Chapter 4
Chapter 4
The Idea That Being Hurt in Someone Else’s Place Isn’t That Bad
“Hoooh—”
When I came to, I was on horseback, rushing toward the Holy City.
The horse moved forward without hesitation, not lost even in a darkness that had no light at all.
The wound that had pierced my abdomen throbbed, but it had already closed.
“…Are you awake. What is your name?”
I lifted my gaze toward the front. A broad back and a fluttering cloak blocked my view.
From beyond that back, a dignified voice spoke to me.
It was the silver knight who had saved us.
“…I’m Ruvel.”
“Good, Sir Ruvel. It is a relief that you survived. Your injuries were severe, and your Saint must have suffered greatly as well.”
Adela… Adela…!
I turned around, searching for her.
Thankfully, she was right behind me, unconscious, her pale face rising and falling with soft breaths.
“Your Saint seems unharmed as well. That is thanks to you holding on with your life.”
“I didn’t do anything… I was just helpless against that monster…”
“That is because it was not an opponent you could face in the first place. Do you know what that thing was?”
“I’m not sure… Wasn’t it a ‘mire spider’?”
As the horse continued to run through the darkness, I slowly shook my head.
My lowered gaze felt heavy with emotions I had grown used to.
“Do not be disheartened. That creature is called the ‘Lantern of the Night.’”
Lantern of the Night.
Thinking back on those yellow eyes that pierced through the dark abyss, the name made a strange kind of sense.
“Few knights survive after meeting those yellow eyes. You have earned quite the reputation.”
“Reputation… I don’t deserve that.”
“Why do you hunch like that? A knight who cannot trust himself is the first to be swallowed by darkness. The same must have been true for the knight you faced.”
“Cassius…”
“I checked the surroundings after confirming your survival. The temporary outpost was destroyed. And… where that creature withdrew, I found a knight who had become a lost wretch.”
Swallowed by darkness.
Losing the path.
Becoming a lost thing.
It was the first time someone I knew had become like that.
Cassius, who once spoke so endlessly of honor, had turned into that.
I still couldn’t believe it.
“Have you ever faced darkness yourself, Sir Ruvel?”
The knight’s cloak fluttered in the wind, and beneath it, an endless dark seemed to stretch.
“Darkness always speaks to us with pity. It tells us to do what we desire. That it will fill our lack.”
“So that’s… what Cassius wanted?”
“What it appears to be is merely a means. Darkness only looks at the result. You will face it yourself someday.”
Far ahead, lights that pierced the darkness came into view.
Under those lights stood towering walls that refused to let darkness in.
“Here we are. Rest well. And Sir Ruvel, I hope you find your path.”
The silver knight set us down before the Holy City and vanished back into the darkness, once again illuminating it alone.
I carried Adela, still unconscious, and stepped through the eastern gate of the city.
The moment I entered, it felt like a completely different world.
Saintly lanterns lit the streets, and above, the sun was already sinking into the horizon.
“…So it was evening.”
In the darkness, there is no sky to tell time.
You simply wander until days pass without notice.
We made our way toward the Grand Archive to report the mission.
All knights were required to report everything they witnessed upon returning.
Tap, tap.
The sound of our footsteps echoed clearly on the stone path.
I could feel Adela’s warmth on my back, her body limp as she rested there.
“…Cough.”
Adela coughed lightly against my back.
“Are you awake now?”
“Yeah… where is this?”
“The eastern district of Seongdo, on the way to the Grand Archive. We’re back, so we need to report. I’ll take you to your order’s infirmary. Rest there.”
She hesitated for a moment, then pressed her face gently against my back.
“…Okay. Good job, Ruvel. And… thanks for saving me again.”
…Thanks?
If anything, she’s the one who keeps saving me.
This time, we both almost died.
“It wasn’t me who saved you. If that knight hadn’t shown up, we would’ve died.”
“No. If it weren’t for you, we would’ve died even earlier. You’re the one who saved me. So, Ruvel… don’t ever think about pulling out the wedge again.”
Pulling out the wedge.
Then I would just keep living like a parasite clinging to you forever.
Just like before.
Just like I tried to stop.
‘No.’
I bit my lip hard enough that the pain might have reached Adela through the wedge.
I want to be like that knight.
Someone who doesn’t run, doesn’t apologize, someone who can face anything head-on.
I tried to cut it all away because I lacked the courage.
But I don’t want to feel sorry to Adela anymore.
I don’t want to collapse like today ever again.
From now on, I’ll live differently.
With the resolve to pull out the wedge.
Just like that knight said, I’ll find my own path.
By the time I reached the Grand Archive, I had already engraved that resolve deep inside me.
“Take care. See you later, Adela!”
“Yeah. Rest well.”
I set her down near the boundary of the northern district where she could return to her order’s sanctuary.
For a brief moment, the place where she had been resting on my back felt strangely empty.
Then I turned and headed straight into the Grand Archive.
The Grand Archive was exactly what its name suggested, a massive library.
It held all the history and records of Seongdo, gathering every piece of knowledge humanity had accumulated since before the world was swallowed by darkness.
It was here that scribes recorded the sacrifices of knights and saints into text.
The moment I entered the main hall, the scent of damp ink and old books filled my nose.
Stacks of books were piled precariously everywhere, always looking like they might collapse at any moment.
Between them, scribes and archivists moved briskly, each absorbed in their work.
I climbed the spiral staircase that wound up along the shelves and opened the door to the records room.
Inside sat a woman with long brown hair that flowed like silk and glasses that suited her perfectly.
Her small red lips parted.
“You forgot how to knock?”
Her tone was flat and emotionless.
A very fitting voice for her appearance.
“I’ve come to report the recent expedition.”
“Of course. You’ve returned alive again, Sir Ruvel.”
“Again…? Is that supposed to sound comforting?”
“I assure you, it is meant as fact. Now, I am the second archivist of the eastern district Grand Archive, Lavirin. I will record your report. Please speak.”
She adjusted her glasses and picked up her quill.
I told her everything.
The destroyed outpost. Cassius being swallowed by darkness. The Lantern of the Night. The silver knight.
Scratch, scratch. Scratch, scratch.
The steady sound filled the room.
“So… ‘Sir Cassius of House Vanein was taken by the Lantern of the Night and consumed by darkness.’ And ‘Sir Ruvel held him off.’ That is the summary.”
“…Yes. Does it sound unbelievable?”
“No. I believe it all. Your eyes do not lie.”
Her green eyes stared at me through the lens, uncomfortably sharp.
“You’ve changed after surviving this time, Sir Ruvel. Have you decided something?”
“…Is that part of the record?”
“Not really. Should I record it if you want?”
“No…”
“Hm. So the Lantern of the Night appeared that far in.”
It wasn’t supposed to go that far…?
“And the silver knight you met… is likely Sir Roen.”
“Sir Roen? I’ve never seen such a knight in the capital or during any expedition.”
“Do you know every knight in existence?”
Her tone turned faintly teasing as she flicked her quill.
“Sir Roen is a knight who has found his path. He rarely appears in places like this.”
A path…
That knight told me the same thing. That I should find mine.
“A knight who has found his path… what does that even mean?”
“I’m not sure either. But there are a few. Knights who do not lose themselves even without a Saint’s light.”
I finished my report and left the Grand Archive.
On the way back to the barracks, I walked through the center of the street on purpose.
The light from Saintly lanterns was slightly dimmer there.
Normally I would have avoided the shadows, but now I thought I should try walking through them myself.
The barracks near the border of the eastern and southern districts were not exactly safe.
But in a world that had already collapsed, safety itself was strange.
Still, no one bothered attacking knights there. It was livable.
I removed my gear and collapsed onto the bed.
The soft mattress swallowed me whole.
What were those things I saw during the fight with Cassius?
It felt like he had become someone else entirely.
If I had that kind of power… maybe I could protect Adela from suffering.
I waved my hand vaguely in the air and closed my eyes.
I fell asleep almost immediately.
And darkness, for once, felt comfortable.
…
—Thud.
—“I don’t want to die.”
Screams echoed in my sleep.
Was this the price of seeing the memories of the dead?
Caw… caw…
The next morning came with the sound of crows.
When I woke up, a letter had been delivered.
A mission order.
Report immediately to the Saint and your assigned archivist for a new expedition.
Another mission… and I had barely rested.
No.
First, I should go see Adela.
Several hours earlier, in the northern district infirmary
Ruvel carried me here… and then left.
His back felt safe.
Today, Ruvel felt different when he fought Cassius.
He wasn’t always this strong.
What changed?
I touched the places where he had been hurt.
Pierced, cut, crushed…
He must have been so scared.
And yet he still treated me so gently.
That’s just what a Saint is supposed to be… but still.
Being the one who takes the pain…
It doesn’t feel entirely bad.