The Saintess and the Mercenary
Some time passed, and I found myself standing all alone in front of Sien’s orphanage.
The crowds that had gathered were gone, as were the apostles of the Goddess of Purity, ‘Hea’, and Sien herself.
The image of her being led away, revered as a Saintess, was still burned into my mind.
I had swung my fists to stop them, but all I got in return was a barrage of punches from the holy knights.
Sien had watched me fighting so desperately, and in the end, she decided to follow them to stop the violence.
She had pleaded with me to stop, saying that even if I managed to knock down the knights in front of me, more would just keep coming.
And that was how I ended up here, in this state.
“...Ptui.”
I spat out the blood pooling in my split lip.
My entire body ached, every wound throbbing with pain. But none of it compared to the agony in my heart, knowing Sien was gone.
A heavy, hollow pressure weighed on my chest, as if a hole had been torn through it, tormenting me endlessly.
What was happening? Was the pillar of light yesterday a sign that the heroes had been chosen?
Would Sien ever be able to return to me?
With no one to tell me anything, my anxious imagination only grew wilder.
It wasn't until the afternoon that Sien finally returned to the orphanage.
“...Si...en?”
But her attire had changed completely.
Fine, luxurious clothing. And emblazoned in large, golden letters on her chest was the symbol of the Goddess of Purity, ‘Hea’.
She looked like a Saintess in every sense of the word. And surrounding her were several knights, acting as her escort.
I had always complimented her whenever she wore something new, but this time, I couldn't even force a hollow praise.
If anything, I would have preferred to see her in rags rather than those expensive clothes.
Sien walked toward me with a look on her face as if she were about to cry.
“...”
“...”
I stood up naturally, reaching out to take her hand.
-Thwack!
At that moment, a knight standing beside her roughly swatted my hand away, blocking me.
“Don’t you dare touch the Saintess—”
-Pow!
My temper flared instantly, and I swung my fist at the knight.
The fight began.
The knight, having taken a hit, reached for the sword at his waist.
“Stop... please...!”
At that moment, Sien’s urgent voice stopped the knight from drawing his blade.
The knight obeyed her command with a docility that was almost absurd.
“...Understood.”
As he sheathed his sword, the knight warned me.
“From now on, do not lay a hand on the Saintess’s sacred body so carelessly.”
“Who the hell are you to tell me what to do? Sien is—”
“Do not even speak her name so casually. The Saintess is not the person you knew yesterday. She is a hero chosen by the Goddess of Purity, Hea. And for the sake of every race in this world, the Saintess must keep her body pure.”
I despised this knight who thought he could dictate how I treated Sien. I knew Sien better than anyone. Just as I belonged to Sien, Sien belonged to me.
There was no room for anyone else to interfere.
Not even my friends Max and Flint had ever been able to come between us.
It meant that I wasn't the type to be intimidated just because someone knew how to swing a sword.
Feeling the most intense rage I had ever known, I stepped toward the knight again.
“...Bel...!”
But Sien stopped me again. My gaze shifted to her.
And the moment I saw her, all my anger washed away. I just felt a deep, unfair bitterness at this ridiculous situation.
“Sien... what is this...”
“She is the Saintess.”
The knight interrupted again. Sien, clearly annoyed by him, raised her voice—something she rarely did.
“It’s okay for Bel to call me that...! Don’t say anything else...”
“...”
We locked eyes and spoke again.
“Sien... what happened...? What did they tell you when you went there...?”
“...”
For some reason, Sien remained silent. She just kept opening and closing her mouth, as if she had so much to say but couldn't bring herself to speak.
I felt so frustrated with her. I wanted to trust her, but the very fact that she was hiding things from me made me sick.
Sien squeezed her eyes shut, then looked at me with a strained smile.
“...Are you hurt?” she asked, looking at my wounds.
I hesitated for a long time before answering.
“...Yeah. It hurts.”
Sien held back her tears and reached out toward my wounds.
She didn't touch me, just hovered her hands over the injuries. Soon, her hands began to glow brightly, and my wounds started to heal at a rapid pace.
“...”
“...”
For some reason, that miracle only filled me with despair.
“...This doesn’t make sense, Sien.”
“...”
“...What is happening right now?”
“...”
“Why... why are these changes happening to us...”
I tried to grab her hand, which was still hovering in front of my face. But Sien hurriedly lowered her head and hid her hands. My fingers only grasped at empty air.
She said, “...I don’t think I’ll be living at the orphanage anymore. I’ve decided to go to the large church up there... Please come find me there from now on.”
“Sien—”
“—I’ll fix everything, Bel.”
She said it with determination. Her shoulders were trembling, but she spoke as if she wanted this more than anything.
“There must have been some misunderstanding. So... I’ll fix it all, and I’ll come back to you.”
The knights rolled their eyes as they watched her. Sien ignored them and said, “So... can you wait for me safely until then...?”
There was only one answer I could give her. I nodded quietly and let her go. We, who were destined to be husband and wife in the future, had to trust each other.
I always waited for Sien outside the church. And Sien always came out to see me.
It was uncomfortable having several knights and priests trailing behind her, but it was far better than not seeing her at all.
At first, I was satisfied just to see her face, but as time went on, the thirst grew unbearable.
It had been so long since I’d held her hand. It had been so long since we’d hugged.
I had lived my whole life without ever feeling lonely, but for the first time, I felt the sting of it.
Changes had occurred within us. Changes so significant that we both noticed.
Sien’s face grew darker by the day, and I grew thinner. We didn't speak of it, but we could feel each other’s pain vividly.
Whenever that happened, I remembered what Sien had told me. That she would fix things and come back, so I should wait.
Sien must have been fighting fiercely inside. She was gentle and timid, but she had an unyielding integrity.
However, the frequency of her visits began to dwindle.
She used to come out several times a day, then four times. Then twice. Then once.
Eventually, there were days when she didn't come out at all.
I had no choice but to wait for her outside, all night long, with no promise of her arrival.
Even as I haunted the church grounds, rumors from the city reached my ears. I heard the voices of people coming and going to pray.
They said the birth of the Demon King was true, and that several heroes had emerged. They said the pillar of light was the revelation. They said the heroes would protect the safety of the world. They said a Saintess had been born in our city.
I desperately rejected those rumors. I didn't want to believe that Sien was a hero who had to fight the Demon King.
She had promised to come back to me. I was clinging desperately to Sien’s promise.
My friends in the slums would have laughed at me if they saw me like this. But I couldn't help it. I couldn't imagine a life apart from Sien anymore.
It had been three days since I last saw Sien. Finally, the church doors opened, and I realized the time to face her had come again.
“...”
But there was a small change. Before, Sien would run out of the church first, but now, the knights escorting her walked out ahead of her.
Sien no longer ran, nor did she look at me. She simply walked out slowly, surrounded by her guards, with cautious steps.
That trivial behavior made me anxious.
She stopped in front of me.
“...Sien.”
“...”
I called her name, but she didn't answer. I looked at her beautiful face and asked, “...Were you crying?”
Sien’s shoulders trembled at those words. There are things that cannot be hidden, even if you try.
At my question, her tightly pressed lips began to quiver.
After a long time, Sien looked at me with eyes that seemed ready to burst into tears and said, “I wasn’t crying.”
“...”
It was a lie, and it was obvious. It felt as if she had decided to start lying the moment she stepped out of that church.
I was just confused by all of this. An unpleasant, sticky sensation was dragging me down, like a needle piercing my heart.
I carefully grabbed Sien’s shoulders. The surrounding knights tried to swarm me, but this time, the Bishop stopped them.
“It is the last time, so let it be. That much... should be fine.”
“...The last time?”
I repeated the Bishop’s words. My heart hammered against my ribs.
I looked down at Sien. Sien took a deep breath, as if to give me an answer, and opened her mouth.
“...Bel. They say I’m a Saintess.”
“...”
“I tried to refuse, but I’ve accepted it now. The mark on the back of my hand won’t fade, I can heal people’s wounds when I reach out, and... lately, even Lady Hea appears in my dreams.”
“I don’t care about any of that. Let’s go back, Sien.”
Sien shook her head.
“...That’s not it, Bel. I... I think it’s my destiny to protect people. From the monsters and the demons.”
“What kind of bullshit are you saying...! Monsters, of all things...!”
Harsh words slipped out before I could stop them. Sien flinched. I regretted my words at that small gesture, but I couldn't take them back.
Instead, I steadied my breathing and said, “...There’s nothing you hate more than monsters...! You even told me not to work as a mercenary...!”
Sien took several deep breaths. She looked straight at me with moist eyes and said, “I’m leaving for the capital tomorrow.”
“...”
Sien ignored everything I said and only spoke her own mind. She was clearly trying to send me a message. I gritted my teeth and ignored it.
“...I’ll follow you, then.”
“...No. Don’t follow me.”
I couldn't believe such cruel words were coming from Sien’s mouth.
“They say if I’m with you... the power I received from Lady Hea will keep getting weaker.”
“Let it get weaker...!”
“...I can’t.”
“...”
I looked at Sien, then shifted my gaze to the Bishop and the knights behind her. I shouted, “You bastards, what did you do to Sien—”
“—They didn’t do anything, Bel.”
“...”
“...It was my choice alone.”
How could I believe that? Her lies were so transparent. I knew it just by the way she was clenching her fingers together. That was her habit whenever she lied.
I pulled Sien by the shoulders and pressed my forehead against hers. It was a distance that would look close to others, but it was familiar to us.
I whispered so only she could hear. “...Sien... why are you doing this... you told me just a few days ago that you’d come back to me...”
“...Bel... they say the lives of hundreds of millions of people depend on my hands.”
“...”
“It’s too large a number for me to ignore... Even for the sake of my parents, who were doctors... I...”
I knew she had that kind of personality. She was kind-hearted to begin with. But selfishly, I wanted her to choose me. I wanted her to prioritize me over hundreds of millions of people. Because that’s what I would have done.
As if she had read my mind, Sien asked, “If it were you, would you have acted differently...?”
“Of course. I—”
“Even if I were included among those millions?”
“...”
I was momentarily speechless at her point. I opened my mouth, but no answer came out. I imagined myself in her situation. If I had received the revelation. If I knew that being together might lead to Sien’s death. Would I have ignored that small possibility?
“...Sien... then... then I’ll wait until you come back...”
“I’m not coming back.”
“...What?”
Sien wiped her eyes with her sleeve. “When this is over, I’ll be a hero. Why would I have any reason to return to your side?”
“...”
“I’ll wear clean clothes and eat delicious food. There’s no reason for me to go back to you.”
She had told me she wouldn't care if we were poor. She had told me she only needed me. So this must be a lie too, but why couldn't I be sure? I knew it wasn't true, but her words sank deep into my heart.
Perhaps I couldn't refute her because I felt ashamed of my own poverty. Perhaps I was still bothered by the fact that I had urged her to give up her parents’ inheritance.
Sien shook off my hands from her shoulders. From that moment on, she turned cold, as if she had hardened her heart.
“...We’re done being best friends.”
“...”
When had she started preparing for this farewell? How long had she been planning this to be able to say such cruel things? How much pain must she be in to spit these words out?
I tried to understand her heart.
“I’m going to live as a Saintess from now on. I can’t get married anymore.”
But every time Sien personally broke our plans, “We’re not going to travel the world anymore, either. Let’s throw that dream away.”
The dirty temper I’d learned in the slums began to stir.
“...Sien.”
“You can hate me. You can resent me. You don’t have to keep your promise to me. You... live happily, too.”
“...You’re going to abandon me?”
I knew my words only made her farewell harder.
“Is this... the end?”
“...”
“You won’t let me follow you, and you won’t come back...?”
But even like this, I wanted to hold onto her. I wanted her to feel the pain I was feeling, so that she would come back to me.
“Don’t do this, Sien.”
“........Let’s leave the memories we built until now as just that—memories.”
“...If you leave... I’ll resent you.”
For the first time, I spoke harshly to her. The fragile Sien covered her ears tightly with both hands at those words.
“As time passes, you’ll be able to look back on this as a foolish memory.”
She kept her eyes closed, her ears covered, and spoke only what she had memorized.
"How could that ever be a foolish memory!!"
I raised my voice the more she acted like that. I wanted my voice to pierce through those small hands.
“Is it okay if I forget you? Is it okay if I fall in love with someone else!”
“..............”
“Answer me, Sien...!”
“Goodbye... thank you for everything.”
She opened her eyes and looked at me for a long time. As if she were carving me into her memory. And then, she turned away.
I wasn't prepared for any of this, but she was leaving me behind.
Sien, moving further and further away. I finally spat out the cruelest words of all.
“...Don’t go.”
“...”
“...Please.”
My voice trembled. For the first time, I begged her. “Please... I’m begging you. I don’t want it to end like this.”
I threw away all my pride. I needed her that much.
I said the words that Sien could never leave behind. At those words, Sien froze in place. My final words seemed to shake her to her core.
Her slender shoulders began to tremble. I couldn't see her face, so I didn't know what expression she was wearing.
She stood there for a long time. Then, with her back still turned to me, she said cruelly, “...We won’t ever meet again...”
“...”
“...And even though these words of mine... will become a selfish curse... *sob*... I have to say them.”
“...”
“Don’t forget me, Bel.”
And with that, Sien left me.