Celebrity Disease
The internet was slowly beginning to heat up with Yoon Seo-ah's name.
The internet in 2002 was slow, but it was reacting with absolute certainty. Across various community sites, cafes, and mini-homepages, Yoon Seo-ah's name was steadily spreading through word of mouth. And of course, the Rascals Expedition viewer bulletin board was in total chaos.
Kim Su-jin bit her lip as she stared at the monitor. Every single post drove into her chest like a dagger. It hadn't even been that long since she'd left the show, yet not one person mentioned her name. The moment Yoon Seo-ah joined, the flood of praise poured in as if they'd been waiting for it. She even felt a sense of betrayal.
She tried to console herself as she turned off the computer, but the anxiety refused to settle easily.
“Waaaaah! Our daughter is the best!”
Dad was shouting cheers in front of the TV. Mom was wiping away tears, overwhelmed with emotion.
“How can she speak so well in front of people without shaking at all?”
“No kidding. Our Seo-ah has become a real celebrity!”
I lay on the sofa, accepting the fruit my parents kept bringing me, and answered calmly.
“Come on, it’s not that big a deal. The editing team just did a great job.”
“When you were eating the sundae earlier, the production crew couldn’t handle how cute you were!”
“I’m not cute because I want to be. I was just born this way.”
Since I was in an exceptionally good mood, I even threw in a bit of aegyo. The pinnacle of filial piety. A model K-daughter. The very definition of a dutiful daughter. If this were the Joseon era, I’d be at the level to receive a filial piety monument.
“What? Puhahaha! That’s right, you really were born cute.”
Mom and Dad were laughing so hard they were about to burst. Yoon Ji-ah, completely ignoring them, tapped away at her laptop beside us.
Tap. Tap-tap. Tap.
It was the secret signal Yoon Ji-ah had created for us to talk privately. We usually exchanged it when we needed to discuss matters from our past lives.
“What is it?” I asked in a voice low enough that our TV-absorbed parents wouldn’t hear.
“Even though this is an era without YouTube or Starstar… it’s still going to get tiring. Be careful.”
“…Come on, no matter what, it’s just a children’s variety show and I only appeared once. If there were things like YouTube and Starstar like you said, maybe, but.”
“Believe it or don’t, it’s up to you… Just practice your autograph in advance.”
“…I don’t have one.”
To be exact, the autograph from my past life existed. But that was written with my previous name, not Yoon Seo-ah’s.
“I’ll make one for you. Something that feels like an elementary schooler’s but isn’t tacky.”
Yoon Ji-ah opened her notebook and whipped up an autograph right there on the spot. She scribbled my initials with a flourish and finished it off with a star shape. It was simple yet cute. Even I had to admit it looked pretty good.
Right then, Dad’s flip phone rang loudly.
“Ah, yes! Director!”
Dad’s voice rose with excitement. He usually called Kim Chul-min “PD,” so this had to be Director Lee Jung-moon. I couldn’t make out the exact words, but the director’s hearty laughter boomed through the receiver.
“Hahaha, you’re too kind. Seo-ah said she just went and had fun.”
“Yes, understood. Thank you.”
After hanging up, Dad scooped me up high.
“The director is going crazy too! He said thanks to you the drama is getting great promotional buzz. He’s extremely pleased.”
“Ugh, put me dowwwwwwwwwn!”
I flailed against the gravitational force Dad had created. I struggled, screamed, and eventually burst into giggles. Only then did Dad, looking thoroughly satisfied, set me down. Entertaining my immature father was truly exhausting work.
Anyway. My first variety show debut: a success. The dream of becoming a rich unemployed person would have to wait. It looked like I’d soon be living the life of a superstar.
I doodled the autograph Yoon Ji-ah had made for me in my practice notebook. I wondered how many I’d end up signing at school. I hated the thought of my arm aching.
Time flowed on until Monday morning. My steps toward school felt heavy. Or maybe they were excited steps. Normally I would have headed to school without a second thought, but Yoon Ji-ah’s single comment about things getting tiring had left me strangely buoyant.
How would the little kids see me now? Would they treat me like a celebrity? Or would they still see me as that cold, elegant, hard-to-approach city girl like before?
It would probably be difficult to treat me the same. From a fan’s perspective, they’d have no choice but to look at me like a star.
“I’m off!”
“Have a good day!”
“Okay, both of you be careful!”
I got out of the car after Mom’s farewell. As I walked from right in front of the school gate, my eyes met a boy playing soccer on the field.
Yes. It starts with you.
I reached into my pocket for the pen I’d prepared in advance, but—
“Hey! Kid! Over there! Pass the ball!”
“…Huh?”
“What are you doing! Kick it over here!”
I slipped the half-drawn pen back into my pocket and kicked the ball over as if nothing had happened.
“Thanks!”
The boy dribbled the ball and sprinted off.
What was that? It felt like getting rejected before I even confessed.
Still… even before I appeared on TV, the kids playing soccer would stop and stare at me. Maybe today’s match was especially important.
I consoled myself and headed into the school building. I could hear the kids on their way to class whispering.
“Hey, isn’t that Yoon Seo-ah?”
“It is! It’s her! From Rascals Expedition!”
“Wow, she’s even prettier than on TV.”
Yes. This was it. This was the life of a celebrity. Superstar life. The existence of a celeb.
I was savoring my popularity as one of the cool kids when Yoon Ji-ah poured cold water all over it.
“Really? It seems like they just changed a few lines.”
She was right. We had already been famous at school before this.
‘Isn’t that Yoon Seo-ah and Yoon Ji-ah?’
‘Yeah! Those twins!’
‘Wow… they’re even prettier than I heard.’
That was the usual reaction we got at school.
“Before, people were just curious about the pretty twins. Now they’re curious about the celebrity Yoon Seo-ah. It’s different,” Yoon Ji-ah said with a shrug as she walked ahead.
I pouted at her back. Just wait. The moment we enter the classroom, it’s going to be chaos.
But my prediction was shattered the instant I opened the classroom door.
“Hi, Seo-ah!”
“It’s Yoon Seo-ah!”
That was all. The kids gave me a brief glance before diving straight back into their games of flipping cards and jacks.
Even my desk mate, Min-su—
“Hey, Yoon Seo-ah, did you do the homework? Let me copy.”
—was sniffling and whining for my homework.
This was… being a celebrity? This was… a celeb? This was… a superstar?
I’d been worried my arm would hurt from signing so many autographs. I never expected my heart would hurt from not signing a single one.
“…What is this? Don’t kids these days watch TV?”
I tossed the question into the air, dumbfounded. Min-su wiped his nose and stared at me blankly.
“Ah, you were on TV? I saw it. But you ate that sundae really well. I nagged my mom because I wanted some too.”
“That’s it? No ‘please give me your autograph,’ or ‘it’s an honor to be desk mates with a celebrity,’ or ‘from now on I’ll serve you as my queen’? Nothing?”
“…What are you talking about, you mafia wife.”
Since Min-su looked hungry, I gave him a light knuckle to the crown of his head.
Something felt off. Ji-ah had definitely said it would get tiring from now on.
I was about to explain the situation to Yoon Ji-ah and ask what was going on when the girls sitting behind me spoke up.
“Seo-ah, your hair looks pretty. The pigtails you wore on TV were cute too.”
“Right! Does your mom do it for you? I wish my mom would learn how.”
“…Actually Dad does it for me when I come to school, but that’s not the point.”
Was the conversation topic really my hairstyle instead of my debut in the entertainment industry?
To these little kids, I was still just their classmate Yoon Seo-ah. Even if a friend they saw every day became a celebrity, their reaction was basically ‘Oh, cool. So what’s for lunch today?’
Being too close probably killed any sense of mystery. Now I understood why Ji-ah had shrugged and smirked at me.
When we first started school, the entire elementary school had been flipped upside down. But now it was just ‘Oh, it’s Yoon Seo-ah’ or ‘Oh, those twins’ and that was the end of it. To the kids who had already grown used to us, I wasn’t anything particularly special.
“Alright, everyone quiet down. Return to your seats.”
The homeroom teacher entered. She looked at me and smiled warmly.
“Seo-ah, I saw the broadcast. We have a star in our class now.”
“Thank you, teacher.”
I thought someone who actually recognized me had finally appeared.
“But did you finish your homework?”
“No?”
“Why do you sound so confident? Go stand in the back with your hands up.”
“…Ugh.”
There was no mercy. I trudged to the back of the classroom. The kids giggled. My desk mate Min-su giggled too.
“Oh, Min-su! You’re laughing, so I guess you did your homework?”
“No? I just felt like laughing.”
“…You go to the back too.”
“Yes!”
Min-su stood beside me, hands raised, still giggling. I couldn’t tell if he was positive, stupid, or just optimistic.
“Min-su, why didn’t you do your homework?”
“I was reading comics. You?”
“Same.”
I could have used the excuse that I was busy filming, but that wouldn’t be very manly. I’d had far more free time at home. We looked at each other and smirked.
Could standing for punishment together after skipping homework be considered the bond of comrades who had overcome hardship together? True friendship is completed not when raising a glass to success, but when sharing the bitter cup of failure. If that was the case, Min-su and I had already reached the completion of friendship.
Which meant we were close enough for me to share the worries inside me.
“Did you watch Rascals Expedition or not?”
“I did?”
“Then why is your reaction so lukewarm?”
“…What is this mafia wife saying now?”
As expected. I smirked and looked out the window.
Actually, this was for the best. If the kids had followed me around at school begging for autographs and making a fuss, it would have been exhausting. Being first-grader Yoon Seo-ah was better than celebrity Yoon Seo-ah. Just Yoon Seo-ah who ate well and slept well was enough.
Yoon Seo-ah was simply Yoon Seo-ah.
I had almost caught the celebrity disease.
If it weren’t for my incredible mentality, maintaining my composure wouldn’t have been easy. So this is why people say the entertainment industry is so scary. I’m not rationalizing at all. It’s the truth.