I Don't Know What to Do – A Year Has Passed

I don't know what to do. A year had passed.

A year—short in some ways, yet long enough for a person to change profoundly. The main building of Ail University, renowned for producing top talents, was vast and impeccably clean. In its lecture hall corridor, students of both genders found their gazes drawn, one by one, to a girl walking by.

"Ah, Shasha. I'm heading out of the main building now. Yeah, got it. See you later. Bye."

Her voice on the phone was clear and bright. She wore a white knit sweater paired with a beige checkered skirt. Soft auburn waves cascaded down to her waist. Her amethyst eyes had a cat-like sharpness, but they carried a puppyish charm too. She seemed aloof, yet it was an endearing aloofness, and her delicate features radiated a pure innocence. She was a bit short, but it hardly mattered. Her skin was strikingly fair, her limbs slender and fragile-looking, yet her expression held a bold confidence ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠that commanded respect. You couldn't underestimate her.

This is... college?

A few male freshmen, gathered for orientation, couldn't tear their eyes away. The senior guiding them smirked knowingly.

"That's our liberal arts goddess. Bianca Shama. She's already got a boyfriend."

Only then did the dazed boys snap out of it. Even her name was pretty. A celebrity? An idol? But taken. Well, of course. A girl that beautiful would naturally have a boyfriend.

What kind of guy lands a girlfriend like that...?

They all sighed in unison.

Meanwhile, Bianca was fully aware of the stares she drew just by walking down the hall—especially from the guys.

...Their eyes are gonna pop out.

She'd experienced it firsthand over the past year.

Men, honestly...

Bianca clicked her tongue, then let out a hollow chuckle. She'd once been a guy herself. But now, these thoughts came unbidden. She knew from a guy's perspective that spotting a pretty girl could make anyone lose it.

But it's kinda rude, isn't it...?

Did they even realize she could feel their stares? It didn't bother her much, but it was a little overwhelming. Even if she was cute.

Is this too self-centered...?

But that was reality. Still, she cleared her throat and reflected a bit. Her confidence had skyrocketed over the past year. She'd lost some baby fat, grown a tad taller—nearly 160cm now. And her chest felt just a smidge fuller, boosting her self-assurance even more. She could hardly imagine her past male self anymore.

Last time, I said something weird to Carlyle...

Thinking back made her cheeks flush even now. It was about a month ago.

Lying in bed with him, basking in the afterglow, Bianca hesitated before speaking up.

"Hey, Carlyle. Lately, I dunno... um, hmm... have they gotten a little bigger?"

She wanted confirmation from him. He looked puzzled, then burst out laughing. As if he didn't know she meant her breasts.

"W-Why are you laughing?!"

"Hm, have they? They were kinda small before, but maybe it's from all my... handling."

"......"

Bianca felt offended in that instant. She'd mustered the courage through her embarrassment, so how could she not?

They were small before...?

She balled her small fists and pounded his chest.

"Die, you jerk...!"

Of course, Carlyle spent ages coaxing her, insisting it was a joke, and her mood softened. Before she knew it, she was back in his arms, moaning softly again.

Recalling that, Bianca's face heated up.

These days, in every way...

Bianca Shama was a woman. Utterly, completely. She knew she was plenty attractive to the opposite sex. She'd felt the guys' stares ever since starting college.

"Got time this weekend...?"

"Could I get your number?"

Was it the thrill of youth, or adulthood? St. Antiope Academy had felt different from this university vibe. Of course, Bianca had never welcomed or entertained such approaches—not once.

For one simple reason.

Carlyle's the only one for me.

No one else would do. As embarrassing as it was to admit, she loved Carlyle Schultz with all her heart. Beyond mere liking—it was love, and she had acknowledged it long ago. She couldn't imagine life without him. She missed him terribly right now, uncontrollably so. She loved him more than anyone.

And yet, she was pretty popular with guys.

This charming girl likes you...

Yeah, but.

"Haa—"

Bianca let out a deep sigh. There was a recent problem. She and Carlyle had unintentionally entered a cold war.

Near the university, at a café. Bianca met up with two friends after a while. One was, of course, Shasha.

"Ah, Bianca! Over here, here—!"

Her brown-haired, ruby-eyed friend had a squirrel-like energy, always lively and sociable. Fitting her personality, she was in theater and film.

The other was also very familiar to Bianca. A silver-haired girl giggling softly. Even brushing back her hair felt elegant, like a lady—and as a college student, Emily Swan had blossomed even more like a flower.

It had been ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠nearly a year, right? She'd reconciled with Emily at graduation. They hadn't really fought, but things had gotten awkward amid the entanglements. Emily had asked for a little time.

Bianca figured it was for Emily to sort out her feelings.

Still, Emily did like Carlyle...

And at graduation.

After photos, chatting with Shasha, Emily approached slowly.

"Bianca, Shasha. Congrats on graduating, for real."

She hesitated, took a deep breath, then said,

"It's... a bit late, but... could you check your phones?"

"Ah... uh, sure!"

"W-Wait a sec!"

As they opened their phones together, a message popped up. A new group chat with all three.

Startled, Bianca looked up to see Emily biting her lip, looking sheepish.

"It's shameless, but..."

Instead of answering, Bianca hugged her. Shasha did too.

"Of course we are—!"

Just like that. It took time, but it resolved simply enough. That's why this meetup felt natural.

Entering the café, Bianca's lingering gloom lifted a bit at the sight of her close friends.

"Didn't keep you waiting too long, did I?"

"Nah, not really. Just ordered coffee."

"Still, that was close. Her Majesty shows up last, as expected."

Bianca made a sorry face at Shasha's teasing, but pouted too.

"Queen again? Come on, Shasha. How long you gonna tease? We're college students now."

"It's fine. My boyfriend loves me like this."

Shasha had finally gotten her long-dreamed boyfriend after starting college.

"A hundred days now?"

"Yeah, last weekend."

"No wonder you've been glowing. Aww, seriously..."

"Leaving me single here..."

"Ah..."

"Eek—"

Bianca and Shasha froze at the sudden voice. Knowing Emily's past crush, they couldn't help it on this topic.

"Kidding. Why so serious?"

Emily giggled.

"Guys are plentiful anyway..."

Her refreshing smile showed no lingering regrets. Then she stretched with an "Ahh—" sound.

"No time or interest right now. Next semester's student teaching starts. Pretty busy lately."

Emily had gone to teachers' college. Her family's education background fit her kind nature perfectly.

"Well, still. I can hear your love troubles, right?"

"E-Emily... no, how?"

"So, what's the issue? Your boyfriend slacking?"

Curious expression. She'd suggested meeting but not the reason, so Bianca flustered.

"Why the innocent reaction?"

Shasha shook her head beside her.

"You've been moping hard lately."

"It's been a bit. Bianca, your face is total puppy-dog sad right now. Probably not major worries."

Bianca nodded at Emily's words.

"Haa, yeah..."

First year was almost over; time to pick a major. Her university decided in sophomore year, except some departments.

"Majoring in cooking?"

"Yeah, decided."

Studying cooking videos for Carlyle had sparked real interest.

"Actually loved it since way back... thinking of going that route."

"Suits you perfectly!"

"Yeah, Bianca. You're great at ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠it; you'll crush it."

No career worries, then. It was purely her relationship with Carlyle. They'd been in this unintended cold war; she was hurting but kept pushing him away. Not pride. Something else.

"So, um."

After hesitating, Bianca sighed deeply and spilled her recent worry.

"...Carlyle's going abroad."

"What?"

"Huh?!"

Leaving her behind, for nearly a year. Strictly speaking, not abandoning her. But that's how it felt.

"What do I do...?"

She knew it was childish. But still.

Did he have to go? Be apart? Just imagining it made her dizzy; no answers, so she covered her face.

"That's... all?"

"Thought you two fought... not even that."

Emily and Shasha looked dubious, so Bianca shot back.

"We fought... big time. Haven't seen him lately, took calls but I didn't say a word..."

Wait, fought but takes calls? Suspicious.

"Just to check: when you don't say a word on calls, does Carlyle do the same to you?"

Spot on. Bianca went speechless. She was the one unilaterally silent.

"You're just sulking."

Quick conclusion. Emily chimed in.

"Yeah, sulking."

Under their tag-team, Bianca floundered, then went full pout.

"So, what do I do...?"

Couldn't follow, couldn't just accept it. Knew it was immature. But with her closest friends, she got honest.

Recapping her feelings.

...I don't know what to do.

Starting days, ending them. She could manage alone—had before Carlyle. But unimaginable now.

She needed Carlyle Schultz. Too accustomed, too dependent. Couldn't picture life without him. His gentle voice, his oddly good scent, his broad warm embrace—remembering nightly might depress her. Selfish, sure. But she resented his resolve to leave.

So, with a teary pout, she told her friends.

"Without Carlyle... I really don't know what to do..."

Her honest heart. Eyes welling up, Shasha and Emily exchanged awkward glances.

Total lovebird alert!

You too, Shasha...?

Not that bad...

Eyeing each other, they comforted their sulky friend.

"Just tell him straight."

"Or go full aegyo."

"...Think that'll work?"

She doubted. No sign he'd budge; not even a real issue to fight over.

What should I really do...?

Bianca saw darkness ahead.

Ail University's science building. White-coated students chattered noisily as they exited. Afternoon research done.

"Finally over!"

"Thought I'd die of exhaustion."

"Coffee time."

Magic engineering—the cutting-edge science turning impossibles real. Ail's top department drew the best, but one youth especially caught eyes. Black hair, golden eyes, tall and handsome. His lab coat badge read Carlyle Schultz.

His sharp, cool, intellectual looks thrilled watching girls.

"Carlyle, where to?"

He paused outside, then turned back—not for nothing.

"Go ahead. Got a question for the prof."

"Get your coffee?"

"Nah, I'll handle it."

"That guy's..."

Classmates eyed departing Carlyle with envy. Total cheat code. Looks aside—guys admitted it. Smart as hell: scholarship to top uni's core major, top of class.

"Girlfriend's cute too..."

"Ah, Bianca...?"

Power couple fame spread. In male-heavy dept, talk soured the mood.

"He's a mutant."

"Saw his bento last time...?"

Busy researcher guy, girlfriend brings lunch. Opinion flipped.

"Guys hitting cafés? Lame."

"Nearby bar."

"Carlyle?"

"He holes up in prof's office forever. Text him."

Spot on. Two hours later, post-Q&A, Carlyle stood.

"I'll head out."

"Good work listening."

"No, thank you for your time, Professor."

"Hardworking—love it."

The elderly prof patted his shoulder proudly.

"Heard you're interning abroad post-semester on scholarship?"

"Yes, Professor. Seems so."

"Tough it out ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠a year. It'll boost your future."

Carlyle bowed out. Sunset now. No time for drinks—dinner plans. His mind wasn't settled lately. Mostly Bianca. He didn't want to leave his lovely girlfriend.

Not just any abroad stint. His magic engineering—latest tech. Internship at a top overseas corp in the field.

Do I have to go...?

Carlyle knew the dilemma was pointless. But his heart was troubled—all because of Bianca Shama. Even decided matters shook because of her. First time he'd realized that.

"Hoo—"

A deep sigh escaped.

She had reason to be upset. How to comfort Bianca, reassure her—he'd pondered. Adult with clear views and dreams. Loved cooking, needed this school. Couldn't follow.

Obvious. Unrealistic for her to quit dreams for his abroad. Vice versa too. Wanted to stay together, but couldn't pass this chance—for their shared future.

I have to take responsibility.

Promised her. Build a home, protect it and her. She'd be his lifelong charge; needed skills for that. Spoil her rotten, no hardships. Happier than any other woman.

Just once. Their only forced parting—now. Curriculum included abroad; his top scores advanced it for early grad.

Ongoing cold war hurt him too. Understood her hurt, resentment. So for the coming separation, he'd prepped two gifts to soothe and assure her. One: key documents. The other—

"Waited over ten days, right?"

The clerk smiled brightly at him.

"From afar. Your girlfriend'll love it."

"Hope so."

Carlyle nodded. Bianca had mentioned it once; he recalled.

"Carlyle, look at this. So cute, right...?"

She showed her phone, amethyst eyes sparkling. Hiding she was cuter, he replied.

"Liked dogs before?"

"Kinda...? Never raised one, but wanna someday..."

That video's breed. Exact match. Docile, cute, chubby.

Carlyle lifted the pup by the scruff one-handed, intrigued.

Looks like a runt...

Papers proved pedigree, price justified. Suspicious.

"Kiiing— whiii—"

"Ah! Careful—don't grab like that!"

Scolded anyway. Preparations complete—took days. Now, time to cheer his girlfriend.

Would it work?

No, even if not... settle it tonight.

Carlyle itched to go. Days of her sulk, no meets. Craving her soft body—he was going mad.

If these fail too...

He'd kneel, beg profusely. Only thought: how to appease sulky Bianca Shama.