Chapter 12
Chapter 12
When You’d Rather Bear the Suffering Yourself
“The stench… it stings the nose. Not blood or sweat. It’s the smell of a lost wanderer.”
“…Ah. That might be because I’m using Radices’ weapons.”
Clang—
I lift the sword and shield I had set down beside the chair. The blood-red surface wrapped in tree roots glints as if proof of that day.
“Do you think I don’t know? You’ve barely had time to recover since coming here, yet rumors haven’t stopped spreading.”
“What… kind of rumors?”
“A Second-Rank Knight of the Eastern District who scavenges corpses. A mentally ill man obsessed with dead bodies and their weapons.”
“…That’s me?”
It wasn’t wrong. Every expedition, I sought out the dead and etched their experiences into my mind. From an outsider’s perspective, it probably did look like that.
“Correct. That is the scent you carry. You should rest. Look at me. Knights break eventually. You… feel like you’ll meet that end early. That’s my advice.”
“That… won’t happen. If I become complacent… if I rely on others just to survive, I’ll lose everything.”
I tighten my grip on the empty cup for no reason.
My reflection trembles in the shaking glass.
“Heh… is that so. Then keep wandering like that, and you’ll meet the Holy Remains Retrieval Bureau sooner or later.”
Gideon lets out a breathy laugh.
A tired, hollow sound.
“The Holy Remains Retrieval Bureau…”
“Yeah. People like you who reek of something rotten. Those who chase after Eikon-class remnants. They don’t often come this far into the Eastern District, but do you think you’ll stay here forever?”
He takes another drink.
“I will protect what I want to protect, no matter where I go.”
“…Hic. In the eyes of the Holy Capital’s light, people like you are nothing. Especially those ones… they kill without hesitation.”
“Is the Holy Remains Retrieval Bureau that dangerous?”
“Have you ever seen a knight walking through darkness without a saint? Those people don’t have one. They walk their own path.”
Knights without saints. Walking darkness without light.
Like Roen.
“That’s all I have to say. Live your life how you want. I just hope you don’t end up burned at an execution pyre in the southern district, Second-Rank Knight.”
“That… won’t happen.”
“Hehahaha…! Then drink up! What a fine occasion! Sienna, you want a drink too?”
Gideon offers a cup to Sienna, who stares into empty space. She silently sips and sets it down again.
Laughter fills the tavern once more.
Clinking cups, cheerful voices, occasional sobs.
“U-Um! I, R-Record Keeper Lettie!! I-I will give the toast!!”
Lettie holds a fruit juice cup almost as big as her head, decorated excessively.
She raises it high.
“To those who live—!! And peace for those who have passed—!!”
Clang!!
Glasses collide, filling the room with sound.
Alcohol, huh.
It’s been a while.
I avoided drinking because I thought it would break me if I leaned on it too much.
But maybe it’s fine now.
Gulp, gulp.
…Yeah. Not bad.
“Adele, you’re drunk?”
“Uu.”
“…No?”
“U.”
Adele’s face is flushed, her replies shorter than usual.
Half-lidded eyes. Yeah, she’s definitely drunk.
How much did she even drink?
…Her glass is half empty. I should probably stop her.
Wait. Does she even feel hangovers through me?
If she does… I’ll never drink again.
By the time the moon grew tired and ceded the sky back to the sun, we parted ways.
It was a rare, peaceful, warm day.
“W-What?! Did I hear that correctly?!”
“Yes, you did, Sir Luvel.”
Inside Lettie’s room at the Grand Archive, my voice echoed sharply.
Even Adele beside me flinched in surprise.
“Due to Sir Luvel’s remarkable recent growth, you are to lead the expedition team for the exploration of the ruins of the Second Frontline Outpost in the eastern outskirts.”
“So I, a Second-Rank Knight, am supposed to lead that?”
“To call yourself ‘just a Second-Rank Knight’… currently, you are among the strongest in the Eastern District. Rank isn’t everything.”
It was true I had grown. But only compared to before. Outside, in the darkness, I could still die at any moment.
“And you don’t have a choice. Since when did knights choose their expeditions?”
“…Understood. What’s the team composition?”
“You and Saint Adele’s faction, plus six regular soldiers.”
“…Right.”
So I would be going with six soldiers.
Regular soldiers aren’t knights. They usually accompany Eikon-bearers. Their strength is nowhere near a knight’s.
In other words, they weren’t necessary anymore… at least not for me.
“I-I’m honored!! It’s my first time going beyond the light of the frontier!!”
One soldier clung to me, excited.
Completely unaware of what lay beyond.
“Once you enter the darkness, never leave Adele’s light. Never.”
“I can amplify light, but in that brief moment, danger can come. Remember that.”
I warned them repeatedly.
They trust me. Their lives depend on me.
Clang—
Creeeak…
The gate opened, and we headed toward the Second Frontline Outpost.
Fortunately, the path to the outpost was lit and not too dangerous.
So far, everything was normal.
Until it wasn’t.
The incident occurred at the ruins.
A stone floor stained with dried blood. Collapsed masonry.
A perfectly ordinary ruin.
But we had been deployed because something was there.
Nothing we ever investigated was truly empty.
“Adele, a bit more light.”
“Okay.”
Fwoooosh—
Her light illuminated the ruins completely.
The structure was larger than expected.
A former temple, maybe. A surrounding wall still remained.
“This is incredible…!”
The soldiers scattered excitedly.
Then I noticed it.
A spiral staircase in the center.
And a soldier suddenly ran toward it.
Instinct screamed.
Something was there.
Something hidden beyond the light.
“Wait—!”
Too late.
A shadow moved.
A tentacle-like mass erupted from the darkness.
The soldier was too close. I could save him.
Block it with my shield. Kill it. Simple.
But what if there’s more? What if something else is waiting?
If I act recklessly and something reaches Adele, she’ll suffer.
I can’t allow even a scratch.
A thought surfaced.
Let him die. Use Memento Mori. Extract the memory. No risk to Adele.
Horrible. Efficient.
When did I start thinking like this?
Before I could decide—
Squelch.
The tentacle pierced the soldier’s body.
Blood sprayed across the stone.
“Gaaah!! Aaaagh!!”
He crawled, screaming in agony.
Ripped organs. Shattered body. No saint’s protection.
And then a thought formed.
Wouldn’t it be better if I took the pain instead of Adele?
The answer came quickly.
Yes.
Letting a nameless soldier die is better than Adele suffering.
And then—
I felt disgust.
He was dying in front of me. I could have saved him.
But I chose not to.
I chose what mattered to me.
“Ugh… urgh…!”
I vomited.