perhaps sadness.
Those must have been the hardest times.
Back then, he would simply stare blankly, letting time slip by without a single thought. Just then, the driver's voice announcing their arrival broke through.
“We're here.”
If not for the driver's words, he probably would have kept staring out the window in a daze.
With the cake in one hand.
And in the other, another gift for his wife.
A few people were coming and going at the columbarium.
They too must carry the same or similar pain as Jungwoo.
“Mommy.”
“Hmm?”
At that moment, a child's voice came from one corner.
It sounded exactly like someone Seia's age.
“When is Daddy coming?”
“...He'll be here soon. Really soon.”
“You said that last time too! That he'd come soon! That he'd come after a few nights!”
Jungwoo's steps toward the inside halted, and his gaze fixed in the direction of the voices.
A young-looking mother and son were talking—perhaps a family that had already been inside and come out.
“It's true. He'll come soon. So let's wait together.”
“...You're lying!”
It didn't feel like someone else's business.
He still hadn't told Seia about her mother, and Seia had never asked about her existence.
Perhaps because of that thought, he couldn't tear his eyes away from the family.
After all, their situations weren't so different.
...I should go.
He tried to move his heavy feet, but the child's voice from earlier was now growing closer.
“It's Daddy!”
At the word “Daddy,” Jungwoo looked that way too.
Could the child's father really have appeared?
With that thought in mind.
But the child's gaze wasn't elsewhere—it was fixed precisely on Jungwoo.
“Daddy!”
“......?”
He looked behind him, but no one was there.
The person the child was calling Daddy was none other than Jungwoo himself.
The child, who had shaken off his mother's hand and run over quickly, stopped right in front of Jungwoo.
“You're Daddy, right? You are Daddy, aren't you?”
“......”
Of course that couldn't be.
There wasn't even a one percent chance, yet strangely, the words “No” wouldn't come out easily.
In the child's eyes that met his, there wasn't any real conviction that he was their father.
It was simply a look that wanted the answer “Yes, I'm Daddy.”
It seemed to want that answer regardless of the truth—just to hear those words.
Was it because he was raising a child of similar age?
He could read the meaning in that gaze so easily, which made it even harder to speak.
“I-I'm sorry.”
The mother, who had run over belatedly, apologized while trying to calm the child.
It wasn't something to apologize for.
“It's all right. No need.”
“You apologize too, quickly.”
“No! He is Daddy! He is!”
The child's voice was starting to crack with sobs.
And the child's gaze never left Jungwoo.
It was as if the child was urging him—Say it. Say that you are my daddy.
“This kid... suddenly...”
Jungwoo crouched down to match the child's eye level.
Then, with a bright smile, he gently stroked the child's head.
He said nothing.
He simply showed the kind of smile he would give Seia, and poured into it the same warmth he would give her.
“D-Daddy... hic... .”
The sparkling things in the sobbing child's eyes began to pour out.
And Jungwoo hugged that child.
As if to say it was okay.
Just as he would pat Seia's back when she fell asleep, he patted the child's back.
“Hwaaang...”
He could feel the child's arms tightening around him.
“......”
The mother watching this scene could only stand there, unable to do anything more.
The child cried like that for a long time.
As if everything bottled up inside was being poured out all at once.
Crying and crying again.
After pouring out those sparkling tears for so long, the child eventually exhausted all strength and fell asleep as if fainting.
“I-I'm so sorry. Really, I'm so sorry.”
“It's fine. Do you have a car?”
“Pardon? Ah, yes.”
Holding the child in his arms, Jungwoo walked with the mother to the car she had come in.
When he carefully laid the child in the back seat so as not to wake them, the mother stood there, not knowing what to do.
“Thank you. For doing all this...”
“It's nothing. I have a child of my own.”
The affection in Jungwoo's eyes as he looked at the child through the car window was profound.
“Ah...”
The mother, realizing the meaning behind that gaze, seemed to understand a little.
The reason a father had come to the columbarium alone without his child.
Because she had once been in the same position.
“Is today... the anniversary?”
At the mother's question, Jungwoo shook his head.
“It's tomorrow. But tomorrow is also my daughter's birthday.”
“Ah...”
Perhaps because Jungwoo spoke so calmly, the depth of that emptiness seemed impossible to measure.
“I'll be going now. My daughter is waiting at home.”
“Ah, yes. Please get home safely. Thank you again.”
“Yes, drive safely.”
As she watched Jungwoo's back turn away so casually, the mother saw the weight he carried on those shoulders.
Each went their own way, and Jungwoo, entering the columbarium, headed to the familiar spot as always.
The most secluded corner of the columbarium.
And the very bottom row.
He sat down on the floor to at least match her eye level as much as possible.
Even that felt sorry.
That she couldn't escape from down there even in death.
“I'm here, Seona.”
It had been a long time since he'd called her name.
He felt emotions he never felt when the restaurant's name carried hers.
“Tomorrow's your birthday, right? So I brought a cake I made. Look.”
Jungwoo opened the cake he had brought and set it in front of her.
But his hands suddenly froze.
Was it because of that small incident earlier?
The cake he had carried so carefully had lost its original shape and was completely crushed.
“......”
For a moment, sparkling things began to form in Jungwoo's eyes as well.
He lifted his head and gazed at the sky for a while. Once he had calmed down a little, he lowered his head again.
The ruined cake.
It had been impressive enough that the owner had praised it, but now it just looked like bread slathered messily with cream.
“...I'm sorry.”
For not being able to bring even one proper cake.
For not being able to bring Seia, whom she must miss more than anyone.
For only being able to watch back then.
Everything he had been holding back came flooding out.
It wasn't something that could be suppressed just by forcing it down.
As always, he simply endured it.
“Seona. Seia... is growing up so well. See this cake? Ah, it wasn't like this originally. It must have gotten ruined on the way. The baker said it turned out really well too. Next time I'll bring a proper one.”
He cut out the least damaged part and placed it right in front of her.
“There's also a cake Seia made herself, but I deliberately didn't bring it. Since tomorrow is your birthday and Seia's too, let's eat it together then. Okay?”
After speaking, Jungwoo found his smile again.
Whenever he finished talking, he always added “Okay?”—just like when he spoke to Seia.
It had become a habit.
Everything he did with Seia.
Just like now.
“I brought some photos too. Here, this is one of Seia and me making the cake together, and this is Seia playing games at the arcade...”
The photos didn't end there.
All the pictures Jungwoo had taken one by one on his phone until now.
Every time he came, he would gather all the photos he'd taken during that time and show them to his wife without fail.
Jungwoo placed the photos in the spot closest to his wife.
The place where he always left them.
There were already so many photos piled up.
Seia's growth over the years unfolded like a single panorama.
“Seia has grown so much, hasn't she? She says the food I make is the most delicious. I guess she has the same taste as you. Haha.”
Then Jungwoo took out the last photo he had brought from his pocket.
This was one he had taken and kept beforehand.
It was a full view of Seona's Restaurant.
In the center of the photo, the sign with the words Seona's Restaurant stood out clearly, and below it, the interior of the restaurant could be seen.
“And... I started the restaurant using your name. Seia helps out too. Maybe because she takes after you, she's incredibly smart. It seems she's already got some regular customers.”
Jungwoo smiled as he held up the photo of Seona's Restaurant for her to see.
It felt like he had given her the greatest gift for her birthday.
“Today is a rest day, and we'll start again tomorrow. I've also prepared a small birthday party for Seia tomorrow.”
After that, Jungwoo talked about many things.
The things he wanted to say, the things he needed to say.
Though he came once a year without fail, this time there were especially many things he wanted to tell her, so it took a little longer than usual.
But now it was time to go.
With wistful eyes, Jungwoo gazed at his wife's photo for a moment before murmuring softly.
“I'll change it to a smiling photo. And isn't this spot too low? You know how apartments have royal floors, right? I'll move you there too. And... I'll come again. Often. Okay?”
Jungwoo, who had been unable to take his eyes off the photo for a while, finally rose with hesitant steps.
“Ah, that's right.”
Just as he was about to leave, Jungwoo turned back as if he had forgotten the most important thing.
How could he have forgotten this?
With an expression that looked both apologetic and a little shy, Jungwoo soon broke into a bright smile and said,
“I love you, Seona.”
When he checked after leaving the columbarium, two hours had already passed.
Every time he came, he felt that time here seemed to flow differently.
He didn't think he'd said that many words, yet time had flown by so quickly.
Now it was truly time to go back.
After all, today wasn't the last time. It was a place he could visit whenever he wanted.
As he stepped out of the columbarium, even the air he breathed felt tender.
Perhaps that was why he missed Seia even more.
He had to hurry back.
Taking one last look at the columbarium, Jungwoo climbed straight into a taxi.