The Black Knight Swore to the Blind Saintess
Eve quickly wiped the flustered look from her face.
She made a > shape over her eyes with her fingers and said,
"Ahaha! Ta-da~☆ What do you think, Ian? Does it suit me?"
Yeah. This was the moment.
Before Eve gave up on everything and simply settled into this life — now was the time to begin restoring her to her rightful place as the Princess.
I stood there in silence for a moment, pretending to gather my thoughts.
"Ian?"
Then, with deliberate formality, I sank down onto one knee.
"Your Highness."
Eve tried her best to hide her identity.
"Haha. Oh, does it look that way? It might seem a bit irreverent, but I even dyed it to match the Princess. Ahahahaha. Besides, that woman's a traitor to the Empire anyway."
"Anyone can see you're the true Princess."
"Ian, come on. You jest."
"The timing of your visits to our shop. Your inability to use mana. A beauty so dazzling it stops the heart. Those noble blue eyes and hair that no magical dye could ever imitate. And even your once-small chest."
"..."
"It is an honor to behold the Blue Jewel of the Loreline Empire."
At my words, Eve quietly stared into the mirror.
That's right. This may be my last chance to tell Ian the truth.
"Ian. Wait for me outside for a moment."
Eve closed the bathroom door behind her.
The sound of running water came from inside.
A short while later, Evangeline emerged from her shower.
Her towel-dried body gave off a sweet scent of peaches.
At the door, I stood holding a neatly folded dress and undergarments in both hands, like a faithful butler.
"Your Highness."
Eve let out a long sigh.
"Ian. Are you making fun of me?"
"I would never, Your Highness."
She put on the undergarments and dress I was holding, piece by piece.
"Could you at least speak casually? Hearing you talk like that feels strange."
"As you command."
"Please, just call me Eve. And drop the formal speech too."
"..."
I pretended to hesitate.
Eve looked at me.
"That's an order."
"...Okay."
We sat facing each other at the round table as I poured tea into her cup. Eve was quiet for a while before she finally spoke.
"I was wronged, you know."
"I know."
"You know?"
"Eve can't even use black magic. My guess is you fell into a political trap set from within the palace."
"Well, here's how it happened..."
Eve told me everything she'd been through, holding nothing back.
It was exactly as the novel had written it.
"If you want," I told her, "I could march into the palace right now and bring you their heads."
Eve gave a small, breathless laugh.
"That's sweet of you to say."
I meant it, though.
I'd hated the First Prince and the Empress's guts even in the novel. Why not go together, take their heads, and have Eve demonstrate her ability to use mana? Wouldn't that settle everything?
But Eve's thinking was different.
"Getting back to who I was... would take quite a long preparation, I think."
The First Prince and the Empress had cornered her through meticulous planning.
Waking up in a strange place after eating a cookie. The senior court mage happening to appear at the scene and refusing to believe her innocence. Every witness around her had been bought off — proof that they were all in on it.
So she'd judged that charging in blindly against them was unwise.
What she needed to oppose wasn't simply the First Prince, but an entire faction built around him.
Right. Those were definitely not people to underestimate.
I placed my hand over hers.
"Eve. I'll help you."
She smiled weakly.
"Ian. Just living like this with you already makes me happy."
"..."
"Those aren't easy opponents, you know. What exactly are you planning to do through the Knight Tournament?"
"It's a good opportunity, isn't it?"
"I'm more scared that you might get hurt. Ian, you're strong, I know, but the Empire is full of people just as strong as you. It'll be hard."
I nodded.
"Maybe. But standing by and watching you suffer would be even harder, Eve."
Eve smiled.
She took my hand and led me toward the bed.
We lay down side by side, facing each other, and she gave me a kiss.
"I'm sorry I deceived you, Ian."
I brushed the blue hair from her face.
"Thank you for coming to me, Eve."
"You're not angry? I could have dragged you into danger."
I thought for a moment, then forced an angry expression onto my face.
"Come to think of it, I am suddenly furious. About as furious as three unfinished finishes inside."
"Heyyy♡"
Eve gave my chest a light smack.
I wrapped my arm around her waist.
Nestled in my embrace, the Princess playfully traced my lips with her finger.
"Ian."
"Hmm?"
She opened her mouth carefully.
"Do you have any secrets you're keeping from me? If you tell me now, I'll forgive you."
There it was. An opening!
A limited-edition guaranteed forgiveness voucher? Of course I had to cash it in.
I decided to seize the opportunity.
"Well..."
"You do have something."
"It's really nothing much."
"Mm-hm."
"There's someone I'd like to introduce you to..."
The Red Jewel of the Empire. The Saintess, Emilia Rosebloom.
"Ian."
"Yeah?"
Eve's eyes curved into a dangerously sweet smile.
"If you have another lover besides me... you're dead?"
I looked out the window beside the headboard at the sky.
"Well. It's perfect weather for dying, isn't it."
Eve shot upright and started beating me with a pillow.
"Die! Die! Die! Die!"
I curled up into a ball.
"Agh! Eve, wait! You said you'd forgive me!"
Thankfully, this world wasn't as strictly monogamous as the one I'd lived in my past life, so the situation was only slightly better.
Eve huffed indignantly.
"Who is she? Don't tell me it's that slutty elf?"
I pulled her arm and drew her forcibly into my embrace as I lay there. No matter how she squirmed, she couldn't overpower me.
"Eve. Just hear me out first. You need to know what happened to me before you ever came to our shop."
I told her the story of how Emilia and I had been sailing together when our ship wrecked and we washed ashore on a deserted island.
"Wait, wait, wait. You mean the Saintess? Emilia Rosebloom?"
"Yeah."
"Go on."
Eve's face showed clear interest.
I told her how I'd been 'forced' into a relationship in order to protect Emilia from the 'wicked' tentacle monster, and how I'd gained power through it.
Sorry about that, Bibic.
Since she'd witnessed the power-granting process with her own eyes, Eve was skeptical at first but gradually began to believe the story.
"So that's how it happened."
By the time she'd heard everything, her eyes were glistening with moisture.
She seemed to have been moved by the part where I insisted 'nothing actually happened.'
Sniffling, she said,
"Well. I already decided to forgive you, so... fine."
Eve nestled into my arms.
Something about her expression suggested she'd come around.
Huh? That easily? Why?
A glance into Eve's inner thoughts revealed the reason.
If it's Emilia Rosebloom... just getting close to her could give me the political leverage I need when I return as Princess. Ian really is my lucky charm♥
Evangeline was a terribly practical woman.
A few days later.
The Knight Tournament preliminaries.
Eve, back to her black hair and russet eyes, gave me her final instructions.
"Ian, just do exactly what I taught you. Got it?"
Over the past few days, Eve had taught me the basic swordsmanship and spear techniques she'd learned at the Imperial Palace.
She handed me a spear. The tip was wrapped in what looked like a cloth bundle.
"Eve. Are you still mad at me?"
"Hm? No, not at all. I told you, I've forgiven everything."
She grabbed my cheeks and stretched them out.
"But you want me to fight with this weapon?"
I gestured with a shrug at the bizarre spear Eve had invented teaching herself magic.
She tilted her head, as if nothing about it was strange.
"You have to fight with a blunted weapon anyway. This should do fine. Trust me — the results will be certain. I already got permission to use it."
"Anyway, you promised, right? If I win today, you'll grant me a wish."
"Looking at your opponents, none of them seem like pushovers. It's fine if you lose — just please don't get hurt."
With those words, Eve returned to the spectator stands.
My first opponent was the leader of one of the top three mercenary companies in the capital, the Ash Mercenary Corps.
⊳ Class: Leader of the Ash Mercenary Corps
Wielding a wooden training sword, he took one look at me and burst out laughing.
"Ha! A base peddler of flesh-toys has no place on this stage!"
Jeers echoed from the spectator seats around the dueling arena.
"Booo! Get off the field!"
But there were people in the stands cheering for me, too.
The ones who had witnessed me subduing that orc with holy magic in the back alley. Digo, boss of the Red-Light District, and his men were there as well.
"Don't you dare disrespect Saint Onahole!"
"Dildo King! Dildo King!"
The referee stepped between us and shouted,
"Ready. Begin!"
At the signal, the referee retreated.
In the wide dueling arena, we began circling each other warily, eyes locked.
I unwrapped the cloth bundle tied around the tip of my spear.
In place of a blade, a hideous dildo revealed itself.
The mercenary captain's brow furrowed.
What the actual fuck.
He blinked rapidly, as if he couldn't believe what he'd just seen. When he confirmed that it really was a dildo, his face twisted in disgust.
This bastard. Just how little does he think of me?
In an instant, he closed the distance and charged.
The mercenary captain grinned viciously.
"Did you come here to sell dildos? This is no place for that!"
He seemed certain of victory.
The wooden sword swept in fast from the side.
Shame. I should have tested it with a real blade.
Vajra Body
I offered my neck to the blade instead.
Crack.
The sword snapped clean in half.
I didn't feel a thing.
"Huh?"
In the instant the mercenary captain stared at his broken sword, I swept his back leg and toppled him over.
Even in that split second he twisted his body to keep from falling, but he crashed flat onto the dirt floor all the same.
"Fuck!"
As he cursed and tried to rise, I stamped my foot down on his back.
"Ugh!"
His chest slammed into the ground.
I channeled mana into the spear.
Bzzzzzzz—
Eve. What on earth did you create?
The dildo on the end of the spear began vibrating with a grotesque intensity.
"Surrender, or I'm shoving this dildo up your ass."
I pressed the vibrating dildo right beside his face.
Staring at the horrifically writhing thing, he beat his palm against the dirt.
"Aaagh! I surrender! I surrender!"
The referee came over and called out,
"Victory to Ian Castolini!"
I raised both arms high toward the crowd.
"Waaaaah—!"
"Dildo King! Dildo King!"
I could see Eve clapping, a bright smile on her face.
By this point, I'd slipped halfway into enjoying-it mode myself.
From the next match on, word had apparently gotten around — the moment the vibration kicked in, my opponents forfeited on the spot.
Out of ten matches, I only actually fought three.
The rest were withdrawals by my opponents.
Even in the three I fought, they all screamed surrender before the dildo ever touched them.
That day, I swept the preliminaries and advanced to the round of sixteen.