I Am the Culprit. 5.
I am the culprit. 5. I am the culprit. I don't want to admit it. How many days have passed since I spent those days sharpening the blade of revenge dozens of times, only to be thoroughly messed up by the Demon King? It's already been several days—perhaps even a week. That means, while time flew by so ignorantly fast, I was doing absolutely nothing and simply enjoying my physical relationship with the Demon King. Damn it, I don't want to admit it. If it were up to me, I'd love to say I spent that entire week desperately searching for ways to take revenge on the Demon King, but... standing blankly in front of the mirror is a foolish woman with a dazed expression. To my surprise, that really is me. Try to find even a shred of the pride you had as a man, Belberman... You weren't the kind of man to submit to something like this. Right, that's not it. I am Belberman. Belberman, one of the fifteen heroes. Belberman... or so I tell myself.
"····"
But why is it that the more I think that way while standing in front of the mirror, the more my confidence seems to crumble? Was it because of my appearance? I was clearly facing myself in the mirror to snap out of it and repeating those words, yet my mental strength is only being whittled away further.
"Belberman, pull yourself together····"
Still, I have to pull myself together somehow. Even if I mutter that to myself, it doesn't feel like the reflection in the mirror is speaking—it feels more like an entirely different woman is encouraging me to hang in there. I have to hang in there. Right now, I'm prey dragged into a tiger's den, so whether I live or die depends on keeping my wits about me. And above all, the more I keep my wits about me, the better chance I have of feeding the blade of my revenge to that tiger. However. However····
"···· Haah."
Staring quietly at my reflection in the mirror, I still can't bring myself to do it. Even when I was a man, I wasn't the type to treat women carelessly—in fact, I lived thinking I had to protect them. Now that I've ended up in this body, no matter how much I tell myself it's my own body, I can't bring myself to treat it roughly, and I'm not even sure if I could do something harsh. I just can't do any of it. Honestly, the best idea that comes to mind right now is to give up on everything and become the Demon King's subordinate. Mentally and physically. But. Even so.
"····· No."
I will never make that choice. I am a human who already swore to sacrifice this one life for humanity, a human who declared I would follow the heroes and subjugate the Demon King. The only human left who inherited the will of all the heroes. "····" I didn't have any dreams today. But when was it—back in those long-ago days when business wasn't going well, I stood in front of the mirror looking this dejected. I remember that somewhere, Karman approached and draped an arm around my shoulder, speaking playfully.
"Hey, you big bear. Did you space out after only catching bears~?"
When I answered in a sullen voice that I didn't know what I should do anymore, Karman—the only one who matched my height, that cool woman—would reply.
"When have we ever done anything certain? We've always lived gambling with our lives on the line."
Right. That's how it was. We've always gambled our lives on uncertain things and come out victorious until now. That doesn't mean I was a lucky person. It's just that fifteen of us gathered, and each one became the other's luck. Even though right now, I don't have any of that luck left.
"Alright, let's go now, big bear~ The kids are waiting outside."
Why is it that seeing your illusion patting my back beyond the mirror makes my heart feel a little lighter, Karman? And beyond my large retreating figure as I opened the door and stepped out, I could see Kain, Felt. Chris and Evant, Justitia. Even Jeren.
"···· Yeah, I'll be right there."
That's what I said, squeezing my eyes shut and swallowing back the times I spent with them, clenching my fists tightly.
"I'll pay you back soon."
No matter how I think about it, Demon King, you chose wrong. If you needed an attachment doll, you should've picked someone else, not me. No. No one would ever become that kind of doll for you. Every human who stands before you will feel the exact same way I do. "·····" Even though my body has changed so much, I slowly extended my fist toward my reflection with determined eyes and said.
"Take care of me, new me."
Until I fulfill my destiny, this body is what I'll ultimately have to be with. So just until then, I'm asking you to take care of me. Let's do this together. That's how I expressed my willingness to accept it. Swish—— While I was steadying my resolve in front of the mirror like that, a familiar figure began to appear behind my delicate reflection beyond the glass.
"Hop hop, hop hop."
Right. I don't know how she did it again, but it's my one and only subordinate who entered without the slightest presence or sound. I carefully turned around and greeted her in a gentle voice.
"Good morning, Jemma."
"··· Yes, Master. It's Jemma."
She seemed surprised that I greeted her first, pausing for a moment before returning the greeting. While we were having our usual small talk, it occurred to me that since Jemma had appeared at just the right moment, I should try something I hadn't attempted yet because I'd been too preoccupied with my relationship with the Demon King. Slide——
"Hmm, hmm hmm hmm···"
After petting Jemma thoroughly, I sat on the edge of the bed and faced her.
"Hmm, the Master is quite proactive today···"
Jemma made a gesture as if twisting her entire body in embarrassment. Though she still looked completely expressionless, I could faintly sense the deep emotional undercurrents beneath that surface. Seeing her like that, I decided to ask the questions I'd been wanting to ask for a while.
"Do you know anything about my body?"
Even though Jemma had been making a fuss earlier, saying things like "What are you going to do to me?" or "You're going to do all sorts of messed-up things," when I asked about my body, she closed her eyes and thought carefully before answering.
"Your breasts are large."
"Huh?"
It was an answer I never could have imagined. Hearing it made the back of my head feel numb, and I couldn't even react to Jemma's response. Then she added,
"Other than that, your hips are pretty."
"W-What are you saying——!"
Jemma blurted it out without even looking back, like a rhinoceros that had lost its mind, making my face flush bright red.
"N-Not that kind of strange talk···· You know the Demon King treats me roughly every night."
Wanting to correct her before she went any further off track, I got straight to the point this time and began pressing her.
"I definitely died at the Demon King's hands, but when I opened my eyes, my body was completely clean. It's just··· too strange."
Jemma listened quietly to my words for a moment, then without saying anything. "·····" Without any expression. "···· Jemma?" Without any movement, she just stared at me intently. "Jem···· Jemma?" "Master." The moment I began to feel increasingly unsettled and started to panic, Jemma—who hadn't even blinked once—called my name and said,
"Sometimes, there are secrets you're better off not knowing."
As if she might take my life at any moment, she spoke those terrifying words like a warning. "····" As I began swallowing dryly, she continued.
"For example···· like how your body gets swapped out every night for a new attendant's body····."
As Jemma said this, for some reason she spread both hands wide open. I stared at her blankly for a moment. Then Jemma clenched and unclenched her spread hands and said,
"Hmm. ···· It was a joke."
Realizing her gesture hadn't worked, she returned her hands to a polite position and smiled with her eyes.
"Actually, I don't know anything either, so I can't answer any of the things you mentioned."
For some reason, hearing that was incredibly reassuring, and I let out a sigh before—Thwack——
"Kek——"
"Please don't scare me like that···!"
I delivered a desperate flick to Jemma's forehead. Still not calmed down from Jemma's joke, I tried to steady my pounding heart while saying,
"U-Uu···· If that's the kind of play you prefer, I'll comply without complaint··· but actually, I'm not into that sort of thing——"
"What are you saying now——!?"
After letting out an involuntary exclamation of admiration—not really admiration—at Jemma's remarkable imagination that could come up with such thoughts even after getting flicked, it seemed Jemma really didn't know anything, so I went back to my solitary contemplation.
"R-Right···· Well, then there's nothing I can do····"
Realizing I couldn't get much out of Jemma either, I began wondering what I should do to find the Demon King's weakness. "···" As if wanting to help with my worries, Jemma had been quietly waiting for me, blinking at me for a moment before saying,
"How about using that bookshelf? The Demon King has never once opened it."
She pointed to the large bookshelf in the corner of the room. Of course, I hadn't not thought of that. However, not long ago when I had the chance, I took out a few books and tried to read them····
"I-I don't know the demon language."
Other than the fact that these crazy demon bastards had their own independent language, I hadn't been able to find out anything. "I see. I don't know it either." Jemma said it as if it were obvious. But aren't you a demon beast? Is it because you're a demon beast that you don't know? Are demon beasts and demons different? Do demons have demon beasts? Hmm? "···" As I stared at Jemma with a completely bewildered look, she glanced around the room for a moment before turning her gaze back to me and saying,
"Then it would be good to go find someone who knows the demon language."
"Huh?"
As if there was no information worth obtaining from me in this room, she really seemed to be suggesting she'd take me outside.
"G-Go out?"
I was startled by the sudden opportunity for escape. However, that only lasted a moment. Regaining my composure instantly, I realized I'd been waiting for this moment. If possible, I needed to go outside under the pretext of being with Jemma and gather as much information as I could to find the Demon King's weakness. Even if Jemma figured out my intentions, how long had I been waiting for this moment! It's not like I was just excited about the outing I'd been longing for! Right, I'm not excited about the outing. Right now, I'm a vengeful spirit who's been given the perfect opportunity! "Let's go, Master." Led by Jemma's hand, I carefully stepped out of the room. Fortunately, unlike last time when I attempted to escape alone, there was no one in front of the door this time. There were only a few humanoid demon beasts passing by in the middle, and they were so focused on their own tasks that they paid no attention to me. As soon as I was led outside by Jemma's hand, I asked in a worried voice,
"I-It's okay for me to be out, right···?"
I still wasn't used to it and wasn't sure if it was really okay. However.
"Well, as long as we return before the Demon King comes back, it should be fine. I'll calculate exactly one hour, so you don't need to worry."
Jemma, still wearing her reliable expressionless face, pulled the thoroughly frightened me further outside. Little by little, I began to face the outside world once again. "··· Outside, it is." Even though the first thing I encountered after leaving the room was just a huge, wide corridor, that alone made my heart feel like it had been punched open, and I looked around with sparkling eyes. "This really is the Demon King's castle···" The familiar, bland interior and the seemingly simple structure clearly indicated this was the Demon King's castle, but that didn't really matter anymore. I already knew it would be the Demon King's castle anyway, and right now I was satisfied just with the sense of liberation from having escaped the room. It felt like I was flying right now. "Now, let's go, Master." While I was admiring this vast corridor with sparkling eyes, Jemma took my hand and led me somewhere. As I began walking, following her hand hesitantly, I said,
"W-Woah·····"
Why is it that I feel like I have to smile? No, it feels like I can't hold back the smile that's forming. Even though it's just for a fleeting moment, I'm so grateful to Jemma for taking me outside. With a truly bright smile, I stuck close to Jemma's side and said,
"Right, let's go, Jemma!"
Following Jemma, I began walking down the very long and wide corridor. Tap, tap—— The footsteps of two women echoed through this corridor, and we, the owners of those footsteps, began exploring our surroundings little by little. Jemma led me here and there along the corridor, showing me the location of the general library, the dining hall used by subordinates, the dining hall used by executives, the dining hall used by the Demon King, and the reasonably sized garden and resting area located in the center. "Whoa····" The garden's ceiling was open and covered with glass—it was truly spectacular. The sunlight filtering in softly created beautiful rays of light, and I found myself stopping repeatedly, captivated by such beautiful sights I'd rarely seen even when I was a man. "Hmm····?" During the war, it seemed like there hadn't been any facilities like this at all, so I felt somewhat puzzled. As Jemma guided me to another place, she said,
"The Demon King's office is upstairs, so it should be fine to wander around a bit more. Let's go quickly."
"Upstairs?"
As I followed Jemma, I questioned the word "upstairs," and soon Jemma was about to explain about the upper floor while walking down the corridor when suddenly someone began approaching from a distance. Slide—— She pulled me very strongly into her embrace, hiding me from that person's view. "It's alright, apprentice. Everyone makes mistakes at first." Thud, thud, thud——— And by treating me as an attendant, she made it so that the person passing by paid no attention to us at all. As I held my breath and stayed in Jemma's embrace, she held me tightly until that person completely disappeared from view. "·····" "····" Even several minutes after that person had completely disappeared from view. For some reason, Jemma wasn't letting me go, and I kept looking around warily, wondering if something was wrong. "Hmm··· Um, umfufu." Suddenly, suspicious laughter began to come from Jemma little by little, and the moment our eyes met. "As expected, doing this with the Master really is nice." "Y-You——" Realizing this was also one of Jemma's jokes, I blushed bright red and tried to push her away. Jemma carefully released me and said,
"It's alright, you don't need to worry anymore."
While naturally straightening her clothes, she explained about the person who had just passed by.
"The person who just passed by was Executive Chrislis. Their personality isn't as eccentric as the Demon King's, but after the previous incident, they've developed a tendency to dislike humans···· so I had no choice but to treat you as an attendant. Please forgive me·····"
Of course, her explanation also contained an apology toward me, but I didn't consider such things important at all.
"That doesn't matter, don't apologize one by one."
After immediately and firmly forgiving her, I made sure to remember Executive Chrislis's appearance in detail. It was so I could remember and react if I encountered them again in the future. "Chrislis····" Though male, they had long hair, a well-maintained uniform, and a single horn on the side of their head different from the Demon King's. Unlike the Demon King who usually had a tail, they had a single wing along with their single horn. "It seems like I've met them before·····" Then suddenly, I thought they might be an executive I encountered during the subjugation of the Demon King's castle when I was a man, and I tried to think about it carefully. However, at that moment. Tap—— "There are still many places I'd like to show you, Master." "Ah····" Jemma seemed genuinely pleased by my forgiveness earlier, and with a very happy expressionless face, she led me again while changing the subject. Seeing Jemma like that, I figured I could think about executives and such later anyway, so after shaking my head vigorously, I decided to focus on my time with Jemma for now. "Right···!" After that, we visited even more places. There was an enormous, extra-large bathroom I'd never seen even during my hero days, and bathtubs of ridiculous size. There were special rooms where attendants received special care, and training grounds of tremendous size where one could hone martial arts. It really was a perfect castle. And Jemma didn't stop at just showing me all these places—she continued with the explanation she hadn't been able to give earlier.
"Actually, the Demon King's castle we're in right now is located underground."
The fact that where we were wasn't above ground, but underground. "Uh····?" But if that were the case, sunlight had been seeping in from the garden we passed earlier, and there were windows······ Windows, there are no windows. Now that I thought about it, I realized there weren't any windows here at all. As I listened to Jemma's explanation, she said,
"Due to the influence of the conquest war, the Demon King was concerned about being attacked at any time, so along with the above-ground Demon King's castle that serves as a fortress to respond to external enemies, she created a separate underground Demon King's castle for us, whom she cherishes."
Jemma praised the Demon King, saying she cherished her own kind terribly. "Thanks to that, we demon beasts who had nowhere to go pledged our loyalty to the Demon King and came to work in this underground Demon King's castle." As we finally set foot in Jemma's personal resting room and began staying there for a moment, I ate the snacks Jemma served me there while listening to the rest of the story. Even while telling the story, Jemma kept serving me new snacks even though I hadn't finished eating what she'd already given me. "Mmph, mmph, mm···· There's so much loyalty···· Demon King····" Even so, without being swayed by the snacks, I was completely absorbed in Jemma's story. Rather than focusing on the snacks, I focused more on Jemma while talking, and for some reason, seeing that Jemma had her own personal room, I carefully mentioned it. "By the way, Jemma, you must have been quite an important person." "Ahem, well, a little." Not only did she have a personal room, but the personal room was enormously large, and I asked while feeling somewhat flustered. "Originally, was being an attendant treated this well····?" And soon, as I began to be surprised once more while looking around Jemma's enormously spacious and comfortable personal room, she said,
"Because I'm not just a simple loyal subordinate, the Demon King highly values my loyalty."
Jemma walked around with her shoulders and nose held high as if they might pierce the sky, smiling expressionlessly. "I see····" As I looked at Jemma again while using my invincible "I see" skill, she said,
"Actually, Gematria died~"
"What? Really?"
Surprised by what Jemma said, I looked at her. But why was it that Jemma was still smiling without saying anything? "That's right, she willingly sacrificed her life in the most recent Demon King's castle defense battle~" As I stiffened my body, feeling something strange as if what I'd just said wasn't about Jemma, someone sneakily took away the cookie I was holding. Only then. Only then did I realize that someone had been sitting next to me. "Oh wait, that's prepared for the Master!" Only then did Jemma, who had followed my gaze and discovered that someone, speak to them in a somehow calm manner. "Eh? I want to eat too, I was hungry because I ate little for breakfast." As I carefully turned my stiff neck and looked at the someone sitting next to me, "You always hole up in my room, so the subordinates deliberately serve less food to make you come out." Jemma shot at that someone with a thorny, expressionless voice while beginning to prepare a separate portion for them. And soon, the someone whose eyes I met···· "Ugh, I don't want to go out." While making eye contact with me at the same time, for some reason they were a demon with a wicked smile. "Who·····" As I carefully spoke up, thinking they seemed to know Jemma and seemed like someone I was allowed to meet, they said,
"Hmm, alright~ This time I'll specially introduce myself first."
With one jet-black eye sparkling, she swayed her deep jet-black hair and roughly brushed aside her messy bangs before answering.
"I'm the Demon King's army executive whom everyone looks up to, Chesterzestria Irenlaus Jekamuer G Kibotos."
I couldn't help but look at her with strange eyes as she proudly announced her name. However, soon after hearing her say she was a Demon King's army executive, "J-Jemma···" I looked at Jemma with a face that seemed to ask if it was okay to act like this. But before I could even turn my head to look at Jemma, that Kibotos or whatever grabbed my chin and turned my head back to face her, pressing firmly—— "Ugh···" "Why, are you suddenly scared? Why~" While maintaining the comfortable sitting posture, she immediately lay down on the chair and began kneading my face. "Don't worry, I don't have any prejudices~" Fortunately, Executive Kibotos said she had no prejudices regarding race and continued to poke at my cheeks. However. "It's just that I hate humans to a serious degree." Was this an executive trait? For some reason, I could feel killing intent from the hand of the one who had been kneading my cheek, and as I sent a desperate rescue signal to Jemma with moist eyes, wondering if I'd really die like this without knowing whether I'd revive or not if I got killed here, "Kibotos, you should stop tormenting them." "Why, because she's the Demon King's plaything~?" Jemma approached before I could even send the rescue signal and blocked Kibotos in the best way possible. "No, if you keep tormenting them, I feel like I'll eat all your snacks." "Eh? No, my snacks!!" Fortunately, Kibotos, who had come to her senses at Jemma's words, succeeded in rescuing me by letting go and snatching one snack, but everything else had already been cleared away by Jemma. "No, my snacks!!!!" No matter how much Kibotos wailed, Jemma's heart had already left. As I stared blankly at the executive's figure who had been laughing and crying over snacks, that executive who looked at me with a suddenly pitiful face said,
"Th-This human···· Can't you donate just one tart to this pitiful me····?"
They clung to me with an extremely soft expression, but.
"Absolutely not. You came into my room again today without going to see the Demon King. And above all, you scared my Master as you pleased."
Jemma, who had embraced me and pulled me away from Kibotos, had already made up her mind a long time ago. Then Kibotos, as if throwing a tantrum like a child, shook their body back and forth. "Aaah, I hate it~ I hate the Demon King~ She always gets angry and only makes me work····" They tried to act pitiful somehow to obtain the snacks, but. "That's not it···· The Demon King——" "Aaaah, I hate it——!" Even if Jemma tried to persuade them while embracing me, the executive had already gone too far. "I'm not working, I'm not going out. I'll just not eat then, damn it." The hikikomori executive Kibotos, who had given up, stood up and trudged toward the corner of the room. Then, stopping for a moment, they looked back and said,
"You're really not going to give me any·····?"
They showed moist eyes one last time, but even so, at Jemma's firm head shake, Kibotos let out a deep sigh again and muttered that there was no one on their side in this world. For some reason, as I quietly watched that skit-like scene, I got the feeling that if I didn't give Kibotos snacks, something big would happen in various ways. "Um, Kibotos." "Huh····?" Toward Kibotos's back, which seemed like it would disappear into the corner of the room, I held out one of my cookies. "Huh?" Kibotos tilted their head once and glanced at Jemma, but fortunately Jemma, who didn't go against my wishes, stayed quiet. "A-Are you really going to give that to me? That?" Kibotos approached me in an instant as if turning back time and pointed at the cookie with their finger, smiling sinisterly. As I nodded, "Uahaha! As expected, humans are the best~!" Kibotos revealed without reserve their tremendous personality that could flip their values with even the smallest thing. As I watched Kibotos treating that single cookie very preciously while nibbling on it little by little, I carefully asked Jemma,
"How long have they been starving?"
Jemma seemed to think about something for a moment before kindly answering me.
"This morning it was one egg, and for the past week there was no meal service."
As I pushed all the snacks on my table toward them, Slide—— "Ah, you shouldn't····" Jemma let out a genuinely regretful voice and let out a suspiciously wistful sigh, but. "I don't know why they're being starved···· but I don't know, so I'll just give it." My meddling nature had been famous since my hero days. Meddling that no one could stop. However, I've never seen anyone saddened by this meddling of mine. "····" As Kibotos stared at me for a moment, "Teeeeeeng······!" They soon shed tears like a waterfall and were deeply moved by my kindness. Actually, even this meddling of mine—if Jemma hadn't been there. If Jemma hadn't been there, regardless of whether they were an executive or starving, I might have tried to fight for my life just because I'd been discovered by an executive. But because I'd experienced the excellent precedent that was Jemma, I was able to show meddling even toward a messed-up executive. It was because I had the conviction that if I showed goodwill to demons, they could also show goodwill to me. And that wish of mine definitely worked on Kibotos as well. "Mmm mmm····" After stuffing snacks into their mouth for a long while, Kibotos soon looked up at me with eyes as if looking up to me, and after barely managing to swallow the snacks filling their mouth, they carefully said to me.
"Well···· I-It's not like I'm particularly grateful or anything~"
"The Master has shown you favor, so you should properly express your gratitude."
Of course, even that didn't sit well with Jemma, who scolded Kibotos with a cold-blooded voice, but "Th-Thank you, human····" In the end, Kibotos bowed their head deeply and greeted me before sitting back down in a comfortable position. Soon after placing their arms comfortably on the table and resting their chin on their hands, they looked at me and said,
"Well, anyway···· Why did you come outside?"
While glancing at Jemma who had been with me, they asked me as if they'd wanted to ask from the beginning. As I looked up at Jemma for a moment, for some reason, if this executive who seemed to have been holed up in a corner of the room but knew about my existence might know something, "I wanted to know about Gematria." It was different from my original purpose, but it wasn't that far off either, and in the end, that information also seemed to hold some important meaning for some reason. That's what I asked. Just as I'd unconsciously mentioned earlier, if this place was originally Gematria's room rather than Jemma's room, and if this executive had always sneaked into this room. And if, as Kibotos had said earlier, Gematria had really died. It was obvious that this executive called Kibotos would know something. However, why was it that the moment I said those words, Jemma's arm that had been embracing me stiffened slightly, and "Ah, Gematria····" Kibotos soon averted their gaze from me and made a dark expression. Then, while maintaining that expression, they glanced at me sideways for a moment before saying to me. "Gematria." "You." I. "Killed her." I. In that instant, I became dazed.