The Sudden Storm
The storm arrived without warning.
After Jo-hwa and Jo Yul left, Grandfather said he had something to discuss with my parents and stepped out of the hospital room.
I was left all alone in the luxurious, spacious private room.
In that silence, something hammered noisily through my mind.
"Mock exams......"
Ever since I'd heard Jo Yul's words, the thought had been swirling loudly inside my head.
Generally, only a tiny minority of students ever care about mock exams.
But not me.
I'm different.
I've always taken first place. Midterms, finals, performance assessments, mock exams—every single test and evaluation, I never once half-assed any of them.
I couldn't afford to lose first place. I still can't. I never will.
But after meeting her, my life turned paradoxical—joyful yet utterly miserable.
The time I spent with her was fun. Yet the moment any test, evaluation, or exam day approached, I was always second. Ever since meeting Jo-hwa, I hadn't claimed first place even once.
No matter how hard I tried, grinding my blood, flesh, and time into it, I could never take first.
So I was always second.
Eternal second place.
Just thinking about it made my teeth grind.
I was gradually being consumed by eerie emotions—anxiety, rage, envy, jealousy.
Even though Jo-hwa was my lifesaver and best friend.
That's why it was hard. It still is.
Suppressing my emotions has become hard too. What am I supposed to do?
My body was a wreck, but I couldn't betray the expectations of my family, my friends, my classmates.
So no matter what, I must not lose first place!
But, but......!
"Jin, Jo-hwa......!"
Jo-hwa kept flickering before my eyes.
Sometimes as the Jo-hwa who smiled innocently at me.
Sometimes transforming into the Jo-hwa who smiled wickedly.
A friend who seemed to wear two faces.
My most beloved friend, and my most hated friend.
After Yoon Narae's first hospital visit, Jo-hwa had grabbed me and forced me to go again yesterday as well. I'd tried to read her thoughts and dodge in advance, but somehow she'd read mine first and retaliated instead.
I finally understood just how heavy a hospital visit could feel. Standing there while Narae's parents and every relative present introduced me as her lifesaver—the pressure was crushing. So from early morning I'd been seriously plotting how to escape Jo-hwa today. She might not feel the burden because she was Narae's best friend, but I wasn't.
Just as the sun was lifting its face over the horizon, I spotted Jo-hwa entering the classroom, worry and bewilderment written all over her face.
Even more surprising was the person walking beside her: Yoon Narae.
Her color looked better, but she'd already been discharged?
"Narae, is it really okay for you to be out of the hospital already?"
"Yeah. I'm fine."
"Really......?"
"I already told you I'm fine, like, a hundred times. It's a chronic condition, that's all—and you know I take care of myself. The doctor even said it wasn't as bad as last time."
"I still worry, okay? It's heart disease. What if you collapse again like before? That scares me."
"......You're such a stubborn one, Jo-hwa. Thanks for worrying, but I really am fine."
If I hadn't misheard, she'd just said "heart disease."
And that it was chronic?
There are many kinds of heart disease, so I couldn't know exactly which, but one look at Jo-hwa—Narae's closest friend—told me it was serious.
"Are you going for a perfect attendance award or something? Still first place today, huh?"
It was her usual teasing face, yet somehow the intensity was gone; the lively spark she always had when she needled me was missing. She looked like she was pushing herself hard. If even I, who barely knew Yoon Narae, could see it, Jo-hwa's fretting made perfect sense.
Had she forced her way out of the hospital?
For what?
"Good morning—well, maybe not. Are you sure it's okay for you to be discharged already?"
"Heh. You're still the same, aren't you?"
"Same how?"
"That indifference of yours."
"What, you gonna lecture me again?"
"No. Lecture? This time I actually like that indifference of yours. It's... comforting, somehow."
"Are you really okay?"
"I can sit through class, so stop worrying and study hard. And try not to sleep through everything again, Mr. Jo Yul."
Yoon Narae's eyes and mouth were smiling, but it wasn't a real smile.
I couldn't read everything, yet something was visible. Normally Narae was so guarded that even one true feeling was hard to catch. But right now she was different. Her body was weak, so she had no energy left to hide anything else.
Yoon Narae was—
afraid of something, and at the same time craving it.
I just couldn't tell exactly what.
What could possibly frighten the same Yoon Narae who looked ready to trade wicked jokes with the devil himself?
—She kept smiling.
With her eyes.
With her mouth.
As if she were desperately trying to hide something behind that endless smile.
"Do you know how shocked I was when you texted me to walk to school together? Even on the way here I was so nervous I thought my heart would drop out of my chest."
"Yes, yes, I understand, Mother. That's enough lecturing."
"You have no idea how my insides are burning up. Honestly!"
At Jo-hwa's last words Narae only offered a faint smile and returned to her seat, pulled a workbook from her bag, and began studying.
Something about the way Yoon Narae treated Jo-hwa felt a little different......?
I couldn't understand why the sight of her studying looked so frantic.
The way she studied as if something were chasing her—it was exactly like watching my older sister in the past.
So it felt familiar yet unpleasant, repulsive yet anxious, and somehow intimate—all those contradictions at once, for the first time in a long while.
From the moment first period began, my eyes kept drifting to Yoon Narae.
So I ended up observing her whether I wanted to or not.
Even after class ended she never stopped studying. She kept going while answering every single request for help that came her way.
Never stopping a full sprint is never a good idea.
I had no idea how long Yoon Narae had been running at full speed, but my sister had walked the exact same path, and I had watched every step of it from the side. I knew the beginning and the end.
If she kept running like that, she would eventually collapse.
Body and heart both.
Yoon Narae's body was already a wreck. That only made me more worried.
"......Worried......?"
Me......?
About Yoon Narae......?
It was absurd.
Me, worrying about someone else.
That was something that should never happen.
The only reason I was worrying about Yoon Narae was because she overlapped with my sister from the past. And because she was Jo-hwa's friend—that had to be it.
I still couldn't erase the memory of my sister crying alone in the middle of the night, holding her breath so no one would hear. The image was still vivid. It had been that shocking.
Yet now Yoon Narae kept overlapping with that picture of my sister weeping alone in a dark corner. As if another version of myself were screaming that this was Yoon Narae's future.
Digging too deep into someone else's business is never a good idea. For someone who deliberately keeps distance from others, it's more lethal than poison. Just ignore it. Getting involved never ends well, right? Yeah. Better to just sleep.
Having tasted worry for the first time in ages, I forced myself to give Yoon Narae nothing but indifference and drifted off.
Lunchtime after fourth period.
Jo-hwa politely declined the invitation to eat together, and Yoon Narae hurriedly gathered her workbook and pens and headed somewhere, still radiating that same urgency and anxiety. Could Jo-hwa see it too? Of course she could. She knew Yoon Narae better than anyone, had stayed closest to her the longest. That was why she worried even more. Right now, not a single scrap of pretense showed on Jo-hwa's face.
I walked over to her.
"Hey."
"Yeah......"
Her answer had no strength in it.
"Has she always been a study bug?"
"Yeah. Even when I first met her she was already obsessed with studying—almost like an addiction. But lately it's gotten worse. Today especially. That's why I'm worried. What if she collapses again? What if she collapses and there's no one around to help?"
"Yeah, she does look like she's pushing herself too hard."
"Ugh, that's exactly what I'm saying! Everyone around her is worried sick, but she just keeps being stubborn and it's driving me crazy! I want to stick to her side twenty-four hours a day so she doesn't collapse like last time, but I can't, and it feels like my chest is going to explode."
Birds of a feather. You're pretty damn stubborn yourself, you know.
"But what do you mean 'collapse like last time'? Is there a difference from this time?"
"Yeah. Completely different. Back then she was unconscious. That's why she still calls me her lifesaver sometimes. It all goes back to our first meeting."
"?"
What on earth had happened between these two that even I—the monster of indifference who barely cared about anyone—was offering up my attention?
Yoon Narae collapsing out of nowhere.
Yoon Narae with a chronic heart condition.
Yoon Narae whose first meeting with Jo-hwa was extraordinary enough that she still called her a lifesaver.
What came after that?
I was curious—
.
.
.
—and I was worried.
"It was during the first-year middle school training camp. We were climbing the mountain at night and I suddenly couldn't see Narae. When I found her she was unconscious, breathing really roughly. The longer it went on the harder it got for her to breathe, so I gave her CPR until the teachers arrived. I also found her medicine in her pocket. I'm only telling you this, but the truth is—Narae has............ Class 2 Heart Disease. She can live a normal life, but she absolutely can't get severely exhausted."
And yet she'd still thrown herself forward so desperately?
What was driving Yoon Narae all the way to the edge of the cliff?
What—or who?
Right now I had no way of knowing.
"Not exactly an ordinary bond, huh. Just asking out of curiosity......"
"Why'd you stop mid-sentence?"
"......It's nothing."
I'd been about to ask Jo-hwa more about Narae's situation, but something told me I shouldn't cross that line.
Because of my own principles.
I didn't know what her circumstances were, and I didn't assume Jo-hwa knew everything either.
For the sake of my own beliefs, I stopped myself from going any further. Even so, the image kept flickering in front of my eyes.
Was Yoon Narae going to sob alone in the dark until she turned to ash and scattered into the air?
That anxious picture wouldn't leave me alone.
My sister had eventually overcome it. There had been some ugly incidents in between that drove a huge wedge between us, but she never completely shattered.
Yoon Narae was different. She already carried a chronic illness, and her heart was unstable on top of that.
"Hey."
"Huh? What?"
"............"
"If you call someone, say something! You're not mute. What's wrong? Why do you look so serious? Huh?"
"............Never let go of Yoon Narae. No matter what happens. She's a good friend."
"!"
I ignored whatever Jo-hwa was chattering about behind me and floated a thought across the surface of my mind.
Should I ask my sister for advice......?
No. No need to risk closing the distance I'd worked so hard to open. Even if I did nothing, Jo-hwa would handle it somehow. If she struggled, I could just help a little from the side.
To Jo-hwa, Yoon Narae was the friend she cherished and loved more than anyone. That was why the monster named Jin Jo-hwa would protect her oasis no matter what.
Maybe this time Jo-hwa's mask would actually come in handy.