A Bathroom Where I Can Finally Poop in Peace

At last, I had a toilet where I could relieve myself without a worry in the world.

Right after the fall of civilization, back when hope still lingered, I did some volunteer work at a shelter.

Someone I knew was in the medical field, and I got roped into assisting with surgeries.

At first it was nothing but simple errands. But as the wounded kept pouring in, I found myself taking on more and more.

Eventually it got to the point where I was stitching up patients' wounds all by myself… and let me tell you, it was a disaster.

Even so, not a single person complained. They'd tell me I was working hard and slip me snacks.

It didn't last long. The moment the anesthetics ran out, the shelter turned into a hell of screams.

Still, compared to now, those were the good old days. Honestly, I was happier then.

Of course, that was before the Status Window appeared. Now is better.

Snip—

I tied off the last knot and cut the thread.

"Mmmph… uuummph!"

The guy was obediently biting down on the handkerchief exactly as instructed. If only the shelter folk had been like this.

"All done. You did great."

I wiped the blood off my hands.

Only then did Yu Hyeon spit out the handkerchief from his mouth.

The siblings' loyalty had both climbed past 20.

With the loyalty boost, [Appraise] now revealed more information than before. Nothing particularly useful, mind you.

What exactly was I supposed to do with knowledge of the siblings' dessert preferences?

Still, their expressions did seem calmer than before. Could just be my imagination.

Yu Hyeon clutched at me desperately.

"Thank you. This debt of gratitude…"

"Yeah, you can repay it with your body, slowly, over time. For now, get some rest."

By body, of course, I meant hard work. I was not asking to see his back.

I tidied up the room a bit and tucked Yu Hyeon into bed.

His sister sat glued to his side, unable to stop worrying about him.

Big brother might get to rest, but little sister's ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠workday wasn't over.

I grabbed the back of her neck and hauled her out into the corridor.

"Let's go."

Time to work, big eater.

Scrub scrub scrub—

"Aaaagh! The mold won't come off!"

"No, no — don't just jam the brush into it like a caveman. Tilt it at an angle. See? Comes right off."

There we were, rubber gloves on, attacking the inn's hallway with scrub brushes.

She started coughing.

"Ugh, this stuff's toxic. Don't we have masks?"

"Where would I have gotten those?"

Nobody's hunting down face masks over a little bleach smell.

Granted, the inn was filthy enough that the fumes were pretty brutal, but in this world, such things were a luxury.

She plugged her nose with one hand and gave the floor the world's laziest little dabs.

God, watching her was infuriating.

If I remembered right, her passive clearly included [Work Efficiency +30%].

If this was the result with a 30% buff, how hopeless was she at cleaning on a normal day?

Several hours later.

In a corner of the hallway, piles of stripped moldy wallpaper and yellowed floor linoleum had accumulated.

This wasn't garbage. Every last scrap of it was a bundle of points.

Under the system, all waste could be converted into points.

Part of me wanted to bulldoze the entire rooms in one go, but the system only registered an item for conversion if you peeled it off piece by piece and collected it.

What a stingy-ass system.

To be fair, the points from disposal weren't much, but free was free. That was the important part.

The labor of stripping wallpaper and linoleum?

Not my problem — Yu Jin did it. Having employees really is convenient.

I gathered up all the useless inn junk, planning to process it in one batch.

YES.

100 PT came in. Roughly 1,000 won in value.

Not even enough for a single triangle gimbap. Bitter, sure — but hey, it was something. I decided to stay positive.

Wait, why did I get more than expected, though?

Yu Jin staggered out into the hallway.

"Done… it's finally, finally… over!"

Thud—

Rubber gloves still on, she flopped onto the floor, spread-eagled.

Not as bad off as her brother, but she was exhausted too, and she'd just scrubbed the entire inn in that state. Fair enough.

Stripping wallpaper and linoleum and killing off all that mold would've been brutal.

With the system, spending a mere 1,000 points would have cleaned a whole room at the snap of a finger.

But I couldn't waste precious points on menial labor like that.

I wanted to be ready in case Yu Hyeon's wound got infected. Tetanus, festering — possibilities I couldn't ignore.

The strategy: pay in sweat wherever possible, hoard the points.

Call me an evil boss if you must.

No, honestly, by apocalypse standards I'm an angel among angels. What other workplace treats you this well?

"Boss, I can't feel my fingers… I'm seriously about to die…"

"How the hell did you survive this long, being like this?"

"Hnnnggh…"

That's what I said, but my own back was about to fold in half too.

I punched my stiff lower back with my fist.

Normally I'd never push my body this hard. Running your stamina dry was essentially suicide in this world.

Conserving and stockpiling your strength for emergencies was Survivor Rule Number One.

But this place was a safe zone under the Status Window's divine protection.

A little muscle soreness wasn't going to get my throat torn out, so for once, overexertion was a viable option.

They say after hardship comes reward, right? Time to collect on all that hellish labor.

Ding—!

Finally.

Time to bid farewell to that godforsaken septic tank.

I rushed over and tapped Repair Septic Tank.

Yes — this is what points are for.

Click—

Vrrrrmmm—!

The floor shook like an earthquake had hit.

A blue glow got sucked down into the basement, and somewhere below, water began to flow.

Yu Jin, still sprawled on the floor, sniffed at the air.

"Huh? The smell's gone."

She stared blankly into the bathroom, then her jaw dropped.

"Holy crap… the toilet is glowing?"

The thick black sludge that had plugged the hole was gone without a trace. The rot stench that used to stab at your nose had vanished too.

Sure, it was still a squat toilet, but this world wasn't exactly in a position to be picky.

Barely an hour ago it had been coated in yellow grime, and now it gleamed white like freshly installed porcelain.

In place of the sour mold and bleach stench, a faint, subtle fragrance even hung in the air.

It wasn't anything fancy, but I was thoroughly satisfied. At the very least, nobody was going to die of septic fumes around here anymore.

One catch: the water wasn't unlimited.

A hard limit of two flushes per day.

The inn's plumbing still wasn't connected to running water.

In a world without water, the Status Window lets us flush a toilet twice a day. Praise be to the Status Window.

"Well then — let's see how well this baby flushes."

I stepped into the bathroom and performed the historic inaugural ceremony.

Maybe because it was a brand-new toilet, the suction was absolutely magnificent.

I pressed the lever with my foot, and with a swirl of water, everything went down smooth as silk.

"Ahh, that's the stuff."

In the apocalypse, excretion is a matter of life and death.

Imagine dropping trou mid-poop, unable to even pull your pants back up, while zombies or raiders crack your skull open.

There was no more pathetic, humiliating way to die.

And now I could poop without watching my back. This place is heaven, plain and simple.

Feeling lighter than air, I shook out my pants and pushed open the door, shouting to Yu Jin, who stood dazed in the hallway.

"Hey! You gonna go too?"

"Wh-what is wrong with you?!"

Yu Jin shrieked, her face burning red to the tips of her ears.

We'd be seeing every inch ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠of each other sooner or later — was she really getting this worked up over it?

Legs twisted together, thighs pressed tight. One look told you she was at her absolute limit.

Typical. Females are never honest about these things.

"Why are you writhing around like that? If you gotta go, go."

"I-I don't need to poop!"

"Then what's all that thigh-rubbing about? Dancing?"

"…I-I gotta pee, okay?!"

A pee, huh.

"Then don't flush."

"…Excuse me?!"

"The water main isn't hooked up yet, so we only get two flushes a day. I just used one, so there's exactly one left."

If it were a number two, fine — but no way was I burning this precious opportunity on a tinkle.

"And you and your brother share. One flush a day between the two of you."

Yu Jin looked at me like I'd lost my mind.

"Are you insane?! You want me to poop while watching my brother's poop just sitting there?!"

"Then go first and let him go after. Or alternate days. Pick one."

Arms crossed, I addressed the girl gaping at me in disbelief.

"Answer."

"…Fine."

"Say thank you."

"…Thank you."

Yu Jin nodded meekly and went along with it.

At least the girl had some minimal shred of decency and common sense.

Even in an apocalypse, there was no shortage of villains with udon noodles for brains.

The kind who couldn't accept an obvious common-sense arrangement without first spilling blood over it.

In that sense, this pair didn't seem like the type to stab you in the back or grind your nerves down to nothing.

I held an empty plastic water bottle out in front of Yu Jin's nose.

"Here."

"What's this for?"

"Give it to your brother. When he needs to pee, he does it in here. You collect them and dispose of them in one batch."

He was a patient, after all — straining on the toilet could pop his stitches.

The plan was for him to hold off on number twos for the time being and use the bottle for pee only.

Yu Hyeon was asleep right now. He must have been completely worn out.

Which meant now was my chance. I gave Yu ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Jin the word.

"You — come with me. Right now."

I was thinking shower.

It was a one-shot deal, but there was a seriously juicy bonus skill involved.

I'd have loved to wash Yu Hyeon too, but with his wounds, I decided to leave him be for now.

I'd just tell him to wipe himself down with wet wipes or something.

"…"

Yu Jin shuddered, fists clenched tight. Then she quietly nodded.

And so the girl returned from delivering the bottle.

Yu Jin froze solid the moment she saw me casually ripping my clothes off.

Leaning against the wall, I pointed at the bathroom.

"You too. Clothes off, get in."

"…"

Dust-caked, sweat-stained baggy tracksuit. Yu Jin clutched her chest with both arms and searched my face for signs of a joke.

"Y-you're serious? Take them off for real?"

"Yep. We're washing. You want a shower too, don't ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠you?"

"Y-yeah…"

She bit her lip.