Chapter 334
Chapter 334
“Shen Lang, even though we slept together, we’re still brothers from now on.”
Shen Lang nodded emphatically.
“The best of brothers.”
“The best of brothers!”
“Ning Yan, where I come from, there’s a rule for becoming brothers.”
“What rule is that?”
“In a dormitory, there are two guys who are really close. If one of them suddenly becomes a woman, what should she do?”
“She should move out.”
“No. First, she should have a good time with her brother. So, you and I are good brothers, but it’s also okay for us to fool around sometimes.”
Before Shen Lang could finish, a slap from the bed struck his face. This time, the two did not become entangled again.
“Shen Lang, I’m warning you. What just happened was the second time, but it will absolutely be the last. If I, Ning Yan, ever sleep with you again, I’ll castrate you myself.”
*Damn it, you’re the one sleeping with me, so why am I the one getting castrated?*
Ning Yan dressed and left the room.
* * *
Outside the room, the empire’s envoy, Yun Mengze, was whistling. Don’t get the wrong idea. He wasn’t trying to tease them; he was actually playing a bamboo flute. Ning Yan clenched her fists, wanting to beat that stud to death. But looking down at her own delicate, pale fists, she knew she was no match for him. So, she gave up on the idea of beating him to death in a fit of rage.
“Yun Mengze, if I ever find a weakness of yours, I’ll kill you on the spot.”
After spitting out the harsh words, Ning Yan left. In truth, she was flustered to the point of not knowing what to do. She didn’t want to go home, but she had no idea where else to go. Her heart was in turmoil.
Shen Lang, his clothes torn, came out with them haphazardly thrown on. Yun Mengze said to him.
“It seems my younger brother is a bit more relaxed now. You look much better.”
Shen Lang felt a little awkward.
“Thank you, brother.”
After the brief word of thanks, he felt a pang of regret.
*What am I thanking him for? Yun Mengze, you made me cheat? I, Shen Lang, am a man of purity and integrity. I would never do anything to betray my wife. This is all your fault. All your fault.*
Of course, he couldn't voice such shameless thoughts.
“It was nothing. I’m not a particularly useful person, so this is the only talent I have. But in my opinion, Ning Yan is the one who should be thanking me. You, my brother, have no shortage of women, but Ning Yan has no men around her.”
“What’s… what’s her situation?”
“Her husband was a very passive man.”
Shen Lang understood immediately.
*So her husband was the receptive one.*
It was a fraudulent marriage on the man’s part. Yun Mengze continued.
“Oh, with the long-standing conflict between our two nations, and after Jiang Li’s sudden death, the King of Yue also became a bit passive. He thought of strengthening the state through a marital alliance and married Ning Yan off to the son of the Imperial Prince Lian. But that fellow grew up to be a man who only liked other men. That’s why Ning Yan developed her current masculine personality. She was just pretending.”
Ah, so that’s how it was!
“But she pretended for so long that she herself started to believe she had become a man. So it became quite a headache for Ning Yan. Her standards are incredibly high, so she doesn’t give ordinary men the time of day. And the men who might have been a good match for her, after knowing her for a long time, would start to see her as a man and… couldn’t get it up. Weren’t you about to enter that state yourself, little brother?”
Shen Lang had thought he had already entered the fourth stage, but it turned out he was only stuck at the third, the slightly-stiff stage.
“I couldn’t just stand by, so I moved things along quickly. Otherwise, I was afraid this girl would walk down the path of a man and never return. And you two just happened to be like dry tinder and a burning flame, so I took the opportunity to add some oil, playing the part of Wang Mengze, if you will.”
As soon as Shen Lang heard that, he understood.
*So my brother has read* Boundless Wind and Moon *too. He knows about the matchmaker Granny Wang and is using her tricks.*
“Brother, I think you should be the one to continue writing that book, *Boundless Wind and Moon*.”
“I tried to write something like it, but I wasn’t any good.”
“Why not?”
“The book you wrote is far too tame, brother. If I were to continue it, I wouldn’t be able to showcase my full talent.”
Shen Lang was stunned.
*Brother, the version of* Boundless Wind and Moon *I wrote is even more explicit than the original. And you’re saying it’s tame? What were you planning to write? Something like* Crimson Faced Blood*?*
“Don’t tell me you’re the one who wrote *The Amorous History of the East Fence*?”
Yun Mengze jumped in surprise, quickly looking left and right and waving his hands in denial.
“Don’t speak such nonsense. People could be killed for saying things like that.”
“Brother, I’ll be on my way. It seems it will be a long time before we see each other again.”
Now that he had relaxed his mind and body, all that remained was to face the fierce battle ahead. Of course, after that battle, an even greater one would follow.
“I’m a useless man, so I can’t help you, my brother. But from here, I will pray for your great victory.”
He clasped his hands in a salute, and Shen Lang returned the gesture with equal solemnity. Dressed like a beggar, Shen Lang left Yun Mengze’s residence. Outside, Thirteen, who had been waiting, was yawning, while Big Dummy was still full of energy.
“Little Dummy, what happened to your clothes?”
“I got into a fight with someone, and they got torn.”
“Did you fight with Ning Yan?”
Shen Lang was startled.
“How did you know?”
“Ning Yan just came out looking furious. She said the next time she sees you, she’ll definitely beat you to death.”
*Next time? She thinks there’s going to be a next time? In her dreams. Ning Yan, you may be a beautiful tigress, but I’m never touching you again. I can’t handle you.*
As Shen Lang passed by Huang Feng, he faintly heard her mutter, “Scum.”
*I was the one who was wronged! I’m a victim, too. There aren’t many men as pure and faithful as me. No, forget it. Why should I explain myself to an unattractive woman like you? Huang Feng is resentful of the world because of her looks, so as her master, I should be magnanimous and tolerate her.*
In his torn clothes, Shen Lang walked through the streets, his beggar-like appearance drawing everyone’s attention.
“Hey, isn’t that Shen Lang, the one who can’t get it up?”
“Why is he strutting like that? Shaking his head and tail, he looks just like a dog.”
That was the men’s assessment. In contrast, the women’s was as follows:
“He’s so handsome. Even in beggar’s clothes, he’s still so handsome.”
“I think he’d rank among the four most handsome men in the entire capital.”
“That’s right, he’s more beautiful than a woman.”
“What a pity. That he can’t… you know. But the way he walks, shaking his head and tail, he really does look like a dog.”
* * *
They say the tears shed today are for a mind gone astray last night, and the blood spilled is for the deeds of yesterday. Though he appeared carefree on the surface, an indescribably bleak atmosphere was brewing. While many in the capital seemed cheerful, a chill permeated the royal court, as if a storm was about to break. Gaunt and frail, Zhang Chong stood before a mirror, dressing in his official robes. After his imprisonment, the Zhang family had become so poor they couldn’t afford a large mirror, but this one was a gift from Shen Lang.
After dressing, Zhang Chong frowned slightly. The official robes were a bit large. No, it wasn’t that the robes had gotten larger, but that his body had grown thinner and shrunk.
“Father, you’ve been ill and need to rest for at least a month. It’s only been about ten days. Why are you attending the morning court session?”
Zhang Chong didn’t answer. He meticulously placed his official hat on his head and walked toward the door. After a few steps, he felt a wave of dizziness and slowed his pace, closing his eyes for a moment before continuing forward. He boarded his carriage and headed for the royal palace.
As he entered the court, many people approached him, saluting him with clasped hands.
“Elder Chong, why have you come out so early instead of recuperating at home?”
Zhang Chong replied with a smile, “In the past, I rarely attended the morning sessions and was thus ignorant of the world’s affairs. That’s why I couldn’t wait to attend today.”
Every court session was just like this—solemn yet full of life. This was the decorum of high-ranking officials attending court. Even if they were to tear each other apart like madmen moments later, they would exchange pleasantries before the session began. Zhang Chong truly had not attended court often in the past. When he served as the Prefect of Nujiang, his rank in the capital was only the fifth grade, not high enough to qualify for a seat in the main hall. Now, however, he was the Right Grand Master of the Censorate; though he had no real duties, his rank was high.
Su Nan said with a smile, “Lianzhi, do you have a memorial to present to the throne today?”
Lianzhi was Zhang Chong’s courtesy name. Zhang Chong smiled and retorted, “I have one written about Elder Su, but I’m debating whether I should present it.”
“Don’t scare me. This old man has a weak heart.”
A short while later, everyone fell silent. As the King was away, the Crown Prince, who had remained to guard the capital, entered the grand hall and sat beside the throne.
“My Royal Father will be returning to the palace soon. Recently, I have felt as if I were walking on thin ice, trembling with fear. It is thanks to all of you, my lords, that the court has remained peaceful and without incident during my Royal Father’s absence. Today, if possible, I hope we can pass another day of my regency in peace.”
The Crown Prince finished speaking. The entire court acted as if it were completely unaware of the result of the tournament on the border. Yet, everyone knew that the State of Yue had been defeated in the contest between the two kings. Not only had they lost the grand match of letters, but they had also been defeated in the martial contest between cavalry. And it wasn’t just a loss; it was a defeat so miserable it was hard to watch.
But at times like these, the atmosphere in the court had to be made even lighter. When you win, you boast to the heavens and broadcast it to the world. When you lose, you pretend nothing ever happened. Not a single word about the tournament should be mentioned, and no one should show any sign of sadness. Otherwise, wouldn’t it be seen as mocking the King? Nor should anyone show any sign of joy, lest they be seen as delighting in the King’s misfortune.
A eunuch at the side announced in a clear voice, “If any of you lords have a memorial to present, please do so. If not, the court will be adjourned.”
No one had a memorial to present. One must never cause trouble at a time like this. Anyone who stepped forward now might face a fatal disaster, bearing the King’s endless wrath. Having lost the tournament at the border, the King had lost his most cherished possession: his face. Everyone knew the King’s temperament.
When he was displeased, dark clouds would gather over the entire State of Yue, and thunder would roll. What he did best was take out his anger on others. Last time, when the New Deal in Nujiang Prefecture failed, wasn't the atmosphere in the court terrifying? Every official dreaded going to court each day, their heads hung low and their feet dragging. Only after the King had vented all his fury could everyone finally breathe a sigh of relief.
And what was the outcome of the King’s fury last time? Zhang Chong was imprisoned for half a year and nearly died an absurd death. Dozens of officials in Nujiang Prefecture, both high and low, were executed. Nearly a thousand members of the Tang Clan of the Count of Jinhai were killed. Afterward, officials at court were constantly being executed or imprisoned, and over a dozen were dismissed from their posts.
But on the surface, the New Deal in Nujiang Prefecture had been a great success. The Tang Clan, a noble family with a long history, was exterminated, all their fiefs were confiscated, and their military power was eliminated. Furthermore, a new territory, the Raging Waves Archipelago, was gained. If one were to exaggerate this, it was a monumental achievement. A hundred years from now, history books would only record that King Ning Yuanxian had expanded his territory, acquiring the Raging Waves Archipelago and saving a hundred thousand pitiful subjects from across the sea.