27. Roommate 6 (1)
My head feels like it's splitting open. An intense pain, like someone's squeezing my skull, just won't go away. Even with my eyes closed, my head spins as if everything's swaying, and my stomach churns with nausea.
"Urgh……."
My mouth is parched from the night before—my tongue feels thick no matter how many times I roll it around, filled with that stale taste. I have no idea how much I drank yesterday. Memories of last night are hazy and scattered.
……Ah.
Even in that foggy blur, I clearly remember parading around in such a lewd state. I don't recall exactly how many people saw me or how long I did it for…… but one thing's certain: I was out in public looking like something I absolutely shouldn't.
Pulling my panties down to my thighs and walking around like that…… I must've lost my mind. What the hell did I do? Everyone on the street must've seen.
Fleeting images from those hazy memories swirl chaotically in my head. The subtle stares from strangers, their faces flushed from drinking, sending sidelong glances my way. Jong-woo and Tae-min peeking at me while pretending not to look. And above all…… Yeji unnie's eyes, laced with contempt.
Each one squeezes my chest tighter, like my heart's gripped in a hand and slowly crushed.
My mind's a mess, but my body reacts strangely. It was so thrilling…… Shame and regret flood in, yet that sensation I never want to forget brushes through me. No matter what, last night's thrill won't fade. I want to do it again. I want to wander among people in that slutty state. I bet it'd feel amazing if they looked at me with utter disdain.
Hng…… Just imagining it sends shivers down my spine.
Glancing around, Yeji unnie's still asleep. As always, she's prim and serene, bundled up to her neck like a doll peacefully slumbering. Compared to her, I'm a wreck—one shoulder fully exposed, my nightie hiked up past my waist to my navel.
I must've thrashed around in my sleep again. The fact that I loosen up into such a sloppy state without realizing it is incredibly arousing.
Only Yeji unnie and I are in the room…… but there's that tiny thrill, wondering if someone might peek in. The orange curtains are fully drawn over the window, though. If I lived alone, I'd always leave them open…… She must've closed them last night. Disappointing.
Before I knew it, my head's filled only with filthy thoughts. Lately, everywhere I go, everything I see sparks dirty ideas. It feels good, but is this okay……? Still, nothing bad's happened so far, so it should be fine, right?
I brush off the fleeting worry and head to the window. My head swims as I sit up, but the room's small, so pulling back the curtains and opening it isn't hard. Fresh outdoor air replaces the stuffy night air. A bit muggy, but way better than the dust-laden stuffiness.
The nightie falls naturally below, covering my body, but my shoulder's still bare. Normally, any girl getting this close to the window would fix her clothes…… but knowing that, I just don't want to. Not blatantly exposing myself, not fully covered—just loosely disheveled, standing there feeling the breeze.
How long was I like that when Yeji unnie's voice came from behind? Her voice was hoarse and low, still thick with sleep.
"Hey…… Aren't you tired?"
I slowly turn my head. She's still wrapped in the blanket, looking at me.
"Unnie, you're awake?"
She frowns slightly at my outfit but turns away without a word. Maybe she just thinks it's a bit careless……? She didn't say anything yesterday either, so perhaps she's not bothered.
"Ugh, that perverted bitch……."
My heart drops in an instant. The words were faint, barely audible, but I knew instantly they were aimed at me. It didn't take a second to be sure.
Unnie didn't brush it off casually yesterday. She knew I was a pervert then and now—that's why she said nothing. It's not okay; she just sees no point in saying it. She thinks I'm a hopeless pervert.
She's not even looking at me, just shifting as if to throw off the blanket and get up, head turned away. But my whole body freezes.
What do I say? Can I even speak? That it was just curiosity yesterday? That my panties were soaked and I had no choice? A normal girl wouldn't even use a urinal to begin with. How do I explain that?
My head's a tangled mess of thoughts. I try to sort them, but they scatter uselessly. I want to defend myself…… but I don't know how. I am a pervert, and it did feel good. And all I can think is how I want to do it again—what excuse could possibly work……?
I feel my breaths growing shallow between my lips.
Then unnie turns her head, glancing at me.
"What're you doing? Go wash up."
Her voice is cold. I nod helplessly and shuffle to the bathroom. Even forcing my heavy legs to the sink, I feel her gaze piercing my back. No amount of warm water on my face thaws the chill in my heart. My pulse races irregularly, tension spreading through my body.
Maybe I shouldn't have done this from the start. At least unnie's a girl, so that's a relief. If she were a guy…… Not just vaguely weird like Jong-woo or Tae-min—if a guy found out I'm this much of a pervert…… A chill runs down my spine; I don't even want to think about it.
But in this situation, wondering if I'm really okay for thinking "at least" that…… I can't be sure. Even if unnie's a girl, is this truly fine? It's my life, and I still don't know.
"Hey, let's go eat."
I come out after washing up, and that's what she says. Her gaze is still icy and sharp. I shrink under it but have nothing to say, so I just nod. While she quickly washes, I hurriedly change into decent outdoor clothes—panties and bra included.
Unnie comes out and stares at me wordlessly before heading for the door. I shove my legs into my pants and trot after her.
"Uh, unnie. Where we going?"
I try to sound casual like always, but even I hear the tremor in my voice.
"My head's killing me because of you. Going for hangover soup."
I don't have the guts to say it's the alcohol, not me. Normally, she wouldn't get mad when I wasn't doing something lewd. But now her face looks outright pissed. Despite her indifferent tone, the heavy atmosphere in her steps builds a strange tension.
I can't say a word until we reach a nearby restaurant off-campus. It's a gukbap place I rarely visit, but unnie orders familiarly with practiced gestures, then nods at me to choose. I get the same as her, and her mouth opens.
"Hey, you like doing dangerous shit like that in public that much? I just don't get it."
Her words cut straight to the point. My breath catches. In the quiet late-morning air…… her voice stabs sharp and firm.
My mind blanks; no words come. I know I need to say something…… but my startled, frozen mouth stays shut.
She watches me a moment, then shakes her head with a sigh.
"You know what you did yesterday. How you walked around."
Yeah. I know. I clearly remember prancing in front of people like that. Luckily, no big disaster…… but it's not something that just blows over.
To a normal girl like unnie—not some pervert like me—what I did would be horrifying. How could she understand? Even I get why she's mad. If a close roommate paraded like that, I'd snap too and pretend I never saw her again.
"No one made you, and you still do that shit. Lewd bitch."
But unnie doesn't seem to want to cut ties and end it. I know she has no intention of stopping my weirdness. After all, she made me answer the door naked for delivery last time—anyone who doesn't get that would be an idiot.
"Fuck, even whores wouldn't walk around like that. Disgusting slut."
The contemptuous words keep coming suddenly. Shameless fucking bitch, perverted trash in human skin. Animal spawn. She pauses only when the server nears, then resumes her low, demeaning jabs.
Like venting her mood, insults I've never heard from her before stab sharply into my ears one-sidedly. What drags me lower is I can't counter them. I don't deserve to. Her words hit my heart too precisely.
……Hell, they even feel a little good. Each wave of deep disgust and scorn revives my actions vividly, sending tingles between my legs.
I bow my head deeper as I listen. I can't lift it…… but if I did, she'd see I'm aroused, so I have no choice.
The cruel words shaking my heart feel good in my ears. Strangely, unnie's cold gaze and words make me throb more. Even feeling weird for getting off on this humiliation…… the pleasure coursing my spine won't stop.
Her scorn makes my actions replay vividly, spreading those sensations through my body again.
"Hey, strip."
Even amid it, that one command freezes the air. I look up at her, body rigid. I tell myself not to, but I can't help it. My hunched shoulders crumple further.
Unnie's smile deepens, amused by my reaction. Her downward gaze drips with superiority and contempt.
No matter that it's late morning, the place isn't empty. Servers bustle with hot pots, shabby ajusshis and guys my age come and go frequently.
Stripping here…… if caught…… Everyone would stare. It's near school—rumors could spread. Or maybe they already have from last night. The server might kick us out or call the cops first.
Unnie knows all that; it flashes in my mind instantly. Yet her smile is that of a child cruelly toying with an insect—sadistic, knowing everything.