Three Girls' Cum-Serving Play (2)
I was going through a rough stretch in more ways than one back when I was a university freshman.
In the first year after Yumin left this world, I lived half out of my mind, drowning in regret and guilt.
I skipped class so often I barely scraped by without failing the year, and even on the days I did show up, I could feel the other kids carefully steering clear of me, so I would leave early.
Somehow after that I managed to study like everyone else and got into this university, but people's first impression of me was still that of a gloomy, scrawny loner guy.
I didn't particularly want to get close to them either. At the time I was filled with hatred, rage, and terror toward the very existence known as "humans."
Of course the "humans" I despised included myself. I hated myself with a vicious intensity, and I was terrified of myself.
I killed Yumin… I was the one who killed her… I…
Those thoughts would surface dozens of times a day, making my whole body tremble.
Time passed like that until around May.
Even as much of a loner as I was, by then I could at least figure out who was in our department.
Most of the kids were fully savoring the joy of their first semester as university students, soaking up their youth.
For a long time I believed I was the only one left outside their circles, drifting on the fringes.
But looking closer, there was one more. A girl with an indifferent expression who, like me, had voluntarily become a loner.
That girl was Jihyun.
Since neither of us almost ever joined department events, we rarely crossed paths. The reason Jihyun stuck in my memory anyway was purely because of her enormous breasts.
Even someone like me couldn't easily forget a pair that massive after seeing them once.
Jihyun probably knew I existed too. But of course, even when we happened to meet, we never greeted each other or acknowledged one another.
While everyone else basked in their brilliantly shining youth, my time flowed by gray and lonely.
Then one day.
I went to the neighborhood library to study for exams and ran into Jihyun by chance.
She looked like she had pulled an all-nighter the night before, hollow-eyed and stumbling along.
…That girl, is she trying for top of the class or something… She's always living at the library.
Up until then Jihyun was more focused on racking up good grades than landing a rich guy, so she holed up in the library every single day like a high-school exam prep student.
I had even overheard some guys lamenting, "Don't just study—come out to a mixer or something once in a while."
Well, breasts as huge as Jihyun's would have left a deep impression not just on me but on the other guys too.
Anyway, that day I crossed paths with her again but pretended not to notice and headed to my seat to study.
By pure coincidence my seat was directly across from hers. The desks were wide and open with no partitions, so I could see Jihyun sitting opposite me perfectly clearly.
I tried my hardest not to pay attention and focused on my work. Then a soft snoring sound drifted over, so I glanced up—Jihyun had slumped forward and fallen asleep.
"Snore… snore…"
I figured she must be exhausted from staying up all night and tried to dismiss it casually.
But right then I heard whispering from somewhere. I turned my head and saw two guys sitting next to her snickering.
Looking closer, they were ogling the massive breasts hanging down under the desk.
On top of that, Jihyun had undone two buttons on her shirt—maybe because the library was warm—so in that slumped position her cleavage was blatantly exposed.
Then the two guys pulled out their phones and started photographing the sleeping Jihyun.
Gradually the phones grew bolder, angling straight toward her chest.
I stared blankly at the scene for a moment, then suddenly stood up and strode over to them.
"…Hey. You just took a picture looking this way, didn't you?"
When I spoke in a low voice, every eye in the library snapped toward me at once.
Jihyun seemed to sense the strange atmosphere too; she slowly stirred awake and looked around.
The two guys who had been photographing her flustered and desperately denied it, then scrambled up and bolted.
Jihyun stared blankly after their retreating backs with a just-woken expression, then eventually let her gaze drift over to me.
I was embarrassed by all the stares, and my stomach was churning from doing something so out of character, so I packed my things to just go home.
But as I stepped out of the library and started walking, someone called out behind me.
"…Hey, you there. Wait a minute."
I stopped dead and turned. Jihyun stood there with her arms crossed, wearing that blunt expression of hers.
…First time hearing her voice… I thought it'd be sharp, but it's softer than I expected.
I thought that while staring at her blankly.
Then Jihyun cleared her throat with a little ahem and primly opened her mouth.
"…Thanks for earlier. I figured I should at least say thank you."
"…It's fine. No problem. I'm going then."
When I turned to leave again, Jihyun suddenly spoke.
"…You're that guy, right? The famous creepy one in the department."
I stopped once more and glanced back at her. She shrugged with her usual indifferent look and continued.
"…I heard you never show your face at drinking parties and don't talk to anyone."
I glared at her for a beat, then answered curtly.
"…You're pretty famous yourself, you know."
"…Just like the rumors—you're unpleasant."
Jihyun snarked with a tone so snide it could never pass for someone expressing gratitude.
I snorted, shook my head, and started to walk away. Then she spoke again.
"…Actually, you know, I'm not really thankful for earlier."
I had been ready to ignore her and keep going, but those words were impossible to just swallow and walk past.
"What?"
When I frowned and turned back to demand clarification, Jihyun repeated it with deliberate emphasis.
"I said I'm not really thankful. I'm already used to that kind of thing happening. Even if you stop it this time, they'll just do it again next time. So I'm not thankful at all. Got it?"
I stared at her with an incredulous expression, thinking what kind of person is this.
But something strange happened. As she said those words, tears welled up and trembled in her eyes.
Swept up in emotions she herself couldn't understand, Jihyun sniffled, wiping at the tears, and mumbled.
"Well then, bye. Take care."
She whirled around and walked away slowly, sniffling.
…Looking back on it now, I roughly understand what Jihyun was feeling then.
Self-hatred and rage at the world had filled her heart at the same time, so the tears she had been holding back all this while burst out all at once without her realizing it.
But of course, at the time my exasperation was sky-high.
I muttered as if dumbfounded.
"…You really have a shitty personality."
Jihyun stopped dead in her tracks and stood still for a long moment, then spoke in a small, trembling voice.
"…I know that too."
"…Yeah. Anyway, I'm going. Bye."
I turned as coldly as I could and walked away.
Honestly, until then my feelings toward Jihyun hadn't been that bad, but after this I felt they were about to get a lot worse.
Then right at that moment Jihyun spun back around, clenched her fists tight, and shouted after me.
"…Hey, wait a sec…!"
When I turned with a "what now?" look, she gulped, fidgeted restlessly, then mumbled quietly with a face gone red.
"…Want to team up… as fellow creepy loners…?"
The instant I heard those words, I suddenly felt as if everything were starting over from the very beginning.
From the moment I first met Yumin—playing together, sleeping, eating, then eventually wounding each other and ending in tragedy—that entire history.
We're a team, right?
The words Yumin had often said to me replayed in my head with unbearable vividness, over and over.
I froze, pale, and couldn't answer for a long while. Jihyun smiled weakly and mumbled.
"…Sorry. I know what you're going to say too. You don't have to answer…"
"No."
I barely managed to come back to myself, squeezed my eyes shut, and forced the words out.
Then, nodding, I continued.
"…Yeah. Let's team up."
Jihyun's eyes went round as if she had never imagined I would answer like that, and her face flushed deep red.
Well, of course. She had just been spouting personality-wrecked lines with her own mouth moments earlier.
If you asked a hundred people the same question, every last one of them would have flatly rejected that absurd proposal.
But for me there was a reason not to. Or rather, a reason I couldn't not.
…This time for sure.
I thought to myself.
…This time for sure… I'm going to do it right.
Whether that was atonement for Yumin who had died because of my fault, or a mockery of her, I didn't know.
In truth it was unfair to Jihyun as well. Because it was wanting to replace the dead Yumin with her.
But the fierce desire to do exactly that simply filled my heart, and I couldn't refuse.
After that I spent a full five years in a will-they-won't-they with Jihyun before we finally became a couple at the beginning of this year.