The Rascals Expedition
The moment I stepped inside, I saw a large vanity mirror. I'd heard that some people got their makeup done at shops before coming, but others had it done at the broadcasting station. In the center were a sofa and a table, and on top of the table sat all kinds of snacks—cookies, chocolates, candies, the works. It was far more ordinary and quiet than I'd expected. Nothing like the flashy, bustling waiting rooms I'd seen on TV.
Well, that makes sense. Those were being filmed with the celebrity in them.
This wasn't a place where anyone came for interviews, nor was it being shot as an observational variety show. Plus, it was a private waiting room assigned just to me. If it was quiet and cozy, that was only natural.
“This is your personal space for today, Seo-ah. Make yourself comfortable.”
My uncle sat us down on the sofa and pointed to the script on the table.
“This is the script for today’s shoot. You just need to get a rough idea of what we’ll be doing and where we’ll be going.”
There wasn’t much to the script. It only had a brief summary of the filming route and missions. The so-called route was nothing more than notes saying certain studios or conference rooms we hadn’t secured were off-limits. The only thing written in any real detail was the games.
Hyper-reality variety, huh… It felt incredibly ahead of its time. Even variety shows in this era that carried the “reality” label all had scripts. I remembered how, a few years later, leaked scripts caused a huge uproar—people screaming that every program was fake, that it was all staged. After that, it came out that even reality and observational shows used basic scripted frameworks, and everyone just shrugged and moved on.
But the fact that they’d written the games out in detail—was that because I was in the MC position? Considering it was 2007, this felt like a near-revolutionary attempt.
My uncle saw my expression and scratched the back of his head.
“Uh… our main PD has a pretty unique style. He thinks that if you write a script and hand it over, people just act it out, and from that point on it stops being variety. So he only sketches out the big picture and wants to capture things as they really happen. He believes the realism that comes from that is what makes it fun. In a good way, he’s a pioneer… in a bad way, he’s just lazy… Anyway, yeah. Don’t worry about hosting. The other MC will handle everything.”
So in other words… I was just a pretty face, a folding screen, and the boy would do all the actual work?
No matter how rushed the casting was, and no matter how much it relied on my uncle’s pull…
…Isn’t this just perfect?
While I skimmed through the script, Mom and my uncle exchanged casual greetings.
“Are you eating properly?”
“Come on, don’t worry about that. Everyone thinks PDs live on starvation, but the first thing we do when we get to the station is scout for good restaurants.”
With a ten-year age gap, their conversation sounded less like siblings and more like mother and son.
Knock knock—
“Yes, come in.”
“Hello, Seo-ah’s mother. And hello to you too, Seo-ah?”
The person who naturally walked into my waiting room was none other than the main PD, Kim Chul-min. My uncle’s direct superior. To put it nicely, he had a charismatic face. To put it bluntly, he looked like a gangster.
“Wow, now I get why Kang-ho’s been bragging about his niece everywhere. You’re a hundred times prettier in person than in photos. Don’t be nervous today—just think of it as coming to have fun. Got it?”
“Yes! PD-nim!”
“Ma’am, could I speak with you for a moment?”
It didn’t seem like he was trying to flirt with a married woman. He probably had something to say about my appearance and contract.
The moment Kim Chul-min took Mom outside, the staff members poured in. They were wearing clothes that screamed “expedition member” at first glance. They sat me down at the vanity.
“Look at this skin… It’s so soft and smooth.”
“She’s just a kid.”
Since I was young, they didn’t go as far as full makeup. They finished after basic skincare and a layer of sunscreen.
“Let’s go change now. Unnie will help you.”
“…I can change by myself.”
Helping me change clothes? Was this some scheme to humiliate me and sabotage the program?
I took the clothes and changed in the makeshift fitting room set up in the corner of the waiting room. It was crude—just a few partitions put together—but it was still better than going all the way to the bathroom.
“Whoa…”
“So cute…”
The two staff members let out short gasps of admiration when they saw me, then tapped the chair again.
…Again?
It wasn’t over yet? I let out a quiet sigh and sat back down.
Then the two of them started braiding my hair from both sides. Without even asking what style I liked or didn’t like, they just began braiding away. Apparently my opinion didn’t matter, even though it was my own hair.
Well, that made sense. Celebrities were products. Who asks a product for its opinion while displaying it in a showcase?
Sigh…
Pippi Longstocking, huh. I resigned myself and stared blankly at my reflection in the mirror.
One of the staff noticed my expression and chuckled.
“Seo-ah, do you not like the hairstyle? It looks really pretty right now.”
“Seriously. This is the first time I’ve seen pigtails this cute and pretty.”
The other staff member, who had been organizing makeup tools nearby, chimed in. When they first came in, they seemed a bit shy or nervous, but now their voices were full of playfulness.
“But, I’m really sorry—could you smile for unnie just once?”
“…Why?”
“Your smile looks like it’d be super cute. Hehehehe.”
The two of them were watching me like I was a baby kitten.
Don’t you people have work to do?
It was so ridiculous I almost let out a hollow laugh, but—
I was Yoon Seo-ah. A person well-versed in social life and navigating the world.
I met the staff members’ eyes in the mirror and lifted the corners of my mouth into a slight smile.
In that instant, both staff members sucked in a sharp breath at the same time.
“Kyaa! What was that expression just now? It’s too cute!”
“…Seo-ah, do you want to be unnie’s daughter?!”
The two of them got excited and started making a fuss among themselves.
“Aigoo, maybe I like taking care of kids more than looking at idols.”
“…What kind of crazy talk is that? You hate kids.”
“If it was a daughter like Seo-ah, I feel like I could have ten of them.”
Ten daughters? The exclamation slipped out before I could stop it.
“Wow, teacher, you’re really patriotic.”
“Huh? Puhahaha, patriotic, she says.”
“Where did you learn a phrase like that? Eugh! Even the way you talk is cute!”
While we traded silly jokes, my hair was finally done. The preparations were complete.
I took another look at myself in the mirror. Pippi Longstocking braids, a boy scout-style outfit, and a hat like Captain Tim.
So this is what they mean by a good clothes hanger.
I’d thought it would be a pretty terrible mismatch, but I actually liked it. I might even look a little cute.
The staff who had helped with my styling didn’t leave even after they were done; they just kept staring at me. In the meantime, Mom and PD Kim Chul-min returned. Thankfully, the main PD wasn’t some shameless flirt hitting on a married woman—Mom’s expression looked fine. It seemed the practical issues like appearance fees and contract conditions had been resolved in a surprisingly favorable way.
PD Kim Chul-min looked at my finished look and smiled with satisfaction.
“Wow… The clothes really suit you, Seo-ah. Out of all the kids who’ve worn this outfit, you’re the prettiest and cutest by far.”
At his praise, the staff who had done my styling beamed with pride as if it were their own achievement and chimed in.
“Right?! Seo-ah is so pretty! And the way she talks is incredibly cute too.”
“Her tone is kind of chic but charming. I think you cast her really well.”
The styling staff, the main PD, Mom, and even my uncle—everyone turned into complete Yoon Seo-ah fanatics the moment her name came up. The waiting room instantly transformed into my personal fan meeting.
I didn’t exactly hate all the attention pouring in… but it was embarrassing.
I wish this situation would end soon.
That’s what I was thinking, but the fan meeting ended in a slightly different direction.
“You’re saying Kim Su-jin isn’t coming today?”
“Yeah, some new kid named Yoon Seo-ah is filling in as substitute…”
“What kind of nonsense is that?”
From beyond the open waiting room door, down the hallway, someone’s sharp, irritated voice rang out.
“Keep it down a little… People are going to hear, Si-hoo.”
“Who cares if they hear? You’re telling me to do all the hosting alone because you brought in some total rookie who’s never been on air before?”
It wasn’t a familiar voice, but it was clearly a young boy’s. It must have been the male MC I’d be working with today, Park Si-hoo.
Everyone in the waiting room went silent at once. All eyes turned toward the door.
The voice from the hallway grew sharper and sharper.
“I have another schedule after we finish today. What if I waste all my energy here and then keep messing up my lines over there? That’s why I said I wouldn’t do kids’ variety in the first place.”
As the voice grew louder, the atmosphere in the waiting room turned ice-cold. The staff members who had been gushing over how cute I was now wore stiff expressions. Mom fidgeted anxiously, glancing at me. My uncle’s brow began to twitch. And the smile completely vanished from PD Kim Chul-min’s face.
“I’m sorry, Seo-ah. I apologize, ma’am. I’ll go out and have a word with him.”
Even if he scolded the male cast member here… wouldn’t it just make the filming atmosphere awkward?
The moment PD Kim Chul-min tried to head toward the hallway, I grabbed my uncle’s sleeve.
“PD Uncle.”
“Y-yes? Seo-ah?”
Kim Chul-min looked down at me with a flustered expression. It was obvious he was worried I might have been hurt.
I let out a small chuckle as if it were nothing.
“You can just leave him be.”
“…Huh?”
“Anyway, if I do well, he won’t be able to say anything.”
At my calm remark, everyone in the waiting room froze mid-motion.
Shit. I went and said it out loud.
I’d never even stood in front of a camera before—what did I mean, “do well”? And this program didn’t even have a proper script. It meant that no matter how hard a broadcasting rookie with zero experience tried, there was no way I could actually do well.
I was eight years old—an impulsive age where emotional control wasn’t exactly reliable. On top of that, a rude little brat had been poking at me, and this was the accidental result.
Not just Mom and my uncle, who had been worried I might be hurt, but even PD Kim Chul-min and the staff—who must have seen it all—were now looking at me with eyes full of admiration.
My brain, which had been struggling to figure out how to handle this, reached a conclusion.
Well… I’m screwed.
I peeled open a chocolate and ate it with deliberate flair, smiling at the adults.
“It’s fine. The boys in my class do that all the time.”
The fact that my hands were trembling was a secret only I knew.