Chapter 59
Chapter 59
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 59
Chapter Title: [Secret Clinic] Royal Physician (2)
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“You bastard! What have you done to Her Majesty the Queen?!”
The Lead State Councillor’s thunderous roar.
His face was flushed purple with rage, on the verge of exploding, and the expressions of the high officials trailing behind him were twisted in shock and fury.
“Th-this foul stench...!”
“Isn’t that the fishy smell that lingers after a man and woman have consummated their passion?!”
“Look at the floor! Those soaked fluids and the tangled bedding... This isn’t treatment—it’s a scene of violation!”
“Seize that bastard immediately! Right now!”
At the Lead State Councillor’s shout, the Royal Guard soldiers flinched, spears at the ready as they encircled me, their blades gleaming with murderous intent.
Some had been subdued by me before, but fueled by loyalty, not one showed fear.
The eunuch who’d told them to trample my corpse if needed, the soldiers too—they looked damn cool, like something out of a historical drama.
Are all historical dramas like this?
“Taoist... Wh-what in the world is this? Surely you haven’t... betrayed Our trust...”
The King of Joseon stared at me in disbelief, as if he couldn’t fathom it.
I could see the trust he’d placed in me crumbling in his eyes, replaced by deep betrayal.
For the record, I only learned the king’s name because the queen occasionally moaned it during sex.
The stern old Censor-in-Chief stepped forward, veins bulging on his neck.
“Your Majesty! Behold this horrific sight! He’s dared to leave hideous marks on Her Majesty’s sacred body and defiled the holy bedchamber with lewd odors! This villain must have used some vile sorcery to dishonor her!”
“Indeed! We must drag this wretch to the Office of Investigation and open a full inquiry!”
“His head should be struck off and hung in the public square!”
The officials pointed accusing fingers, their voices rising in clamor.
Regardless of possibility, it wouldn’t be strange if an order came any second to lop off that bastard’s head.
But I didn’t bat an eye, snorting derisively as I swept a pitiful gaze over those surrounding me.
A surge of energy welled up from deep in my gut, enveloping my body.
Shamelessness.
Thick-skinned audacity.
And the unshakable conviction that my words were truth itself.
This was crucial.
All of it bolstered my [Deception] skill.
And atop that layered the newly acquired [Royal Physician] trait.
The most vital part right now was the third effect.
Physician’s Authority.
‘Ryoiki Tenkai: Royal Physician.’
I silently recited the unnecessary incantation in my mind.
“How foolish.”
My low voice cut through the chaos, carrying an overwhelming force that dominated the room.
The invisible authority in my words and demeanor began influencing the space around us.
The Lead State Councillor bellowed.
“Wh-what? Did you just call us foolish?!”
“Indeed. To be swayed by surface appearances and a piercing stench, blind to the truth beyond—can you still claim to govern a nation?”
“You insolent wretch! You dare make excuses after witnessing that outrage?! Don’t you see those traces?!”
“I see them. Quite clearly. But in your eyes, do those look like marks of lewd fornication? To me, they appear as the scars of a brutal struggle.”
“Struggle?! How in the world?!”
“Your Majesty. What did I tell you before entering? It was a perilous rite teetering between life and death. Did you think purging the vile curse entrenched in Her Majesty’s bones, along with the chill that tormented her for life, would be some elegant, beautiful affair?”
My words shifted focus to the king, and the betrayal clouding his face twisted into confusion.
The trait’s authority worked strongest on him.
“Consider this: when rotten flesh is cut away, pus flows and stench fills the air. How much more so when drawing out decades-old poison from a human body? Would fragrant perfume emerge?”
“Th-that’s...”
“What do you take those fluids for?”
I pointed to the mingled mess of my semen and the queen’s squirted juices pooled around the chamber and soaked into the bed.
“Traces of man and woman coupling? Absurd! Those are the frigid toxins, deeply embedded in Her Majesty’s bones, melting upon contact with my vital yang energy and expelled as pus.”
Even I knew it was a stretch.
Palm to the sky, pure deception.
But in this moment, it would land.
It had to land here.
“Frigid toxins... and pus...?”
“Yes. Had that poison remained, Her Majesty wouldn’t have survived the month. For three days and nights, without a sip of water, I poured my life force into her as yang energy, melting that venom and dragging it out.”
“Th-then... what of those red marks on Her Majesty’s body? Anyone can see they’re... kiss marks! How dare you on the queen’s sacred form...!”
One official pointed to the queen’s exposed neck beyond the covers.
Tsking at the sight of the kiss marks, I scolded him.
“Tsk tsk. Surely you don’t claim ignorance of cupping therapy?”
“C-cupping?”
“The toxins coursed through her veins, unreachable by needles or herbs. So I drew them to the surface with my own qi. Concentrating power in my fingertips, pressing clustered poison points, infusing qi to disperse it—that left those blood blister traces!”
Then I raised my voice in rebuke.
“To mistake those for lascivious kisses—what, is your head filled only with filthy stallions?!”
“Gasp...”
The officials began murmuring.
It sounded implausible, yet doubt crept into their faces.
“Think: if I harbored ill intent to violate her, could I endure three days and nights? Would a man chasing carnal pleasure forgo food and water for three days? I may be a Taoist, but I’m flesh and blood. Even to a master, it’s impossible.”
“Ah...!”
The officials stirred.
Expressions of “that makes sense.”
No man, no matter how virile, could fuck nonstop for three days without food or water.
It defied human limits.
Even ancient tales of Taoists showed it: they wielded mystic arts post-mortem, but being of flesh, some died from the strain.
I framed it as that realm.
The trust built as Taoist Yi Gildong.
The [Deception] skill, freshly D-rank.
The [Royal Physician] trait’s authority.
And pointing out the sheer impossibility.
These four intertwined perfectly, turning nonsense into truth.
“Had I known it’d come to this, I’d have retreated to the mountains to cultivate. I risked my life to save hers, only to be demanded gratitude like a beggar. How hollow, how utterly hollow.”
“N-no, Taoist! Our Majesty momentarily lost his senses and misspoke! Forgive us!”
“But Your Majesty, it’s not yet certain.”
The nitpicking Censor-in-Chief clung on.
“If his words are true, why is Her Majesty still unconscious?! What if... something’s gone wrong...”
Just let it slide already.
Clueless old geezer.
Fine.
I needed a finishing blow anyway.
“A hundred words yield less than one sight. Summon the chief physician. Let him behold Her Majesty’s face and take her pulse. See if my claims are lies or truth.”
At the king’s command, the waiting chief physician approached the bedside.
Cautiously lifting the covers to check her face, he gasped.
“...Ah!”
A cry of awe escaped the chief physician.
Three days ago, her face had been deathly pale, fragile as if it’d crumble.
But now?
Her hair disheveled and sweat-damp, yet her cheeks bloomed with peach-flower radiance.
Her chest rose and fell in steady rhythm, deep breaths flowing. The furrowed brow, once etched in pain, was smooth and serene.
She slumbered deeply and sweetly; her skin gleamed with luster, making her look even younger.
The chief physician grasped her wrist, checked her pulse, and muttered in bewilderment.
“Th-this can’t be...”
“What is it?! Speak!”
“Your Majesty! A miracle! A true miracle! Her Majesty’s pulse races like a galloping steed! Warm energy overflows her organs! She’s... more robust now than in the girlhood I’ve watched over!”
“Truly? Her illness is truly cured?”
“Yes, Your Majesty! Complete recovery! A pulse beyond any medical text!”
At the physician’s affirmation, the king gently caressed the queen’s cheek, the face of his beloved.
Once icy cold, it now radiated warmth.
Tears welled in the king’s eyes at that heat, streaming down his cheeks.
“Warm... Her Majesty’s body... is warm...”
“Your Majesty?”
“Look! All of you, come see! Her Majesty’s complexion! In my life, I’ve never seen such vibrant color on her face!”
At the king’s cry, the officials rushed forward.
“Ooh... It’s true! The pallor has flushed with life!”
“Her breathing’s even, her pulse visible to the naked eye!”
“Truly... has the poison been purged, vitality restored, as the Taoist said?”
Game over.
Chilly suspicion had long turned to awe and admiration.
The Censor-in-Chief, glaring like he wanted me dead moments ago, now watched with conflicted expression. The Royal Guards lowered spears and bowed.
The trait seemed stronger on higher ranks; some soldiers still looked skeptical.
Who cares.
When the bigwigs buy it wholesale, what can the grunts do but shrug?
The king, overcome, clasped the queen’s hand, tears flowing, then sprang up and approached me.
“Taoist...! We... We committed a grave error. Blind to your profound intent, We judged by appearances alone. How shall We repay this grace...?”
“Forgive us! In our ignorance, we failed to recognize your divine powers!”
“We deserve death for our crime!”
The officials prostrated themselves.
“Ahem.”
I cleared my throat once, seizing the mood one last time.
Polish the finish.
“Your Majesty, rise. It’s natural for laymen to doubt the arcane arts. No blame. However, the rite was intense; Her Majesty is exhausted. Upon waking, she’ll hunger and thirst—prepare clear water and thin rice porridge. A few days’ rest, and she’ll be healthier than ever.”
“Understood! I’ll order the royal kitchens to prepare the finest porridge at once!”
The king wiped tears in gratitude.
“Taoist, what do you desire? A title? Riches? I’d empty the treasury for you!”
The king’s blank check for anything.
But I’m Taoist Yi Gildong.
Must uphold the transcendent, desireless image.
Don’t ruin it at the end with...
[Time of heroes! Bring booze and broads!!]
That’d tank my cred.
“Your Majesty, this one seeks neither office nor wealth.”
“Then?”
“Her Majesty’s recovery suffices.”
Sticking around for rewards would complicate things.
What happens when she wakes?
She knows.
This was treatment laced with lovemaking.
She’d confessed love for me by the end, body and soul conquered.
She wouldn’t harm me, but a three-way with the king? Awkward.
She’d ache; watching that wouldn’t sit well with a good guy like me.
Better to bow out.
“B-but... We can’t just let you go...”
“If fate wills, we’ll meet again. Coming like the wind, leaving like the wind—isn’t that the Taoist way?”
I adjusted my bamboo hat, robes billowing, and exited the chamber gracefully.
Oozing cool, max swagger.
Ah, wanna bang the Winter Princess.