Chapter 52
Chapter 52
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 52
Chapter Title: [Secret Clinic] Treating Her Majesty the Queen (2)
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A fingernail-thin crescent moon hung in the night sky, shining brilliantly.
I stood confidently before the main gate of Changdeok Palace, Donhwa Gate.
Black plain clothes and a wide-brimmed bamboo hat.
The signature outfit of Taoist Yi Gil-dong.
The wind billowed my robes, and even I had to admit it looked pretty damn cool.
'I've always snuck in by scaling the walls before, but no need for that this time.'
Who am I?
The shadow power who exposed the treason and saved the queen's life.
A man of my stature shouldn't have to slink over walls like some stray cat.
"Halt! Who goes there!"
The gate guards blocked the way, crossing their spears diagonally—what we'd call an X in modern terms.
Right after arresting the Chief State Councillor, their eyes were fierce as hell.
"I've come to see Your Highness."
"What? Who dares visit at this late hour! Do you have a pass?"
"Go in and announce it. The Taoist Yi Gil-dong has arrived."
"Taoist!"
"Yi Gil-dong...?"
The guards recoiled in surprise.
Rumors must have spread like wildfire through the palace already.
Makes sense—I'd appeared before the king, subdued the Inner Palace Guard soldiers in an instant, and handed over proof of the treason.
"A-are you... really that Taoist Yi Gil-dong...?"
"That's right. His Highness must be waiting anxiously—do you plan to keep me waiting at the gate like this?"
"N-no, sir! Please wait just a moment! I'll notify the chief eunuch right away!"
Moments later, the heavy doors of Donhwa Gate creaked open.
And from within rushed out a familiar old eunuch, Elder Sang-seon, barefoot.
The same one who'd told me to step over his corpse.
"His Highness has been waiting so long! Please, come in, hurry!"
"Clear the way! The Taoist is entering!"
At the eunuch's shout, the lined-up palace guards bowed in unison.
'Ahh, this is the stuff.'
Just days ago, I was a sneaking thief hopping walls.
Now, the king's honored guest.
I strolled leisurely through the ranks of soldiers bowing and parting, hands clasped behind my back.
The sweet taste of power.
This is why they crave it so.
The audience hall I was led into had a grim atmosphere.
The king of Joseon wasn't seated on his throne but slumped on the floor, clutching his head—a pitiful sight for the realm's sovereign, his illness plain as day.
His pale face looked even worse than that morning, no doubt from the shock of betrayal by his trusted father-in-law.
Scattered around him were the shattered remnants of a wooden box—the very one I'd had Cheonbong hide in the Chief State Councillor's house.
Its contents, [Divine Elixir: Pungyang Pill], had become part of my gut, leaving it an empty shell.
"Your Highness, the Taoist Yi Gil-dong has arrived."
At Elder Sang-seon's words, the king snapped his head up.
"Taoist! Oh, Taoist! I've been waiting for you! You've come at last—truly, you've come!"
"This humble Yi Gil-dong greets Your Highness."
"Raise your head. You cannot know how desperately I sought you. Without you, I would have remained blind and deaf, toyed with in the hands of treacherous ministers."
"You overpraise me, Your Highness. I merely followed heaven's will."
"Heaven's will... Yes, a true Taoist would. That detachment from worldly affairs—you embody the sages from the tales."
"More importantly, Your Highness, why do you look so haggard?"
I knew full well, but played dumb and asked anyway.
The king couldn't hide his grief, tears streaming as he pointed a trembling hand at the box shards on the floor.
"Look at that. I unleashed the palace guard to tear through traitor Choi Man-su's house and finally recovered the stolen royal treasure. But... but...! The box was empty! The bodies of the four divine beasts that should have been inside... the only hope for curing the queen's illness, those precious ingredients—all gone!"
"Ah..."
Of course.
They'd been in my stomach for ages.
"That's not all, Taoist. In truth, I witnessed something that boils my blood."
"What enraging matter do you speak of?"
"In that traitor's house, along with the box, we found something vile. A curse doll made with sorcery from the Ye Kingdom."
Ye Kingdom?
Where the hell was that?
Never heard of it in my historical knowledge.
Couldn't admit ignorance, though.
"Sorcery of the Ye Kingdom..."
"Yes. Those island barbarians who constantly raid our coasts. To think they'd dare such things on Joseon soil...!"
I nodded gravely, feigning concern, and he spilled the rest.
Island nation, raiders, barbarians—had to be Japan.
In this world, they called it Ye instead of Wa. Lazy world-building by the author, probably.
"Those wicked pirates!"
"Even worse! In the Chief State Councillor's house, we found heaps of profane dolls inscribed with the queen's birth details, made with their sorcery. And evidence he'd hired a shaman from the southern provinces to cast the spells. The shaman performed a rite to devour her lifespan."
The king trembled with rage.
"Sent flesh-flying curses," he said.
I recalled the talisman on the door from earlier.
[One, dared to curse the assassination of the queen mother.]
I'd thought it just petty superstition, but the superstitious Chief State Councillor must have gone all in.
Who actually believes that crap?
Then a realization hit me.
'Hold on...'
This wasn't some plain Joseon historical drama.
I thought of the ingredients that had vanished into my gut.
Kirin horn, phoenix feather, spirit turtle shell, dragon tears.
Legendary divine beasts that actually existed, their parts turned S-rank items that massively boosted my dick size.
I'd forgotten this world blended fantasy into the drama.
Which meant...
'If divine beasts are real, why not shamans or sorcery?'
The shaman's curses and Ye Kingdom spells might actually work.
The queen's illness could be her innate excess yin constitution plus real curses.
'Perfect.'
It solidified my justification for treatment.
A mere illness? Doctors handle that. But curses? Time for a Taoist.
Not a real one, but whatever.
"As I suspected. That wicked sorcery is devouring Her Majesty's sacred body. The Ye Kingdom's insidious yin energy gnaws at her yang, while the shaman's curses block her meridians."
"Wh-what...! What can be done? Even the royal physicians are helpless, and we've summoned the realm's best healers to no avail..."
"I shall... treat Her Majesty's illness. Sorcery must be countered with Taoist arts."
"Oh! Truly? Thank you, Taoist! Truly, thank you!"
The king seized my hands.
His eyes dripped with desperation.
Now the stage was set.
The key was creating a private chamber.
I was about to fuck the queen senseless—no onlookers allowed.
"Understood. But I have one request."
"Speak. I'll grant anything."
"The treatment must be conducted in utmost secrecy. During the rite to expel yin and infuse yang, no one must disturb us."
"Of course. I'll pull back the Inner Palace Guards—no one will approach."
"That's not enough. Even Your Highness must not enter."
"Just the two of us? Why must it be so?"
"Do you know the tale of Zhuge Kongming?"
"Zhuge Kongming... the prime minister of Shu?"
"Yes. In his final years, he prayed to extend his life. But at the crucial moment, the rite failed. What I'm about to perform is similar: a perilous ritual gathering heaven and earth's yang to breathe into Her Majesty's body, teetering between life and death. If someone opens the door mid-rite and scatters the qi..."
"...The queen dies?"
"If death is the worst, we'd be fortunate. The backlash could make the qi explode and blow the entire palace sky-high."
I exaggerated to scare him off.
That way, he'd never barge in.
But the king tilted his head.
"Taoist... Isn't Zhuge Liang's tale from the Romance? I heard it's fiction from the novel, not true history from the annals. Is it real?"
'...?'
Second mind-blowing moment after Ye Kingdom.
What the hell?
Romance? True history separate?
Wasn't Romance of the Three Kingdoms just the old tale with Liu Bei, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei?
Didn't know it had a novel version and separate 'annals' version.
'News to me.'
This guy must be book-smart as king.
But I couldn't falter here.
I was Taoist Yi Gil-dong.
Admitting ignorance kills the mystique.
Luckily, I had the skill to bluff through: [Deception].
D-rank right off the bat from achievements.
'Effect amps up with shamelessness, right?'
I gathered my thoughts and spoke.
"Indeed, Your Highness. The world's truths aren't confined to books. What we dismiss as novels may hold reality, and histories we trust may be victors' lies. As I cultivated the Tao and read the heavens, the stars trembled that day."
"I-is that so?"
"Yes. Kongming's arts were real. Many tales passed down are truths disguised as fiction—mortals unable to grasp Taoist mysteries, dismissed by later generations as novels."
"Ah... I see. I was ignorant. You speak true, Taoist. No room for carelessness when lives hang in balance. Very well. It shall be done. I'll issue the order myself."
The king nodded in admiration.
Damn, it worked.
Magic skill turning bullshit profound.
[Deception] might be better than I thought.
"I am deeply grateful, Your Highness."
"Listen up! Seal off the perimeter of Gotaejon immediately! Until the Taoist emerges, no one—not even I—shall open those doors! This is my imperial command!"
"Yes, Your Highness!"
The eunuchs and guards moved with crisp precision.
Now I could legally enjoy a secret rendezvous with Her Majesty.
* * *
Gotaejon, the queen's official bedchamber where Joseon's queens reside.
By the king's strict order, the senior ladies and maids had all withdrawn.
Just me and the queen in the room.
The stifling heat carried scents of herbs mingled with a sweet feminine aroma.
"Taoist... that's what they call you?"
The queen, lying on the bed, struggled to prop herself up and spoke.
Pale face, delicate frame.
Her illness was evident, yet her beauty held a mystical allure.
Like a plum blossom blooming in the snow—poised and ethereal.
Being the king's wife... she was fucking gorgeous.
"Yes, Your Majesty. Yi Gil-dong."
"Since His Highness entrusted you, I believe you'll heal me."
"Worry not. I'll stake my life on it. Now... if you'll excuse me for the pulse diagnosis."
I sat close to the bed, preparing to activate [God's Hand] and [Massage], and extended my hand.
"Your Majesty, might you remove your top? I must examine your dantian's qi..."
At that moment.
The queen dodged my hand, pulling back as she said,
"Stop."
She clutched her collar tight, glaring at me. Her weakened body betrayed frailty, but her eyes burned with regal sharpness.
"Undress? Before a strange man. Here in the sacred palace. I am the queen of the realm. Even a so-called healer Taoist cannot see my skin."
"Your Majesty, this is treatment. We cannot observe distinctions of man and woman before a physician."
"Treatment or not, no. Take my pulse over the clothes."
"Over clothes, I cannot read the qi accurately. Especially with your curse-inflicted illness—we need skin-to-skin to infuse qi directly."
"Then I refuse treatment."
"Your life hangs in the balance. You won't last days like this."
"I know. But my body belongs to His Highness. That is palace law, the chastity I owe him. Now leave!"
"Well..."
Her unexpectedly firm refusal left me flustered.