I'm Fine... Really
I'm fine. In the pitch-black forest, the highlight of the school trip—the courage test—continues. It's usually an event where pairs form, a perfect chance to get closer to someone you like.
Alright, let's do this. That's why Emily Swan mustered her courage too. It felt a bit sneaky, a little prick to her conscience, but in the end, she'd chosen her own heart over her friend Bianca.
How long had she just watched Carlyle, her childhood friend? Strictly speaking, their bond as childhood friends was pretty ambiguous anyway. Carlyle had left the orphanage years ago, carving out his own path. Maybe that's when things had grown awkward between them. Still, there had been that brief connection in their early years. And from then on, Emily had kept liking him.
This hard-won opportunity, leveraging that old tie. Carlyle Schultz knew full well how much courage it had taken Emily to do this—just once, look at her properly.
That's why he'd stayed quiet even when he couldn't pair with Bianca Shama. Now that he liked Bianca too, he understood her feelings completely.
His childhood friend—a girl who didn't fall short in any way. Carlyle had noticed Emily Swan's rational affection toward him. But as for his own feelings—
Yeah, definitely. He thought of his childhood friend Emily as a good girl. Kind personality, gentle, even feminine. In a word, the type guys would like.
But at the same time, that was all he felt. Honestly, Carlyle couldn't even guess why Emily liked him. Just like all those other girls who'd crushed on him before—what was it about him that made her do this? Maybe he was the twisted one.
Bianca, the one he liked, and Emily Swan beside him. He couldn't pinpoint any clear difference between them, even after thinking it over.
One thing was certain: he didn't feel that spark for Emily Swan, his childhood friend from way back. These romantic matters needed to be clear-cut.
So Carlyle said it indirectly to Emily. He turned back briefly, met her eyes, and gave a faint smile.
"We're friends, right?"
That single line from her childhood friend Carlyle left Emily flustered in an instant.
"Uh, yeah...?"
It made her newfound courage feel pointless. She felt like a fool hearing those words.
"I think of you as a good friend, Emily."
Carlyle ignored her flustered reaction and kept walking forward. He'd nailed it down: friends.
Emily, her face blank as she froze, barely managed a reply.
"Y-yeah...?"
She hurried to catch up with quick steps as the distance had grown. Even in this situation—even after that roundabout rejection—she lacked the courage to push her feelings further.
...I'm such an idiot.
Emily bit her lip. Saying anything more wouldn't work; her courage had fizzled out.
So, with an awkward puh-hee laugh, she blurted it out.
"Not just friends. We're childhood friends, right...?"
Like a coward. Still emphasizing that special bond.
In the end, Emily backed down once more.
"Yeah, that's right. Not just regular friends."
At Carlyle Schultz's response, she felt relief. Satisfied with that nominal position as childhood friends.
She thought herself a fool, an idiot, but couldn't say more. Emily wasn't usually the timid type anyway.
As they walked together, ghosts popped up several times, but her sunken heart had no energy left to react.
"This way, right?"
"Found the hidden item?"
"Yeah, think it's this."
They just huddled heads together to complete the mission, exchanging awkward small talk because silence felt weird.
"It's fake anyway, but kinda fun, huh?"
Her forced cheer got a response from Carlyle, thankfully.
"Yeah, surprisingly."
"This is what makes school trips fun."
And so, Emily and Carlyle finished the courage test in that somewhat awkward atmosphere.
"Still haven't found it?!"
"No, how did this..."
What had happened? By the time Emily and Carlyle arrived, the assembly point was total chaos. Adults with flashlights running around. The dark forest edge lit up.
"What...?"
"Dunno."
Wondering what was up, Emily and Carlyle exchanged glances.
"Some accident?"
There were multiple paths for the test, after all. If it was another group's path...
"Hey, you two...!"
Then Shasha came rushing toward them, out of breath. Not normal at all. Her face desperate, almost teary. Worried sick, in a word.
"What's wrong, Shasha...?"
Emily startled and spoke first, but an unexpected name came out.
"B-Bianca...!"
At that name, Carlyle Schultz's face hardened completely. A bad feeling brewing.
"Bianca? What happened?"
Shasha answered Carlyle, who pressed her, her voice choked with sobs.
"She went missing on the mountain..."
"What? How..."
"Rolled down a slope or something..."
Emily's face went pale too.
"B-Bianca...?!"
She couldn't help but be shocked. Flustered.
Emily covered her mouth, at a loss.
The students gathered on the gravel murmured. The accident news had everyone in disarray.
"C-Carlyle-!"
Emily cried out. Her panicked voice drew eyes.
Grabbing a flashlight.
"Hey, student-!"
"Where are you going?!"
Ignoring the reactions around him, Carlyle ran. Spotting Lou, the frantic pink-haired junior close to Bianca Shama, among the teachers.
"We have to find her quick...!"
"Calm down first. You got hurt searching too..."
"But Senior...!"
No time to hesitate overhearing that. What the hell happened?
He wanted to grab the junior by the collar, but no time.
His jaw clenched.
Damn, what...
Fists tightened too.
Why did this happen right when he looked away for a moment?
Missing on the mountain...
When he first heard it, Carlyle instinctively looked up at the sky. Dark enough to curse.
Rolled down a slope...?
Then safety wasn't guaranteed. An unfamiliar emotion swallowed him.
......
Dizzy. Like tossed alone into a vast ocean.
Heart sank, ears ringing. Reality blurring.
By the time he snapped out, he was already running with a flashlight.
"Hey, student-!"
"Where are you going?!"
The shouts behind didn't register.
No... Bianca...
His mind just pushed away worst-case scenarios.
The mountain at night was dark. Dangerously so. Late autumn—freezing cold too.
Imagining that scared girl alone, badly hurt, shivering...
Carlyle saw nothing ahead. Had to find her. No matter what, absolutely!
Couldn't just trust others and wait.
He gritted his teeth and ran. If he couldn't find her, he'd never forgive himself.
Curled up tight, arms protecting her head.
Bianca had rolled tumble after tumble but, mercifully, wasn't badly hurt.
Autumn mountain—plenty of soft fallen leaves acting as cushions. Lucky she hadn't snagged on jagged rocks or branches.
That was probably insane too...
Bianca lay dazed, staring blankly at the sky for a while. Usually timid, but the situation hadn't sunk in enough to freak out in the dark woods.
How did this happen...?
She couldn't say. Could only trust her junior Lou for now. Everyone must be searching by now.
"H-heek...!"
Bianca was scaredy-cat. Once her wits returned, chills hit.
Swish—
Sudden sound—she squeezed her eyes shut. Long after.
Peeked open slightly.
N-nothing there, right?
Overreacting? Just leaves rustling? Yeah, definitely leaves.
"Phew—"
Only then did she sigh in relief. But still, undeniably scary.
That fear grew: couldn't lie here forever.
"Ah... ouch..."
Body ached all over. But luckily, no major injuries.
For rolling like that...
Sheer luck. How'd she tumble so far unscathed?
...Lucky, really.
Bianca let out a wry chuckle at her absurdity.
"What am I doing...?"
Ridiculous. Couldn't understand herself.
Why'd she cause this accident? Annoying everyone so childishly.
Bianca had no clue.
...Everyone must be worried.
How'd it come to this? Why so out of it today? Why, why. So stupidly.
Too idiotic to comprehend.
Why on earth...
Actually, maybe deep down, she knew the reason.
She cupped her face, then yelled to signal her position and vent her frustration.
"Aaah—! Kyaaah!"
Perfectly natural now. Her scream hit soprano effortlessly.
Even that amused her.
"Totally a girl now..."
But had to move. Too dark, body shivering.
The isolation creeping scarier.
So Bianca moved—slowly, trembling, fists clenched tight.
"Th-there—!"
"...Anyone there?"
Skin crawling. Eyes darting uneasily.
The night forest was terrifying beyond imagination.
"Wh-who..."
Bianca clamped her mouth shut.
Really no one. A joke? This?
How far did I roll...? Where even am I...
No joke—real. Bianca Shama was super timid usually.
Childhood trauma from her brother pranking her. So scared she barely slept alone for a year.
Sigh, scaredy-cat.
Couldn't even deny his teasing. Pure-hearted, vivid imagination.
Grown up, she still believed in ghosts. This situation wasn't her choice.
Plop—drip—
Worse: thought it imagination. Felt a drop on her nose—but no.
Wait, no way...
Looked up: fat drops falling. Dark sky raining lightly.
Sudden rain...
Near worst-case. Bianca panicked a bit, but autumn weather was fickle.
Sudden rain without warning? Not weird.
But here? Absolute nightmare.
Cold, hungry, a bit scared. Now rain too.
Bianca stood frozen in the dark rainy woods.
For some reason—upset—she punched her chest lightly.
Ah, why.
...Why can't anything go right?
Everyone enjoying the trip. Her alone here doing what?
What a pathetic sight.
Her hair and shoulders soaked now. Damp rain worsening the mood.
...
From all these tangled reasons.
Again, why. Tears welling up—Bianca didn't know.
Since becoming a girl, this had happened a few times.
She clenched tiny fists, muttering to herself.
"...No, I'm fine."
Said it aloud.
I'm really fine.
This situation, today's events—nothing major really.
Just an off day, all around.
Forcing that suggestion, Bianca trudged on stubbornly.
Stopping meant tears for real.
Her optimism, refusal to quit—her strengths.
Back with everyone: Emily, junior Lou, partner Shasha.
All genuinely worried for her.
So when I see them again...
She'd smile big, she thought.
Today she'd been so unlike herself.
Getting isolated? No big deal. Courage test boring? Actually fun. Say that.
Yeah, like that.
Bianca kept thinking, walking the dark path. Distractions eased the fear.
"Anyone here...!"
Kept moving, yelling occasionally.
And Carlyle. Thinking of him suddenly tightened her chest.
Like something surging up.
Paired with Emily, huh...?
Yeah, must've been great. Fun time.
But didn't want to imagine it.
Chest stuffier—what face to make seeing him? Didn't know.
Why, why?
Bianca kept questioning herself.
He'd done nothing wrong. So why awkward seeing him?
Or was it awkward? Or scary? Not sure.
If scary, why?
Shhh—
Rain intensified; Bianca soaked through.
"Ha... seriously..."
Cold, exhausted. Confused heart.
Dark everywhere, body weak, alone—pitiful.
Bianca bowed her head.
This is all...
Because she became a girl. Why after changing.
Heart needlessly hard. Confusing, unsettled.
Unclear reasons made it worse.
Tears welled.
Drip—drip—
Suddenly, without reason. Flowing.
Amid pouring rain, Bianca sank to the ground.
I'm fine.
Actually not. Why so hard?
Her ankle throbbed too—reaching limit.
"Ah, really..."
Wiped tears with hand, but soaked body sticky, gross.
Now, nothing. Didn't want to think.
How long sat like that?
Hallucination? Faint light shone on her bowed head.
But Bianca didn't want to look up. Exhausted, heart too heavy.
Maybe better if...
Childish thought. If the light passed by, fine. Just hide forever.
As she curled tighter, footsteps approached.
Go away, please...
Searcher? Or—
A face flashed. Bianca wanted to tear her hair.
No way it'd be him...!
Mocked herself. Even now!
His face popping up—worst timing.
Why him!
Why that guy...!
Absolute worst.
While her mind raced, the steps reached right in front.
Bianca, unaware, suddenly enveloped in an embrace—her eyes widening.