Don’t Come Bother Me
Ancient city of Yukram.
A place where the brutal war between humans and demons had dragged on for more than a hundred years.
When Kang Juhyuk arrived there, he grabbed the village chief, who had the nerve to call himself a hero, by the collar.
“You wanna die? Old man, do you seriously want to get yourself killed?”
“W-why are you suddenly acting like this, Hero? Please calm down.”
“Calm down? How the hell am I supposed to calm down? Are you blind?”
“I do have eyes, of course.”
“Then why are you telling me to go into that place alone?!”
A towering outer wall of brick, looking like the remnants of civilization.
An army of goblins and orcs guarding the wall and the surrounding area.
A force that looked to number well over a hundred, no, easily over a thousand.
He had assumed it was just a ruin from the name alone, but seeing it with his own eyes, it was nothing less than a fortress of orcs and goblins.
“Then should I go in instead? You’re the hero.”
“Why am I the hero?”
“I can tell at a glance. You are the Second Hero.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
“It was the same road the previous hero walked as well.”
“The previous hero? You’re full of shit. Did you forget I nearly got my legs ruined last time because I listened to you and went to the Demon King’s castle?”
The village chief twisted Hero Kang Juhyuk’s wrist.
Crack.
“I remember.”
“Agh! Let go, or what? You crazy old bastard.”
“Please go and return safely. I wish you good fortune.”
“Good fortune my ass, I’m gonna punch you right in the face, you piece of— let go of my hand!!”
“The hero’s heirloom is the necklace hanging around the goblin chief’s neck.”
“Let go!”
“Yes!”
As the village chief let go and shoved Juhyuk in the back,
Thud.
Juhyuk lost his balance and stumbled out of the brush.
No, wait, no.
At the same time, he came face-to-face with two orc guards stationed at the entrance of ancient Yukram.
“...H-hi?”
He was screwed from the very start.
Juhyuk was seized by the orc guards and dragged into the city, tightly bound in ropes, where they interrogated him.
By the time they finally arrived at the deepest part of Yukram, where his lips were split open all over and he was in such a wreck he could barely move, it was at the shrine in the very heart of the city.
The goblin chief’s barracks.
“Human, did you not know that this area is the territory of Lord Demon King Selenia?”
When the goblin, who looked to be at least eighty years old and had more beard than hair, asked the question, Juhyuk kicked his brain into overdrive and answered in hopes of getting out of the situation.
“I knew.”
“You knew?”
“Yes.”
As far as he remembered, Demon King Selenia was the master of the Blue Magic Tower he had met earlier.
“I’m sorry, but what’s your name?”
“How dare you ask my name?”
“Ah, I should introduce myself first. I’m Kang Juhyuk. I’m a human currently acting under Lord Selenia’s orders.”
“Lord Selenia’s?”
“Yes, that is why I asked who you were.”
Juhyuk spoke as politely as he could.
“As the orc chief no doubt knows, Lord Selenia was originally human, was she not?”
“That is so. Lord Selenia was human.”
“By virtue of that old connection, I came to work under Lord Selenia. If you don’t believe me, you can contact the Blue Magic Tower.”
The Blue Magic Tower was at least four days away from here. Which meant there was no way to verify that right this instant.
As Juhyuk forced a strained smile,
the goblin chief gave a short nod.
“My name is Krim Hongguram.”
“Oh! That’s a great name, Krim Hongguram.”
“It means the greatest alchemist among goblins.”
“I see.”
“Still, Lord Selenia becoming human was more than a thousand years ago. How are you, a human, still alive?”
That woman was that old?!
If she were Korean, that would mean she’d been alive since the Goryeo dynasty.
For an ordinary person, it was a perfectly bewildering question.
But thanks to the countless fantasy games Juhyuk had played in his real life, he improvised on the spot.
“I am human, but I’m also undead.”
Undead.
Those who continued to carry their will forward in a state of anti-death, somewhere between life and death.
“You’re undead?”
“That’s right. Can you see it? My rotten foot.”
When Juhyuk took off his shoe and showed it to them,
his blackened big toe was revealed.
It was the badge of slavery he’d earned from spending long hours standing around in dress shoes at the department store.
“It’s true.”
For now, he’d survived the crisis.
But how was he supposed to get out of Yukram?
Even as he thought about the question, the village chief’s face flashed through his mind.
“Yes, and I have something to tell you.”
The chief nodded.
“Go on.”
“The reason I came here was to capture the hero’s companion I was pursuing on Lord Selenia’s orders.”
“The hero’s companion?!”
“Yes. I found him near Lord Selenia’s tower, and he seemed to be up to something suspicious.”
It wasn’t a lie.
That damned old man had called him the hero’s companion before.
“A hard story to believe. Why would the hero’s companion come to Yukram?”
“That necklace hanging around the orc chief’s neck right now.”
A star-shaped necklace set with a red jewel.
Was that the hero’s heirloom?
It certainly looked unusual.
“That fellow is after the hero’s heirloom.”
“?!”
“Chief, I know where that bastard is. If you give me the chance, I’ll take you to him.”
The chief’s eyebrows twitched.
“Hold on. How do you know that?”
“Didn’t I just tell you? I was chasing him under Lord Selenia’s orders.”
“...Right, you did.”
“I’ve been pretending to be on his side by using the fact that I’m human.”
“So you’re a spy.”
“Exactly.”
Juhyuk lifted his bound hands and went on.
“If you give me troops, I’ll bring that guy back.”
The goblin chief fell into thought.
If he really could capture the hero’s companion exactly as this bastard claimed...
Wouldn’t this be the perfect chance to show Lord Demon King Selenia my abilities?
But.
He couldn’t hand over troops to some stranger just because he said so.
The goblin chief leaned on his staff and slowly stood.
“No, I’ll go myself.”
Then he ordered the two orc guards to untie Juhyuk’s hands.
Pop.
“Lead the way. To where that hero’s companion is.”
“Yes.”
With those words, Juhyuk led the goblin chief and the orc force to where the village chief was waiting.
And not just any force, either, but more than a hundred elite troops.
Perfect.
Here was his chance to get back at that damn village chief.
He’d dared to shove him into a pit of evil?
Now it was your turn, you crazy old bastard.
However.
Juhyuk’s ambitious plan was crushed to dust in an instant.
When Yukram’s monster army arrived at the place where they were supposed to meet the village chief again,
they encountered an enemy they had not expected.
“My name is Max Kaiser. I have come to punish you in the name of justice.”
A knight in golden armor appeared with overwhelming swagger.
And hidden in the forest was a knightly force clad in silver armor.
There were well over a thousand of them, and in an instant they surrounded the goblin chief and the orc army.
“?!”
Krim Hongguram glared at Juhyuk with a face twisted by fury.
“...You damned undead bastard. You dared set a trap for me?”
Juhyuk waved his hands in flustered denial.
No. I don’t know bastards like that.
“I’ll never forgive you, not even if I die!”
“Hang on, Krim Hongguram. I think there’s been a misunderstanding.”
“Misunderstanding?”
“Yeah, I...”
Only then did the village chief appear.
“Hero! Hero, are you all right?”
He rushed over from behind Max Kaiser and handed Juhyuk a sword that shimmered with blue light.
“I’m so glad you made it back alive. While I was waiting for you, I happened to run into imperial troops nearby. Once I explained the situation, they sent troops right away!”
Imperial troops?
“You read my mind and lured Yukram’s core forces all the way here. As expected of you, Hero, you’re incredible.”
Juhyuk’s hand began to tremble.
“Now then, let’s defeat that goblin and find the hero’s heirloom. Come, show everyone here your power, Hero!”
With a stiff expression, Juhyuk gripped the sword tightly.
Swish.
As much as he wanted to swing the sword back and kill the village chief right then and there,
killing the hero’s companion in front of Crown Prince Max Kaiser and the imperial troops was obviously out of the question.
Step, step, step.
Kang Juhyuk took three steps forward.
Then he slowly turned back, pointed the sword at the chief, and
Flash.
“I am Hero Kang Juhyuk. From this moment on, I will purge evil in the name of justice.”
He gave a dazzling smile.
* * *
Juhyuk stroked his necklace lightly with a satisfied expression.
“This is the necklace I took from the goblin chief back then. It was the first hero’s heirloom I ever got.”
“Oh... what kind of power does it have?”
“It lets me summon anotherworld companions whenever I need them.”
“Companions?”
“Yeah.”
Juhyuk casually ruffled Minho’s hair as he went on.
“Anyway, what do you think? The goblin I mentioned. He looks exactly like that guy, doesn’t he?”
“Uncle.”
“Hm?”
“Uh... just in case I’m wrong, I’m asking. The goblin chief’s name. You didn’t just make it up on the spot, did you?”
“Nope.”
It looked, for all the world, like a name forced together out of thin air.
“Honggyeom and Hongguram. They’re way too similar.”
“Do you really think I’d make up a story just to mess with that goblin bastard?”
It did seem like something his uncle would do.
“Besides, Hunter Honggyeom and Hongguram have nothing in common except that they’re both goblins.”
Kim Honggyeom grabbed Minho by the shoulder.
“I am not a goblin.”
“Ahh! S-sorry! I got confused for a second.”
“You said your name was Minho.”
“...Yes.”
“Keep your head on straight. If you start doing that too, I might actually lose it for real.”
The vein standing out on Honggyeom’s forehead and his reddening eyes made his anger plain.
“O-okay.”
Minho, frightened, quickly changed the subject.
“So what happened to the goblin chief?”
“He ran away.”
“Ran away?”
“Yeah. He used his subordinates as shields and disappeared into Yukram. He was even making ancient weapons using the exact same alchemy as that guy.”
“Ancient weapons?”
“Yep. Hey, goblin. You wanna learn the technique I just mentioned?”
As he listened, Honggyeom suddenly sprang to his feet, drawing the dagger at his waist and snapping into a fighting stance.
“Enough pointless chatter. Kang Juhyuk, get ready.”
Kang Juhyuk stood too, fork and knife in hand.
“Is the croffle I ordered earlier finally here?”
“No! A bounty hunter seems to have arrived. I can feel strong mana nearby.”
Juhyuk shrugged and sat back down.
Thud.
“What are you talking about? Doesn’t seem like there’s anyone strong around here.”
That was your standard, though.
“Enough with the game talk. Kid, hide yourself behind that table over there.”
“Yes!”
The three of them prepared to face the bounty hunter inside the cafe, and before long, a middle-aged hunter with a ponytail opened the door and walked in.
“...Kang Juhyuk, I came knowing you were here.”