Raphael's Confession
Like a cry of faith, a gasp escaped from a child on one side of the chapel. The child's mother hastily covered their mouth, but the sanctuary filled with tension, stark against the resounding holy song. Adolf's hand went straight to the hilt of his sword, and the militia members, seeing it, gripped their rifles tighter. Raphael, watching them, spoke to Cheisi with a voice full of resolve.
"…My choices were wrong. Just like this situation with those proxies, and the children at the orphanage. I neglected it all under the excuse of protecting the future. Cheisi."
"High Priest, that wasn't your choice—it was mine..!"
The song cut off abruptly. Cheisi stopped mid-sentence, fearing her voice might leak out, but Raphael whispered softly to her, still wary of their surroundings.
"It was my choice. That's why the Goddess Lildar is punishing me now. Cheisi. From here on, you just need to live as Cheisi, not as vice-priestess."
Before Cheisi could respond, High Priest Raphael stepped toward the podium without hesitation—slowly, but steadily. As he took his place at the front, relief washed over the faces of the congregation. And today, that expression felt especially guilty to him. He glanced subtly toward the proxies at the back of the chapel. Black uniforms. Black mixed with any color was still black. Unlike the pure white robes he wore.
"Before the usual reading of the scriptures today, I have something to say."
The space fell silent the moment he spoke. Even the militia members facing off against dozens of believers in the sanctuary, and the church priests, bowed their heads slightly.
"I stand here for truth and forgiveness." He pressed on without pausing at the murmurs. "This is a place to remember the words of Lildar we've forgotten. First, let us pray for the lost."
Cheisi stepped forward to the altar and took a candle from the small reliquary with trembling hands. Her mind was a whirlwind, but this was a ritual she'd performed hundreds of times for mass—her body moved on habit. She lit it deftly with one hand and placed it carefully on the altar. The flame was small and flickering, yet it burned clearly. Cheisi squeezed her eyes shut and stepped back. No breeze stirred, but it felt like the flame might go out any moment—like everything was rushing toward an end. An overwhelming sense of finality pressed down on her.
"Let us pray in silence for a moment."
Everyone closed their eyes at Raphael's words. Silence stretched long. The horrors beyond the barrier destroyed by the Dists, the city's ethnic strife—even those felt distant in this instant. Bell half-closed her eyes ambiguously, glancing over her shoulder at Adolf's profile. He still stared sharply at the militia members with eyes wide open, positioned slightly ahead as if blocking her path.
At last, Raphael opened the scriptures.
"I will read a passage from the words of Lildar." His voice was low but resonant. "Fear is not humanity's fate. God did not permit fear—He entrusted us with choice. Forgiveness and resistance, anger and peace. All are yours. But remember: choice demands responsibility."
When the reading ended, the air in the sanctuary grew heavier. Raphael lifted his head again.
"As the Goddess Lildar said. Now, I will confess."
Murmurs swelled. Someone coughed softly; one priest looked at Raphael with unease.
"In the name of Lildar, I sought to protect this city. But at some point, that will became a blade. I… grew arrogant in my revelation, believing myself righter than anyone, charging ahead of all."
Raphael gently closed the scriptures. Am I fallen? Yeah, that's it. I just thought it was justice. The arrogance of frail humans. How laughable. He gave a faint, self-mocking smile and continued.
"In that process, I failed to hear Cheisi's voice, the young believers' unease, or God's silence."
At those words, Bell, standing at the back, crossed her arms as if casually, but her hand hovered near her revolver. She thought she understood now. Why he'd hinted there would be mass. Why he'd asked to meet after. He'd anticipated they'd attend for the investigation—and that his speech during mass would stir aftermath. She'd been too simplistic, thinking it was just about Lucia. She and Adolf were witnesses now. Raphael's words were aimed at the Management Bureau—and they were guarantors of the scene.
"God did not give us fear."
His voice echoed again. "God gave us choice and forgiveness. And through my choice, fear came."
Raphael took a breath and said, "Now, I declare the militia's disarmament."
The sanctuary stirred. Militia members whipped their heads around, staring at Raphael in shock; some squeezed their eyes shut.
"Furthermore, any future actions as militia will be seen as contrary to the church's will."
Raphael's declaration cut sharply through the crowd. "And one more confession. I colluded with the military to permit the use of dangerous new drugs on children—and people."
Those words shocked some, felt like betrayal to others. Strangely, no one rebelled immediately. An elderly priest in the front row only gripped his overlapped hands tighter on his knees, without frowning. Young militia exchanged surprised glances but soon bowed their heads again. There was one reason. Raphael wasn't just a symbol of high priest or ruler. From founding the first Lildar Church in the city, he'd been a devout priest in this district. No one objected when he became high priest. He shared food with the unfortunate one by one, was kind to those from beyond the barrier, stepped forward first. When a young priest botched the altar rites by mistake, he never scolded—just laughed it off as his own error. Disarming. Admitting collusion with the military. Amid all those shocking declarations, people didn't withdraw their trust. He didn't wield authority like a flag. He didn't use God's name as a shield. That's why. Even if his words shook them, they believed he was sacrificing himself to escape this dangerous crisis—and it was true.
"I take full responsibility. If needed, I'll submit to the Management Bureau's investigation. And once the priests' opinions gather, I'll step down as high priest immediately."
With the militia disarmed by Raphael's order, they removed hands from rifles and slung them crossed over their backs. Only then did Adolf slowly release his sword.
The mass concluded without further disturbance.
As mass ended, people rose and slowly filed out. Adolf leaned against the wall with Bell, silently watching the militia leave first, then the people with subdued expressions.
Cheisi Brown faced Raphael. As she opened her trembling lips to speak, he spoke first.
"Cheisi. Now only your choice remains. Stay as vice-priestess, or forget it all and live as Cheisi Brown."
Raphael stroked her hair gently, with the kindly face of one toward a child. "You've suffered so much. Thank you for enduring, Cheisi."
Cheisi felt like she'd been punched in the heart. She'd only pushed forward relentlessly. And that had burdened Raphael in the end. She'd brushed off his occasional advice. And now—you've suffered, thank you for enduring.
"I'll withdraw first."
Cheisi bit her lip hard. Emotions surged uncontrollably. Despite her age, she felt like bursting into tears, so she turned and stormed out of the chapel, brushing past Adolf and Bell.
Bell and Adolf caught a glimpse of her expression inadvertently and felt awkwardly embarrassed. She looked on the verge of tears.
As they approached the podium, Raphael organized the scriptures and greeted them kindly.
"Thank you for coming. Captain Tiny Bell. And…"
"Lieutenant Adolf Mandel."
Adolf answered promptly.
"Yes. Thank you for coming too, Lieutenant."
Raphael bowed his head. "As you heard… I tested new drugs on children. Without the Management Bureau's permission."
"Luminot?"
At Bell's question, Raphael's eyes widened. "You already knew?"
"No, we didn't. Just speculation. So Luminot circulating on the streets is true."
"Yes. I didn't know at first, but once I learned it was the serum that creates proxies, I permitted it."
Raphael bowed his head like a sinner confessing guilt. To Bell, it was headache-inducing yet oddly bittersweet. He didn't feel like a sinner at all—more like a saint.
Bell shook her head once and said, "Then High Priest Raphael recognized it as Luminot and still experimented on children—and stole it from the Management Bureau."
"Yes, that's the truth."
"…So High Priest Raphael knew Luminot wasn't a new drug and still experimented on children…"
Adolf murmured lowly, unable to close his mouth. "And diverted it from the Management Bureau."
At that, Raphael closed his eyes briefly, then nodded quietly. "Yes, that's the truth."
A short, precise answer. The air in the room twisted slightly. After a moment's silence, Adolf spoke carefully but firmly.
"…It would have been impossible for the High Priest alone."
His tone was polite, but tension strung tight within. "Someone must have been involved."
He stared straight at Raphael. "Who? Not the entire Management Bureau, right?"
Adolf spoke calmly, but force edged his voice noticeably. Bell looked at him in surprise, and only then did he blink and apologize hastily. "Ah, sorry."
"No."
Bell glanced at Adolf. It was the expression she'd seen when he returned with Kelun last time. He'd seemed fine. Why now? Unable to read his mind, Bell's head grew complicated. But that reaction—hypersensitive to "Management Bureau." She vaguely sensed it too. Was it just professional duty? No, it mixed inexplicable defensiveness. Bell sighed inwardly at herself for worrying about Adolf's thoughts mid-mission and cut them off. Then she slowly opened her mouth to Raphael.
"Lin Kseszbet. You know her, right?"