Building Honor (2)
It was dawn, and the sun had yet to rise. I woke up naturally, as I always did. Today was the day of the battle.
The faint, restless commotion drifting in from outside signaled that this was no ordinary day. Even though I had experienced countless subjugation missions, the tension was always different every time. Especially when I considered that today could be the day many of my comrades might die.
But all this pressure was something I had to overcome in the end. I rose from my bed alone, as was my habit, and began to prepare. I rolled my shoulders and loosened my neck. Then, I strapped the sword I’d left in the corner of the room to my waist and stepped out.
“...Are you leaving now?”
At that moment, a voice called out from behind me. Startled by the unfamiliar sound, I turned around to see Neir sitting up in bed, peering at me from behind the pillow placed in the center of the mattress.
For some reason, I hadn't expected her to wake up. I hadn't really wanted to wake her, either. I felt like we didn't have much to say to each other.
“...I have to.”
“...”
I suddenly wondered what she might say to me later if our relationship were to improve. If we were a couple in love, would we have had a more emotional parting?
I pushed the idle thoughts aside and turned back around. I placed my hand on the door and pushed.
“...Hey.”
Neir called out to me again.
“...What?”
“...”
She hesitated for a long time. She looked like she wanted to say something, but couldn't quite bring herself to decide. I didn't want to pressure her.
“...That is...”
“...”
“...I mean...”
When she couldn't finish her sentence even after I gave her time, I spoke. Today, I didn't have the luxury of waiting. No matter how much I had prepared, there were things I simply had to do.
“...I’ll be back.”
At those words, Neir finally gave a faint nod. Seeing that, I turned and stepped outside.
On the way to the encampment, I saw something unusual. Several pairs of wolf-kin couples were standing outside their homes. Simple incantations were being performed here and there.
I knew the wolf-kin were skilled in combat, medicine, and sorcery, but I hadn't realized it was this common. Every single couple I could see was doing it. The men were baring their backs to the women—presumably their wives—and the women were placing both hands on those backs. As the women muttered, orange, shimmering light emanated from their bodies and flowed into the men they were touching.
I had prided myself on having seen plenty of wolf-kin, but this was the first time I had witnessed such a thing.
Just then, someone spoke to me from behind.
“They are sharing their Qi. For their husbands heading into battle.”
I turned around to see Gidin approaching me. Adam was standing beside him.
I paused at the unfamiliar term Qi, and Gidin continued.
“...I trust the Vice-Captain received it as well.”
His expression held a faint sneer. He clearly knew that I hadn't performed such a ritual with Neir.
“...”
I glanced at Adam. I didn't want him to worry about the relationship between me and Neir. Perhaps this was what Neir had been hesitating to tell me that morning.
Gidin and I didn't exchange many words. We only traded glares.
“Captain Adam. I shall go check on my soldiers now.”
“Yes. See you later.”
Gidin left first, offering a greeting to Adam. I watched his retreating back.
Adam walked over slowly and said to me, “...I spent a long time discussing the operation with Gidin.”
“...”
“He certainly understands things quickly. He observes the situation seriously and offers advice... I suppose it means that even if we are hostile, our goals are the same.”
“...”
“...So, I don't think he’ll do anything foolish, but he keeps picking fights.”
“...”
Adam looked at my silent expression and said, “...Berg. Don't do anything reckless.”
I looked at him, puzzled. “What do you mean?”
“It’s written all over your face. Honestly... you have such a short temper.”
“...As if you’re any better, Captain.”
I didn't strongly deny his words. I was finding Gidin increasingly intolerable. It had only gotten worse after hearing the day before that Neir had been eating alone for so long. As the eldest son, Gidin’s influence must have played a huge role in creating the atmosphere that bullied her.
Whether I had enough feelings for Neir to be this angry... that was debatable. But she was my wife, after all. It felt unfair to just stand by. I felt like I needed to pay him back to feel at ease. The habits I’d learned in the slums—that I had to look out for my own—didn't leave me easily.
Adam draped his arm over my shoulder.
“Berg. Putting that aside, did you rest well?”
I nodded. “And you?”
“I’m in good shape, too.”
“...”
“Right, Berg. About what happens after the subjugation...”
“...Yeah?”
“From now on, don't just hide in the shadows. Let’s step into the light.”
He was saying the same thing he’d mentioned before.
“As I said last time, the Red Flame Mercenary Corps is becoming famous, but no one knows who the vice-captain is. Let’s use this opportunity to make a name for yourself. If you had a reputation, you wouldn't be dealing with this annoying business with Gidin right now.”
I had never once stepped forward during my time as vice-captain of the Red Flame. At first, it was just because I didn't want to get involved in troublesome matters. I ended up dumping all the brain-work on Adam. But as time passed, I felt uncomfortable claiming the credit. After all, the achievements our lead squad made were often built upon the deaths of our members. I felt a pang of conscience at taking all that glory for myself.
The other members of the lead squad had raised their voices, telling me not to think like that and to step up, but I had ignored all those suggestions until now. Because my fame rising wouldn't change much.
...But now, my thoughts were gradually changing. Perhaps, as Adam said, if my subjugation records and my name had been well-known, this might not have happened.
“And you’re married now, too.”
“...?”
Adam continued, “...Now, your wife’s reputation will follow your name as well.”
I had never thought of it that way... but perhaps he was right about this, too.
“...Think about it, Berg. I get angry every time I see you being looked down upon by someone like Gidin.”
At his words, I massaged my neck lightly. Then, I quietly nodded. He smiled.
“If you really hate it, I won't force you... but anyway. Come on. Let’s finish this quickly and head back to Stakpin.”
My head felt a little lighter at his words. I steeled my resolve and headed toward the Red Flame encampment with him.
Once all preparations were complete, we moved out. Clad in thick armor and mounted on horseback, we headed toward the massive leader beast, ‘Draig,’ located to the northwest. Adam led the way, riding slowly, followed by my lead squad and Gidin’s party. Each group consisted of about 30 people.
Baran, who was behind me, whispered something to Shaun and Jackson, members of the lead squad.
“What? That really happened?”
“Whoa... seriously?”
Whatever Baran had said, Shaun and Jackson gasped. Then, they began to glare at Gidin. They were likely explaining the conflict between me and Gidin. It was a story only the officers were supposed to know.
Meanwhile, Gidin spoke to me.
“By the way, Vice-Captain. You’re a newlywed... did you sleep well?”
When I turned to look, Gidin and his brothers were smiling. It was an insult too subtle to point out, but the constant provocation made my emotions stir. It was a feeling I had tasted often in the mercenary groups I’d been in before the Red Flame. Because there were so many different races, such power struggles were common. I had forgotten about them since joining the Red Flame, as I had only dealt with humans.
“...”
Still, I was a bit dumbfounded. How could they be so foolish? What did they think would happen if we harbored ill intent? Perhaps it was because we looked more like a well-trained army than a mercenary group. Or perhaps they were so arrogant because they knew we couldn't harm them. After all, the Blackwood army had followed us along with the three brothers, and if they all died and didn't return, we would have no excuse.
“...Did the close-knit brothers sleep well, too? I never see you apart for even a moment.”
I retorted with a light insult of my own. The smile on Gidin’s face gradually faded. I ignored him and continued.
“Ah, Gidin. By the way, I heard your position hasn't been decided yet.”
“...I have memorized the entire plan, so I am thinking of earning some merit in my own way. Berg, you should just hide in the back.”
I told him a fact I hadn't bothered to share until now.
“Do you think the lead squad should be hiding in the back?”
“...”
Gidin’s expression changed the moment he heard the words ‘lead squad.’ He seemed to know that it was the squad that always took on the most dangerous roles.
“...You’re in the lead squad, Vice-Captain?”
“That’s right.”
“...Don't lie. What foolish mercenary group puts their vice-captain in the lead squad?”
Adam clicked his tongue from the front. “That’s why I told you to stop, Berg. Everyone thinks like that.”
Gidin was watching us, trying to figure out if we were lying. He rolled his eyes, then seemed to remember something.
“...Ha, you expect me to believe that the person leading the lead squad has a subjugation record of only 20?”
I didn't bother to make excuses for the previous lie. Instead, I made him an offer. Since it had come to this, I decided to vent a little of my frustration. I wondered if things would be different if I had made a name for myself, as Adam had suggested.
“Gidin. If your position isn't decided, why don't you join us?”
“...What did you say?”
“If you find it hard to believe I’m in the lead squad, you can just follow us. I’d like to see the strength of a warrior who has subjugated 26 beasts. It’ll also help you gain that honor you’re so fond of.”
“...”
Gidin didn't answer easily. He couldn't. Even if I suddenly asked him to join the lead squad, only a handful of people would accept. How many would agree to double their chances of dying? Of course, Gidin, with his record of 26, might accept. And since he had already said so much, backing out would make him look bad.
As Gidin hesitated, Shaun shouted from behind.
“Ah, it seems the young master has swallowed his fear.”
Baran, Shaun, and Jackson giggled at the joke. It felt like the raw, gritty atmosphere of a mercenary group was finally emerging, rather than the rigid atmosphere of an army. I laughed as I looked at Gidin, a faint trace of contempt in my eyes. I never backed down from a fight.
They seemed to finally realize we were a mercenary group, not an army, and raised their guard. Gidin whispered, “...As expected, humans are barbaric.”
I replied to his whisper, “If you know that, you’d better watch your mouth.”
“What? You commoner bastard—”
Adam spoke from the front. “Alright, alright. That’s enough fighting. Berg, you stop too.”
As always, Adam made the wisest choice. Perhaps that was why I couldn't help but trust and follow him. I could feel through his back that he was on my side, but his position forced him to say that. Since I always showed respect for him in front of the members, I complied with his order.
“...Gidin, my apologies. Perhaps my joke went too far—”
“—Enough.”
Gidin cut me off, his temper flaring. He had dropped all pretense of respect toward me. I smiled inwardly. It was easy to see he’d taken the bait. Gidin scowled and said, “...Fine, I’ll follow. Even so, I’ll be able to earn more merit than a coward hiding behind his men. Captain, I will accompany the Vice-Captain.”
Adam expressed his concern at Gidin’s declaration. “...Are you sure about this?”
“Don't worry. No matter how much we argue, the liberation of Blackwood territory comes first, so I won't do anything stupid.”
“...No, that’s not what I meant...”
Adam looked at me.
“...”
I quietly nodded. Adam let out a long sigh and said to Gidin, “...Understood. Then it is settled.”
I smiled at Gidin. “I look forward to working with you.”