An Unwanted Bond
An unwanted bond.
A gentle season stirred by a soft breeze.
A bustling elementary school.
Graduates beaming with joy, celebrated amid brilliant flowers.
Families and relatives pressing bouquets into their hands and offering congratulations.
And standing alone in the auditorium, without a single flower or word of praise—
—the smaller me.
It was a familiar scene that had long decorated a corner of my memory, yet one I had no desire to revisit. Still, I was trapped inside it. The whole thing felt repulsive, almost nauseating. Screaming inwardly that I wanted out of this landscape even for a single minute, a single second, I quietly turned my back on the school and walked away.
I followed the familiar path until the school gate stood right before me—then I had no choice but to stop.
A voice had called from behind.
“W-wait a second!”
“......”
I halted without a word.
I didn’t turn around. Looking back would only whip my emotions into a frenzy, and I couldn’t guarantee my reason would survive the sight of her.
“Jo Yul. Just wait a moment. There’s something I really need to tell you.”
Ah. No good after all. Merely hearing her voice was enough to set my reason trembling. Afraid the surging feelings would devour what little composure I had left, I cut her off.
“Don’t call my name anymore. Even if you say you have something to tell me, I don’t want to hear it.”
“......”
Silence answered. Perhaps because of that, the storm inside me began to settle.
Since things had come this far, it seemed better to make myself perfectly clear—not only for my sake, but for hers as well. Though, to be completely honest, it was for my sake. I was the victim, after all.
“I don’t want anything more to do with you. So please just disappear from in front of me. I’ll go my own way. You go yours. I have no lingering attachment left to this school or to anything that happened inside it. Goodbye. I hope we never have to see each other again.”
At the end of those cold words came a soft thud of someone collapsing, but I paid it no mind and turned my steps toward the gate.
The instant I passed through—
“............”
—I woke from the dream.
It was a thoroughly irritating, unpleasant dream, one my body itself refused to accept. Of all nights, why did it have to visit me the day before the high school entrance ceremony? I had managed to forget that day completely until now, yet here it was, clawing its way back up.
“......Annoying.”
Because of that foul dream I decided to get some air and, while I was at it, run the errand my sister had asked of me. So I headed for the convenience store near our place.
Only a single crosswalk stood between me and the store, yet it was more than enough to feel the cold. My own fault for stepping out lightly dressed, thinking spring had already arrived. On top of that, even at this hour the road was packed with cars; jaywalking wasn’t an option.
“Ugh. Freezing.”
The moment the light changed I sprinted for the store. A clear little bell jingled as I pushed the door open.
“Welcome.”
The part-timer’s voice and the store’s warmth greeted my shivering body. For a second I simply stood there, savoring the sensation of ice melting out of my limbs, before I remembered why I’d come.
My sister had asked me to buy drinking snacks. A mild nuisance, nothing more. It’s a chore I run all the time, she covers the cost, and I usually pocket a little errand money on top. Still, it never leaves me in a great mood.
I still couldn’t understand it, but ever since she started college my sister had taken to drinking alone at home more and more often. It wasn’t as if she lacked company. She had plenty of close friends, seniors, and juniors who constantly invited her out. Having people to hang around with is nice—for her, anyway. For me it was the opposite. I have no idea who she takes after, but unless the day is truly special she never turns down a drinking invitation. Endless rounds with that many people? Even giving her every benefit of the doubt, that much might be fine. The problem is that cleaning up after a thoroughly drunk older sister always falls to the younger brother. From where I stood, she looked completely hopeless.
“I wish she’d just drink in moderation.”
Leaving that worried mutter behind, I dropped a few of her usual favorites into a basket and paid.
Outside was still chilly enough that I hated leaving, but I stepped out anyway.
I was trudging along against the cold wind when I noticed someone sitting on a bench.
“......What time is it?”
I pulled out my phone and checked.
“12:40 a.m.”
The thought that my sister was probably drifting through dreamland on a soft bed made my insides twist, but I had no time for that now. I had to reach school even a minute, even a second sooner.
“Hah! Hah! Hah!”
I kept running despite the ragged breathing and the screaming protest of my legs. The school wasn’t that far, so why did the distance feel endless?
Today was the high school entrance ceremony. Arrival was supposed to be by nine. The time now was ten. I was already more than an hour late. No amount of running would change that fact, yet I refused to stop. As if the sky itself were mocking my effort, the traffic light right in front of me flipped to red.
“......”
I stood there gasping, empty-headed, when the reason I was late suddenly surfaced.
It had all begun in the small hours of the morning.
As usual, I had given in to my sister’s whim and brought back snacks. Then I shot her a pointed look.
“If I remember right, you were drinking at home just a week ago.”
“Was I? I don’t recall.”
She put on such a clumsy act that anyone could tell she remembered perfectly. I debated what to say, then decided honesty would land better.
“I’m not telling you never to drink. Just do it in moderation. This isn’t nagging—it’s family talking.”
“So that means you’re worried about me? Hmm?”
She sat on the sofa, poking my cheek with her thumb and grinning. Pure provocation. Clearly she planned to force something embarrassing out of me, then coast through the rest of the conversation while I floundered. I wasn’t a little kid anymore; I could see right through her.
“Yeah. I’m worried my one and only sister might end up a corpse after a night of drinking. Happy?”
“You’ve grown up a lot, haven’t you?”
“I’m a high schooler now. You’d better stop assuming I’ll just take it forever.”
I laced the words with a little challenge and pride, but she simply cracked open a beer can as if nothing had happened.
I had no idea then how that small provocation would rewrite the rest of the night.
After a sip she looped an arm around my neck and whispered,
“Then keep your sister company for a while?”
“What are you saying to a minor? Are you out of your mind?”
I glared, but she only kept smiling, and something about it made me uneasy. A faint chill slid down my spine.
“Just sit next to me and talk. If curiosity gets the better of you, you can even drink. I won’t stop you.”
“You know exactly what kind of constitution I have and you still say that. Fine. If that’s all it is, I’ll hang around for a bit.”
“Wow! What wind blew you this way? You’re actually granting your sister’s request. Normally you’d shut me down cold.”
I try to be generous for once and she stares at me like I’m some rare animal. Mildly annoying.
“You don’t like it?”
“No. I like it a lot.”
A bright smile bloomed on her face as she unwrapped her arm and scooted right up beside me. I drove the stake in firmly.
“Only until twelve. It’s ten-thirty now. Absolutely no later.”
“Got it, so stop fretting.”
Hearing her say it that way only made me frett more. Overreacting, maybe?
Two hours later.
“Little broootherrr?”
“......”
Drunk, she clung like a burr and showed no sign of letting go.
Sticky was the only word for it—unpleasant as hell—yet I couldn’t bring myself to shove her off.
“Little broootherrrr?”
“......What.”
“Hehehe. Juuust... today my little brother looks waaay too cute. Hehehe.”
“......”
I had already spent a full hour telling myself to endure.
I had planned to be asleep by midnight because of the entrance ceremony the next day... but my sister had blown that calculation to pieces. The clock was already past one in the morning. Once twelve had come and gone it was no longer “tomorrow.” It was today. Today’s ceremony.
“Haa.”
A deep sigh escaped on its own. The leech of a sister looked up at me with a thoroughly drunken face. Ugh—the reek of alcohol.
“Liiittle brother? Why the big sigh?”
“......”
Worry mixed with the flush on her face; even her slurred voice carried concern.
I wanted to shake off the very person causing the sigh, but I held on to my patience.
Drunk, my sister was the most tiresome type imaginable. Her mood swings only made it worse. So I decided to simply endure. Hang on, wait for an opening, then escape.
“Sister.”
“Hmm?”
I kept my voice as gentle as I could.
“Can’t you stop drinking now?”
“Nooo!”
“......”
Exactly the answer I had expected.
I shelved the escape plan for the moment and resigned myself to staying up all night. Even if I slept now, I would never wake on time; that much needed no calculation.
Then she suddenly thrust a cup toward me.
“Here! It’s water. Drink.”
“Huh? Oh. Thanks.”
I took it without thinking and downed the contents before I had even checked them.
“Ke—kek! Cough cough cough! Cough, cough!”
I had swallowed the whole thing in one go, believing it was water, and now I couldn’t stop coughing. My own fault for spacing out and accepting it blindly.
W-what the hell is this?! This isn’t water!
What I had gulped down was soju, thick with a nauseating alcoholic reek.
The moment the liquor hit my system my face flared hot, then my whole body burned and the world began to spin. Thought itself turned hazy and refused to move properly.
“Si-sister...! What... have you done...?”
“Ehehehe. Sister’s special bomb drink! How is it?”
What are you smiling about like you did something great...!
I tried to get a word out, but my fading consciousness simply snapped.
That was what had happened in the early hours.
A genuine nightmare. Especially the pure, innocent smile on my sister’s face right before I blacked out—it still sent a chill down my spine.
“Ugh!”
The light turned green at the same moment a stab of abdominal pain hit, so I couldn’t run. I walked instead.
My digestive system is so weak I can’t even handle spicy food; alcohol was never going to end well. The pain was different from the kind spicy food brings, yet it was still excruciating.
I had thought I was used to wounds. Apparently that was an illusion. No matter how familiar emotional scars become, physical ones are a completely different story.
“......Just wait till I get home!”
I knew she hadn’t meant any harm, but the fact remained that my sister had wrecked the very first day of my high school life. Over an hour late? Not one minute, not ten—more than sixty. I dreaded what the homeroom teacher would say to a student that late. It wasn’t that I hated corporal punishment or got upset at being scolded. If I had to take it, I was ready to accept it cleanly. Still, I worried that any further physical strain might start to crack my mind as well.
In revenge I had doused myself in a huge amount of the perfume she treasured. The spite still refused to fade. Whatever. First priority was simply getting to school. Holding my stomach with both arms, I stepped through the school gate.