The Gentle Weight of Ease
By the time the other customers began eating their bibimbap, Ye-eun had already finished hers. She gazed out the window for a moment.
The only difference from earlier was the position and shape of the clouds. Yet somehow, the feeling she got from looking at that sky had shifted slightly since before she finished her meal.
In a good way.
She felt at ease. Not because her wallet was light, but because her heart was.
Was this what true ease felt like?
Normally, she would have stood up and left right away. When she had nothing particular to do, Ye-eun usually rested at home. Those hours held no meaning, but perhaps that was exactly why they sometimes felt better.
Her gaze, which had been fixed on the window, eventually drifted back toward the kitchen.
The kitchen, now empty of dishes to serve, held a different scene. Jung-woo was cleaning, while Se-ah sat in her usual seat, watching him.
How to describe it? It was the look of someone eager to learn. The kind of gaze that said she would one day do it all herself.
Children were wonderful that way. Their eyes revealed exactly what they were thinking, what they wanted.
And strangely enough, Jung-woo was the same.
She wanted to stay just like this. Being in this restaurant felt like stepping into a deep forest. Breathing in the fresh air from the dense trees seemed to refresh not only her body but her heart as well.
In the middle of a city filled with cold buildings and people, this restaurant stood alone like a solitary island. That was exactly the feeling it gave.
A place she wanted to keep to herself. A place she didn't want to tell anyone about.
‘Still, I should go.’
Customers were meant to leave. They were welcomed when they arrived and seen off when they departed, but that very fact meant they were people who had to go.
She would probably spend another meaningless evening at home, but somehow, today felt like it wouldn't be entirely without meaning.
As she rose from her seat and approached the counter to pay, she noticed Se-ah dozing off in that brief moment.
“Heh…”
Just moments ago her eyes had been sparkling, and now she was already asleep. After a full meal, the afternoon had turned drowsy for Se-ah and everyone else.
Wanting to avoid waking her, Ye-eun tapped the counter table lightly instead of calling for Jung-woo.
Knock, knock.
Jung-woo, who had been tidying and cleaning the kitchen, heard the sound and came over. Seeing Se-ah asleep, he smiled and asked softly,
“Did you enjoy your meal?”
“Yes, it was lovely.”
“Whew, I'm glad. I was worried since I made the menu on the spot.”
“You should keep serving it. Are you not making the pork cutlet anymore?”
“I'd like to sell everything if I could, but then I wouldn't be able to store it properly. The taste goes down after a while.”
In this field at least, Jung-woo knew more than Ye-eun did.
“That's a shame. The pork cutlet was delicious too.”
“Maybe there'll be a day when it comes back?”
“A day when it comes back?”
When she looked at him with puzzled eyes, Jung-woo smiled and answered,
“A day when today's menu, the pork cutlet, is served again.”
“I see. I'm curious what tomorrow's menu will be.”
“Ah, tomorrow is a day off. Haha. So you can come another time.”
“Another time…”
“Se-ah would like that too.”
If someone else had said it, she might have taken it as a sales pitch. But coming from Jung-woo, it didn't feel that way. Especially the part about Se-ah liking it. That lingered in her mind.
Se-ah would like it. Se-ah would.
An indescribable feeling began to rise within her, one she wasn't used to.
“Here.”
The bibimbap cost 7,000 won. A remarkably fair price, considering the care and fresh ingredients that went into it, not to mention the soup that came with it.
Ye-eun paid in cash again today. When Jung-woo received the 10,000-won bill, he couldn't help but look at her with a hint of suspicion, unlike yesterday.
“This bill…”
“You don't want to accept it?”
Jung-woo answered without a moment's hesitation.
“Of course not. I don't have change.”
He had no option in his mind for accepting it. He was a remarkable person.
“It's just an ordinary bill.”
“Whew, that's a relief. Here's 3,000 won.”
Receiving three 1,000-won bills, Ye-eun took one last look at Se-ah before leaving the restaurant.
“Hmm…”
Jung-woo didn't believe everything Ye-eun had said. The brief hesitation when he asked if she'd given the wrong bill. That bill hadn't been a mistake. It was money meant to wish happiness upon Jung-woo and Se-ah. He didn't see it as pity. And she had probably answered that way because she didn't want him to feel pitied.
She was a good person. She just looked cold.
“Anyway, Se-ah fell asleep. What should I do with her?”
He hadn't expected her to doze off while he was cleaning the kitchen. Post-meal drowsiness seemed to spare no age. Even Jung-woo felt a bit lethargic now. It was autumn, after all. In this near-perfect weather, neither too hot nor too cold, the drowsy afternoon carried far more weight than usual.
“I should turn on the TV.”
Se-ah's nap time wasn't entirely welcome for Jung-woo. Of course, just watching her sleep brought him happiness. The quiet Se-ah had a different charm from her bright and lively self. It was only a little sad that he couldn't talk to her or hear her voice.
Naps were essential for Se-ah. She needed a lot of sleep. Even after napping during the day, she would sleep soundly through the night until morning. It was better than not sleeping much at all. Especially when she was younger.
After losing his wife, Jung-woo had raised Se-ah alone. When she cried, he comforted her. When she whined, he comforted her. To Se-ah, Jung-woo was both father and mother. He was everything.
And Jung-woo felt the same. Maybe that was why he didn't want to be apart from her. Still, he knew he should help her build some independence.
‘Well, it's still too early for that.’
She had years until adulthood. Independence could wait.
He could have left her as she was, but seeing her head nodding in her sleep made him uneasy.
‘This should be fine, right…?’
There were no customers earlier, but now there were. He needed their permission first.
“The soft-boiled egg is art.”
“The egg is good, but the seasoning is even better.”
“Both are great, but I think the seaweed soup is the real stroke of genius.”
They were discussing their opinions quite seriously, but every word was praise for the bibimbap. Hearing compliments about how delicious it was never failed to make him happy. The joy from Se-ah's words and the customers' words felt different.
“Excuse me.”
“Ah, yes. Sir.”
“It's just that my daughter fell asleep. I was wondering if it would be all right to lay her down on one side.”
The customers looked as if the question itself was unnecessary. After experiencing the bibimbap, they already knew this place showed special consideration for its guests.
“Oh, it's fine. Right, everyone?”
“Of course.”
“Um, sorry, but…”
One of the customers spoke to Jung-woo with a slightly awkward expression. Was he going to refuse? Even so, having someone lying down during a meal might not look good. Just as that thought crossed his mind,
“How old is she this year?”
“She's five.”
“My friend's daughter is exactly five. She looks about the same age, but there's something mature about her, so I asked.”
Mature. He heard that sometimes. Se-ah had the innocence of her age, yet she was mature. That was a difficult thing to achieve. It meant she was kind and considerate of others, didn't it? She even struggled to help with Jung-woo's work.
“Anyway, I don't mind either. If possible, though, could you put her somewhere visible? Haha. Just looking at her makes me feel warm inside.”
“Haha, yes. Understood. Thank you.”
After getting their permission, Jung-woo walked over to Se-ah's usual seat. She was sound asleep, her small mouth slightly open in a perfect circle. By now, Jung-woo was an expert at lifting her without waking her. Skillfully and gently, he picked her up and laid her on the long bench right beside the restaurant door. Since there was no pillow, he used his own thigh instead.
He should have gained some weight if he'd known this would happen. His firm muscles, built from years of various jobs, probably felt like a hard stone pillow to Se-ah.
It had been a long time since he'd been her pillow like this. They still slept holding each other at night, but spending an afternoon this way was something from long ago.
Stroking Se-ah's hair, Jung-woo spent the drowsy afternoon in contentment.
“…Maybe I should get married…”
The customers watching them slowed down noticeably as they ate their bibimbap. There was nothing particularly special about the scene, yet that was exactly why it felt so special. Ordinary yet happy? Those two words didn't usually coexist, did they?
“Marriage? You don't even have a girlfriend.”
“Hey, that's because I choose not to. It's not that I can't.”
“How many years has it been already? At this rate, you'll die alone.”
“…Let's just stop at the first verse.”
There was no point in continuing the conversation. His friend, who was smiling right now, already had a girlfriend.
“This restaurant is really something. I thought it was ordinary.”
“It is ordinary. And special at the same time.”
“That's the perfect way to put it. An ordinary yet special place.”
Even though their workplace was far away and they wouldn't be able to come often, none of them wanted to cut ties with this restaurant after today. It was a Korean restaurant. That meant there would be a variety of menus.
“I'm done. Let's head out.”
“Yeah, we should.”
“Wait, just one more bite.”
After scraping up the last spoonful, the customers stood up. They wanted to stay longer in this ordinary yet special place, but seeing the child sleeping soundly on her father's leg made them feel it was better to leave quickly. Not because they wanted to avoid disturbing them, but to let them enjoy a quieter, better time.
“Do you have cash?”
“I'm not sure if I do.”
After rummaging through their wallets, they gathered a total of 25,000 won. It was more than the cost of three 7,000-won bibimbap meals, but they were all thinking the same thing without saying it.
“It's not much, but…”
“Yeah, we were happy, weren't we?”
“Sir, we'll leave the money here.”
“Ah, thank you…”
“It's fine. Please stay seated.”
“Right. The little one might wake up.”
“We'll come again next time.”
“Yes, thank you. Take care.”
After the considerate customers left, only Jung-woo and the sleeping Se-ah remained in the restaurant.