Chapter 50
Chapter 50
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 50
Chapter Title: [Secret Clinic] Killing the Chief State Councillor (2)
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Buyongjeong.
The picturesque pavilion floating in the middle of the pond in the rear garden of Changdeok Palace.
A man was climbing up to it.
Judging by his red dragon robe and ikseon crown, anyone could tell he was this kingdom's sovereign.
In other words, the King of Joseon.
But his condition looked downright awful.
"Cough, cough."
Even without enhancing my hearing, his hacking coughs reached me from a distance.
His skin was pallid, his body gaunt as a chopstick—like he'd pasted a sign on his forehead saying, I'm frail and sickly.
"Your Highness, the wind is quite chilly today. It might chill your royal body. Please return to the palace."
An elderly eunuch fretted beside him, trying to dissuade the king.
But the king shook his head stubbornly.
"No. Staying cooped up in the palace only makes my chest feel stuffy and my illness worse."
"Your Highness, your complexion is ashen."
"The physician said the same. A moderate walk aids circulation and clears the blockages. I know my own body. Walking actually perks me up."
"However..."
"Enough nagging. I just need to clear my head for a bit."
The king waved him off and leaned against the pavilion railing.
He'd insisted a walk was good for his health, but it was clear his stamina had bottomed out.
Pallid complexion, bloodless lips.
He looked utterly listless and feeble overall.
Like a flower on the verge of wilting.
What's his name again?
Did the king even appear in the original smut comic?
I think he was just mentioned in a few lines or as background. Never got a proper face shot.
Honestly, who memorizes side male characters' names and backstories while reading porn?
Well, looking at him now, I get it. No wonder the queen was still a virgin.
In the original, the queen had been married for years but remained untouched.
I thought it was just smut logic, but with a husband this scrawny, how could he perform?
Sex in that state? He'd drop dead from a heart attack, not some dramatic death in bed.
Doubt he could even get it up.
When my fake master treated the queen, he mentioned her overflowing yin energy and deficient yang.
All because of this weak constitution.
So the queen ended up celibate, her excess yin building up into illness.
And canonically, she was born with overabundant yin.
Poor woman. A perfectly healthy girl ruined by a dud husband, wasting away from pent-up energy.
Not really the king's fault, though.
This guy's pitiful too.
Being king and unable to get laid? Tragic.
With that frailty, he probably can't even eat properly or go out for fun.
No joys in life at all.
No joys.
The Inner Royal Guard soldiers patrolling nearby withdrew below the pavilion to stand watch, leaving only the elderly eunuch at the king's side.
Anyway...
Where the hell did Cheonbong hide the evidence?
I told him to put it where the king could see it easily.
Where is it?
After searching forever, I finally spotted it: wedged cunningly into a gap in the rafters under the Buyongjeong roof's eaves.
"...Ha."
A sigh escaped me.
Is this guy insane?
Who hides shit like that?
Damn it, Cheonbong, you idiot.
Couldn't shake his thief habits—hid it like buried treasure.
I said hide it, not play scavenger hunt.
How's the king supposed to find that?
Cheonbong, you're dead later.
We're screwed.
Odds of the king finding it? Zero.
Should I chuck a rock to knock it down?
That'd just get me spotted and complicate things.
Did my desperate telepathy work?
The king tilted his head back, maybe stretching, and his gaze drifted to the eaves.
"Hm...?"
His eyes narrowed.
He found it.
"Sangseon, what's that over there?"
"Pardon? What do you mean, Your Highness?"
"There in the rafter gap... Doesn't something white like paper look wedged in?"
The king pointed at the rafters. Only then did the eunuch and guards look up.
"Oh, you're right."
"Probably a bird nesting. I'll have it removed, Your Highness."
"No. It looks like something written on it."
The king stood, curiosity piqued, and stretched on tiptoes to reach.
Luckily, the ceiling wasn't too high—just within arm's length.
The contents would shock him senseless.
Proof the Chief State Councillor was plotting treason.
Once he read it, the bastard was done. I'd just munch popcorn.
The king's slender fingers snagged the paper's edge.
Swish.
The bundle slid free from the rafters.
Whoosh—!
Then a sudden gust whipped up.
A damp, fierce wind blowing across the pond.
Flutter.
"Huh?"
The wind snatched the paper from the king's grasp.
It swirled into the air, dancing mockingly.
How weak do your hands have to be to drop it like that?
"Th-that!"
"Ah, hey! That thing!"
"Grab it! It's flying away!"
The eunuchs stomped in panic, guards lunged—but it was out of reach.
The white bundle fluttered toward the pond's center.
Aw, fuck.
Game over.
If it hits the water?
Ink smears, text gone, evidence fish food.
Just watch it sink?
Wait for another shot?
But...
To get [Royal Physician], I need to expose the mastermind. No evidence, no dice.
Torture the Chief State Councillor myself?
Just assault him and force a confession? I'd look like a lunatic.
No choice.
Thwack!
I kicked off a tree and leaped.
Soaring over the pond, I stretched for the plummeting bundle.
Gotcha!
The wind-tossed paper sucked right into my grip.
Thud!
I flipped midair and landed lightly on the pavilion railing.
"Wh-what is that?!"
"A person!"
"Wh-who are you?!"
"Assassin! Assassin!"
Guards bellowed, the king backed away wide-eyed.
The old eunuch screamed for my capture, and Inner Royal Guard soldiers below drew spears and swords, charging up en masse.
"Protect His Highness!"
"You bastard! Get down here!"
They menaced me with gleaming blades.
Ha, this got messy.
Wanted to handle it quietly.
Oh well.
Time for Taoist Yi Gildong to shine again.
"Who are you? How dare you trespass here?!"
The Inner Royal Guard captain thrust his sword at me and shouted.
Wearing my deeply hooded bamboo hat, I waved the paper bundle.
"Just a passing Taoist."
"What? Taoist?"
"Saw a precious item caught in the wind and came to retrieve it."
"Taoist? Madman! Cut his head off now!"
"No, don't kill him! Capture alive and interrogate!"
At the captain's order, soldiers rushed me.
True to the elite guards of the king, they moved nimbly.
Tsk, no helping it.
Shing.
Clack!
I drew my telescoping staff from inventory and extended it.
My trusty yeouibong today too.
No, telescoping staff.
"This'll sting."
Thud!
I smacked aside the first soldier's sword and twisted his wrist.
"Argh!"
Then kneed his solar plexus and cracked the next one's jaw with the staff.
Thwack! Crack! Smack!
Crisp impacts echoed.
No blood intended.
These guys were just doing their jobs—palace civil servants.
A stranger popping up before the king? Understandable misunderstanding.
So, knockouts only.
"Y-you!"
"Block him! Evacuate His Highness!"
The guards swarmed desperately, but fell like autumn leaves.
Pow!
"Gah!"
I used a foaming soldier as a springboard to leap.
"Hyah!"
With a weird kiai, I smashed down from above on the last two's heads!
Of course, controlled force—no kills.
"Urk!"
"M-my head...!"
In seconds, the pavilion was a battlefield.
Guard bodies groaned on the floor.
"Now, let's talk."
I collapsed the staff and approached the cornered king.
"D-don't come closer!"
The king retreated, yelling.
Terror paled his already white face further; his frail legs buckled.
Thump.
He collapsed.
"Cough! Cough! Hack!"
Clutching his chest pitifully.
I'd only approached...
Is he dying?
"Your Highness! You bastard! You dare touch the royal body? Step over my corpse first!"
The old eunuch trembled but blocked the king bravely.
Loyalty's admirable.
And that line? Epic.
"Step over my corpse." Bucket-list drama dialogue.
I like him.
"Stand aside. I mean no harm."
I waved him gently to the side.
Now, just me and the king.
"Wh-what are you...? An assassin from traitors?"
"Fear not, Your Highness. I am no assassin."
I knelt on one knee, speaking as deferentially as possible.
Mana-altered voice, standard.
"Th-then...?"
"I am Taoist Yi Gildong. I serve heaven's will, come to dispel the clouds threatening this realm and Your Highness."
"Yi Gildong...? Taoist?"
"Yes. This holds the truth nearly lost to wicked schemers defying fate."
I placed the evidence before him respectfully.
"Please read it."
The king picked up the letter and began.
That eunuch's line was badass, though.
Should I try something similar?
As he read, I stood, hands behind back, facing the wind, tilting my hat slightly.
Backlit silhouette, face shadowed.
I intoned gravely.
"Not all is as it seems, Your Highness. The sharpest blade hides closest. Read this missive and rule wisely, saving the realm."
Cool as hell. Perfect period drama vibe?
Or not. Don't watch much sageuk anyway.
The king's face darkened as he read: shock, rage, betrayal.
He crumpled the paper upon finishing.
"I-is this true...? My father-in-law... the queen...!"
“All true. It also clears Eunuch Kim of his wrongful accusation and restores his innocence, after he was nearly slain unjustly.
"......"
"Your Highness, time is short. Publicize this now, or the Chief State Councillor will cut ties and flee."
"R-right. You there! Summon the Head of the State Council at once! And order the Capital Army commander to raid the Chief's residence!"
The king commanded the dazed eunuch, then eyed me.
Terror gone, replaced by curiosity.
A mysterious man drops from sky, flattens elite guards, hands over top-secret docs.
To him, I must seem like a true immortal sage.
"Taoist... Yi Gildong, was it."
"Yes, Your Highness."
"Why meddle in such affairs? What do you seek?"
"I seek no worldly glory. Merely to save the suffering people and restore order. I follow heaven's path... I've said my piece. Farewell."
"W-wait! Hold! I would reward you...!"
"No need for rewards. We shall meet again soon."
I stepped on the railing and leaped.
Whoosh!
Kicked the air, landed on the roof.
Vanished without looking back.
Pure movie scene.
"Soon," my ass. Probably real soon.
"......Huh?"