A Christmas Wish

"Uggghhh!" My hand trembled violently as I clutched my pen. The feverish heat flushing my face showed no signs of cooling down.

With Shine fast asleep, I had started studying all on my own. But the problems staring back at me felt like an insurmountable wall. I couldn't solve a single one. I needed Shine. But I couldn't bring myself to wake her. I tried desperately to focus, straining my mind. Objectively, the problems before my eyes shouldn't have been difficult. I already knew the formulas and the answers to them. And yet, I couldn't solve them.

"Here. Drink this while you work." Amy poured me a glass of ice-cold cola. Reaching out with both hands, I took the large cup and gulped it down. The refreshing chill sliding down my throat helped cool the heat in my body. Feeling a bit more composed, I slowly caught my breath.

"Jeff, is there a present you want for Christmas?"

"A present...?"

"Yes."

At Amy's question, I let the pen slip from my hand. It was foolish to keep banging my head against a problem I couldn't solve anyway. I'll just wait for Shine to wake up and solve them with her. I fell into deep thought over Amy's question. If I could actually get anything, I wanted Lucy's magic wand from The Little Witch's Grand Adventure.

"Is Santa really real?"

"Of course he is."

"But he's never visited me. Not even once." I let out a sigh as I spoke. I couldn't bring myself to believe in the existence of this "Santa" Amy spoke of.

"This time will be different."

"Really?"

"Yes."

In all my years of living, Santa had never once visited me. Perhaps that was why I couldn't easily bring myself to trust Amy's words. It was better not to harbor useless expectations. The greater the expectation, the deeper the disappointment. That was a lesson I had learned the hard way during my childhood.

My childhood. What was my very first Christmas like? Cold, hungry... Lost in old memories, I picked up my pen and began spinning it over my fingers. The pen spun rapidly in my small hand. As if being sucked into the rotation, I drifted deeper into the past.

The spinning pen suddenly stopped. I naturally moved my hand and began solving the math problems.

"Hmm..." I set the pen down. Would it be any different now?

"Can I really believe it?"

"Believe what, sweetheart?"

"That Santa exists." I looked up at Amy as I asked. Was it really okay for me to believe, just one more time?

"I promise you, Jeff. I'll make sure you meet Santa this Christmas." Amy had never once lied to me. She was someone I could truly trust. I gave a cautious nod.

"Do you want to tell me what present you want?"

"But Amy, Santa is the one who gives the presents."

"Ah..." Amy shut her mouth, looking momentarily struck by my words. She closed her eyes as if lost in deep thought for a moment, then suddenly stood up. Seeing the small smile playing on her lips, it seemed she had come up with a brilliant idea.

"Alright, Jeff. Then let's send a letter to Santa."

"A letter?"

"Yes. You write down the present you want in a letter."

"But I don't know Santa's address."

"That's fine! I know it!"

Well, that was a relief. I nodded blankly. Looking thoroughly excited, Amy bounced up from her seat and hurried out of the room.

"Jeff?" Woken by the sound of Amy leaving, Shine rubbed her eyes and spoke. Her voice was thick ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠with sleep. I turned my gaze to look at her. Shine, my family who had always been with me. My sister. Sister? A faint wave of resistance welled up inside me, bringing a sudden doubt. My childhood memories definitely began in the mountains of trash. But no matter how hard I searched my memories, Shine was nowhere to be found in that wasteland.

"Shine."

"Yeah?"

"We really are family, right?"

"Jeff?" Shine's expression stiffened at my words. She slowly walked over and sat down beside me.

"I don't know, Shine. I was thinking about the past, but you weren't there." I rubbed my eyes with both hands as I spoke. My head throbbed. "It's strange. I didn't have any family back then."

Shine let out a soft chuckle and reached out. Her hand wrapped around my head, her touch incredibly gentle. She pulled me lightly toward her. Without resisting, I let myself sink into her embrace. Feeling her soft, warm body, I gently closed my eyes.

"Shine. I think I've been really strange lately."

"No, Jeff. You're not strange."

"No, I really am. I've become so weird." I mumbled, burying myself deeper into her chest. "Those math problems were so hard... but just now, they suddenly felt easy again." I shifted my gaze to the desk. Shine's eyes followed mine. While I had been lost in my memories, my hand had moved on its own, naturally writing down the correct answers. "Isn't that strange?"

Shine didn't say a word. I looked up at her and spoke. "Shine. Why weren't you there in the past?" I asked, recalling my life in the trash mountains. I had always been alone there. If I hadn't been alone, if Shine had been by my side, maybe I could have remembered those days as at least a little bit happy.

Looking down at me, Shine offered a sweet smile and reached out. Her small hand covered my face. Behind the darkness of her palm, Shine's voice drifted into my ears. "But Jeff, you've never lived in a place like that."

Along with Shine's quiet voice, a sharp burst of static erupted in my head. Kzzzt—krshhh— "My ears hurt." I shook my head, covering my ears. But the static wouldn't go away.

Shine's hand moved slowly, gently stroking my hair. With every stroke of her hand, the memory of the massive mountain of garbage sank deep into the abyss. As if filling the empty space, memories of being with Shine surfaced with vivid clarity. A beautiful house with a red roof, and the happy memories of playing in the spacious yard in front of it.

"You lived here, didn't you? Right, Jeff?"

"Yeah..." I nodded blankly. Hearing her say it, it felt like the absolute truth.

Drip. Drip. Just then, I felt a faint warmth on my forehead. Like falling raindrops, a hot liquid splattered against my skin. I raised my hand to touch my forehead. "Shine?" My tightly shut eyes snapped open. Red. The first thing that came into view was Shine's face. Her expression was contorted as she pinched her nose. Blood was pouring out from between her fingers, dripping down onto my forehead.

"Shine!" I scrambled up in a panic. The blood on my forehead trickled down, streaking across my face. Flustered, I looked around frantically and grabbed a handful of tissues. My hands shook violently. My vision blurred as tears welled up in my eyes.

"Jeff. Don't cry." Shine spoke in a calm voice, taking the tissues I offered to block her nose. The tissues in her hand instantly stained a deep crimson.

"Are... are you hurt? Are you sick?"

"I'm fine." Shine was the one bleeding, yet I was the one making a massive fuss. Her calm voice gradually quieted my racing heart. Once I calmed down, I pulled out more tissues and began scrubbing the spots where Shine's blood had dripped. But I couldn't clean it all. The chair, the table, and even my own forehead—thin, smeared streaks of blood had already begun to dry.

It wasn't long before Amy returned. Holding a beautiful letter-writing set, she took one look at Shine and me covered in blood and let out a high-pitched shriek. "Jeff! Shine!" We both opened our mouths to explain, but Amy scooped us both up in her arms and bolted out of the room at terrifying speed. Our arms and legs flailed wildly as our surroundings blurred past. Before we knew it, we had arrived at the small clinic where Rabin worked.

"Rabin!" Crash! Since her hands were full carrying us, Amy couldn't open the door normally—so she kicked it wide open. The door, blasted off its hinges ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠by her kick, skidded across the floor and slammed into a massive shelf in the corner of the clinic, bringing it crashing down. A deafening shatter echoed through the room. Dangling helplessly from Amy's arms, I turned my head to see countless medicine bottles falling from the shelf, spilling their contents everywhere. Rabin, who had been resting in a large chair, stared at us with wide, round eyes.

"Amy?"

"Rabin! Please look at the girls!" Amy practically flew toward Rabin, her voice laced with panic. Startled by her sudden entrance, Rabin leaped up from his seat, his gaze darting between Shine and me. I could only offer him an awkward, sheepish smile.

"Hello..."

"Hi, Rabin." Shine and I waved our hands in greeting.

"There's blood..."

"Shine just had a nosebleed." Hearing my explanation, Amy's ragged, panicked breathing finally began to slow down.

"A nosebleed...?"

"Yes." Shine nodded in agreement. Only then did Amy take a closer, detailed look at Shine. Although we had wiped most of it off, the rapidly drying blood couldn't be completely cleaned. Faint, smeared red stains still covered the area around her nose and mouth.

"You're not hurt?"

"No." At Shine's response, Amy sank to the floor, her legs giving out. Sliding onto the ground, she closed her eyes and pulled both of us into a tight, crushing hug. "Thank goodness..." I wriggled slightly, letting out an awkward laugh. Not only was Amy's grip incredibly strong, but the sheer weight of her affectionate worry felt just a little bit overwhelming.