Chapter 37
Chapter 37
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 37
Chapter Title: [Secret Clinic] Clandestine Deal
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“Yaaawn……”
A yawn so wide it felt like it would split my mouth.
My eyelids weighed a ton.
A glance in the mirror showed dark circles drooping all the way to my chin.
“I'm gonna die, seriously.”
I hadn't gotten a proper night's sleep in the past week.
By day, I slaved away at the herbal clinic like a farmhand.
By night, I crouched on the roof of Moonlit Pavilion like a stray cat, pulling stakeout duty.
[Steel Body] kept my body in top shape, and [Earth's Blessing] washed away the physical fatigue—but those traits only worked on the flesh.
They couldn't touch mental exhaustion, and that's exactly what was piling up from the sleep deprivation.
My body felt fresh as ever, but my mind was getting gnawed away.
And it was all that damn eunuch bastard's fault.
‘When the hell is this castrated fuck finally gonna show?’
The guy I was waiting for never appeared, leaving me to endure endless drunks' snores and gisaengs' moans until my ears bled.
At this point, I could probably write a thesis on this world's nightlife.
Which room had the juiciest gisaeng moans, which lord had the most twisted tastes—useless trivia burned into my brain.
Some of it was no joke, though.
How the hell does something like that even fit in an ass……?
Gulp.
Saliva flooded my mouth on instinct.
Gotta try that myself someday.
I stepped out to the courtyard for a splash of water on my face when the inner quarters door creaked open. Master Heo Seol emerged.
“Master, you're up.”
“What the hell's with that face? You look like a half-starved mutt.”
“Slept rough last night.”
“Slept rough? Ha! Listen to this punk.”
The master lit his pipe and flashed a sly grin.
“Ease up a bit. Where you sneaking off to every night? Think I wouldn't notice?”
“Huh? Notice what?”
“Don't play coy. I know everything. That Panseo household's Lady Johee, right?”
“Pardon?”
“After the fuss you kicked up last time, she's probably tossing and turning over you. Figured she's ripe now, so you're sneaking midnight trysts?”
The man was spinning a whole novel.
Explaining the truth would be tricky, though.
Sir, I've been staking out Moonlit Pavilion every night to swipe the box that eunuch's gonna lose.
Can't exactly say that.
Better to let it slide as lady troubles.
In this rice-dick world's logic, man-woman entanglements were as natural as breathing.
I scratched my head with a sheepish look.
“Haha... the heart doesn't always obey, y'know.”
“Tsk tsk. Such a vigorous young buck.”
Master Heo Seol clucked his tongue, but his face looked amused despite himself.
“Still, tread carefully. That lady's already married. Sure, she's in a lonely widow's limbo playing the chaste wife, but she's got a husband on paper. Long tails get stepped on, and when they do, it's not just your head rolling.”
“I'll keep it in mind. Staying as discreet as possible. Won't let it drag the clinic into anything.”
“Good. A real man knows to rein in his lower half. Poke it wildly anywhere just 'cause you're overflowing, and you could end up ruined. Learn from me—enjoy in moderation and bail. Got it?”
“Y-Yes, sir. Loud and clear.”
I nodded vaguely.
Not like I could poke anything with my freakish size even if I wanted to.
To clear up the misunderstanding, I'd have to drop trou and show him—worse than death.
Better to be the lecherous playboy in his eyes.
Hell, I kinda liked it.
“Off to the palace again today?”
“Yeah, be back late. Lock up and turn in without me.”
“Safe travels, Master.”
Master Heo Seol climbed into his palanquin, servants flanking him as they passed through the gate.
During the day, I half-assed sorting herbs to build up stamina, sneaking catnaps in the gaps.
Stakeout resumed at nightfall.
The sun dipped below the western peaks, twilight settling in.
I swapped into plain black clothes, tugged my bamboo hat low, and vaulted the clinic's rear wall.
Moonlit Pavilion's nights were as dazzling as ever.
Red lanterns blazed, gayageum strings and singing voices spilling over the walls—a daily ritual.
Their nights burned brighter and gaudier than most folks' days.
I climbed onto the roof of the guest house across the way.
Did it so often now, it felt routine.
This spot might as well be my reserved seat.
I wedged into a tile gap and spread [Magic Detection] wide.
Murmuring crowds.
Booze stench, roasting meat, thick musk.
‘Please show up tonight.’
The dull wait began.
One sichen. Two.
The moon hung high overhead.
Ting.
A luxury palanquin halted at Moonlit Pavilion's entrance.
Not your standard noble rig—flashy ornaments, bearers in palace livery.
‘There.’
Instinct hit.
That was it.
Bearers lowered it, and someone stepped out.
Blue silk official robes, chin smooth as glass—no beard.
Narrow, slitted eyes and an upturned, arrogant jaw.
And above all, that oddly twisted aura wafting off him.
‘Bingo.’
Eunuch confirmed.
Same sleazy mug from the original.
Name? Some Kim eunuch or whatever.
Name didn't matter.
What counted was the red silk bundle cradled protectively in his arms.
‘Wooden box inside, no doubt.’
Royal medicine chest.
My missing 15-centimeter piece.
My dreams. My hopes.
“Welcome, milord!”
The head gisaeng rushed out barefoot, fawning shamelessly.
This was royal-grade traffic, after all.
Eunuch Kim nodded curtly and strode inside, bundle clutched tight.
“A quiet room. And send the top girls.”
“Right away, sir! Plum Blossom Room on the second floor special suite.”
What did a dickless wonder want with girls? No clue, but he followed her up to the second floor.
The very corner room I'd been eyeing for days: secluded Plum Blossom.
I crouched low and skittered across the roof.
Hanging under the second-floor eaves in the shadows, door obscured, I peered inside.
“Here you are.”
“Ha! Fine brew!”
Eunuch Kim guzzled at the head seat.
Two gisaengs flanked him, cooing and refilling his cup.
The red bundle sat right beside him, within arm's reach.
‘So, how's it get "lost" now?’
In the original, he got blackout drunk and misplaced it.
Just wait it out?
The drinking party kicked off.
Gisaengs poured, fed him bites, stroked his ego.
Our eunuch, in high spirits, groped tits and asses nonstop.
Dickless, yet out-playboying playboys.
Slide.
Door opened. A male servant entered with a booze tray.
Shabby clothes, nondescript face.
Your everyday grunt worker.
“More drinks here.”
He bowed low, setting the bottle on the table.
That instant.
Swish.
His hand flicked from sleeve to open air—in a blink.
Lightning-quick, seamless.
A normal eye would've seen him just rolling up his sleeve.
But not the eyes of a C-rank hunter with [Magic Detection] active.
Fine white powder slipped from his fingertips, vanishing into the eunuch's cup—no ripple.
‘……Well, now.’
So the eunuch didn't just lose it to heavy drinking in the original.
He got worked.
Deliberate approach, drugged, box swiped.
‘Getting fun.’
The manga glossed it over in flashback—eunuch beating himself up for boozing too hard.
Truth: targeted hit.
Those sleight-of-hand skills? No way a regular grunt.
“Another round, sir.”
Eunuch Kim took the laced cup from the gisaeng, oblivious.
“Mmm, excellent! More!”
Gulp.
Down the hatch, drug and all.
Effect hit like a truck.
Minutes later, his eyes glazed, body swaying.
“Uh... suddenly so... dizzy……”
“Milord? Had a bit too much?”
“Ugh……”
Thud.
Face-planted into the table, out cold.
Gisaengs shook him in panic, but he flopped like a corpse.
“Oh no, milord!”
“Are you all right?”
Not accomplices, apparently.
Solo job by that guy.
In the chaos, the servant slipped back in.
“Lord Kim Eunuch! Wake up! Too much drink, eh?”
Pretended to rouse him, then slyly reached for the red bundle beside.
Swipe.
Snatched it like it was his own, tucked into his voluminous robes.
Propped the eunuch roughly in place and bowed to the gisaengs.
“Aigoo, he's totally passed out. I'll fetch a wet cloth.”
With that, he bolted.
‘Got you, punk.’
Even without this, swiping someone else's take felt good—but stealing from a thief? Pure bliss.
This was justice in action.
Sure, justice for my dick, but hey—world runs on that.
The servant feinted toward the kitchen, then veered to the dim back door.
His glance around sharpened, a cold, razor aura leaking out.
Hopped the back wall smooth, melted into shadows.
Slithered Hanyang's tangled alleys like an eel—pro moves.
‘Trained martial artist.’
Clean footwork, near-silent steps. No common laborer.
In this no-superpowers historical drama world, top-tier expert maybe.
But against me? Laughable.
‘Let's see where he leads.’
Hunter dynamic vision and [Magic Detection] kept me on his tail, silent as a ghost.
Could snatch him anytime, but...
‘Curious.’
Not in the original.
Like Erika's [Hakuna Kirimaru] on mine level 1—might uncover new lore.
He bolted long, toward a deserted ruin district.
Crumbled thatch hut, yard choked with weeds.
Slipped inside; a voice from within.
“You're here.”
Hand-off man.
I alighted softly on the roof, peeked through tiles.
Moonlight on the floor: one man in black mask.
“Got it.”
Thump.
Disguised servant tossed the red bundle from his bosom.
“Good work. No tails?”
“Moonlit Pavilion's swamped with the party. Eunuch's drugged—won't stir till morning.”
“Well done. Client'll be thrilled.”
The masked man scooped it up, about to check contents.
‘Client?’
Clear backer.
Political scheme?
Rival doc's orders?
Intriguing.
Masked man pulled a money pouch from his robes.
“Balance due. This stays buried with us.”
“No worries. My lips are Hanyang's tightest.”
Deal sealed. I cracked my neck, rising.
Hero entrance time.
Crunch!
Deliberately stomped a tile loud.
“Who's there!”
Both snapped looks upward.
Shocked eyes.
Bamboo hat low, I launched from the roof into open air.
Jump power mortals couldn't touch.
Whirr.
Handsome midair flip on the drop.
No-ability world? They'd cream themselves.
Soared skyward, then gravity yanked me down.
Boom!
Hero landing—dust billowed. Both yelped, stumbling back.
“What the hell are you?”
Masked drew a dagger; servant gripped a sleeve knife.
Blades out, but eyes tense.
I didn't look like easy pickings.
“Lovely night. Sorry to crash the deal, but that—”
I pointed at the red bundle in his grip.
“That's mine. So hand it over nice and easy?”